And so, I'm coming up on a year's time of dipping my toes into the vore community within the next couple days. It's a good time for me to reflect, I think, as well as consider my future in this kind of community/fetish.
I stumbled upon this community through tumblr, which I explored in the vore tag a little bit once I finally dredged up the courage to see what I had been avoiding for so long due to my own insecurities with liking such a thing. I lurked for a little while, trying to get a feel for things, and eventually ended up caving and making an account.
And so my adventure began. Being a huge fan of M/F vore, I was very hesitant to step into the community at all. From what I could see on tumblr, DA, and here, there wasn't much love for the area of vore that I enjoyed and wanted to express my passion and interest in. I remember creating a thread in which I attempted a 'call to arms' to gather M/F lovers, fully expressing my own intent to gladly add to the cause with my own art and writing. It didn't go over so well, as even a year later, M/F is still relatively obscure and most often only included with other types of vore instead of a stand-alone thing. But I did meet some cool people along the way and enjoy sharing some of those rare M/F gems and doing my best to support other M/F enthusiasts.
My welcome into the community was actually much greater than I expected, on the art front. Unlike most of the forum threads where I tried to socialize and was often ignored (except for threads like the M/F vore thread), there were people that seemed to actually enjoy what I had to post on the site to share. And that was a nice feeling. Sure, I ended up getting some shitty messages about how I should draw female preds and asking when I'd do some F/F or F/M or why I liked M/F when it was "gross", etc. But in the wake even finding a few people who appreciated what I had to give, it was well worth it. Likewise, with RPing, I had some really bad experiences from the get-go, but later on found some awesome people to RP with (even though nearly all of them have long since disappeared by now). It's been a constant hit or miss.
After a year of being involved, I have very mixed feelings about the community. I avoid posting in most of the forums now except for certain specific threads, and the amount of negativity toward what people don't like and the desire to constantly complain about it loudly is off-putting, but it still feels good to be able to contribute something to the community. I haven't really made a lot of friends, and contributing mostly things I do on my own, which isn't always really that enjoyable. I do wish I had more interactions and that I could talk to people about my ideas and drawings, have doodle buddies, etc, but even a year later, M/F vore just doesn't seem like something people really want to get involved in.
It is disheartening, I admit. I know people say that if you want something, do it yourself---and I have. Excessively. Many times. But doing things by yourself a lot isn't a whole lot of fun. And sometimes it really does suck to see that majority preferences tend to leave you in the dust because you won't conform. I considered leaving a few times over this past year, but I'm glad that I didn't. Every once in awhile, I'm fortunate enough to meet someone new or receive support that keeps me going. It can be a rough road a lot of the time, but I'm doing my best. Why?
Because I imagine there are other people out there, like me, who may first come to this community looking for M/F vore content and not find much, and instantly begin to wonder if it's worth their time to try to make their way in and try to make friends/interact. I had those same doubts. So I want to be able to put things out there for those people in the crowd to be able to find amidst everything else on the off-chance that they might be in my own shoes when I first stumbled into it.
I'm proud of how far I've come, even if I've had my set-backs, and complained, and deal with anon hate and trolls on tumblr. I'm to the point where I can say that I'm happy to be able to express my passions and share that love of it with others. That's always been an important part of myself, and over the last year, a lot of guilt has withdrawn. I've been able to do art from sketches to finished pieces, commissions, tried new things, written stories, RPs, and continue to persevere in this little under-appreciated niche.
I'm even working on my first ongoing vore series in writing now. In the past three or four days, I've managed to write fifty pages in wordpad. If that's no blaring sign of how strong my passion still burns for M/F vore after a year's time, I don't know what is.
This second year is about to start and I'm ready to move forward, keeping high hopes, and doing my best despite what might hold me back.
Thanks to everyone who has enjoyed any of my works, posts, and/or followed me or RPed with me, and contributed to the M/F side of things in the past year. I appreciate it a lot. You're part of what has made my experience worthwhile.
Posted by Humbug 9 years ago Report
Looking at the stats on your userpage, I'm pretty confident in saying you're getting a lot more attention than you think you are for your first year here. I know my first-year experience was WAY different, since 1) I was here in the early days of the 'Portal when there was almost no one here and 2) My art was terrible, but 200,000 pageviews, 1,300 comments received, and 2,600 favorites for as few as 52 submissions is really impressive. Even scaling for talent and overall user population, I didn't do nearly that well in my first three years (or really, until I opened up my Pred Quest interactive). I think if you give it a few years, you'll find that you might even be somewhat popular, and with as good as your art is, you may also awaken some folks into M/F stuff who otherwise might not have been. I mean, you bridged the "human" gap for me a bit, so this is speaking from experience.
And yeah. Trolls. You'll get those, but if you handle 'em well (Ignoring them if they're unreasonable or either explaining calmly why what they're saying is rude or joking around if they're not), you'll see them decrease significantly as time goes on. I used to get 'em all the time too, but now it's very rare. I think the key is confidence, which it sounds like you've developed a fair bit of. If you're confident, you're troll-proof. At least, in my fairly long Internet experience.
Regardless, glad you stuck around. I like most of what you post, and it's nice to have smart people active in the community, so for my part, I think you're a boon.
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Posted by Chameleonette 9 years ago Report
I think you misunderstand me a little bit, so allow me to clarify one thing in particular: I'm not really looking for popularity. If I was, I'd just draw female preds if that was my concern. It's great that people enjoy my work, but I'm really missing here is the community feeling and being a part of something. That's what I wanted to get across in what has been lacking for me. I love to share what I have and I'm incredibly grateful for the feedback and the people that enjoy what I have to do, but I can only really enjoy my own stuff to a certain point. And I haven't had anyone to really share drawing/story ideas with much, or step up with me to get more of this stuff out there. I hesitate to use the word lonely, since that's not exactly what it is, but... it's like there's somewhat of a wall. People enjoy my stuff, which I'm happy for, but connecting with people is very difficult. I have met other M/F fans along the way who just aren't comfortable with their interest, tell me they're afraid of being looked down on in the community, or just don't frequent Eka's/aren't very active. That's where I'm reaching the barrier that I can't seem to cross. I can chat a little in the comment sections from time to time or in the few threads I delve in on the forums, but lasting connections have been difficult. Most of the few that I had made were lost when said people disappeared or simply dropped contact.
My apologies for the wall of text, but I just wanted to clarify that I'm not at all complaining about the warm reception for what I've had to share, particularly with my art. It's the feeling of belonging that's missing. It's the attempts of trying to be a part of the community and not clicking into the already tightly-knit groups and friends that exist within it, or the sort that gravitate immediately to more preferred preferences that discourages me. I do want to encourage others like myself to be more open and embrace an interest in it if they have it, but the most I can do is encourage that with my own works and words. Like I said, I have met some pretty awesome people here and there have been those who have told me they enjoyed something of an M/F nature in my work, but it's rare that someone actually has the same preferences - it falls more to "I like that somewhat, but I like this better" and that reaches the disconnect point.
But I appreciate what you've said, nonetheless, thank you. I'm glad to still be around. The trolls don't bother me as much now. They annoy me sometimes, but it's not to any point that I'd let it affect what I do. If anything, they can pat themselves on the back for just making me want to work even harder at expressing and sharing what I do. : )
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Posted by Humbug 9 years ago Report
Ah! Okay. That makes sense, yeah. As much as everyone likes to say, "I like for their personality!" those sorts of bonds rarely form across preference lines. Every now and then, but it's rare, and if you're just about the only person producing the material in your specific niche, it's going to be hard to find others to get that initial "spark" between and form a real bond with.
I'd love to say, "Keep at it, and eventually people will join you," but I have no evidence at all to back that up. I started posting stuff because I wanted to inspire people to draw, like, Looney Tunes and stuff in their vore material, but I wound up being just about the sole supplier for that niche. I hope your experience, given that it's a broader subject, is not the same.
Coincidentally, I'm working on an M/MultipleF piece right now, but it's furry, which I know you're not into. Preferences can be a real wall sometimes. XD
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Posted by Chameleonette 9 years ago Report
I have talked to some people outside of the site, but it's more of an 'acquaintance' type of thing than having really made any friends. Part of it might be because I don't instantly warm up to people, but I think a lot of it really has to do with that disconnect. I'm definitely not the only person contributing to M/F vore, by any means---I'd never claim such a thing. But it's not the area of vore that a lot of content gets put into, to say the least. I've always had trouble trying to fit in, so part of it is probably just myself, as well. I haven't really felt that 'spark' at all. I can carry on polite conversation with just about anyone, but if there's no connect, what can you do?
I've been told that before, actually. And some people have come out of the woodwork since I first joined, but it seems still that most people don't want to delve into something they feel they aren't going to get a lot of recognition for. I get messages a lot telling me that I'd be popular if I did female preds - they seem to think that popularity is what everyone is looking for and wants. And in some cases, I imagine that's true. And while I'm not a sole supplier, between me and a couple of others out there, we're doing what we can, but I can't say that I have high hopes. That said, I'm not about to conform or change my own preferences/interests just to try to get into the community more. That would be a betrayal to myself and everything I stand for.
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Posted by Humbug 9 years ago Report
Right. You'd just burn out if you didn't post what you were passionate about. I'd never advocate you do anything else; I do the same thing with my stuff, and the result is that my audience rarely holds illusions about what I'm willing and not willing to do.
I do hope you wind up hitting it off with some people of similar interests, though. I met some of my best friends through this website. Be nice if you could have a similar experience.
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Posted by Chameleonette 9 years ago Report
Thanks, I appreciate it. : ) I might try a post here on my blog about preferences and interests and see if that sparks up any potential conversation or the like, and see where it could go from there. Now that I feel I haven't had much success on that front in my first year here, I want to double my efforts for this year.
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Posted by Humbug 9 years ago Report
Whatever you decide to do, I wish you luck!
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Posted by Moebius 9 years ago Report
Maybe a little late, but I just read it XD
I must say I'm really glad you join this site that year ago, your art is easly one of my favorites in the whole site and the commission you made for Drey fills an special place in my hearth <3
I hope to be reading your review the next year ;3
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Posted by Chameleonette 9 years ago Report
Aww, thank you so much! I'm really honored. And I'm glad I've been able to meet you and others here, as well. It's worth all the crap that happens in-between. (I'm happy that you enjoyed the commission, too!)
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