Just writing this for fun before I go to work, but I've been thinking about just how ridiculous Samantha's life is if you consider character motivations of people around her canon all at once.
She has a self-proclaimed rival, Gertrude, who fully intends to devour her, and who frequently gets drunk or angry. She eats people when she's drunk or angry.
She has a secretary, Ethel, who wants to eat her to free up her position, and whose favorite food is housecats.
Because her best friend Alexis started hanging out with Clyde and Catharine, Samantha got pulled into that friend group. Clyde wants Catharine to eat her 'cuz it'd be hot. Catharine's an adventurous girl. Clyde plans on eating Alexis himself.
Depending on canon, she has a boyfriend, Damien, or a...
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