My girlfriend is into vore and roleplays with others[CLOSED]

[NeedHelp]

My girlfriend and I have been going out for almost a year, and I found out she was into vore about 2 or more months ago and accepted it, and I support her with it and do vore-ish rp things with her. I recently found out that she does vore rp with others, and I'm unsure how to think about it (She has also have done smut with others, but I talked to her about that).
I think of Rp as, one person playing a role in a character. I can't help but think that emotions are the same for the Rp-er and the ccharacter. So when she does acts with flirty, or sexual actions, that she "means it" outside of Rp (and if you think this way, it hurts to see that kind of actions.......)
I just really don't know how to act upon this situation, please help?

[Saftkeur]

I can't speak for your girlfriend, as RP can be different for everyone. But therein is my main point: RP can be different for everyone. For me, I see it as more of a collaborative writing process; the characters I write and play get into scenarios I enjoy, but they aren't me. (I play as a pred most often, for example, but I don't like to imagine myself in that same role, or share their views or emotions; I just like to write that side of the story.) Others do like to play as self-insert characters, or even forego the character entirely and just play as a fantasy version of themselves, but it all depends on personal preference.

Maybe talk about it with her if it makes you uncomfortable, but I'd recommend not jumping to conclusions about why she likes it or what it "means" to your relationship. If vore/smut RPs are something she enjoys as a writing hobby, you wouldn't want to take that away from her simply because it feels too real to you. On the flip side, maybe it does mean something more; again, I'd just suggest talking it over, and trying not to let it come across as an accusation or an ultimatum. Give her an opportunity to reassure you on it or find some way to make things more comfortable for you.

In the end, vore is already purely fantasy, and likewise with most RP (pretty much anything that's outside of the bedroom). I'm not an expert on this sort of subject, but I wouldn't be worried. Yes, maybe uncomfortable anyway, but it's important to sort out whether or not it's something more or simply your own perspective.

[Marauder]

Saftkeur, to be fair so is flirting, sexting and a bunch of other things. It's mostly fantasy and two people playing around and doesn't necessarily always lead to people physically cheating on their partner. Vore is a fetish, most fetishes are sexual in natur, yes there's exceptions but given she was also doing smut stuff and other things I don't think it's not sexual for her.

Yes people are free to engage in this kind of thing, even people in relationships as long as their partners are okay with it or often even doing the same. It's a bit different when they're not. He doesn't have the right to stop her but neither does he have the right to keep her from sleeping with other guys. What ultimatively matters are his feelings and only his feelings on this subject. Can he accept her engaging in virtual fetish encounters to whom she might get off or can her not. If he can't his choice is obvious.

Imagine you'd find our your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/whatever is writing flirtatious messages to others, engaging in sexting and all kind of other things. Bot of them possibly getting off on it. Whether on judges this cheating or a pretext to cheating is up to the other spouse, not the spouse who's engaging in it. As is how to handle this situation. Because if he can't handle it and stays with her, he's going to be the one negatively affected by it.

What I find questionable is people doing these things without telling their partner, one could argue that they "didn't think anything of it" but the vast mayority of people are nowhere near that naive. If they don't tell, they usually do it for a reason, ranging from believing the partner might not accept it/be okay with it to not wanting to give the partnet equal freedoms.

[Reiku]

I feel for your situation man. I don't know how much more advice I can give beyond what people before me have, but as someone who's been on all sides of this issue ( in one way or another ) Trying to get someone to quit a fetish, or quit expressing themselves through it, never ends well. I think the best you can do is have a serious conversation with her, don't be judgmental, just be honest about what you're concerned about, that it might be serious in some way.

Personally, I like to think of RPing and whatnot is "Co-Authoring porn" Nothing emotional there, just two people using words to fulfill their own fetishes.

Best of luck with this. Let us know how things turn out, and if you need mroe advice, we'll be around.

[Marauder]

Reiku to be fair, it's not quitting her fetish. Pretty much everyone has all kind of fetishes whether realistic or not. His issue seems to be mostly with her engaging in her fetishes outside of the relationship. Which is a different pony entirely.

[Sabervore]

Judging from your words "I do not know what to think" leads me to believe that you have not spoken to her and heard her side of the story. Any and all relationships rely upon communication to form a closer bond between two individuals. My suggestion, if you'll have it, is to be open and sincere with her.

Be very careful not to judge or project your thoughts on her answers. Do not ask "Is Vore RP-ing with someone else a sexual thing for you? If so, why do you do it?" Rather allow yourself to see things from her point of view "When you RP with others, what do you feel?" "What about RP-ing with others do you find appealing?"

Then share what you think her RP-ing means. "When you RP I feel/think/believe". Talk it out and see if you cannot come to some form of common ground. If all else fails, then realistically you are left with two options:

1) Ask her to stop; She either stops in order to avoid hurting you or she cannot and your relationship goes sour
2) You deal with it; She continues to be happy while you secretly "hate" her for her actions and your relationship goes sour.

P.S. Remember that if your relationship does go sour, it merely means that you two were not compatible with each other. This is also ok and perhaps you can still remain friends or try again when both of you have changed a bit Hope this helps.

[knifesmile]

Sabervore gives excellent advice. Pretty much what I was going to say.

[Ka-Atis]

Saftkeur and Reiku are right. Before jumping on any conclusions, it's very important to be aware of that - To many of us, myself included, and so possibly also your girlfriend, roleplay is nothing more than writing a story. The *characters* are not the *authors*, and only the characters are the ones with sex-appeal, while the authors are neutral, just the creators of those characters. There's nothing sex or flirting going on between the authors themselves.

Then there are even those who are not into vore as something sexual at all, it's just something intriguing or fascinating.

Sure, there are those who do cybering, and I cannot rule out that your girlfriend is actually doing that, but it can quite as well be not the case. So approaching this with careful questions, something like what Sabervore suggested, seems the first step to do.

Good luck :)

1) Ask her to stop; She either stops in order to avoid hurting you or she cannot and your relationship goes sour
2) You deal with it; She continues to be happy while you secretly "hate" her for her actions and your relationship goes sour.

3) Don't ask her to stop. It's just story writing anyway. No big deal.

[emilyvore]

Standard disclaimer that very few people on this site, if any, are licensed couples therapists and you should take all of this with a grain of salt. But here's my opinion and experience.

I have done this exact thing. My boyfriend at the time was fully accepting and actually was into vore as well. Sometimes we would share RPs and stuff, even with sexual content, and even with me playing "myself." But ultimately, we both knew that these RPs were simply fantasy, and more importantly, played out with people I didn't know in real life, and had no interest in ever meeting. So for us, it wasn't a big deal. Vore isn't a fetish that can be satisfied in real life, so I feel like most people who are into it get used to dealing with it through images and roleplay. It doesn't feel intimate, even if it is sexual. I don't think of my roleplay partners the same way that I would a boyfriend or even someone I'm having casual sex with. I barely even imagine what the person behind the character might be like. Hell, I play with female characters who are clearly dudes behind the screen and I don't give a shit. It's all about the characters and the fantasy. It's closer to porn and entertainment than real human connection, and that can be hard to see if you're not someone who has had this fetish your whole life.

In the same vein, while it's great that you roleplay with her and I'm sure you're not doing anything wrong, it's probably not the same. As someone who has brought up vore RP in a relationship with someone who wasn't into it, it's not exactly a comfortable situation. It's really easy to tell that you're not turned on by it, and even though it's a nice gesture, I'd rather not worry about crossing lines. With the more extreme tastes, I'd rather bring them up in an RP on Eka's with some nameless character that I don't have to have a relationship with. But if I were your girlfriend, and in an RP I brought up <insert your limit here>, it could offend you or gross you out, and I'd rather not let some stupid fetish get in the way of a relationship. Ultimately for me, regular sex is enough, vore an unnecessary added bonus. It's just not worth the slight benefit to risk bringing up something that grosses a guy out.

And, as an aside, vore RPs tend to be better for me when the partner is excited about bringing ideas to the table. The stories tend to get stale if you don't play with someone who has slightly different tastes, whether more extreme or just different. And playing with someone who just isn't into vore in the first place isn't going to have that air of surprise and collaboration. If you're not actually into it, you're not going to apply that smutty imagination, and it won't be as real an experience. This isn't your fault, of course -- it's just that most people who are into vore have been looking up content since they were about 13. For me, that's nine years now. A boyfriend who just heard about vore isn't going to be able to RP with me as well as someone who's been into this their whole life, just like it's gonna be difficult to talk in-depth about Shakespeare with someone who only just received a copy of Romeo & Juliet. Not that vore is the same quality, but you get the idea.

Basically, this isn't just a simple addition to normal sex, like handcuffing someone to a bedpost. It's somewhere between a culture, a lifestyle, a fandom, and a writing/art exchange club. If you're not the type of person who remembers hunting down the works of artists like Karbo and Hiphugger and Taito eight years ago, and if you don't know the odd feeling of loss that comes with your favorite YouTube video getting taken down, and if you haven't seen the comments under all your favorite smut on DeviantArt saying "what the fuck this is so weird" and worried about whether you'll ever truly be normal, then I really doubt you're going to be able to fully understand and interact with your girlfriend's fetish. This isn't something that's your fault, though, and you shouldn't feel pressured to "fix it" by delving into something that doesn't turn you on. That doesn't end well.


Anyway, with that said, this still does make you uncomfortable, so you should probably discuss it with her. Make sure to be clear about what's bothering you and why, so that she can put to rest any fears that you might not realize are irrational. Don't expect her to change completely, either. It might be that you compromise -- I'm usually open about being female during rp, and as I said before, sometimes I play as me. But I always leave a clear boundary where I'm not gonna meet my RP partners, I won't do skype, and when I was in a relationship, I told them that just so they'd back off. If this is the case with her, maybe some of that would make you more comfortable. She could share RPs with you if you're both okay with that, and this would have the added bonus of helping you with ideas on how to roleplay with her and what she likes. That depends on how far you want to go, though.

Hope everything goes well.

[Chameleonette]

I definitely think that you should talk to her. And while a lot of people have made good points about why it's not a "problem", I actually respectfully disagree.

Honestly, if I put myself into your shoes, I would be upset too. It would make me feel like I'm not giving enough to my partner and they need to seek satisfaction somewhere else. And I think it's a little bit naive to assume "it's just a fantasy so it's okay". On some levels, sure, but let's face it: Most people that are into vore are into it for some form of sexual gratification. Not all, mind you, which is why I think you should talk to her about it. And that's especially because, as you said, you're already playing into her fantasies and wants, yourself. I can't really fathom why she's turning elsewhere when she has you already.

I do think that those sorts of things can definitely hurt and strain a relationship, though. I've always felt that once you have something real, you shouldn't need the fantasies so much to sustain you. You have a living, breathing person right there to meet your needs and who cares for you. And while there's nothing wrong with indulging in fun and fantasies from time to time, I don't think that RPing sex and sexual kinks with strangers is good for any relationship.

I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that she "means" the flirting and other things, but I can completely understand why it upsets you and sympathize with that. I think you should tell her how you feel about it, because your feelings are just as valid as hers. And I really don't think that kind of behavior is good for a relationship unless both people are completely open and okay with it---which you clearly are not. Tell her how you feel, be honest and open about it. And hopefully she'll do the same with you.

[XDDX]

I enjoy roleplaying and writing and making characters and vore and yes, I'll act "flirty" and whatever and vore and sexy and all that stuff and yes, it's sometimes arousing and great but that doesn't mean I am or going to start cheating lol. How would that even work?

Obviously I can't speak for your girlfriend and I can see how that would cause you to think this way (I had that talk as well) but yeah, there's the thing. Go talk about it =x

[knifesmile]

I can't really fathom why she's turning elsewhere when she has you already.

Please don't take offense at my saying this, because I don't mean this as an insult at all, but IMO this is a naive view of the situation. It doesn't sound like you've ever actually been in a truly long term relationship. Speaking as someone who has, the whole idea that 'she has you already so she shouldn't need to go anywhere else' is - again, I mean no personal disrespect in saying this - but, well, it's BS. I'm not a licensed couples therapist, no, but I am a person who's been in a long term real-life relationship for about eight years, and I've observed plenty of other long-term relationships, and failed relationships. Even in the best relationships that last entire lifetimes, nobody gets everything they need out of life from their partner. NOBODY. I'm poly myself, but I've had some extremely eagle-like devoted monogamists as close friends, and it's just as true for them. EVERYBODY has friends and activities outside their primary relationship. Now, this goes farther for some couples than others. Like I said, I'm poly, so my relationship is a lot more open than that of most monogamous people. But as a general principle it is 100% fact and it applies to nonsexual stuff too. For example I like to RP but my partner isn't that into it. I don't mean, like, vore/kink RP. I mean ANY kind of RP at all. So I have to go RP with other people if I want RP to be something I do, at all, in my life. There's nothing wrong with that, just like there's nothing wrong with the fact that he listens to girly pop music and I listen to brutal loud music with lots of electric guitars and anger. :p

The simple plain reality is that you can love someone very much and want to spend your life with them without sharing every single one of their interests and tastes. And as mature adults you have to find a way to deal with that. You can't get mad just because of the simple fact that they have an interest that you don't and, because you don't share it, are seeking to express that interest with other people. That's frankly, IMO, selfish and unfair to your partner. If you had a pre-existing agreement not to do things like that and she violated it, then you'd have a right to be annoyed, but at this stage it's way too early to be getting ruffled.

I do understand WHY the OP feels ruffled, mind you. Emotions are not rational. They do not give a damn what's realistic or selfish or unfair. Emotions just are what they are and do what they do. But that's exactly why it's important to keep an eye on your emotions, realize when they may not be appropriate (or at least not conducive to the result you want to achieve in the situation) and keep them in check accordingly.

With that said, I DO agree that mutual consent is critical with any kind of sexual sharing in the relationship, and if you're sensitive enough (again, not trying to diss in using that word, just that for some people this sort of thing matters more than to other people) that RPing sexual ideas with other people 'feels' the same as cheating, then it definitely needs to be discussed. In fact it will probably need to be discussed multiple times, in different moods and settings, before you two really work out a way to handle the issue that suits both of you. It may well turn out that, for the OP's particular relationship, once they've discussed it and worked on the issue. it is in fact best for the OP's girlfriend not to engage in that kind of RP with other people. Or it may turn out that your feelings about the issue change once you've talked to her. Or she may not even WANT to do it anymore once she hears that it upsets you - it may become a nonissue the minute you raise it. That's how relationships are.

But I strongly, STRONGLY advise against the whole "you have me so you shouldn't need anyone else" attitude, because it's totally unrealistic and will only cause conflict between you two. Instead, you need to acknowledge that both of you have needs that simply will not be satisfied by the other person, and how you two are going to handle that fact without letting it destroy your relationship. That's the important part. It doesn't matter so much how you handle the problem as that you do the work to handle it, in a loving and accepting way, with your partner. If you two are compatible you will find a way to make it work, and the process of figuring it out may even draw you closer together as she sees your devotion to her in your desire to be able to satisfy more of her needs, and you see her devotion to you in her willingness to work out the issue and perhaps set aside something she enjoys for the sake of mutually building a more satisfying relationship.

EDIT: I do want to add that the whole 'emotions are irrational' thing is another normal aspect of any relationship. This kind of thing will happen. It may even happen fairly often. One of you will do something that you see as totally innocent and the other will be upset by it for some reason. It may seem totally unreasonable to the first person, but the second person's feelings are what they are and will need to be dealt with somehow. Vore RP isn't the only time you're going to encounter this general sort of problem, and it won't always be you being the one feeling offended/hurt/however you would characterize your emotions right now (I don't want to speak for you on that point). Working on the RP issue will help you build more general relationship skills that you'll be able to apply the next time something along these lines comes up.

I also want to emphasize strongly that not all relationship problems can be "resolved". Sometimes you encounter an issue on which you two just can't compromise. I want to loudly and clearly state that THAT IS OKAY! Two people can be in love without agreeing on everything or being able to compromise on everything. Sometimes, the best thing to do is simply accept that you and your partner are different in some ways. People in lasting relationships don't always fix every problem they have or work out every issue, but they do at least get to a place where each can accept the other for who they are. That's the goal to strive for. And sometimes that's just not possible. Sometimes two people love each other very much, but they just aren't compatible enough to be in a romantic relationship for life. And you know what? As painful as that can be (and I've been there too; I think most of us have) that's OK, too. It's not fun, but it's better to come to that conclusion mutually and calmly in the course of working together rather than try to force things to work and eventually have it all burst into flames and come down in a bad, ugly way. This kind of thing is difficult, for sure, but it can be done. People do it all the time, every day, and over much more serious problems. You can do it, OP. You'll be OK.

[Chameleonette]

I never said that they shouldn't need anyone else or need everything from their partner or even vaguely implied it. Please don't put words in my mouth. That was specifically in terms of the vore RP/play, if that wasn't clear enough. He said that he supports her and does vorish things with her and RP, so yes, I don't see why she needs those sexual RPs with other people in that case. He's perfectly willing to cater to it and engage with her in those things. It's not a case of her not having the outlet. And it has nothing to do with her having friends or other support. It's just my view on the matter. I don't think he would be upset and asking for help if he wasn't worried that something was little amiss.

Also, why you're bringing my personal experiences (which you know nothing about) and making assumptions about me through what I said is really uncalled for and I do not appreciate it. You know nothing about my life. For your information, I had a 12 year relationship, which trumps your 8. My point here is that those things CAN potentially be harmful to a relationship when both people in that relationship are not alright with what is going on and have not come to an understanding.

The thing to take into account here is that everyone's experiences and relationships are different. I urged them to talk to her. Just because you had a long relationship that worked under certain circumstances does not mean it's the same for everyone else. He needs to find what works for the two of them and their relationship. We're ultimately giving suggestions and advice. No one is really "right" or "wrong" here.

[DrCaius]

OP. Sorry, this is in your control. I've lived with this and other fetish related relationship issues (and therapy) for years. She's living out a fantasy with others because she can't (or won't) do it with you.
Your post seems to suggest that you're not a vorephile.
Vore is a fetish, it's part of her and won't go away. Though it may diminish or increase in importance to her over time. If someone can't get onboard or embrace the other's fetish then it's not a dealbreaker, but for it to work they need to be 100% supportive whatever it takes. If you are genuinely interested in RPing with her then maybe she'll only want to RP with you. But only do it if you're genuinely passionate about exploring the fetish.
If you have tried to RP with her and she still wants to engage with others, then you need to consider whether you would be happy with a sexually open relationship to allow your partner to express herself. That includes allowing her to flirt with others online... or more.
If not, it may be time to consider whether this relationship is right for you. Whatever you do, don't try to change her, that always ends badly.

Sorry to be brutally honest. I hope it works out, and maybe you even find some vore that you like one day.

(BTW, incredibly jealous that you found a partner who's into vore by luck. I hope you make super cute kids... and don't eat them...)

[ryanshowseason3]

I never said that they shouldn't need anyone else or need everything from their partner or even vaguely implied it.

I can't really fathom why she's turning elsewhere when she has you already.
...

I don't think that RPing sex and sexual kinks with strangers is good for any relationship.

...

In your own words.

I actually respectfully disagree.

That you did imply such. You sometimes speak in absolutes which seldom applies to all. Careful of that.

But that's neither here nor there. Let's face it. Can someone not versed in the fetish hope to fully satisfy someone who is?

It's like having a chef without taste buds try to cook you the most delicious meal. You can get by but you'll always salivate for better.

Expecting one person to fulfill your every desire and fantasy is often the belief of the incredibly naive.

This isn't a disney fairy tale it's life, your spouse may lust after others, they might develop secret crushes on some.

Me and mine though have committed that we're the ones that we'll always come home to though even if we develop frivolous flights of fantasy in our heads. We accept that attractions will happen and we need not feel guilty about them.

The admission of imperfection keeps us happy and together. I highly recommend it for those it seems attractive to. I'd recommend it to the OP as well, but this is certainly something that needs discussed. Me and mine didn't get to where we are without a lot of discussions (and fighting ). Wouldn't trade it for the world though (or even RL consequence-less vore )

*tips hat*

[Ghrelin]

kink role-playing is no more personal than watching porn, and serves the same purpose. a person's sexuality doesn't come to a screeching halt the moment they enter a relationship. no matter how much you might love someone, it's only natural to have wants and needs that they can't always fulfill.
the only way to work through these insecurities is to talk them out in depth. i don't recommend settling with "this makes me feel insecure so you should stop", either. work on figuring out exactly why you feel this way about it, get her side of things, find common ground, and go from there.

[knifesmile]

I never said that they shouldn't need anyone else or need everything from their partner or even vaguely implied it.

Maybe you should go re-read your own post. Someone else already pointed out precisely where you did, in fact, state this, so I won't repeat it. But please don't bristle your hackles at me. I went out of my way to make it clear that I was not personally criticizing you, so your defensive reaction is unnecessary.

Also, why you're bringing my personal experiences (which you know nothing about) and making assumptions about me through what I said is really uncalled for and I do not appreciate it. You know nothing about my life. For your information, I had a 12 year relationship, which trumps your 8. My point here is that those things CAN potentially be harmful to a relationship when both people in that relationship are not alright with what is going on and have not come to an understanding.

Again, perhaps you should re-read what I wrote. I never said a thing about your actual experiences. I said it SOUNDED like you may have never been in a long-term relationship. 'Sounded' is a key word, there. It turns the sentence into a statement of opinion about what you -wrote-. Which is how you came across to me. It still -sounds- like something an inexperienced and romantically minded person would say, in my opinion. I'm glad you've had such a long-term relationship. It's not a pissing contest. But your actual experiences are 100% irrelevant to the point I was making. I was talking about what you -said- and disagreeing with it based on my own experiences. I made no assumptions about you, nor did I claim to know anything about your life. I made a statement of opinion about what you -wrote- and then made a counter-argument drawing on my own life experience.

I did my best to cordially disagree, and you went out of your way to turn that into an argument. I'm sorry my efforts weren't good enough. Perhaps I should have specifically stated, "I am talking about myself alone and not intentionally drawing comparison with anyone else" after every single sentence. Or do you just filter out qualifiers no matter how prevalent or strong and zero right in on the words and ideas that trigger you emotionally? That's sure how it comes across being on the receiving end.

You might want to consider slowing down and thinking things through more. You have a habit of making absolutist statements, and of not picking up on subtleties and nuance, from what I've seen so far in this thread. You are clearly an intelligent person, so I would tend to interpret this as a sign of hastiness and of emotions dominating the intellect. In brief: Calm down and READ what I said before you blow up at me, please. I never resent someone getting angry at me when I deserve it, but I went WAY out of my way to make it clear that I was not trying to insult or attack you on a personal level. If you have this much problem with your ideas being challenged, perhaps you shouldn't indulge in debate. Just suggestions - take them or leave them as you will.

The thing to take into account here is that everyone's experiences and relationships are different. I urged them to talk to her. Just because you had a long relationship that worked under certain circumstances does not mean it's the same for everyone else. He needs to find what works for the two of them and their relationship. We're ultimately giving suggestions and advice. No one is really "right" or "wrong" here.

Which is exactly what I said. More long-windedly, perhaps - conciseness is not my strong point - but that was the essence of my point. My whole post essentially boiled down to 'You don't know enough yet, you need to go to her to find out more and work out with her, together, what's best for you two and your relationship'. If you'd actually read my post in its entirety, you would know that.

[coop500]

In a attempt to add some lighter colors to this thread....

(BTW, incredibly jealous that you found a partner who's into vore by luck. I hope you make super cute kids... and don't eat them...)

But kids are so nom-able! Lol.

[Chameleonette]

@Ryan - You're taking that out of context when I already clarified what I meant---in the sexual and sexual RP sense with other people, not in a way that implies or suggests that they ONLY need each other and no one else for anything. Heaven knows that's an unhealthy way to approach things and I would never say anyone should strive for that.

All that it is, as I said with "I think" and "I don't think", is my opinion.

@knifesmile - You did make it personal by singling my post out and implying that you knew better because of your own experiences and your perceived lack of mine. I repeat this again and again, but as I said: People are different with different experiences. We have different opinions. And my original post was talking to the OP, not to you. I have no desire to argue with you. I said I don't appreciate what you said and I don't---perfectly cordial, no insults, no getting emotional or angry. I never "blew up" at you. We have different experiences and different lives. I have seen these types of things with "harmless RP", "harmless emails", "harmless texting" destroy relationships and have been in the middle between two friends with one, where one party admitted that the fun they were having with RP/talking to another person was making them not want to spend as much time with their significant other, but at the same time, did not want to break up with them or even discuss it. Hence why I don't think OP's feelings on this matter are unfounded and that he should definitely talk it out with his girlfriend and find out where they stand. Just because you and others have had good experiences and good relationships with that sort of thing does not mean that everyone does. That's all that I'm trying to communicate to OP here. I don't think it's good thing to do, personally, but I would not tell anyone to change their ways or their lives or their relationships, which are clearly their business. I'm only giving OP my advice and my thoughts on the matter. No more, no less. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Marauder]

And I'm back in this thread again. Goddamnit I wanted to stay out of it.

First of all, calling people "naive" or similar things because they hold differing opinion on things is a low blow. It from the get go assumes one's personal feelings and interpretations on the matter are sound, logical and universal. When it comes to relationships, this isn't true at all. Most people do tend to assume that a relationship is exclusive, yes there's exceptions and other forms of relationships but the monogamous one is still the most common and thus universally expected norm. Thinking that one's moving away from this towards a more open relationship is "the adult thing" and "the right thing" to do is simply wrong. Following the same argumentation one could assume that increasingly loose aswell as extreme form of relationships would be the norm as one grows ever more experienced and open.

Having gotten that out of the way. Saying he can't satisfy her "vore fetish" or implying he was trying to forbid her from having it is ludicrous. There is literally nobody in the world who could satisfy mine, as there's no way to actually get my hand on tiny women and even if there was I wouldn't indulge in it for obvious reasons. The absolute mayority of vore and vore related things is purely fictional. It does not require a partner albeit some enjoy engaging in RP with others, many others and I'd wager the mayority never do. The mayority tends to be passive consumers in general and even many of the active do not actively RP. Which means he can satisfy such a fetish in the same way anyone else can or can't and that engaging with others is by no means required nor a necessity.

Another important point many seem to overlook is that she did tell him about other virtual activities she was engaging in and ending when they got together. Because she herself viewed them as outside their covenant. Yet she kept carrying on sexualized vore RP in secret. Something she never told him about DESPITE telling him about her fetish and other sexual online activities which she ended. One should ask themselves why this is, as their relationship seems to be ultimatively a monogamous and not an open one. Her choice and behaviour here is questionable, it's a breach of trust at the very least and depending upon his ultimative conclusion infidelity. Whether she views it as infidelity, given her behaviour one might think she on some level does, or not doesn't matter. It's whether he does.