Zombie Slave's Vore Stories (update 04-23-2015)
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This section is for any artist, writer, animator, or any form of creation to share their work in order to receive comment to improve themselves better.
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This section is for any artist, writer, animator, or any form of creation to share their work in order to receive comment to improve themselves better.
Read the rules in detail here
Read the Critiquing suggestion here
Please open only one thread per person. Detail here.
Re: Zombie Slave's Vore Stories
Any comments about my latest story? Even if it's bad, that's okay. I'm looking for what works or doesn't work for future stories. Thx!
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Zombie_Slave - Advanced Vorarephile
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Re: Zombie Slave's Vore Stories
I definitely enjoyed it.
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Vorefreak - Somewhat familiar
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Re: Zombie Slave's Vore Stories
Zombie_Slave wrote:Any comments about my latest story? Even if it's bad, that's okay. I'm looking for what works or doesn't work for future stories. Thx!
*sniffle* it's beautiful
Seriously though it was great. One of the best stories I've ever read
- antonio
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Re: Zombie Slave's Vore Stories
Thanks Vorefreak. Thanks Antonio.
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Zombie_Slave - Advanced Vorarephile
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Re: Zombie Slave's Vore Stories
I just read "The Sudden Obsession." Good grief, that's the sexiest lead-up to vore I've ever read. Holy crap! Dude, your writing skills are seriously amazing.
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ElPortero - Advanced Vorarephile
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Re: Zombie Slave's Vore Stories
Zombie_Slave wrote:Any comments about my latest story? Even if it's bad, that's okay. I'm looking for what works or doesn't work for future stories. Thx!
"The Sudden Obsession is defenetly going to one of mine ultimate favorite. From start to finish this story is just wow, , This story just set it straight how vore stories (let alone wanbe stories) should be written this single handedly made 90-95% of all stories on here sound like bad or utter crap. This story defenetly proves that what vore stores should focus on. That vore is the ultimate sexual act and your writing skills helps defnine these points as it very very hard to disagree with the latest comment by ElPortero:"that's the sexiest lead-up to vore I've ever read. Holy crap! Dude, your writing skills are seriously amazing"
You should defenetly write more based on this particular pred Tamika she is amazing and more same size vore . If you want more thoughtful response and maybe new plot ides, I could sent you a pm as I don't want spoil the fun for everyone.
- Gypa
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Re: Zombie Slave's Vore Stories
Thanks ElPortero, I'm really glad you enjoyed the story. I had a lot of fun writing it for sure. Did you like the format of the PDF? Was it easier to read than a typical forum entry? I'm thinking of posting future stories like this.
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Zombie_Slave - Advanced Vorarephile
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Re: Zombie Slave's Vore Stories
Thanks for your comments Gypa. I appreciate you taking the time to comment. Feel free to pm me if you'd like, I love discussing vore. I don't typically write about same-size swallowing so I'm glad some people enjoyed this one.
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Zombie_Slave - Advanced Vorarephile
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Re: Zombie Slave's Vore Stories
Zombie_Slave wrote:Thanks ElPortero, I'm really glad you enjoyed the story. I had a lot of fun writing it for sure. Did you like the format of the PDF? Was it easier to read than a typical forum entry? I'm thinking of posting future stories like this.
I can only speak for myself but i perfered the PDF format. I hope I can pm soon but RL is busy at the moment.
- Gypa
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Re: Zombie Slave's Vore Stories
Zombie_Slave wrote:Thanks ElPortero, I'm really glad you enjoyed the story. I had a lot of fun writing it for sure. Did you like the format of the PDF? Was it easier to read than a typical forum entry? I'm thinking of posting future stories like this.
It was so much better. If it was a format that worked well for you, please make a trend of it. I made the stories on my website download-able as HTML files to solve this problem for me, but in the forum setting, it seems the PDF is the perfect solution. Large blocks of forum text get hard on the eyes very quickly, but this made your story even more of a pleasure to read.
And seriously, you could have taken out all the ending vore in it and I'd still be praising you as a genius. You captured that longing, almost hurting, desire so perfectly. Sexiest thing I've read in ages. You deserve some sort of award. Hopefully my envy is enough.
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ElPortero - Advanced Vorarephile
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Re: Zombie Slave's Vore Stories
New story, a return to shrinkies. Took a slightly different approach to the writing style with this one. Hope you enjoy.
The Cake by Zombie Slave
Vanessa loved her job as a secretary at the research lab, that is, before the accident which shrunk her down to half an inch tall. Now terrified, hungry, and alone, Vanessa has to get the attention of someone in order to be rescued. But she hasn't eaten in days and the giant slice of cake in front of her is too tempting to pass up.
The Cake by Zombie Slave
Vanessa loved her job as a secretary at the research lab, that is, before the accident which shrunk her down to half an inch tall. Now terrified, hungry, and alone, Vanessa has to get the attention of someone in order to be rescued. But she hasn't eaten in days and the giant slice of cake in front of her is too tempting to pass up.
- Attachments
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- Cake.pdf
- (178.32 KiB) Downloaded 1021 times
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Zombie_Slave - Advanced Vorarephile
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Re: Zombie Slave's Vore Stories
Obviously not my food, but this was a good read, very well written, with some nice action bits, and things that made sense in the characterization department. Thank you for it.
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Star_Sage - Advanced Vorarephile
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Re: Zombie Slave's Vore Stories
I love how you were able to navigate a lot of standard story ideas by actually giving them a logical explanation. Usually I'm looking at the actions of tiny characters trying to be discovered and thinking, "Who the hell would do that?" But I could actually follow your character's thoughts pretty logically. Well done!
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ElPortero - Advanced Vorarephile
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Re: Zombie Slave's Vore Stories
Thanks Star_sage, maybe someday I'll do a burger story. It's probably only a matter of time.
Thanks ElPortero. When you know a character is going to be eaten, it's not always easy to steer the plot in that direction. It's really tough to make it plausible. I do the best I can and have fun with it.
Thanks ElPortero. When you know a character is going to be eaten, it's not always easy to steer the plot in that direction. It's really tough to make it plausible. I do the best I can and have fun with it.
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Zombie_Slave - Advanced Vorarephile
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Re: Zombie Slave's Vore Stories
Another new story I finally got around to finishing. Hope you enjoy. This one's long, about 11,000 words, 30 page PDF but don't let that deter you. I use big font and wide margins For those who like body exploration, when stories don't just stop after someone is swallowed, you may like this.
The Favor by Zombie Slave
Tiffany loves working for Olivia as a model for Olivia's adult website. But getting hired on as one of Olivia's girls came with a price. When Olivia demands payment, Tiffany is shocked to discover her boss has a fetish...for shrinking and eating tiny people. Tiffany's day takes an insane turn as she becomes intimately familiar with her boss's body's inner workings.
The Favor by Zombie Slave
Tiffany loves working for Olivia as a model for Olivia's adult website. But getting hired on as one of Olivia's girls came with a price. When Olivia demands payment, Tiffany is shocked to discover her boss has a fetish...for shrinking and eating tiny people. Tiffany's day takes an insane turn as she becomes intimately familiar with her boss's body's inner workings.
- Attachments
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- The Favor by Zombie Slave.pdf
- (153.06 KiB) Downloaded 2040 times
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Zombie_Slave - Advanced Vorarephile
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Re: Zombie Slave's Vore Stories
Nice stories.
- Milliways
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Re: Zombie Slave's Vore Stories
Hey, nice formatting---very easy to read.
I really enjoyed this. Very vivid description of the inside of Olivia's mouth and stomach. Tiffany getting herself in greater danger surprised me (I didn't read the description of the story beforehand ) and I enjoyed the "twist", as it were.
I really enjoyed this. Very vivid description of the inside of Olivia's mouth and stomach. Tiffany getting herself in greater danger surprised me (I didn't read the description of the story beforehand ) and I enjoyed the "twist", as it were.
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Sehnsucht - Intermediate Vorarephile
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Re: Zombie Slave's Vore Stories
So over the years there had been a lot of sites opening up selling video clips catering to ideas like shrunken people vore. This story was inspired by that kind of idea.
Teaser: Eve and Crystal have started making and selling fetish videos online. Their videos have an edge because they don't have to use props...they can actually shrink each other. Branching out from their typical "captured pet" or trampling videos, the two women decide to make their first vore video. (F/F, mouthplay, vore, shrink, 10k words)
Teaser: Eve and Crystal have started making and selling fetish videos online. Their videos have an edge because they don't have to use props...they can actually shrink each other. Branching out from their typical "captured pet" or trampling videos, the two women decide to make their first vore video. (F/F, mouthplay, vore, shrink, 10k words)
- Attachments
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- Clips For Sale.pdf
- (333.64 KiB) Downloaded 1104 times
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Zombie_Slave - Advanced Vorarephile
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Re: Zombie Slave's Vore Stories
Hmm not bad, long descriptions, nice characterization, and a good story to boot. Would have liked a happier ending this time, since we got to know both girls so well, but for what you've got, it's all nice. Would say, I would have had the ray give her immunity to digestion, something to do with the cellular density to normal matter, or something. Embarrassing, but not fatal, and leading to more fun with the girls later.
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Star_Sage - Advanced Vorarephile
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Re: Zombie Slave's Vore Stories
Good story!
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ElPortero - Advanced Vorarephile
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