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This one wasnt really inspired by anything, well, aside from zelda anyways. It involves the characters anju and kafei from majoras mask, and i got just a little carried away with the references from that game (sorry, i got a little to into it) so if you havent played through it, then you may not get some of them, perticularly the ending. Although im pretty sure youll still understand the vore lol. All in all, im quite happy with how it turned out. Feedback appreciated
Contains:
F/M
(Sort of) kid vore
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Posted by soldier148 15 years ago Report
grammer wise, it's pretty danged good, very literate. however, it has a feeling of being rushed. there are plotholes like how tall the shrunken lover is, why the moon is falling, why the man went to go get the mask, that think. this is a reason why i dont really like fanfic stories, you have to know alot about the game or media the story is based off of to really understand it, especially if they get a little out of hand with the referances, as you told me.
what i reccomend is try writing another love story, but create your own characters and scenerio. take a bit longer in writing it and proofreading to make sure that it doesnt have that rushed feeling anymore. take things a bit slower and go into more detail, really get the reader absorbed into the story. you've got the talent, just take the time.
Posted by JQVore 15 years ago Report
Yes, like I said, diffinately catering to the zelda fan, most of the things you said are answered in the game (thus the carried away part).
Posted by vmoartet 15 years ago Report
In my opinion, the Anju/Kafei side quest in MM is one of the reasons why it's my favorite Zelda in the series, and you did fairly well working with the source material in order to bend the characters to your vorish whim. I had planned to do a Anju/Kafei vore pic, and this fic has given me more incentive to do so. Good job! :)
Posted by JQVore 15 years ago Report
Thank you :3 I'm really glad you liked it. MM is my favorite also (though OoT was up until just recently.) Anyways, thank you again. I tried to get both characters as true to the game as I could. Same goes for the setting, the last 5 minutes before the moon hits. In the game the music sets up a sense of dread, I tried to copy this, but it became quite difficult. But I still like the "beginning of the first day" line at the end, makes me laugh (not sure why). Heh, I'll have to keep my eye out for that picture lol, it's pretty much promised a favorite from me.