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STORY 37

STORY 37

It was dark. Completely dark. And hot, the temperature rising rapidly around him, sweat beading on his forehead. He wiped at it with a damp hand. The ground was damp, too, warm and squishy flesh, as was the wall he leaned into, shivering in the dark. From time to time, he heard groans and growls, echoing up from deeper within the naga's digestive system. From her intestine, which would be the next stage of his journey. And, always, the steady thump-thump, thump-thump of her heart, somewhere above him in her chest.

He inhaled, slowly. He was trying to control his breathing. Not that it would do much good. He was not going to get out of here. Not alive and undigested, in any case. The air was still breathable, albeit unpleasantly warm - stifling, even. He kept expecting a flow of liquid round his feet and buttocks, the beginning of digestion, but so far the naga had kept him waiting. She seemed content to hold him in her stomach. Whether or not she was deliberately delaying digestion, or whether her metabolism was just slow to kick in, he had no idea. That, too, barely mattered. However long he had, his last moments would be spent here, in the pitch black of this unbreachable digestive chamber - the giant naga's stomach.

He had struggled at first. Of course he had. Overwhelmed with panic, he had pounded at the inside walls of her belly, hitting and screaming, cursing and pleading. To no avail. The futility of it had dawned upon him soon enough, as his rational mind emerged through the haze of terror, reasserting itself. He told himself that the naga had probably eaten many humans before, and that most of them had probably tried to fight their way out. If it were possible to escape, she would not have eaten him. There was no point in fighting. Once he had accepted that, he had felt suddenly a lot calmer, which had surprised him at first.

It was out of his hands. There was nothing he could do. Rather than despair, that realisation had brought him a strange sense of peace. It was all over; there was no point in worrying any more. All he had left to do was wait. And hope it wouldn't hurt too much.

He had leaned back, resting against the inner wall of the naga's belly, steadying himself as she moved, her slithering motion jostling him faintly. He had soon found his balance, and the movement of the naga all around him became a steady, almost soothing lull. He wondered what he felt like to her - a pleasant weight of food in her stomach. He leaned his head back into the fleshy wall of her tummy, and closed his eyes. There was no point in keeping them open. His slow, steady breath began to match the sound of her own, and the beating of her heart.

Eventually, something happened. Her slithering became less steady. Stops and starts, a long pause, then a sudden, quick movement, lunging forward. From inside her, he heard a muffled yelp, followed immediately by a female scream. He opened his eyes. Still saw nothing but darkness. The naga had come to a stop again. She was talking. Another scream, then wet, sloshing sounds from up above. The echo of a moan of pleasure, and a gulp, loud and wet. A woman's yell, terrified, coming… closer.

He realised what was happening, and pulled his legs in, grim-faced, so that his approaching, unknown companion would not land on them. A squelching, popping sound, as the naga's food was pushed through the sphincter of her stomach, and the woman's yell became fully audible, no longer seperated from him by any wall of flesh. The scream faded into a gasp, breathless, as the woman landed close by.

He said nothing, gave her a moment to pick herself up. He could hear her breathing, great gulps of breath, shivering, panicking. Then a stuttering female voice:

“Is… Is s-someone there? I c-c-can hear you breathing! Who's there?!

“I'd say the first course of our naga friend's lunch,” he answered calmly, with a little smirk. Then paused. “I'm sorry. That was tactless. My name's Leri. Leri Baide.”

Her breathing was still fast, unsteady, gripped with panic. “D-d-don't come near me! Where are you? Stay away!”

“I'm not moving,” he promised her, quietly. “Just stay where you are, and I won't come towards you.”

There was no reply. Only her gulps of breath, shuddering, almost like sobs. Her voice sounded young, but it was impossible to be sure.

“What's your n-” he began, after a long moment.

“Why can't I see?” she blurted out, a frightened wail. “I can't see a thing! I can't see!”

Leri blinked. She was terrified, too frightened to be rational. She was also using up a lot of their air. The latter point didn't matter much; they were both going to die anyway. But if he was going to spend his final moments with this stranger, he felt duty-bound to help her calm down.

He did not want her dying terrified.

“There's no light,” he pointed out, gently. “No source of light.”

“But I should… I should… I should…” She gulped against her fear. “I should… I can see in the dark! Why can't I see here?”

She could see in the dark? Not human, then… “There's no light at all,” he explained. “You can see at night because there's moonlight. But not here. Your eyes would need some sort of light.”

Silence answered him, holding for several seconds. Then a gulp of fear, and a shivering whisper:

“I'm sorry…”

“What about?” he asked, softly.

“You're n-not going to hurt me, are you?”

“No,” he told her very gently. “I promise. I'm not going to hurt you.”

There was a sudden jolt, as the stomach around them shifted. Leri was tossed back against the wall behind him, while the woman was thrown off balance with a yelp. He heard a sound of skin clapping on skin, and felt something land on his feet. A rush of air against his face… Up above, a loud, feminine burp, which echoed back down to him. The naga had just patted her tummy, content.

He felt the woman pick herself up, and whimper.

“Are you ok?”

“No,” she whispered, in a small voice.

He winced. He could have hit himself. “I'm sorry. Stupid thing to say. Did you hurt yourself falling?”

“No.” Another whisper. A faint sound, as she scrambled back out of his way. Silence, for a long while.

A rumble rose from deeper in the naga's body. Perhaps an earlier meal, passing through her intestine. The woman let out a very faint whimper, barely audible. Her quick breathing had slowed a little.

“Are you going to tell me your name?” he asked, gently.

For a while, he thought she was not going to reply. Then: “Netch.”

“Netch?” He smiled, faintly, in the darkness. “That's-”

“It's short for Netichi,” she interrupted, sounding defensive. “It's what my friends call me. And my parents. A-a… and Jaynel…” A pause. When she spoke again, there was a strangled sob in her voice: “Oh, gods…”

“I was going to say, it's a pretty name.” He could hear the sound of her crying, softly. “I'm so sorry, Netch. That this has happened.”

“I'm never going to see them again,” she wept, miserably. “I'm going to die. Oh gods, I'm going to die.”

“I'm sorry,” he whispered, again.

Silence again, for a long while. The sound of sobs. He wanted to go over and comfort her, but she had made it clear she wanted to stay out of his reach. Then, a sniffle.

“It's not your fault,” she whispered.

“What?” That had taken him by surprise.

“It's not your fault.” She gulped back her tears, and sniffled again, loudly. The naga around them was moving, her stomach gently swaying, rocking them. Still no acids, other than a damp, watered-down residue stinging at his buttocks. “Who are you?”

“I'm human,” Leri said. “I'm from another world. I… I settled here a few weeks ago.” He paused. “Less than three weeks ago, actually.”

A faint shuffling sound. Perhaps Netch was moving. She did not seem to have come any closer, though.

“I'm a neko,” she told him. There was a tremble in her voice, but she sounded a little calmer. Perhaps she, too, had realised the futility of despair. “I live here. I've always lived here. My tribe… I'm from the Red Leaf tribe.”

“You live in the jungle?” he queried gently.

“Yes.” A small, subdued voice. A brief sob. “I don't want to die…” The words trailed off into a tears, and she wept quietly, abandoned by hope, trapped in the stomach of a giant predator. Leri began to straighten up, responding to the urge to go to her, then stopped, and sat back down.

“I don't want to die either,” he said at last, very gently. “But you're not alone.”

She cried for a while longer, and he sat in silence, jostled faintly by the steady motion of the slithering naga. A fresh bout of sniffles signalled that the neko was trying to dry her tears.

“Can I sit with you?” she whispered pitifully, surprising him again.

He gave a gentle, comforting smile, which she could not see. He made sure it sounded in his voice. “Of course… Come on.”

“Where are you?”

“Just feel around,” he encouraged her. “I'm right here.”

Netch hiccoughed over her own crying, and whimpered.

“Never mind,” Leri told her. “Stay where you are. I'm coming to you.” He straightened up, and made his way on all fours over the unsteady floor of the naga's belly. It was a very short distance. His outstretched hand found the neko's leg almost immediately, and she gave a sharp intake of breath.

“Sorry!” he said quickly.

“It's ok.” She reached out, one hand, then both, touching his chest, his left arm, his face. He leaned back against the fleshy wall, and Netch snuggled up close against him, one hand on his shoulder, the other arm wrapping round his midsection. Clutching to him. Carefully, he put an arm round her too, holding her.

“Yes, it's ok,” he whispered back.

“For now.”

“For now,” he agreed softly. “Yes.”

“I…” She paused, and nestled closer up to him, her head resting against his shoulder. “I was on my second hunt.” She stopped.

“Talk to me, Netch,” he encouraged her. He kept his arm round her, without drawing her any closer than she wanted. Leaving her the initiative. “Tell me about it.”

He felt her nod, her hair tickling his skin. She shivered, swallowed against her fear. “My second hunt as an adult, I mean. With no older person to watch me. I… I was out with Jaynel…”

She stopped. She sounded as though she were about to cry again. Very gently, he pulled her a little closer.

“Shhh…” he soothed. “Is Jaynel a friend?”

“Yes.” There were tears in her voice.

“Did something bad happen to her?” Her strangled little sound of grief was all the answer he needed. “OK. We don't have to talk about it if you don't want.”

“She… She…” Netch breathed in, steadied herself. “She stepped in slug girl slime. I couldn't g-get her out. I… I tried…”

“I'm sure you did. I know you did.”

“I… I was going to get help. But n-now… now she…”

“Shhh…” he soothed again. “All right, let's not think about that now. There's nothing you can do about that. Don't fret, Netch.” He resisted an impulse to kiss her forehead and comfort her. An idea came to him. “Tell me about your first hunt,” he said, keeping his voice calm, steady. “How did that go?”

Netch breathed out a little sigh. He felt her tremble, just once, in his arms, before settling.

“It went well,” she said at last. “I wasn't with J-Jaynel; I was with another friend. We… We picked up a scent, we… We followed it. We were really good.” There was a slight ring of pride in her voice. The first time he had heard anything there but fear and despair. He smiled, softly.

“Well done. I'm sure you're quite the huntress. Me, not at all, you see. I survived here by picking fruit from bushes.”

“Really?” Her hair tickled him again as she turned her head, perhaps trying to look up at him in the darkness. A pause. “Tell me about yourself, Leri?” Her voice a hopeful whisper.

Despite his situation, Leri gave a short chuckle. “There's not all that much to tell. I can't say I've had a fascinating life. I grew up on… well, a world far away from here. I inherited a small business riddled with debts from my dad. I was just dragged down into poverty before I could get started. I pulled out. I scraped together enough to get offworld, go somewhere no-one would bother me. I'd heard of this place, Felarya…” He paused, and sighed. “I'd heard there were ruins… I knew there were, kind of, giant predators, but I thought, in a ruined city… I might be safe. I arrived at Ur-Sagol on Felarya Express, and I've been, well, living there.”

“What were you doing out in the forest, then?” Netch whispered. She did sound calmer now. As though, somehow, his words had soothed her.

He gave a wry smile. “I was looking for water. Silly, isn't it?”

“No, it's…” She trailed off. The naga hiccoughed, jolting them closer together. “You don't sound frightened.”

“Me?” He sighed, and shook his head. “I'm frightened. When I arrived here, I… Well, I panicked. I'd had time to reason with myself by the time you…” He stopped. “Anyway.”

“I can't quite believe it yet,” Netch whispered. “This morning, I'd never-”

“Shh. Now, don't think about that.” Putting a gentle smile into his voice, he asked her: “Tell me about yourself. Your tribe.”

“No.” She shook her head. “No, I don't wan- No, that would just… Tell me about you, Leri.” She pressed herself closer against him. “Please. Just… talk. Just keep talking. About anything. I just want to hear your voice. As long as you can.”

“All right.” Softly, he ran his hand through her hair. Her hair… He didn't even know what colour it was. He smiled, sadly. “My life's story isn't very… Well, I can think of things to say.” He inhaled, quietly. “Here goes…”

* * *

Katrika swallowed another gulp of air, enabling the human and the neko in her stomach to breathe a while longer. She did it almost without thinking, a well-practiced reflex. She could feel their presence weighing comfortably in her belly. They were no longer moving, but she had no intention of letting her digestive juices get to work just yet. She enjoyed the feel of having the food in her tummy.

She gave them little thought. They were just lunch, and she had far more interesting things to think about. She smiled quietly to herself as she slithered between the trees, approaching a familiar area… and a familiar scent. She heard a half-muttered curse, in a feminine voice that caused a little twitter in her heart. She slithered forward silently, avoiding low-hanging branches whose leaves might rustle as she passed. She had been practicing this. If she could just catch the taller naga by surprise…

“Kat, stop slinking around back there!” the pink-haired naga snapped at her, without even turning round. “Either come out, or go away.”

Katrika sighed, and slithered out into full view. Anna's words stung, a little. A lot less then they once had, but, although she had got used to it, it was never pleasant to be snapped at by someone she cared about so much. She stopped, just inside the small clearing. Anna still had her back to her. Her short pink hair caught the rays of the midday sun, dappled through the staggeringly high canopy of leaves far above.

“What do you want, squirt?” Anna asked bluntly. “This is my private space. As I've told you” -she paused- “about a million times.”

Encouraged by Anna talking to her, Katrika slithered forward again. She glanced past her, curious, at a large mass of metallic… something, with little squiggly bits of various colours, and a flat, darker part. Probably made by humans.

“What are you doing?”

Anna turned her head, at last, and scowled at her. “I thought we'd established that you don't understand human technology, even when I explain it to you in simple terms.”

Katrika tried not to cringe. She gave the beautiful giant naga her best hopeful look. “I'm interested,” she said, nervous but bold. “It's something you like, and I'd like to understand it too.”

Anna opened her mouth, closed it, rolled her eyes, and breathed out a mock-patient sigh.

“Beat it, kid. I'm not in the mood.” She turned away from her once more.

Katrika's shoulders slumped. “I just-”

Even those two words seemed the wrong thing to say. She got no further. Anna whirled round to face her, yellow eyes sharp with anger and…something else. “Look… Do you have to keep following me around like a damn… love-struck puppy on a damn string?” she seethed through clenched teeth. “It's childish! It's annoying! It's bloody well getting on my nerves! Grow up, Katrika! Take your teenage fancies and go and pester someone else with them! I've been patient, but I'm sick of it! Just… piss off, and leave me alone!”

Katrika stayed still, her eyes widening, and slowly brimming with tears at the verbal onslaught. As Anna stopped, and loomed there glaring at her, her lower lip trembled, but she could not utter a sound. She opened her mouth in turn, closed it, then hurried past her beloved Anna as fast as she could go, struggling to hold her tears until she was out of sight.

“Katrika!”

That might have been a note of remorse in Anna's voice, calling after her, but Kat could not stop. Tears trickling down her cheeks, she sped into the underbrush, wiping at her eyes, until finally she came to a stop, trembling, and leaned against a tree. Catching her breath, she began to cry, quietly…

* * *

Minutes passed. She was aware of Anna approaching, and considered moving away, hiding, but in the end there seemed no point. Whatever unpleasant truths the lovely naga wanted to put to her, she would just have to be brave, and face them. After all -she thought, wiping her eyes again-, she was grown up now. If she wanted to be taken seriously, she couldn't run away from the problems she caused. Nor could she just avoid Anna when the latter was angry with her.

She braced herself, and waited, as the taller naga slithered into view. Anna's beautiful face was set, serious, her eyes reflecting feelings that Katrika could not yet decipher.

“I'm sorry,” Anna said.

“I'm…” Katrika stopped. She stared up at her. “What?” she said, in a small voice.

“I'm sorry,” Anna repeated. “I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. What I said… I said things that were hurtful, and I shouldn't have said them. You're a sweet kid…” She paused. “Actually, you're not a kid. You're a young woman, and I didn't mean to demean you.”

Katrika continued staring at her. For a long while, she could think of nothing to say. Anna held her gaze, then, eventually shrugged.

“There. I owed you an apology. You've had it. I've leave you to… whatever it is you do when you're out on your own.”

Katrika straightened up quickly as Anna began to turn away.

“Anna, wait.”

The taller naga looked back at her. “What?” she asked, as patiently as she could. Katrika gave her a look of caring and concern.

“Are you ok?”

A slow frown creased Anna's forehead. “Why? Don't I look ok?”

“I…” She hesitated.

Anna sighed. “Oh, squirt… You just turned up at a bad time. Yes, I'm ok, but I… I've been…” She shook her head. “You wouldn't understand.”

Katrika moved towards her, slowly. She was nervous, but Anna had something on her mind, and she would help in any way she could. “I'm not a kid. That's what you just said.” She met her gaze. “Try me. Tell me what's wrong.”

Anna gave a wry smile. “What are you now, a pyschiatrist? Our local agony aunt?”

Kat blinked. “Wh… What?” she asked, confused.

“Never mind.” Anna hesitated, bit her lip, then made up her mind, and sighed. “I've just been… I've been thinking of home.”

Katrika looked at her curiously. “Home?”

Anna refrained from rolling her eyes again. “Hel-lo!” she reminded her, with an impatient wave. “I don't exactly come from here. I used to be human, before our dear friend Crisis slurped me up for dinner. I've been thinking of Delurah. My homeworld. My… Well, my brother.” She frowned. “This may come as a surprise to you, but I have a brother. Like many of the humans you keep eati- Never mind. Anyway, since you asked, I've been having a bit of… I've been homesick.” She grimaced, sounding embarassed at the mere word. “I'll get over it, and I don't need a shoulder to cry on. Especially not a naga's shoulder. So if you don't mind, I'll get back to what I was doing.”

Katrika absorbed that, surprised, and was quiet for a long moment. When it seemed Anna was not going to slither off on her right away, despite her words, she opened her mouth slowly, thinking through her reply.

“Tell me about Delurah,” she said at last, simply.

Anna gave her a dubious look. “It has humans on it.” Her tone was sarcastic, but Katrika was undeterred.

“Tell me about your family. What it was like for you growing up.” She looked her in the eyes, and tried to control the rapid beating of her own heart. “Please.” I want to help

Anna held her gaze for a long time. Katrika felt a little shivery, her eyes locked with Anna's lovely, complex, sometimes so very fierce eyes…

“It's not quite as warm as here, where I come from,” she said at last. “It rains a lot.” Katrika smiled, grateful and touched, and slithered up a little closer to her. Anna gave her a wary look, but went on: “There are houses. You wouldn't know about houses. Though I don't suppose I knew much about them myself. It's all a lot less… primitive than here.” She sighed. “A warm, dry, comfortable bed to sleep in. I didn't get many of those, but, when I did… Breakfast cereals… Not many of those either. When we had the money… God, I miss them. A wood, with a field of flowers, right outside town. I used to… With my brother, sometimes, when we could, we used to go there…”

Katrika looked up into her face, smiling softly, and just listened, the words pouring into her ears - into her heart. She felt a slow, gentle warmth seep through her very being. Anna's face had softened, and at that moment she looked more beautiful than ever, her eyes reflecting a side of her Kat had so rarely seen. She was lovely… And she needed a friend. And Katrika was that friend.

As Anna talked, Kat moved right up to her, and, hesitantly, put her arms round her. Anna flinched at first, then gave a weary sigh.

“Are you even listening?”

“Yes,” Katrika said, with heartfelt sincerity.

“Right.” Anna paused, then, slowly, put her arms round her too. “God, squirt, sometimes I don't know what to do with you.” There was a definite hint of affection in her voice.

“I'm just listening,” Katrika whispered.

“Yeah.” Anna gave a half-smile, unseen, and shook her head. She breathed in quietly. “Anyway, when we went into the woods…”

* * *

The bright light of day faded gradually into the early evening dusk. Anna talked, for a while, and Katrika rested against her, a soft smile on her face. The simple things in life… Anna slipped away from her arms, eventually, but she did it gently, and Katrika watched her leave, without following. She stayed where she was, a long while, feelings astir within her, more powerful than thought.

Eventually, as she realised it was almost time for dinner, she became aware once more of the undigested food in her stomach. Giving it little consideration, she enabled her digestive acids to flow at last, and her belly rumbled wetly. She had stopped swallowing air a long time ago. Leri and Netch had slipped into eternal slumber, in each other's arms, passing out from lack of oxygen… Her acids set to work on their unmoving bodies. As her heart went out to Anna with a quiet sigh, she gave them no further thought.

That night, she fell asleep at the Giant Tree, close to Anna, listening to her breathing as she drifted into slumber herself. Her dreams were peaceful.

Deep inside her body, a liquified flow of nutrients nourished her as it passed through her intestine. Leri and Netch, inseperable now, strangers and friends, companions on their final journey. Beyond their final moment, stretching into forever.

THE END

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Details :: by French_snack
artists avatar
A fairly short story, from an idea that literally came to me the moment I woke up one morning.

Anna belongs to Karbo, and Katrika belongs to Zoekin. Aspects of their use here were submitted to them and approved. Thank you both for your comments.
Uploaded: 11 months ago
Views: 684
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Comments: 18
Tags: Anna Digestion Felarya Katrika Micro Naga Non-consensual Oral Vore Soft Vore
Favorites: 6
Comments
other-smiley-guy's avatar Posted by
2009-09-30 9:36am
Oh, I love the descriptions you give for an acidic environment. I was pulled into your story from the beginning. You write so well, better than I. Are you an English major or what?

[ Reply ]
other-smiley-guy's avatar Posted by French_snack
2009-09-30 10:33am
Thanks! (Though I wouldn't say I write better than you.) I studied English-language literature, amongst other things, but I've never done Creative Writing or anything like that. I've simply been making attempts at writing stories ever since I was a child. :p

[ Reply ]
other-smiley-guy's avatar Posted by
2009-09-30 11:01am
Oh, no. No need to be modest. Your writing is so eloquent. I'm green with envy. = P

[ Reply ]
other-smiley-guy's avatar Posted by Jacquelope
2009-09-30 10:58am
Wow. This is why I say I wish I could write like you. You've got this tragic tale of two trapped people going on inside Katrika's stomach, trying to keep each other company until they run out of air. Then you have Katrika's feelings being hurt by Anna on the outside. Then you have... wow. I wish I could play with a reader's emotions like a kitten with a ball of yarn like you.. LOL! Awesomeburger. Flamebroiled with cheese!

[ Reply ]
other-smiley-guy's avatar Posted by French_snack
2009-09-30 11:56am
Thanks! I simply like to play with the idea that, while preds' actions are tragic for the prey, the preds themselves just see it as feeding, and have their own lives, issues and emotions. I thought it could be interesting to show the extent of these two interactions playing out at the same time and in the same "place" (so to speak), while being utterly unconnected. (Katrika never thinks about what her lunch may be going through, while Leri and Netch have other things to worry about than Katrika's problems and feelings.) I like to get the reader to sympathise with the prey (of course), but also in some cases with the pred (who's just getting on with her life after having lunch). I've been criticised (by one person) for failing to present readers with clear-cut "good guys" and "bad guys", but it's a deliberate choice on my part; I think it's more effective this way. It's what I find interesting to play around with, anyway. :)

[ Reply ]
other-smiley-guy's avatar Posted by Jacquelope
2009-09-30 12:43pm
Well you pulled it off masterfully. I'm with Gentle Grounds on this, I'm practically smearing green on the walls here! :D

[ Reply ]
other-smiley-guy's avatar Posted by French_snack
2009-09-30 1:16pm
Heh, thanks. Though neither of you have any reason to. :)


[ Reply ]
other-smiley-guy's avatar Posted by Zoekin
2009-09-30 1:57pm
If I may interject-Katrika has recently had her preys experiances brought home to her. It's shaken her badly.

[ Reply ]
other-smiley-guy's avatar Posted by Zoekin
2009-09-30 2:16pm
Well-I loved this story! You're a master storyteller! You captured my little girl perfectly.

Katrika-"Little?"

Figure of speech. Anyway, nice to see Katrika growing up and respecting Anna a bit more. I really enjoyed how Anna opened up to Kat and treated her like a friend. I love it when Anna shows her softer side. (As readers of my work on DA will know ;) )

Well done! Always a pleasure to read your work.

Katrika-"I like working with him too! He's tasty!"

KAT!

Katrika-"What? I lick him from time to time!"


[ Reply ]
other-smiley-guy's avatar Posted by French_snack
2009-09-30 3:41pm
Thank you! I'm glad you like it. It's always a pleasure to write about Katrika, and once that scene between her and Anna developed in my mind, I really wanted to get it written down.

Katrika, I don't mind a lick now and then, but just don't swallow, please. Otherwise I might find it a bit difficult to continue writing. :p


[ Reply ]
other-smiley-guy's avatar Posted by Passion_25
2009-09-30 5:00pm
Much like the works from you I have so far read, this is wonderful. You've got such a way with words that draws me in on every occasion, and you described the emotions of the Nagas so well. Not only that, but your description of the highly corrosive environment within the Naga conveyed a lot of imagery too.

You should be thoroughly proud of yourself.


[ Reply ]
other-smiley-guy's avatar Posted by French_snack
2009-10-01 3:18am
Thank you very much! Credit must go to Karbo and Zoekin for creating the naga characters, though. I just took that basis, developed it into a particular situation, and added the situation with the prey in Katrika's stomach. But it was interesting to write about. :)



[ Reply ]
other-smiley-guy's avatar Posted by Passion_25
2009-10-01 7:00am
Well, of course. I give credit where it's due, and all three of you deserve it.

I can imagine it was, FS :). Every story, however well or badly written, is of interest to write about in its own way. But it's particularly interesting to think about the story that way. It's almost like you've combined two separate stories the way you've done this, and you've done this very well.


[ Reply ]
other-smiley-guy's avatar Posted by French_snack
2009-10-01 11:45am
Thanks. Essentially, it is two seperate stories - but one happening inside the stomach of a character involved in the other. Two disconnected stories, yet with intimately connected characters (so to speak). Simultaneous, and in the same place, but unrelated. That's what was interesting to play around with. Anyway, I'm glad you liked it. :)


[ Reply ]
other-smiley-guy's avatar Posted by Krisexy
2009-09-30 5:58pm
je taime :/...XD

dsl jsuis rendu trop fanatique de tes histoires. la ou tu réussi tres bien et ou moi jéchou cest lévolution des dialogues....comment tu fais? D: eske tu te met a la place des preys pi la tu te demande ce quils peuvent se dire et ce qui peut arriver?

en tk tes super bon :O tes comme mon héro de littérature :O continu comme sa ^^ xoxoxo


[ Reply ]
other-smiley-guy's avatar Posted by French_snack
2009-10-01 3:26am
Aw, merci! Tu vas me faire rougir! :)

Pour les dialogues... Ne te descends pas toi-même. Les tiens ne sont pas mal du tout. Oui, en partie j'essaie de me mettre à la place des personnages, en tenant compte de leur personnalité. Je commence avec une idée de la direction que prendra la conversation, des répliques clef, mais je laisse couler aussi, pour que ça soit "naturel"; beaucoup de répliques me viennent en écrivant, et du coup une partie au moins du dialogue est vraiment spontannée.

Merci en tout cas de tes remarques. Ca me fait vraiment plaisir, et j'essaierai de continuer sur ma lancée. :)


[ Reply ]
other-smiley-guy's avatar Posted by Krauser
2009-12-25 3:30pm
Once again, you explore a never-before-used concept (at least, I think) and mastered it. You capture it so well! Its like you actually go to felarya to think up these stories and descriptions.... hmmmm.... :p

[ Reply ]
other-smiley-guy's avatar Posted by French_snack
2009-12-25 3:47pm
Thank you! This was an interesting one to write, and I'm glad you like it!


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