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And here we have page 14! Jade knows just here she wants Brittany. As Brittany begins to get a lil' taste Jade, Jade begins to get a lil taste of Brittany. Alas, Brittany begins her struggle to escape Jades maw. Will her screams be heard in time!? Eh, I doubt it.
I FIXED IT!!! I'm liking this one so much more! Thank you all for your comments and suggestions!
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Posted by steven1950 14 years ago Report
*claps*and still hot as ever love the facial expresions expesaly the ones in the last panal
Posted by Metalforever 14 years ago Report
Gosh darn you! This is too hawt to resist! I can't resist it! I cannont deney it!
I love this comic!
Posted by coaster14 14 years ago Report
just a thought, you can put a number in the corner of each panel to with following it.
Posted by Demihunger 14 years ago Report
Would my guess be correct, but that one where Jade throat got stretched by Brittany's breast?
Posted by Shryland 14 years ago Report
Yep!
Posted by Ome 14 years ago Report
I knew it was gonna happen, but I cannot help but lament, as I really liked Brittany's design. Poor hot naive girl....so sad.
given how hard it is to draw a massive belly on a normal form and make it look "beleivable" I think alot of the panels look really good. Though the 3rd down on the left makes it look like Jade's upper torso is positioned above her belly, I don't know how to fix it.
Posted by Shryland 14 years ago Report
Yea, I was at the apex of anger when I was drew this panel. I knew it looked wrong but I didn't care. I think I am going to redraw this page, but keep a few of the good panels.
Posted by Hooligan 14 years ago Report
Aw, I was looking for some UB action with Brittany. Still, I LOVE how this turned out! This series has been awesome!
Cant wait to see the next 2 pages. ^^
Posted by Shryland 14 years ago Report
Ha! Not yet man, not yet
Posted by Hooligan 14 years ago Report
Yay!
As far as changes I think you could do. I really like all the panels you made, as they are. However, after Brittany says "Oh God" panel 4 is great, but the swollowing should go slower. Personally, I think panels 5,6 and 7 are well done and could just be moved to page 15 as the first 3 panels there.
Also of note, Jades mouth could use some saliva. It looks far to dry as it is, little bit of saliva wetness would look great! ^^
Posted by Hooligan 14 years ago Report
*Facepalm.
"the 4 panels after Brittany says "Oh God." are great. Panel 7 is fine the way it is, but the swallowing in 8, 9 and 10 should have gone slower. Work her way up Brittany's legs to her ass, in those last panels. Then move panels 8, 9 and 10 to page 15 as the first 3 panels there.
Also of note, Jades mouth could use some saliva. It looks far to dry as it is, little bit of saliva wetness would look great! ^^
Posted by Shryland 14 years ago Report
Absolutely crazy.....But it just might work!
Posted by nommer45 14 years ago Report
Personally I LOVE feet first vore specifically as it DOES leave the prey's face sticking out as we get to see their final realization and fear as they realize that they are now just food, despite being able to talk and not really anything more. And your face designs really showcases your strong facial emotions of the characters. head first is just boring and wasteful for the watchers. My only comment would be the lack of expanding Jade's mouth in the consumption of Brittany. Brittany seemingly just folds into Jade, rather like a very small fixed sized blackhole crushing a large planet like Jupiter. And just about at the same speed. Jade goes from having Brittany's feet in her mouth to almost instantly all of Brittany's body minus Brittany's head and shoulders. She is are just about absorded. How can Jade enjoy the taste if she just sucks her meal down so fast ;D
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But it is still a great production.
Posted by Shryland 14 years ago Report
Yea, Lamnia suggested expanded the vore scene to a couple more panels. Again I warn, never draw when your angry. You let too many things slide.
Posted by Lithalya 14 years ago Report
I think, as far as criticism goes, panels 5, 6, 7 and 8 could probably use a little work, though I still love your series. It looks a little funny when she's being sucked into Jade's mouth, like she's shrinking and bending in very weird angles with half her body going into Jade's tummy, while half is still outside and laying across her. Also, the panel where Jade's sucking on her feet, her face looks a little goofy to me, though it may just be odd seeing her proportioned like that with having such a gigantic stomach. Second to last panel seems to be kind of mish-mashy between the two, not very distinguishable in features. Last panel, the girl's hair sticking out of Jade's mouth kind of looks like Jade has fingers or something in her mouth? O.o;;
Otherwise, still very well done, and a great series thus far.
Posted by Shryland 14 years ago Report
Appreciate the critique! Yea, I completely agree. Alot of these panels look bad. I wasn't thinking straight at the time. Looking back, yea going from feet to waist is odd. Legs don't bend that way, I'll have to re-design a panel with the body twisting around a bit. Again, thanks for the critique. I'll be looking at your comment and some others when I redraw it.
Posted by Lithalya 14 years ago Report
Don't work too hard. :P It's still great work, nonetheless!
Posted by Liz 14 years ago Report
Jade is one heck of a woman :D
Well inviting her out for dinner might shorten my life though :P
Loved the F/F vore :D
Posted by Shryland 14 years ago Report
It's my fav too!
Posted by Fragtagonal 14 years ago Report
All of the panels turned out good. Don't doubt yourself
Posted by Shryland 14 years ago Report
Oh it's not doubt. I look at it and the quality is definitely lacking compared to the previous 4 pages. Redoing it will definitely benefit everyone!
Posted by Redatheart 14 years ago Report
fuck yes
Posted by Shryland 14 years ago Report
Fuck yes, it's awesome?
Fuck yes, you need to touch it up?
Or
Fuck yes, both?
Posted by Redatheart 14 years ago Report
awesome
more must follow
Posted by icn 14 years ago Report
I definitely think there should be at least two panels between putting her toes in her mouth(panel 7) and putting her hand on her shoulder(panel 8). Bending the wrong way..I don't have a problem with that. Pred's very big right now and obviously stretchy.
Numbers would be nice, my eyes did get confused a little.
I definitely love feet first and the face sticking out of the mouth and screaming.
Doing great, I've even enjoyed the rest of the series even though I don't care for F/M.
Posted by Shryland 14 years ago Report
Yea those are a few thing that were brought to my attention. I'm going to redraw the page. I will include more panels, and I'll extend some of the original panels into the next page.
Posted by joeburp22181 14 years ago Report
Thanks Shryland
Keep up the good work!
Posted by Shryland 14 years ago Report
I shall try
Posted by DancingQueen6281 14 years ago Report
If this is work you're not happy with I can't wait to see what you consider your best work! I love this page.
Posted by DancingQueen6281 13 years ago Report
Ok I do see the improvements here so I guess you were right.
Posted by Shryland 13 years ago Report
And don't you forget it! Haha, I kid.... kinda...
Posted by hreinn 14 years ago Report
great work m8, I have nothing to add
Posted by sbaldetti 14 years ago Report
Oh my god this is awesome soo hot man I really hope you Finnish with Brittany completely swallowed please that would make a perfect ending with Jades entire belly in the last panel
Posted by sbaldetti 14 years ago Report
Good work again shryland whether you think so or not you are the best artist on the website by far even drawing angry I think it came out splendidly
Posted by night22 13 years ago Report
This redo is beautiful!!
So what were you angry about?
Posted by Shryland 13 years ago Report
Eh I was in arguement with someone.
Posted by max123 13 years ago Report
yeah i agree this look so much better than the last one
Posted by Hooligan 13 years ago Report
Looks a lot better this way!
My only crit, she goes from tonguing Brittany's pussy, to having swallowed her up to her shoulders.
Posted by Shryland 13 years ago Report
Yea i know. Still a bit rushed, I didn't really want to draw a the breasts fitting in the mouth...
Posted by Reiko 13 years ago Report
Fantastic update x3 I can't waait to see part 15! I hope you keep the face resting out portion x3 that was hot! but great update none the less!
Posted by Demihunger 13 years ago Report
Nice update, seems more fitting than the last one.
Posted by Shryland 13 years ago Report
I agree. Much better.
Posted by algog8 13 years ago Report
she needs more (female) employees! to think of it, she's helping us reduce the unemployment issues.
Posted by Shryland 13 years ago Report
Next! The illegal immigrants!!
Posted by algog8 13 years ago Report
Too much for a day's work?
Posted by Shryland 13 years ago Report
Nah, just further helping the unemployment issue!
Posted by algog8 13 years ago Report
Lets see how much she can do.
Posted by Siege 13 years ago Report
...I bet those guys in her tummy are going to be glad she gave them a nice and naked woman... am I right?
Posted by Shryland 13 years ago Report
Sshhh!!!!!
Posted by Donkata 10 years ago Report
Hah footnoms xD
Posted by ElJorro 1 year ago Report
Truly considerate Predators allow the prey to enjoy themselves a little.