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Tags: femdom Human older/younger Sex
This not a vore story, even though it's tagged that way. This is a story about voraphiles. Names, details, and the entire world have been changed to protect the innocent, and yet much of it is very like right here.
After a rough start on the Portal as an eager 18-year-old, Kalvin is back because he just can't stay away, and hopes to be a little wiser about it.
~4900 words. Heavily sexual, and most of this chapter is chat-based. There are also heavy FemDom elements, but I'd like to think of them more as Inversed MaleDom elements.
Expect another chapter every Thursday until complete. I've written and edited the next two, and am giving myself a deadline for the 4th.
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Posted by Sehnsucht 10 years ago Report
Gonna comment after a handful of paras, the rest unread. Feeling giddy reading this story. I wonder how we'll recognise ourselves?
Posted by Sehnsucht 10 years ago Report
Very subtle. Having trouble tracking the men/women switch, which is probably quite telling, and makes this a useful exercise.
Putting fantasy as the core of the story, and that occasional ache that fantasy fails to assuage, means this story will be effective and potentially quite difficult in parts.
Can't think of anyone more qualified to handle it.
Posted by 4ofSwords 10 years ago Report
Thanks! I think it becomes less subtle in the upcoming chapters, and the subject of unreachable fantasy is dealt with less directly by... dealing with it more directly. We'll see!
Posted by Indighost 10 years ago Report
I have a lot of respect for you as a writer, 4, so I wanted to share my thoughts. Here they are.
The idea of adult women being that aggressive is just hilarious XD
This is easy reading, it flows nicely.
Overall: Fairly good story about a semi-self-loathing fetishist. The male/female role-reversal was interesting. The impression it gave me was a narrated, organized delivery of the experience of a couple average Eka's users.
Posted by 4ofSwords 10 years ago Report
While I will say that there are cases of women being that aggressive, it's definitely meant to stand out as abnormal and key the reader into the role reversal here. :) I'm glad it was easier to read, though.
I'm wondering about the self-loathing bit, though. I didn't write that into Kalli intentionally. What made you feel he was self-loathing, even semi?
Posted by Indighost 10 years ago Report
1. The beginning with all the hesitation
2. the comments about being 'fucked up'
3. This part:
(21:53:25)EstrellaOscura: tell me.
(21:54:14)Kalifornia: It's kind of... I don't know, morbid.
4. This part: The terrible thing was how badly he wanted to go back to that point and live through that thrill again, just in small, manageable chunks.
Stuff like that.
Posted by Indighost 10 years ago Report
Also: I could be misinterpreting Kalli's fear of harassment as self-loathing, or Kallie's fear of harassment could add a slight shameful tinge to his fetish experience. Either way.
Posted by 4ofSwords 10 years ago Report
Ahh.. That makes sense. No, it was meant to be a fear of harassment, and I think everyone can have a little bit of self-doubt, of overstating their position as worse than it is to fish for some soothing words, without necessarily loathing.
It's really interesting to me that it was read that way, though. I definitely didn't want Kalli to come off as perfect, but I really hadn't considered that angle. If anything, I saw him as a little bit more ...arrogant.
Posted by Skittles209 10 years ago Report
It always starts with snakes doesn't it.
Posted by 4ofSwords 10 years ago Report
If there's not a snake in there somewhere, I must be doing it wrong!
Posted by noego 10 years ago Report
A-ma-zing. Would love to write praise that was up to the creative level of this story, but keep failing. Oh well. Thanks!
Posted by 4ofSwords 10 years ago Report
Hopefully the next chapters will appeal as well! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)
Posted by Ka-Atis 10 years ago Report
Ha ha, spot on in many places there.
Kalifornia: (writes long text)
EstrellaOscura: (writes one word)
Kalifornia: (writes long text)
EstrellaOscura: (writes one word)
...
*lololol*
Posted by 4ofSwords 10 years ago Report
<grin> At least she gets better later on.
Posted by newenglandee 10 years ago Report
Once again, I have to say...wow. This is actually good. A look at vore but from a RL point of view from someone truly discovering his fetish. The emotions coveyed are deep and feel genuine, this feels like something that actually HAPPENED, and Kalvin like a REAL PERSON with needs we can understand and, yes, SYMPATHIZE with.
I mean just...WOW. Amazing.
Posted by 4ofSwords 10 years ago Report
Thank you! The male-female switcharoo didn't throw all that for a loop then, I guess?
Posted by newenglandee 10 years ago Report
No, I've seen that done in RL too. So it added a bit more realism.