Uploaded: 9 years ago
Views: 5,535
File size: 12.46 KiB
MIME Type: application/rtf
Comments: 10
Favorites: 40
This is a cleaned up version of an RP I did with TrixietheVoracious. Trixie played the part of Vinyl and I was, of course, Ray. The log is written in present tense, which may be a bit awkward to read, but I'm fairly sure that I fixed up all the major grammatical errors.
Please login to post a comment.
Posted by TrixietheVoracious 9 years ago Report
Nghh that was fun x3
Posted by InvalidResponse 9 years ago Report
Oh yeah.
Posted by Redpod 9 years ago Report
nice
Posted by Pretavi 9 years ago Report
Oh, so close to being wonderful. There's just one problem..
A very, nasty problem..
Posted by InvalidResponse 9 years ago Report
Not a fan of disposal?
Posted by Pretavi 9 years ago Report
You could say that, yeah.
Posted by jak123 9 years ago Report
awesome just could of done with some more detailing about vinyl and a masturbation scene
Posted by InvalidResponse 9 years ago Report
This was an RP log. I wasn't controlling vinyl.
Posted by TrixietheVoracious 9 years ago Report
*neighs in your face*
Posted by Speedyblupi 8 years ago Report
Your tenses are all over the place for almost the entire story. You keep switching between past and present tense within sentences, and it really breaks the flow, at least for me.