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Naruto Futa Fun - Tsunade - Ending A
This is my first attempt at writing a story so any feedback to help me improve my writing will be helpful.
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Posted by Dark_phoenix 9 years ago Report
The story is short.
The sex is lackluster
I found that part B felt less...complete, compared to Sakura's part in Part A.
I think that has to do with Naruto having more to do, even if that 'more' is whispering a name and watching somebody get eaten..
The digestion scene in 'B' could have been drawn out more, as Naruto simply accepts his fate.
Yes, he has been broken by Tsunade but at least a few nods to that fact will bring a certain logic to the world.
Even if that world is basically Naruto being raped by a Futa-Tsunade and her eating somebody from team 7.
Also you mentioned Tsunade's breasts and you didn't actually do something with them... That is Chekov's gun 101 there ("If in the first act you have hung a pistol on the wall, then in the following one it should be fired. Otherwise don't put it there.")
Of course, this is entirely subjective and others may think otherwise.