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Nessie is flying on her dragoness Imber, fleeing by something she never thought she would flee from! She ends up escaping into an abandoned house, only to find out about her predators plans!
This part contains M/F human vore, including some hunting! >:3
This story is written by my girlfriend who is not into vore, but she thinks the concept is interesting and exciting! She will definitely write more if people find it interesting!
And all feedback is welcome! Grammar, ideas to help her improve stuff like that is more than welcome! ;D
(She is super eager for feedback obviously, so you would do us a huge favor if you said what is good and what could be better :3)
(Part 2 will include some more of the dragons~)
FA: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15085213/
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Posted by WulfNoS 9 years ago Report
Well this was quite well written i have to say! And wont lie in saying that i look forward to the future installments of it. ^,,^
Posted by TheUnknown 9 years ago Report
N'aaaw, thanks a bunch! :3
Part 2 is done now! We just have to go through it some times and look for mistakes ;D
Posted by Chrysaor 9 years ago Report
I would not be a good watcher if I do not take a look on your dragoness' work ^.=.^! We are definitely not fan of human pred, but I think it is good to make an effort =3!
So the plot seems interesting, as English is not your mother tongue, it is easy to understand the writing, which is well done, with a good description of the scene environment, as we can imagine it easier with drama effects and such =). For the better, I do not know it has been already said, I suggest to use the '-' thing in the dialogues, to distinguish each speaker (do not hesitate do makes more 'going at the next line', if you understand me ^.=.^"); That was the big ooooone, I do not remember what else I wanted to saaaayyyy.... Oh, it does not matter I guess x3.
Oh, and here: 'I grabbed every door I could, trying to kick them inn before he got to me' just a little over numerous 'n' x).
Posted by TheUnknown 9 years ago Report
Ohh! I am telling her that all the time! Finally i can show her this comment and prove that I am right! MUAHAHA >:3 (The dialogue thing)
But thanks for the feedback! I will tell her when she gets home, so she will probably give it a try next time! ;D