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There are three lines dividing sequences of this story. The first line signifies the beginning of the unbirth. The second represents the relationship between mother and fetus. The third marks the beginning of rebirth. I wish I didn't take so long to write this, but doing so has filled my heart and mind with more concepts to expand upon and explore. Writing more deep and creative stories to share with others. For any content I could have included in this will be carried over to other works.
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Posted by 100154 9 years ago Report
Very well done!!
Posted by Uxirusu 9 years ago Report
Thanks, did you notice any proof reading I may have missed?
Posted by 100154 9 years ago Report
There were only a few that I'd noticed but their small grammar errors. Though I was surprised that you didn't have a person show-up to the house in search of the man only to find a very pregnant woman with the way the man history was setup.
Posted by Uxirusu 9 years ago Report
Ha, that would have been cool, but the mention of his history was a play on my alternate character, the man in this story is sorta a parody of the other, I used alot of run on sentences and commas, I was never any good in English class
Posted by Groblek 9 years ago Report
Nicely done. The only criticism I have on a first read is that I'd have let her be pregnant with him for a while before the rebirth, but that's mostly personal preference. I like your descriptions of the process.
Posted by Uxirusu 9 years ago Report
My intention was such, I hinted at that prospect by having Aensland say "It's been a dream... only if mommy could have kept you in a little longer...", I will make the pregnancy longer for another tale
Posted by GoodNaughtyGoddess 9 years ago Report
Well done and elaborate.
Posted by Uxirusu 9 years ago Report
Thanks, it's a first for me