Posted by QuickFood911 9 years ago Report

Great story. I liked the part when Emmi's feeling after eating her were just those of contentment, no regrets.

Posted by French_snack 9 years ago Report

Thank you. I hesitated about her ultimate feelings, but I decided that after she had fed, her body would send to her brain a sense of contentment. Which would greatly diminish her regrets, in favour of simple enjoyment.

Posted by Indighost 9 years ago Report

I've only read a third so far, but this is an extremely erotic story, compared to your usual. I love it! Hooray for anatomical parts!

Posted by Indighost 9 years ago Report

Fantastic story! I loved every moment of it. I especially like these stories with original characters as it's much easier for a non-felaryan like myself to understand.

Posted by French_snack 9 years ago Report

Thank you! Another advantage with non-established, one-off characters is that there can be more suspense.

Emmi's fascination with human anatomical bits (Can toes be made to wiggle? And what a strange place to put an anus!) was fun to write. :p

Posted by French_snack 9 years ago Report

The ending is indeed, of course, intended to be somewhat disconcerting. A certain experience of Felarya would perhaps help to make sense of Emmi's perspective, though I would prefer it not to be required. The story should stand and function by itself.

Thank you for the detailed feedback. You're broadly correct in your impressions. Emmi was uncertain how to relate to her prey. She genuinely did sympathise with her, albeit without ever ceasing to view her as what she "naturally" is from a naga's perspective: food. Her empathy complicated her appetite, but did not override it completely.

Hence the "fascination". Emmi here had a rare opportunity to interact with a human, rather than immediately eat her. From her perspective, humans are strange and paradoxical creatures: they're natural prey, tasty, filling and nourishing; but they're also similar to "people" (i.e., nagas) in some ways, both in terms of physiology and behaviour. The clearly non-naga elements in the human's physiology and behaviour were, to Emmi, both a source of interest, and a reminder that the human is prey rather than fully "person".

You're perfectly right: Emmi *thinks* that she's capable of relating with the human, but she's not. Not completely. She doesn't realise that her (Emmi's) own behaviour fundamentally undermines her objective. She cannot get the human to relax and not feel scared when she's continuously hunting her as food. Emmi honestly feels that she's being extraordinarily kind and helpful and compassionate. She's not capable of realising the cruelty in what she's doing (forcing her to go out into the jungle, prolonging the hunt over several days…).

Emmi isn't us. She isn't a human being living safely in a modern, developed and sanitised society. She lives in the wild, spends much of her time on her own, eats whatever she can to survive, and knows that one day fairly soon, she will find herself eaten in turn. What she did here is about as much compassion and kindness as could be expected in her circumstances. Part of her would have been pleased if the human had simply got away. But the human (totally unprepared) obviously could not evade her, and so in Emmi's eyes there was a perfectly good meal just *not going away*. She did what came naturally.

Posted by French_snack 9 years ago Report

I see what you mean. But people behave in inconsistent ways, ways which they themselves might find difficult to rationalise, all the time. That's what I wanted to look into here. Emmi was able to empathise with her prey to some extent (if only because of their similarities), without -however- ever ceasing to view her as food. To stop viewing her as food would have been a step further, one which never crossed her mind. It would have been almost unthinkable. She would have been okay with the human being "food that got away"; she would have felt pleased for her, even relieved. But that would not have made her "not food". It's a predator perspective, and not a perspective that comes naturally to us.

You're correct that Emmi realises the human has little or no ability to evade pursuit. I could have shown her (Emmi) wondering whether to step up her assistance to the human to a higher level - teaching her better survival skills, for example. But remember, Emmi was conflicted as to whether or not she really wanted the human to escape. She persuaded herself that she wanted her to. But she *also* wanted to catch and eat her. (Having incompatible wishes is something that we all do as well.) Subconsciously, she may not have really wanted to make the hunt difficult for herself, even though she made herself believe that she would have liked the human to cope better.

Posted by Indighost 9 years ago Report

As a writer i too love to create fantasy creatures in fantasy worlds with personailities that could not exist in real life. It's not always easy to convey a totally new concept as not some poorly executed version of a real life concept.

Posted by Bright 9 years ago Report

It was a very nicely written story, but I kinda wished that the slave would have made it to the portal.

I do like the dialogue and the thoughts the naga has.

Posted by French_snack 9 years ago Report

Yes, most readers (including on dA) seem to have wanted the slave girl to make it out alive… She never had much of a chance, though. She was dragged into Felarya against her will, and was entirely unprepared.

Thanks. A small naga's conflicting views on a human, and her potential fascination for such a "strange creature", is a theme that I really wanted to look into.