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(Reuploaded because I'm dumb and accidentally deleted it while trying to move it into the Vore folder. I learned how not to do that though, so it should all be good from now on.)
After about a year of lurking about, helping other people (mostly Cainiam) edit their stuff, I'm finally posting something of my own!
WARNING: HARD DIGESTION, SCAT, EMOTIONS
If you wanna skip straight to "the good stuff", just Control-F and search for 'Lobster'.
And thanks to my amazing pre-reader, Cainiam , for all of his hard work.
Also, thanks to HelloNurse on FurAffinity for allowing me to crop his image for my thumbnail! (http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12955491/)
Posted by silverspec 8 years ago Report
Nice story. Like really nice.
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Posted by Vraddock 8 years ago Report
Thank you! Anything stick out in particular?
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Posted by silverspec 8 years ago Report
^^
I believe it caters to my niche of vore tags. I also like how you maintained the canon aspect of the characters. Also Lyra was a nice catalyst. Also also liked how Flutters expressed her desire. Idk, I thought it was awesome.
Sorry i'm not too good at critiques.
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Posted by Vraddock 8 years ago Report
Thank you! I'm glad to see I got the characterization right, that's one of those things that can make or break a story.
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Posted by silverspec 8 years ago Report
Indeed.
Sequel? :D
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Posted by DarkPinkie 8 years ago Report
I liked it. . . And I feel most (explicit) stories just fall flat. Probably because of lack of setup, rushed pacing, bad characterization. However this story had none of those problems.
Kudos.
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Posted by Vraddock 8 years ago Report
Thank you! Honestly, I was worried there was quite simply too much setup. That's why I put in the Lobster, you see.
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Posted by DarkPinkie 8 years ago Report
I understand a lot of people don't want (a lot of) setup in their fetish material. But that setup makes this go from a fast cocktease text (urgh, clop stories. . .) to a genuine story.
Though must mention that Zecora sounded a bit awkward. Her rhymes just feel. . . forced. Not a big thing as Zecora is beond hard to get just right.
Lyra also where a neat add to circumvent how main six would react. Also that ending quote. . .
Setup for a sequel?
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Posted by Vraddock 8 years ago Report
Shhhh...
(And also, I totally agree with you, Zecora is tricky to write. that's why half her dialogue is in Swahili.)
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Posted by DarkPinkie 8 years ago Report
*Zipper over mouth*
Hmu nw, ih ah heahih ive hih.
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Posted by VoraciousPreyator 8 years ago Report
Oh this was a real good story!
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Posted by Spec 8 years ago Report
This. Was. Absolutely. Beautiful.
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Posted by silverspec 8 years ago Report
Ikr
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Posted by Spec 8 years ago Report
10/5 Fluttershys (Fluttershies?)
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Posted by silverspec 8 years ago Report
Fluttershi
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Posted by Spec 8 years ago Report
You just reminded me of the MLP Thread Simulator.
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Posted by angrytiger12 8 years ago Report
i normally not into hard digestion but this was....... oh my gash im going to read it again.
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Posted by Vraddock 8 years ago Report
Hah! Glad I could please!
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Posted by ViperBits 8 years ago Report
First of all, you are more than welcome for the watch and it is me who should thank you for writing such beautiful stories, so thank you!
Now to the business... Wanted to comment on this for more than a month XD
Are you going to write more stories like Fluttershy's Fetish or that one with Daring Do? Maybe something that uses goo or other predator/s other than a snake and a medium back story to be not as tedious in writing? =P
I reckon you won't be the one for hard or cooking vore, so most of ideas I could give you are null =\
Also, wanted to say for a long time how much I enjoyed your story (F'sF). It was great and the part where Fluttershy willingly spent so much time to make the entire thing possible made me quite hot by the time the action begun. The only real issue I found is that you didn't spend enough attention (for my personal liking) to her crotch tits and privates... I'd love to hear how they were the first thing to get affected just because how soft and tender they are with little fur and no other protection... Not to mention that she was constantly rubbing herself thus helping the juices sip into her tender flesh and pour inside her love tunnel.
BTW, that is the only problem I found with you description of digestion: the acids would pool into her pussy due to combination of her outer lips getting dissolved and constant clopping and then proceed to eat through her cervix to get right into the womb. Speaking of personal experience I can guarantee you that no matter how soft the underbelly of an equine is, the other path would give in much sooner than what you've described in the fic =P
It would probably be nice to hear how her clopping methods changed over time with her privates getting slowly eaten away due to her lowing ministrations and relentless stomach juices working to turn every part of her body (even the most sacred ones) into sustenance for a wild beast.
In any case, I'm eagerly waiting for more from you and I hope you will give what I said above a thought! =)
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Posted by ViperBits 8 years ago Report
Also, forgot to mention that I love your attempt to justify and explain all unrealistic aspects in your story. I LOVE my vore realistic, that's why I'm all into hard digestion, hard vore and cooking vore and not just same-size swallow-and-keep-it-in-you-tummy stuff.
BTW, I have an interesting idea about how innate magic of certain pony tribes can help them last longer in harsh conditions (like in a stomach). It's basically just examples of useful qualities like pegasi recycling air or requiring less of it due to being able to fly at high altitudes, as well as a theory what happens with the host during and after the magical reserves are drained. If you are interested, I can PM it to you or post it here =P
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Posted by Vraddock 8 years ago Report
Well, I'll see if I can address all of these. First, yes, I am certainly planning to write more (it's just that I'm an annoyingly slow writer.) Though I'm currently collaborating with Cainiam on his Fallout: Equestria Interactive story. I heavily recommnd checking it out, as it's got lots of vore, digestion, and all of those wonderful things, and you can help influence where the story goes! (Here's a link to the most recent bad end: http://aryion.com/g4/view/310246)
Second, I LOVE cooking/cannibalism vore, so don't worry about that!
Now this bit, you're right, I needed to spend more time on her crotch. I'm loath to change these after the fact, but new stories are definitely going to have this in mind, and probably be better for it.
And finally, feel free to PM me what you're thinking. Just random thoughts about it is cool, and I'm still taking requests (as long as you don't mind the afore-mentioned slow writing.)
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Posted by sevensix 7 years ago Report
>personal experience
...Experience dissolving animals in acid?
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Posted by eatmeplease 7 years ago Report
Absolutely awesome! I love how utterly horny it made her, and Lyra kneading her away was amazing~
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Posted by Slimshod 5 years ago Report
The level of detail and extent to which Fluttershy went to enjoying herself as she digested was an absolute thrill. Her experience inside the snake and her actions with all of the juicy details was a ton of fun to read. Lyra's part in all of it only made it better with her actions towards the end. Just...UNF, very good writing and detail dude.
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Posted by DrKillianNight 5 years ago Report
Would love to see a sequel
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Posted by Arbibi 1 year ago Report
I spent several months searching this wonderful story
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