Spice of Life: Mistaken Identity
 
The shiny Umbreon smiled happily to himself as he wandered through the town. It was a beautiful sunny day in Clearspring, Summer was in full swing and Ebony couldn't have been happier with how things were going. The air smelled like cooked food, music filled the streets... the town felt like a paradise made just for him.
 
Ebony grinned as he made his way over to one of the nearby food stalls and leaned up to speak to the pokemon standing behind it, having to place both his paws on the counter just to reach eye-level with the apron-clad Ampharos. “Two big apples, please!”
 
“Hmph, I'm not falling for that one again!” she snapped back at him, leaving the Umbreon backing off in alarm as she crossed her arms over her chest, “Nice try, but fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.”
 
“Wha- What are you talking about?” Ebony blinked as he looked up at her, tilting his head slightly and allowing his pierced ears to go lopsided, “I haven't done anything.”
 
“Oh, you haven't done anything YET. But you will!” The Ampharos wagged her finger at him as she moved the apples out of the Umbreon's reach, “I'll say, 'Here are your two apples' and you'll say, 'Thanks, here are your blackberries.' and then-” her cheeks flushed, “Well, you know what happens next. But I'm not falling for it again you little prankster!”
 
“Blackberries?” The Umbreon tilted his head the other way, only for his cheeks to flush and his tail to suddenly curl between his legs as he blushed at the accusation, “I-I wouldn't say something like that. Where would you get an idea like that?”
 
“You know very well, now get out of here before I do something I regret!” The Ampharos snapped at him before picking up a banana from the stand and tossing it at the Umbreon, who swiftly ducked under it and began to flee, “Ha! How'd you like them apples, Rune?”
 
The Umbreon could only let out a startled cry as he ducked behind another of the stalls for cover, watching as apples and aubergines flew over his head. He breathed out a little sigh of relief as they stopped coming before shaking his head. “I thought the pokemon around here were nice.”
 
“HEY!” A voice bellowed behind him. Ebony's heart stopped as he glanced up, finding himself face-to-face with the growling stomach of a Seismitoad, “Don't you even think about stealing from me again, you little thief.”
 
“Thief? B-but I haven't seen you in my whole life. I don't even know what you sell!” the Umbreon yelped, though as he took a curious glance to the top of the stall he saw the biggest collection of carved wooden Psyducks he had ever seen. “Oh hey, these are kind of cool. Did you make all of these yourself?”
 
“Yeah, and you should know, you took one just last week!” the toad growled at him as he grabbed him by his tail and lifted him off the ground. “I think it's about time you paid me back. If you're going to act like a wild pokemon, I guess I should too.” he drooled as his slimy tongue emerged from his mouth and ran over the Umbreon's face, causing him to struggle and splutter, “I'd say eating you oughta cover my losses.”
 
“I-I don't know what you're talking about-” Ebony insisted futily as he was brought closer to the toad's hungry mouth. He put his paws against each of the trader's jaws and pushed back in a desperate attempt to keep himself on the outside of the Seismitoad, “P-please, let me go! I'm not a theif, I swear!”
 
“Hey, what do you think you're doing?” A voice cried, leaving Ebony breathing out a sigh of relief as he glanced over his shoulder at the furious Delcatty that was quickly walking towards the two. Though the closer she got the more her glare turned towards him rather than the one eating him, “You think you can just eat him before I slap him for mooning me?”
 
“Oh... sorry about that.” The Seismitoad replied as he carried the Umbreon away from his mouth and onto the floor before the Delcatty, “Don't take too long, alright? I'm pretty hungry.”
 
“Oh, this won't take long.” The cat grinned as she began to prowl towards Ebony. The Umbreon quickly backed off in response, though as he found his rear pressing against the Seismitoad's stomach and heard it growl again he suddenly bolted to the left and dashed off further into the village. He could hear the two pokemon yelling and their feet hitting the ground as they chased after him. “He's getting away! Everyone, it's Rune! Let's get him!”
 
All at once it seemed like every pokemon in Clearspring was chasing after him. He couldn't make out what they were saying, but they all seemed to have some kind of punishment lined up for him. Whoever this 'Rune' pokemon was, they were going to get off scott-free while Ebony took his place. The Umbreon could feel his chest beginning to burn as his paws became weaker and weaker, as he raced between two of the houses he could feel his legs preparing to give way and leave him to the mercy of the mob.
 
A paw grabbed him by the purple scarf on his tail and yanked him forcefully back, leaving his head crashing against the metal trashcan. He let out a groan but soon found a paw moving to his muzzle to quieten him as the horde charged past both him and his saviour and continued to stampede off into the distance.
 
“That was close... man, you must've really pissed them off.” The pokemon whispered into his ear, still remaining behind him as he slowly moved his forepaw from his mouth and allowed him to speak. “You alright, buddy?”
 
“I am for now.” Ebony breathed out a sigh of relief as he shuffled out of the pokemon's grip and peeked around the corner of the building to watch the crowd continuing to race along, kicking up clouds of dust wherever they went. “Those pokemon seemed to think my name was Rune and I had done all sorts of things to them, I don't understand why.”
 
“Pfft, really?” The voice behind Ebony snickered. As the Umbreon turned to face him he finally saw that his saviour was another Umbreon, and like him he had bright blue rings instead of yellow ones, “Whoops. Sorry about that, I didn't think there was another shiny Umbreon in town... heh, bree~”
 
“Y-you're Rune?” Ebony gawked before turning back towards the alleyway, “You've got to go tell them the truth. They sounded like they were going to string me up by my tail for all the things you've done!”
 
“It was just a couple of pranks, no big deal.” Rune shrugged as he began to paw playfully at the metal ring protuding from the other Umbreon's tail, “How did they even mix us up? We don't look anything alike. You've got all these accessories and I'm butt-naked.”
 
“They probably though I was you in disguise.” Ebony replied with a gentle sigh as he moved his tail out of Rune's reach, “But it wasn't all pranks, that Seismitoad told me that I-, well -you-, took one of his carved Psyducks.”
 
“Those weren't free? They looked free. Besides, I needed to trade it for candy.” The Umbreon replied before rolling onto his back and wagging his tail happily, “Have you ever had candy? It's so good. I can't believe we didn't have it out in the wild! Bree~”
 
“Please, Rune. This could ruin my chances of staying here.” Ebony begged him, his ears wilting as he glanced back to the street to ensure they were still safe, “I've just settled down in Clearspring, I don't want to have to leave again just because everyone thinks I'm you.”
 
“Alright, alright. Jeez, guilt-trip much.” Rune waved his paw dismissively before rolling onto his front and getting up. After taking a moment to shake off the dirt he gestured for him to follow, “C'mon, I know a place we can lay low until this all blows over.”
 
“Are you sure they won't find us?” Ebony asked as he began to follow after the other Umbreon tentatively, keeping himself as low to the ground as possible. At this point, it almost looked as though he were trying to pass off as the other Umbreon's shadow, “You know, if you just faced them and apologized-”
 
“Yeah, no. The time for apologizing is way past... like WAY past.” he replied as he began to walk on ahead, “Like, there's this rock in Crazy Canyon that's shaped like a turnip, and we're out here. That's how past I am getting away with everything with just an apology.”
 
“That's quite far.” Ebony blinked, unsure of where the 'Crazy Canyon' even was. He glanced over his shoulder once more to make sure they weren't being followed before looking back to the Umbreon leading him, “How far is this hiding place of yours?”
 
“Just up the street. Ever heard of the Den?” Rune grinned, wagging his tail as he continued to walk calmly up the street. He looked over his shoulder at the smaller Umbreon, “It's pretty much the best hiding place in town, since only those who are looking for it find it. I'd bet no one would even think to look for us there.”
 
Ebony nodded a little in agreement as he continued after the Umbreon... the Den? He hadn't heard of it, he just hoped he wasn't going to end up somewhere he didn't want to be. But of course, anywhere would be better than the stomach of one of the angry mob members... or worse, several of them.
 
* * *
 
Cyn purred to herself as she leaned against the front desk, waving off another customer as he stumbled out from an 'overnight stay' in the Hunger Room. With her adventuring badge broken and it's replacement taking 'two-to-five days' to arrive, she found herself stuck working at the Den. It wasn't as though she minded, but she had swiftly learned that when she couldn't do something, she wanted to do it more than anything else.
 
It was only when she noticed the large crowd charging towards the Den lead by two Umbreons that she realized what she really wanted was some piece and quiet. The taller Umbreon barged in through the front door, quickly followed by the shorter, more accessorized one. Rune grabbed the nearest filing cabinet and pushed it against the door while Ebony laid on his back, breathing heavily.
 
“I just... -pant- wanted... -pant- an apple.” the Umbreon whimpered, covering up his face with his paws as he sulked into them.
 
Cyn raised an eyebrow at the shiny Umbreon, still trying to make heads or tails of the situation, though as Rune finally finished barricading the door from the angry mob she was able to meet his gaze with a stern glare. “..Well?” she demanded.
 
“Turns out karma really is a bitch. Heh.” Rune chuckled awkwardly, scratching the back of his head as he glanced down at Ebony, “The town is convinced that Ebony here is me in disguise, and I'm some sort of substitute. I'd say this is lucky, but I feel like the whole 'running for our lives' thing was partly my fault.”
 
“You don't say.” Ebony mumbled, finally managing to roll onto his side as his breathing slowed down to his normal rate. He quickly got to his feet and ran over to the desk, putting his front paws on it and lowering his head as he pleaded with the Liepard behind it, “You've got to help us, Miss! I-I don't know how we're going to calm them down.”
 
“Alright kid, relax. I know how to deal with angry mobs. This one looks smaller than the one that showed up for the grand opening of the Den.” Cyn flicked her ears back as she moved out from behind the desk, “You two get in the corner, I'll deal with the townsfolk.”
 
“Are you kidding? They'll eat you alive.” Rune gasped as the shiny Liepard began pulling apart his blockade, leaving the terrifying crowd becoming more and more visible. The two Umbreon scampered to the corner just as Cyn opened the door and moved out to address the crowd.
 
“Cyn, you're harbouring a criminal. Give him to us so justice can be done!” A Dedenne near the front of the crowd squeaked, flailing her tiny arms, “He's been nothing but a pest since he got here, he's always playing pranks on us and stealing things! He threatened to eat me just the other day.”
 
“He's still adapting to life outside of a Mystery Dungeon, give him a break.” Cyn breathed out a sigh of frustration before looking over her shoulder at the two Umbreon, “Besides that, you've just been chasing an innocent pokemon around Clearspring. Hardly a warm welcome for him.”
 
“An innocent pokemon? You've got to be kidding me!” The Seismitoad yelled out, leaving the crowd in an uproar once again, “Are you defending Rune's actions just because he's a wild pokemon?”
 
“No, I'm defending Ebony's actions because you're all too blinded by your own rage to see he's not Rune.” Cyn snapped at them, her tail lashing back and forth as she turned her attention to the smaller Umbreon, “Come on, Ebony.”
 
The Umbreon gulped nervously, then slowly began to step towards the crowd. He trembled and shook, and his pierced tail twitched anxiously on each step. As he got closer he found himself pulled into a protective hug by the Liepard, which was comforting until she grabbed him by the head and pushed him forward towards the crowd, “Look at his eyes, notice anything?”
 
“They're yellow, just like every other shiny Umbreon.” The Dedenne replied as she crossed her arms over her round body. Her foot began to tap against the ground impatiently as she looked over the Umbreon before her, “What does that have to do with anything?”
 
“They're yellow like every other shiny Umbreon... except for Rune.” Cyn replied, glancing over at the other pokemon in the room. The crowd leaned forward to check, and sure enough the shiny Umbreon's eyes were blue instead. “You jerks have been chasing this poor, defenseless Umbreon around town just because he was shiny. I think you all owe him an apology.”
 
“Please let go of my face.” Ebony whimpered to the Liepard, leaving Cyn quickly removing her paws from his head. After taking a moment to rub the part of his neck that wasn't covered by his red collar he glanced up to find the crowd looking at him once again, only this time he could see guilt in their eyes rather than anger.
 
“I'm so sorry, Ebony. I just got caught up in the moment.” The Dedenne bowed her head, pretty soon everyone was giving their own apologies, some even moving forward to pat the Umbreon on the head or offer him a hug. Ebony held back his tears of relief until everyone had said their apologies... at which point they all glared angrily towards Rune once more, “And now to deal with what we came for, Rune must pay!”
 
“Wh-what? What did I do?!” Rune gawked, quickly moving to hide behind the desk as the crowd began to move past Ebony and towards him instead.
 
“On top of everything else, you almost made us hurt an innocent Umbreon who just happened to look like you would in disguise.” The Seismitoad replied, puffing out his chest before punching into his hand, “I'd say that's worth an eating, but I'm going to let these folk do what they want first!”
 
“Hey, back off.” Cyn snapped as she moved infront of the other Umbreon, leaving Ebony hurrying to the side of the room to avoid being trampled by the rest of the crowd. “I'm his team leader, if anyone's going to punish him it'll be me.”
 
“Hmph, fine. Let's see what you've got.” the Seismitoad replied, seemingly speaking for the crowd as they all settled down once more. Anyone who had been to the Den knew that Cyn was somewhat of a 'Queen of Punishment', whatever she did would be worse than all their efforts combined. The Liepard grinned as she turned towards the Umbreon, slowly advancing on him.
 
“You've been a bad boy, Rune.” She purred into his ear. Rune could only blush furiously as he looked up at her, stumbling backwards and landing on his rear. He shut his eyes as the Liepard loomed over him... then he felt an unexpected yank on his scruff. As he opened his eyes again he found himself dangling from his scruff as the Liepard shook him back and forth, “You. Will. Act. Like. A. Civilized. Pokemon. In. My. Freaking. Town!” the Liepard growled with each swing before finally dropping him and giving him a hard slap on the rear, “Say you're sorry!”
 
“S-sorry.” Rune mumbled awkwardly, rubbing his scruff as he lowered himself to the floor. All in all he had gotten off pretty easy, a little scruffing and a single spank was a lot less than he was expecting from the notorious Liepard.
 
“Starting today through to the end of this week, anything involving Rune at the Den will be discounted at 20%, plus the standard entry fee.” The Liepard purred, leaving the Umbreon staring up at her in disbelief. Cyn casually made her way back around to the desk and sat at it, her paws crossed calmly over eachother, “Have a nice day.”
 
The crowd slowly turned to each other as they tried to figure out whether the deal was worth it, though given how red Rune's face was they decided to call it even. As they slowly dispersed the Umbreon finally managed to compose himself enough to form a sentence, “Wh-what the heck, Cyn? Don't you know what they'll do to me?!”
 
“I know it'll be big business for the Den,” The Liepard replied with a little smile as she leaned over the desk and put her paw on the Umbreon's head, “And besides, how many of those uptight pokemon do you think would even have the balls to come in here? No one's going to admit to coming to a fetish club, Rune. You'll only see maybe three or four of those guys.”
 
“R-really?” the Umbreon blinked, still finding himself blushing as he glanced over his shoulder at the departing crowd. His trademark smirk returned to his face as he turned around and wiggled his rear at Cyn, “You know, you could've given me a couple more for good measure. I'm a 'bad boy', right?”
 
“Uuhh..” Ebony blinked, unsure of whether he should be witnessing this. The Liepard and Umbreon both glanced over at him in unison, and he raised his paw in a little wave, “S-so, um. Thanks for saving me, you guys.”
 
“What can I say? I'm a regular hero.” Cyn replied with a little grin as she examined her claws. Her tail slipped around the side of the desk and gave Rune a little swat on the rear, “Head down to the Den, Rune. I'll be there in a sec.”
 
“Bree~” the Umbreon replied with a blush before racing through the door behind the Liepard. Ebony managed to get a quick glimpse of the dark walls and neon lights beyond it, revealing the set of stairs that lead down into the underbelly of the building.
 
“So, do you have somewhere to be, or did you want to come in? I figure the least I could do is give you a free pass after all the trouble one of my employees caused you.” Cyn replied, winking at the smaller Umbreon, “You're kind of cute with all those accessories. I'm sure I could find something to make you smile.”
 
“Th-thanks.” Ebony blushed as he adjusted the scarf on his tail and tugged nervously at his collar, wanting to make sure they were still in the same place after everything he had gone through that day, “I've never heard of the Den before, but... I mean, I guess if you're okay with it, I'd like to check it out.”
 
As Cyn went to open the door to the Den, it swung open and almost knocked her off her paws. The Ninetales who had opened it stood in the doorway, his tails flared out to block the way to the Den as his purple eyes scanned the room and finally locked onto Ebony, “So... it really is you.” he huffed.
 
“Uh-” Ebony choked. He had no idea what to say or do, the Ninetales surely couldn't have mistaken him for Rune seeing as how they must have passed eachother on the stairs, “I-I'm sorry, I don't... know if I know you.”
 
“You. Don't. Know?” The Ninetales replied incredulously as he began to advance towards the smaller pokemon, leaving the Liepard behind him stunned and unable to do anything but watch, “Last summer you entered a Beauty Contest, you were set to go against the reigning champion of Sinnoh, but he 'mysteriously' came down with a cold the day before the contest, allowing you to rank above him.” The Ninetales loomed over the Umbreon, his tails flailing angrily as he stared down at him with his sharp purple eyes. “That champion was me, Spice Blaise, and your little scheme put a mark on my record. The only time I was truly defeated, and you won by default.”
 
“Wh-what? I didn't- I had no idea.” the Umbreon pleaded as he looked up at the Ninetales, his little heart racing as the fire-type loomed over him. “I-I mean it, Spice. I didn't do anything, I'm sorry you got sick before the contest but it wasn't my fault. I didn't 'scheme' against you.”
 
“Oh really? So it was just a coincidence that the Fennekin I ate before he was set to go on stage had a cold. A likely story!” The Ninetales growled, putting his paw forcefully down on the Umbreon, “You two collaborated, he got a cold and allowed me to eat him just so I'd be too sick to enter and you would rank above me!”
 
“H-he allowed you to eat him?” Ebony blinked, wondering if the Ninetales understood how insane that sounded. It seemed that no matter what he did he couldn't get through to him, so eventually all he could do was gulp nervously and close his eyes, “Wh-what are you going to do to me?”
 
“Something I should've done the night of that contest.” Spice murred in response before opening his mouth wide, his drool dripping over the Umbreon's face as he moved it closer and closer to it. Ebony could hear the fox's stomach growling hungrily, and his hot tongue running over his face as he murred at his flavour, “Don't worry, Ebony... you'll still be number two~”
 
Ebony could only stare in petrified terror as the Ninetales' maw drew in his head, leaving his face covered in his drool as the fox's throat was illuminated by the ring on his forehead. He closed his eyes and awaited the first gulp, only to be suddenly pulled back into daylight as the Ninetales reeled back.
 
“Spice, down! Heel!” Cyn snapped at the Ninetales as she pulled him back, using his scarf as a leash as her tail twisted one of his own. After struggling against her briefly he eventually gave up and just sat at her side. “You can't just eat clients before they get into the Den, you know.”
 
“But he ruined my perfect record~” Spice whined pathetically, seeming a lot less intimidating than he had been before. As Cyn finally released his tail he began to nurse it with his paws, his purple eyes returned to the Umbreon, “I'd let you keep his collar and scarf, they'd both go great with your fur.”
 
The Liepard blinked at that, and slowly reached out her tail over to the Umbreon. She pressed it lightly to the red collar on his neck, then to the purple scarf on his tail. “...Oh yeah.” she mused before shaking her head, “But that's not the point, we're meant to be trying to keep customers coming back for more, you're not going to get him to come back by scaring him.”
 
“I'd think you wouldn't get me to come back by eating me.” the Umbreon blinked, shuffling away from the tail and guarding his tail-scarf as he glanced up at the Ninetales, “I-I mean, I wouldn't really be going anywhere if Spice ate me, right?”
 
“Oh no, you wouldn't... not in a hurry anyway.” The fox grinned devilishly as he swayed his tails back and forth, “But think about it this way; if you allowed yourself to be devoured you'd be setting an example for any other pokemon who thinks they can defeat me in a Beauty contest... not to mention I'd let you pick where you ended up, though personally I'd recommend my hips, or perhaps my luxurious tails?”
 
“He'll choose you if he chooses you, Spice. Who knows, he might decide to go for a different predator.” Cyn told him, giving Ebony a little wink as she leaned over the desk, “But if you're looking for a -real- answer to your question, we use Reviver Seeds to bring back any devoured pokemon, you'd lose a couple of hours while you got digested, but that's about it.”
 
“R-really?” the Umbreon blinked, it almost took any threat the Ninetales once had away from him... and left him morbidly curious as he recalled the vision of the Ninetales' throat as it opened to accept him. A blush crossed over his muzzle, “Are you sure Spice would take a Reviver seed after eating me though?”
 “You'd find out when you got to my stomach, though personally I don't think a little cheater like you has anything to lose by trying.” Spice replied with a murr as he swayed his tails gently, “So, Ebony, would you like to become a part of something greater?”
 
“You're one to talk about cheating, Spice.”
 
The group turned to the door as they heard the voice. The chocolate brown Riolu standing there crossed his arms over his chest and narrowed his eyes on the Ninetales before making his way over to the Umbreon, “Are you okay, Ebony? I heard about what happened.”
 
“Just a little confusion, I'm alright.” Ebony replied with an awkward chuckle before nuzzling at the Riolu to greet him. He then glanced over at Spice, “Though it looks like I might be in even more trouble now, Spice is mad at me for placing above him in a contest he wasn't able to attend.”
 
“Because you tricked me with your little Fennekin Flu meal!” Spice yipped, stamping his paws angrily on the ground as his tails flailed about, “I demand retribution, I demand justice, I demand-”
 
“A beauty contest.” Cyn blinked, her eyes widening in revelation as a sly grin spread across her muzzle, “Right here in Clearspring, you two go head to head and we settle this once for all.” she looked over at Blaine, “I figure the Den could 'sponsor' it, we need to get our public image back after this morning.”
 
“Maybe I could go around and see if anyone would be interested in judging, I'm sure the pokemon in Clearspring would enjoy something like that.” The Riolu replied before glancing over to Ebony, “And I'm sure you could kick Spice's tails at a fair contest. If we can get some insomniscopes for the judges, Spice's hypnosis won't help him.” he looked over at the Ninetales, “He'd have to play fairly, for once.”
 
“I played fairly long before I learned Hypnosis, which is -also- fair, I might add.” Spice replied, looking over his claws idly before grinning at Ebony, “But I would like to reclaim my position as the Beauty Champion of Sinnoh, I accept your challenge, Ebony!”
 
“R-right.” The Umbreon blinked. This had never been his challenge, it seemed to be a combination of his friend wanting to see justice done and Cyn wanting to make some more money... as he glanced to the Ninetales' slim but growling gut, he realized that this was going to be his toughest contest yet. He wouldn't be competing for ribbons, he'd be competing for his life.