Crazy vore encounter is right. What the hell did i just read? Truthfully, this was rather interesting. But in another instance, i think it could use some work. But then in yet another instance, i am not an author, so i have no place to judge. However, i honestly think that if there were more detail here, longer scenes there, and overall things seeming more connected in some way i don't yet see, it could be one spectacular masterpiece. But like i said, I'm not an author so i have no place to judge on what you write and how you write it. Hmm... Do i seem like a critic to you right now? I honestly have no clue.
Thanks, am glad you liked it. Also happy your took the time to leave the comment. I don't mind a little bit respectable criticism. Better than none what so ever.
Well, my comment on your previous story, plus I also realized that you use the " -ing" form of verbs very often, in placed where it makes more sense to use the present tense, e.g. "being" should be "is". This change, and the one I previously mentioned, will improve your writing so that it can be experienced easier.
By using the "-ing" and "would", it distances your readers. It tells a story about what *would* happen in the future, implying that there is an "if" that keeps it from happening. Instead, if you use the plain present or plain past tense of verbs, then the story "is" happening and the reader can enjoy it as it happens.
:/ Not meaning to give a lecture, I hope this is seen as useful and not like an attack, the ideas really are decently good.
Posted by StrangeFetishes 7 years ago Report
Crazy vore encounter is right. What the hell did i just read? Truthfully, this was rather interesting. But in another instance, i think it could use some work. But then in yet another instance, i am not an author, so i have no place to judge. However, i honestly think that if there were more detail here, longer scenes there, and overall things seeming more connected in some way i don't yet see, it could be one spectacular masterpiece. But like i said, I'm not an author so i have no place to judge on what you write and how you write it. Hmm... Do i seem like a critic to you right now? I honestly have no clue.
Posted by bladeson_X 7 years ago Report
Thanks, am glad you liked it. Also happy your took the time to leave the comment. I don't mind a little bit respectable criticism. Better than none what so ever.
Posted by NightRoller 4 years ago Report
Well, my comment on your previous story, plus I also realized that you use the " -ing" form of verbs very often, in placed where it makes more sense to use the present tense, e.g. "being" should be "is". This change, and the one I previously mentioned, will improve your writing so that it can be experienced easier.
By using the "-ing" and "would", it distances your readers. It tells a story about what *would* happen in the future, implying that there is an "if" that keeps it from happening. Instead, if you use the plain present or plain past tense of verbs, then the story "is" happening and the reader can enjoy it as it happens.
:/ Not meaning to give a lecture, I hope this is seen as useful and not like an attack, the ideas really are decently good.