The dawning of another year
Posted by GREGOLE 6 years ago
My resolution for 2018 is to not get angry over stupid things quite so much. 2017 was a parade of stress, and it did not have to be one!
2017 was also the year I began hormone replacement therapy, and as much time as I spent emotionally preparing myself for what kind of psychotic breakdown my brain would go through, I honestly want to say I've been more levelheaded ever since I started. It wasn't until I cut my spiro dose in half that I began to fall back into my usual hypersensitive self, and after recently going back to the original dose, I already feel calmer. I am SERIOUSLY hoping things stay that way, because there's something else I want to change this year; the way I communicate with people here.
The vore art community is one of the best things in my life. It's a source of constant creative stimulation, it's a small business that ensures I always have a little bit of money coming in, and the array of people I've met have just... I can't overstate how much they mean to me.
These past couple of months have been one thing going wrong after another, but throughout it all, my friends and colleagues have stood by me and helped me make it to the end. My emotions have been a rollercoaster and a half, but y'all have stuck by me anyway.
I remember when I was terrified to approach people, watching them from afar. It took a lot of time before I was confident enough to come out and actually start talking to them, learning just how wonderful they can be. And now... well now I'm still terrified of talking to people. If anything, more than ever! But it was worth it.
As an artist, I know I can be distant. There have been a lot of times where people have tried to start conversations and all I have to say is about business. Believe me, it is not because I don't care! The truth is, I am a VERY emotional person. On a good day, I feel things stronger than is probably normal for people. When I get invested in things, it becomes an event. And that many events all at once is exhausting! When I speak to people on this website, I'm brief and to-the-point because there's literally so many thoughts and feelings rushing through me that it's difficult to articulate anything but the basics. Y'know, the same reason Devastator's more simple-minded than any of the individual constructicons.
Because of this, I try to speak through actions over words. There's only so many different ways one can gush about an artist's work, so I do fanart. It's an excuse to ask questions about the characters involved, go over ideas, just generally interact with something I enjoy. I host streams, then fall asleep at the canvas because I just crave being surrounded by everyone.
I guess where I'm going with this is that I'm quiet, and that can probably come off as cold to some people. But every day, I'm excited to come here, and every day I'm thankful for the people I've met. And I'm going to try and communicate that better from now on.
Posted by Bright 6 years ago Report
Happy new year!
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Posted by crufl 6 years ago Report
here's hoping the next year is easier on ya
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