Hiya! So, the good news is that i'm not dead! The bad news is, we're over one year on the waitlist to complete my commissions! And i feel like shit! Cause i'm in burnout again! And i feel like a failure! And now i have to go through my gallery and manually restore everything! Yaaaaaaay!
Sigh. So, slightly less sarcastically, i have been seriously wanting to die since January, and i know you're sick of hearing this.
EDIT:
Ok, now that we're feeling slightly less self pitying. Hi. I have autism and a diasocciative disorder and they're kicking my ass. I've been retraumatized throughout december and january and it's gotten to the point where i break out in shaking, cold sweats, and my brain shuts down when i do the dishes, let alone write. I am in therapy, i am working to adjust my meds, and i'm trying to get back on the ball.
I know this past year has been a shitstorm of me telling you that i'm broken and that's because it's been a shitstorm of me finding new ways to be broken.
It kicked off last february with a break down and instead of healing i charged into writing and worked myself into another breakdown. And then as soon as i could write, i wrote myself into another. And another. And then i started trauma therapy to try and stop the breakdowns and found out that the abuse split me into 16 people and counting.
And then as soon as i started to heal and write again, my abusers came back into my life. And then they fucked me over in january of this year.
I have had a shitty year by a lot of metrics. You know what hasn't been shitty?
Y'all. Y'all have stood by me for a year and i can't thank you enough. As i was struggling, y'all have been right there trying to tell me to heal and i just...have been focused on kicking work out. And i have created some amazing stories this year in partnership with y'all. Your ideas are breathtaking and wonderful. And i am so happy you exist.
I am going to beat this. I am going to come back stronger. And i will get to the bottom of my commission list.
Thank you. For everything. I love you all.
Posted by KojiroTheWolf 5 years ago Report
Welcome back! Its good to see ya again
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Posted by GrandGrandEater 5 years ago Report
Motivation is hard to come by, especially watching youtube overseas, F*** you ARTICL-13!!!
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Posted by zidanes123 5 years ago Report
Take care of yourself first and foremost. I hope you're doing well now.
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Posted by fsklrk 5 years ago Report
I'm a newish reader of your work, but you're probably my favourite writer here, and I'd just like to say that I really believe you'll beat this and I wish you the best of luck. i only hope you are putting yourself first, and take all the time you need for the commissions. your health and well-being are more important!
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Posted by folcon 5 years ago Report
I'm glad to hear you are doing okay and feeling better. I've been worried not seeing any news from you. Things will get better. Know all of us are rooting for you.
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Posted by gromyko 4 years ago Report
But ― hey, look! "Underage" stuff seems to be back. That's bound to make you feel better, right?
Of course that means I'm liable to beg/bug you to upload some of the non-vore/gore stuff you had on other sites in the past, like the one about the boy who takes a dare to go naked, & becomes the town cumdump, or the inexplicably gentle, romantic two-parter about boy/dog prostitution.
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