I almost lost my older sister.

Posted by MaximumImpulse 4 years ago

 

For the past couple weeks I have been out of my mind worried, stressed, in tears, panicky, and overall unable to focus and that is because my older sister almost died. She contracted Lyme disease over a year ago but the doctors in her area didn't catch it early at all so it progressed (younger sister mentioned she caught some other stuff and had other complications because of this but I didn't ask for details because it was just too hard to get fully into) until she had to be life star helicoptered to a different hospital 200 miles away to save her life. I have been talking back and forth with family and since I live so far away from them, I have been freaking the heck out. This past sunday I finally got to see her and where she is going to be for... well several several months. She has a tube going through the front of her neck so she can breathe. She can't speak and she is slowly regaining control over her hands. She's such a strong person and seeing her like that was shocking. She recognizes everyone and seemed happy to see us. After I got home that day, I thought I was calm and all right and being like okay things are fine she's gonna get better but that night I shattered. All the stress and all the worry and all the thoughts of my father losing a second child (I already have a deceased older brother that my parents never fully recovered from) just got to me. I detached from social media while my emotions and mind were just not working with me at all. I was scared. More scared than anything I've ever been in my life thus far. But after that break, I ended up sleeping for a very long time. After I woke up, I started to feel much better. My sister has a super long road to go for any sort of recovery but we are pulling together as a family to help and support as much as we can. Even now, thinking about this situation too much is making me want to cry again but I'm trying not to. I'm praying that nothing else bad happens to her. I'm so worried and just want her to be home with the family but there's no end in sight for her hospital stay. She needs those machines to live and that is an extremely scary.

Now moving forward, I'm still not quite ready to be super social but I am getting back to working on things since my mind isn't all over the place as much and will be sending out wips and art as quickly as I can. I'm just sorry that I literally couldn't handle everything all at once and had to just get myself to a more stable place before coming back.

I spoke about a bit about my family situation on my twitter accounts because that was all I could manage at the time so some of you already knew that something was incredibly wrong.

I'm honestly so excited about the art I get to create and now it's becoming my rock to cling to while I try to keep calm about all this. I'm so much more appreciative for what I get to do and am semi going to be obsessing about it;;;

OH and my younger sister is organizing a benefit to help raise money for our older sister because this whole thing is going to be amazingly expensive. I am so fucking grateful for her for being so strong to handle all that. It's also easier for her because she still lives up north where I'm originally from and she can get a bunch of support and have an easier way to contact people. I'm gonna help out by doing a couple paintings to sell at the benefit. I hope I can do at least two but we'll see. If she sets up an online donation thing, I'll be sharing the links around.

Thank you so much everyone for always being so kind and supportive, I literally love you and would not trade any of you for anything.
Please take care of yourselves and please don't take the family and friends you love for granted.