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I'm THIS close to making a "Guide to not being a creep to girls"

Permanent Linkby Chameleonette on Fri Nov 22, 2013 11:29 pm

In a way, I guess my standards are admittedly already pretty high in the sense that I generally role-play on another site entirely, with 95% female population of RPers. I'm used to being treated with general respect, not getting hit on by strangers, and definitely not having the fact that I'm female be made a huge deal out of.

But when I think about it, my standards aren't really high at all. I'm just used to being treated like a human being and an individual and not like an 'elusive female creature that must be caught and charmed and guilted/plea for sympathy if that doesn't work'.

I've blocked a fair number of people by now from contacting me on AIM. I can't deal with the blushing and glomping and generally being WAY TOO OVER-FRIENDLY from the very first message. And also, when I tell you that our preferences do not match up and I don't wish to RP with you because of it, DO NOT TRY TO GUILT ME INTO IT. I do NOT take kindly to such behavior.

This most recent one literally started listing off a bunch of their disorders, saying that I must hate them, and basically trying to make me feel like SHIT when I know next to nothing about them, just because I refused an RP session. And this wasn't someone I arranged an RP session with beforehand---it was someone who contacted me on AIM out of the blue.

In all honestly, though, do you think guys here really could use a guideline that other girls could chip in with me on about how to treat a woman like a human being and not freak out just because she's female and make her feel uncomfortable/act clingy when you know next to nothing about her? (And the guilt shit, too, of course.) But do you think it would be too pretentious to do so? Or would it actually benefit the site?

That's not to say that every guy on this site is like this by any means. I've known quite a few very respectable gentlemen who have treated me like an individual from the start. And I greatly appreciate that. This type of a guide wouldn't be directed toward them at all. It would be to attempt to steer the ways in which other females are approached by potential RPers or even fans if they're writers/artists.

Anyway, I'm very aware that this happens to A LOT of girls around here. And I can only imagine how much WORSE this would be if I played female pred and not prey. Nonetheless, this kind of behavior is INCREDIBLY off-putting.
Last edited by Chameleonette on Fri Nov 22, 2013 11:49 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Passionate advocate of M/F vore.

My RP Seeking Thread: viewtopic.php?f=31&t=35501
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Re: I'm THIS close to making a "Guide to not being a creep to girls"

Permanent Linkby learner on Sat Nov 23, 2013 12:59 am

I know this is told with a bit of provocative humor and anger toward those who lack the minimum required amount of common sense, but I'd personnaly be interested in such a thing...

I've never used guilt, but I do tend to be over-friendly... I can't help it, I'm like this toward many people I respect/like, I know this can sound creepy sometimes, but I try to change, promise^^

On another level, some of my female RP partner just stop without any warning, and disappear... I assume this is because I've made them uncomfortable at some point, but since I'm never told what I do wrong... I could totally use such a guide...

I'm willing to improve, but when I don't know what I do wrong, I can't really do so^^ looking forward to seeing it
I'm a nice but shy guy
feel free to PM if you feel like =3
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Re: I'm THIS close to making a "Guide to not being a creep to girls"

Permanent Linkby Moebius on Sat Nov 23, 2013 3:18 am

A guide could be even interesting, but the people who feel related to whatever you write is also the kind of person who gets easly offended, so you would get a lot of hate u _u

Oh, the guilt strategy, I know that one way too well. It never works, it just get the things even worst.
I'm quite tempted to share some PMs I get in the past, but of course for respect I would never do such thing. Let's jsut say that I really get what you are talking about.
-Sorry for the bad grammar, my first lenguage is Spanish-
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Re: I'm THIS close to making a "Guide to not being a creep to girls"

Permanent Linkby Dualgunner on Sat Nov 23, 2013 4:04 am

I'm fortunate in that nobody has ever actually tried to guilt me into an RP. Then again my classic dodge is the tried and true "I have homework and can't rp, sorry." That usually gets people off my back, especially because often, well...it's actually true.

A guide would be intriguing to read, definitely. It would be even better if it were a communal project.
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Re: I'm THIS close to making a "Guide to not being a creep to girls"

Permanent Linkby Pegadygor on Sat Nov 23, 2013 6:22 am

Might be a good read, but the people it's going to refer to either
A) won't bother reading it most likely
and
B) are alternatively of the kind who thinks that rules/advice in general don't apply to THEM specifically, because they're different/special/not like all others.
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Re: I'm THIS close to making a "Guide to not being a creep to girls"

Permanent Linkby Kamelagram on Sat Nov 23, 2013 12:58 pm

I would admit being interested in your list of rules, but I doubt it would do little more then stir up more drama or go completely ignored. To be completely honest, I'm finding a lot of the guys around here fail at even understanding the difference between M/F and F/M.

And I don't mean to sound mean, but I cringed a little when you were so up front with your status in the relationship thread. The reason there are 50 single guys isn't because they're shut ins that are too shy to date, the majority of them have just forgotten how to function in life. Now I'm not saying that is true for everyone and a gross over-exaggeration, bu tyeah... you know...
Beautiful prey,
squirms in my agony,
fuel for my lust.

It's a poor excuse for a haiku, but still one of the better things I have written. XD
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Re: I'm THIS close to making a "Guide to not being a creep to girls"

Permanent Linkby Chameleonette on Sat Nov 23, 2013 1:56 pm

I understand the mixed feedback on this. I can see there might be a few like learner, who would actually want to read such a thing to get a better idea of how not to offend and completely put off female partners, but like others have said, a lot of the guys it would be directed at would probably ignore it/have a very defensive or hostile reaction to it. So honestly, I'm not sure. While I'm not really afraid of hate or anything (I'm already pretty sure that there are a fair amount of people out there who do not appreciate my love for male preds, among other things), I also don't want to stir anything up into a drama.

Also, I wouldn't call them "rules". Like I said, they would be considered guidelines, which isn't as invasive as telling someone that they MUST act like this, but rather to encourage people to have respect, be courteous, etc.

@Kamelagram - You don't sound mean, but at the same time, I'm not ashamed of my relationship status and I made it clear that I'm not looking and content with being single. I don't think I should honestly have to be concerned with mentioning my status just because others can't come to terms with theirs. *shrugs*
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My RP Seeking Thread: viewtopic.php?f=31&t=35501
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Re: I'm THIS close to making a "Guide to not being a creep to girls"

Permanent Linkby Chameleonette on Sat Nov 23, 2013 3:44 pm

Also, one more thing I want to make clear is that I wouldn't seriously call the thread something like "How Not To Creep On Girls", but something more mellow. My frustrations with another incident last night put a sarcastic and annoyed edge on most of what I wrote. But I wouldn't intend to be offending anyone with the guidelines - it would definitely be more of the encouraging sort. And explaining what is courteous, respectful, and take input from other female players who want to add their two cents from their experiences, as well.
Passionate advocate of M/F vore.

My RP Seeking Thread: viewtopic.php?f=31&t=35501
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Re: I'm THIS close to making a "Guide to not being a creep to girls"

Permanent Linkby Darius1972 on Sat Nov 23, 2013 8:26 pm

Hi Chammy,
If I may, as a male, make some suggestions for your guidelines for "How not to creep on girls."

Now before everyone goes hating on me for this, think about this. As the reader (male or female), of all the websites and forums you have been on, this is not an isolated issue. Women are harassed by guys all the time from fairly innocent flirting to demands of naked pictures and trying to arrange a RL date. This is a very common and very serious problem.

To all males on here contacting females for RP.

1. Read the person's profile, their likes dislikes etc. If you don't like most or all of her likes and dislike all of her dislikes that doesn't mean you should contact her anyway. This is likely not the best RP fit and trying to change someones preferences through guilt and force is not a healthy way to be conducting yourself.

More later
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Re: I'm THIS close to making a "Guide to not being a creep to girls"

Permanent Linkby Darius1972 on Sat Nov 23, 2013 8:56 pm

2. As far as I know, this is not a dating site. Coming onto women and harassing them with requests for intimate details about their RL is not acceptable behavior. Think about this. Would you walk around the mall hitting on women in stores, etc? It wouldn't be long before security was called. If you want to RP with a woman, or anyone, don't hit them up for personal information until maybe you have a comfortable online back and forth and maybe the girl volunteers info on her own.
This leads into 3.

3. If they are sharing info, don't go overboard and move too fast. Don't give your phone number, real name, street address and show a picture of your penis. And don't ask for their info and a picture of their naughty bits. If you were getting along nicely, you won't be after this. This is online sexual harassment.
Now don't scoff at this. I have been told by multiple woman on DeviantArt that this happens. If all that happens is RP, enjoy that. If you strike up a great online friendship, great as well. Just be a friend not a creep. OK.

4. Don't ever guilt, threaten, harass, insult, or be an ass of any sort. Do you do this in public with people you don't know? How about school or work? So why do it on here with a woman you have just met or are RPing with? Don't do it. Be respectful and courteous.

5. If she rejects you for ANY reason, move on! She doesn't want to play anymore or play at all. Her reasons are her own, whether it was something you did or not, you don't need to pester, harass or threaten a reason out of her. If you do you are breaking guideline #4 and you are being an idiot unlikely to be popular in RP circles.

6. This one touches on most of the others but is specific and a common complaint I see and hear about on here. A woman saying prey only does not mean "I was pred first, now it's your turn to vore me." No, prey only is prey only. If you persist you are being an idiot. If you want to be vored by a woman, read this carefully. DO NOT RP WITH PREY ONLY FEMALE PLAYERS! It's not her fault you aren't being vored in the RP, it's yours for not seeking out F pred seeking M prey. A player posting this is a better bet for sure to get what you want. Even then, don't break all the other rules because you have found a F pred. There is still a real person on the other end of that post that will likely not want to see pictures of your penis on first contact.

I could add many more but I'm sure some of the women on here could come up with some better stuff as they are the ones being harassed by the various creeps making their rounds here and on the internet as a whole.

Please feel free to add.
Last edited by Darius1972 on Sat Nov 23, 2013 9:01 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: I'm THIS close to making a "Guide to not being a creep to girls"

Permanent Linkby Indighost on Sat Nov 23, 2013 10:32 pm

I like your idea, Chameleonette, but I think if there was a male user who wanted to learn how to communicate well with women, they would probably have already learned that at the multitude of websites created for that purpose.

For your purposes--avoiding harassment--I would recommend just ignoring/blocking anyone who steps out of line (ie not responding to/reading their messages).

Also:

Keeping your "Seeking RP" profile very strictly and strongly worded with some CAPITAL LETTERS OF WARNING can help.

You could also just pretend to be a dude, although that would probably be too self-effacing.
Last edited by Indighost on Sat Nov 23, 2013 10:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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