User avatar
Chameleonette
---
 
Posts: 1016
Joined: Thu Jul 25, 2013 5:22 pm
Blog: View Blog (129)
Archives
- December 2018
Commissions are now [FILLED and CLOSED]!
   Fri Dec 07, 2018 11:34 am
Update: Commissions + Twitter
   Tue Dec 04, 2018 7:03 pm

+ November 2018
+ August 2017
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ July 2015
+ June 2015
+ May 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013

This very well could be the last straw.

Permanent Linkby Chameleonette on Mon Sep 15, 2014 11:30 am

A recent thread on the forum has pretty much convinced me of this. Nine times out of ten, I'm the only one who speaks up about ill behavior and it's overlooked by nearly everyone else. In many instances.

Someone tried to blame me for my bad experiences with RPing with men from this site, saying that I should be expected to treat role-play as a "sexual and intimate act" and not disconnect myself from it and that I'm too blame for them disrespecting me or treating me poorly (even though my preferences clearly state what I'm looking for and not looking for).

No one said otherwise. I feel like this community can't even accept a woman that isn't afraid to speak her mind or stand up against this bullshit. And I don't feel like I belong here. I'm being told that I should be happy to be a sexual object for men to fap off to if I want to roleplay, and that I'm being UNFAIR to them if I choose not to involve myself personally or accept their overly-friendly attitudes and sexual passes.

I'm disgusted. I'm offended. And I'm in shock that this community stays silent in the face of such things.

I don't even want to hear the "well not everyone is like that". I know that. But when so much of this community is stuck in these views, I don't feel safe here. I don't feel like I can be myself and my own person.
Last edited by Chameleonette on Mon Sep 15, 2014 11:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

Passionate advocate of M/F vore.

My RP Seeking Thread: viewtopic.php?f=31&t=35501
39 Comments Viewed 9254 times
Comments
Next

Re: This very well could be the last straw.

Permanent Linkby Humbug on Mon Sep 15, 2014 12:04 pm

I stayed out of it because I thought you were doing a good job, and making all the points I would have. That's typically how people treat arguments on the forums here.

Well, that and the fact that the heated stuff all happened while I was asleep. And I'm not in the best of places emotionally right now and just came off a heated forum topic myself. But that's less typical and more personal.

Anyway, I got your back on this. Not gonna point-by-point deconstruct everything Mojo said, but...well, you'll probably see if you're of a mind to go back to the topic.
I have finished projects purely out of spite.
User avatar
Humbug
---
 
Posts: 1762
Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2006 12:00 am
Location: Coella
Blog: View Blog (131)

Re: This very well could be the last straw.

Permanent Linkby Chameleonette on Mon Sep 15, 2014 12:25 pm

Humbug wrote:I stayed out of it because I thought you were doing a good job, and making all the points I would have. That's typically how people treat arguments on the forums here.

Well, that and the fact that the heated stuff all happened while I was asleep. And I'm not in the best of places emotionally right now and just came off a heated forum topic myself. But that's less typical and more personal.

Anyway, I got your back on this. Not gonna point-by-point deconstruct everything Mojo said, but...well, you'll probably see if you're of a mind to go back to the topic.


Just to clarify, I'm not shifting blame on anyone specifically and this is more or less something that has been going on and off for many months in various topics. This just hit the crescendo, so to speak.

I want to note one thing, though: I'm not sex-negative. But I'm not interested in forming sexual relationships with strangers or being told that I should expect it. I don't think that's very uncommon, especially for females. If I were to get romantically involved with someone and roleplayed with them, that would change a lot of things and my comfort levels would adjust accordingly. But when it comes to RPing with an anonymous face on the internet or someone who is strictly a friend, I prefer to remain disconnected from any sexual aspect of it. That's a preference of mine, and it has nothing to do with being negative about sex or sexual connotations. I just prefer to for RP to be just what it is: role play. A fantasy situation with fantasy characters. And I'm an observer, not an active part of it.
Passionate advocate of M/F vore.

My RP Seeking Thread: viewtopic.php?f=31&t=35501
User avatar
Chameleonette
---
 
Posts: 1016
Joined: Thu Jul 25, 2013 5:22 pm
Blog: View Blog (129)

Re: This very well could be the last straw.

Permanent Linkby MrPandaBear on Mon Sep 15, 2014 12:27 pm

Is this a sexual fetish site? Yes. Are you allowed to like and dislike certain things and speak your mind and all of that? Yes, is roleplay sexual and intimate? It can be but it can also be different. I'm very sorry some dummies are being stupid to you. :c
MrPandaBear
New to the forum
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2008 12:00 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: This very well could be the last straw.

Permanent Linkby Dreyalgia on Mon Sep 15, 2014 12:35 pm

People just need to respect their partners preferences, there should be no need to say anything else, sadly and obviously isn't the case for you. I've seen your LFRP post before and you clearly outline everything there, people should learn to read and just respect that you're not inclined to sexual content =/

Sorry to hear things still aren't going well on the RP/forum front, wish it wouldn't have to come to this for you though.
User avatar
Dreyalgia
Been posting for a bit
 
Posts: 45
Joined: Sat Jun 08, 2013 1:07 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: This very well could be the last straw.

Permanent Linkby bighead on Mon Sep 15, 2014 12:39 pm

After reading through that topic, I can completely understand you wanting to leave. Some of the viewpoints being put forwards were disgusting.
Don't worry, I don't bite.... Often!
bighead
Participator
 
Posts: 280
Joined: Tue May 01, 2007 11:00 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: This very well could be the last straw.

Permanent Linkby Humbug on Mon Sep 15, 2014 12:39 pm

Yeah. I wasn't taking it as a personal admonition or anything. Only reason I explained my situation is because I've been on your side in the past and thus was explaining my absence from that topic.

To clarify, I didn't say that you were sex-negative. I was saying that your argument was on that topic. Given the way you were discussing the topic at-hand, it seems like your view of sex aligns pretty closely with the "common wisdom" in most Western countries, which I think places too much importance on sex and is down on it too much. Obviously if you've got a different view than that, which what you wrote here seems to indicate, my point was wrong, but that's how you came off to me on the topic.
That said, I deleted that part of my post. It came off as overly defensive and was kind of irrelevant to the rest of what I wrote.
I have finished projects purely out of spite.
User avatar
Humbug
---
 
Posts: 1762
Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2006 12:00 am
Location: Coella
Blog: View Blog (131)

Re: This very well could be the last straw.

Permanent Linkby Ka-Atis on Mon Sep 15, 2014 12:45 pm

I don't think that the community doesn't care. This is something which typically happens when there's a whole lot of text going on, people not being here all the time, so it gets a lot to catch up with.

Anyways - I dropped a further comment in the thread, my impression is that something went "terribly wrong" at some point.
Now I eat you!}- >:-(.. ____ D: -{no.. nooo..
User avatar
Ka-Atis
yum, slurp, and/or drool
 
Posts: 9565
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2007 11:00 pm
Location: Germany
Blog: View Blog (79)

Re: This very well could be the last straw.

Permanent Linkby jake110 on Mon Sep 15, 2014 12:48 pm

I didn't read the whole topic myself but I did see it a little. I'm not trying to make the "well not everyone is like that" argument, but what I will say is that there are arse holes in every kind of group, and that they are usually the one's that get the most attention due to their loud and often violent nature, it's what causes some people to come out with things like "all Muslims are terrorists" or "all Americans are stupid". This isn't the case, they're just the small amount of people who make the most noise.

if none of what I've said helps, I'm sorry, I usually don't talk to anyone on here. The artwork you do isn't exactly my kind of thing but I recognise that you are one of the really good artists on here and it would be a massive lose if you left. I've seen far too many people leave here who were amazing but just ran into 1 too many retards who pushed them over their tolerance.
Last edited by jake110 on Mon Sep 15, 2014 12:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
jake110
Somewhat familiar
 
Posts: 104
Joined: Tue Dec 23, 2008 12:00 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: This very well could be the last straw.

Permanent Linkby TheHungryELf on Mon Sep 15, 2014 1:11 pm

Wow... people can be such dicks, can't they. I suport you fully, I am not going to be like those other men. If anyone treats you like that again I will stand next to you, giving them the finger... with both hands!
...
User avatar
TheHungryELf
???
 
Posts: 5422
Joined: Mon Jan 13, 2014 9:56 pm
Location: Wherever you're not.
Blog: View Blog (39)

Re: This very well could be the last straw.

Permanent Linkby Chameleonette on Mon Sep 15, 2014 1:18 pm

MrPandaBear wrote:Is this a sexual fetish site? Yes. Are you allowed to like and dislike certain things and speak your mind and all of that? Yes, is roleplay sexual and intimate? It can be but it can also be different. I'm very sorry some dummies are being stupid to you. :c


I don't think it would frustrate and upset me as much if I haven't experienced this multiple times. And every single time it was with a male from this site--never a female. And I have RPed/chatted with/discussed with both. These types of narrow-minded views make it difficult for women to assert themselves as people and not sexual gratification objects.

Dreyalgia wrote:People just need to respect their partners preferences, there should be no need to say anything else, sadly and obviously isn't the case for you. I've seen your LFRP post before and you clearly outline everything there, people should learn to read and just respect that you're not inclined to sexual content =/

Sorry to hear things still aren't going well on the RP/forum front, wish it wouldn't have to come to this for you though.


I've always been clear, so as not to give people any false pretenses about RPing with me. Some points I even double over just to make sure it gets across. And yet there's still people that choose to be pushy or disrespect those preferences and I'm being told that's my fault for not being open to being intimate with strangers? No fucking thank you.

I don't know what to think anymore. There's definitely some great people in the community and I try to keep my focus on that, but these widespread views that a lot of men have make me feel uncomfortable with the idea of RPing with any of them.

bighead wrote:After reading through that topic, I can completely understand you wanting to leave. Some of the viewpoints being put forwards were disgusting.


Thanks for understanding where I'm coming from. I think for a lot of people on this site, it's difficult for them to put themselves into a woman's shoes and see the other side of it. There's a reason that a lot of females avoid the "only roleplays with real life female" threads and it's not being unfair to them at all. We're all allowed to have our preferences and there's no reason for those preferences not to be respected by others, even if they don't agree with them.

Humbug wrote:Yeah. I wasn't taking it as a personal admonition or anything. Only reason I explained my situation is because I've been on your side in the past and thus was explaining my absence from that topic.

To clarify, I didn't say that you were sex-negative. I was saying that your argument was on that topic. Given the way you were discussing the topic at-hand, it seems like your view of sex aligns pretty closely with the "common wisdom" in most Western countries, which I think places too much importance on sex and is down on it too much. Obviously if you've got a different view than that, which what you wrote here seems to indicate, my point was wrong, but that's how you came off to me on the topic.
That said, I deleted that part of my post. It came off as overly defensive and was kind of irrelevant to the rest of what I wrote.


I just put it in the views that it is for me, since that's what I was explaining---my preferences, which he was claiming was "lying to myself" and other things. But I still don't think it's wrong not to expect that a partner for RP should find out whether or not you're OK with sexually involving each other before the RP even starts. It's the obviously courteous thing to do. Going into any RP and expecting the other person to be sexual with you is ridiculous no matter how you look at it. Boundaries should always be established beforehand.

Ka-Atis wrote:I don't think that the community doesn't care. This is something which typically happens when there's a whole lot of text going on, people not being here all the time, so it gets a lot to catch up with.

Anyways - I dropped a further comment in the thread, my impression is that something went "terribly wrong" at some point.


Well, it's not just this instance, but I've seen it quite a few times in the community. I've even been spoken up against by another member when I called out one person on being rude by telling one group of people that enjoy something they don't that they should "GTFO with that crap". And it leaves me baffled why such treatment is often ignored around here.

jake110 wrote:I didn't read the whole topic myself but I did see it a little. I'm not trying to make the "well not everyone is like that" argument, but what I will say is that there are arse holes in every kind of group, and that they are usually the one's that get the most attention due to their loud and often violent nature, it's what causes some people to come out with things like "all Muslims are terrorists" or "all Americans are stupid". This isn't the case, they're just the small amount of people who make the most noise.

if none of what I've said helps, I'm sorry, I usually don't talk to anyone on here. The artwork you do isn't exactly my kind of thing but I recognise that you are one of the really good artists on here and it would be a massive lose if you left. I've seen far too many people leave here who were amazing but just ran into 1 too many retards who pushed them over their tolerance.


Yeah, I'm more than aware that there's bad eggs in every batch. It's just that sometimes there's a lot of bad eggs and it starts to make the rest of them smell bad. And when someone personally involves me in it, I get more upset/offended, because it becomes about the other person telling me that my preferences are "wrong" or that I'm being "unfair" to someone else, etc. Not just with this instance, but numerous people that have harassed me over this shit and over liking M/F vore in general.

I'm not going to make any split second decisions or anything, as I know there's a fair number of people here that I would miss if I up and left on this emotionally bad high. But I'm using my blog to vent that I'm upset about this, at the very least. I feel mildly better now that I've had a little while to let it pass.
Passionate advocate of M/F vore.

My RP Seeking Thread: viewtopic.php?f=31&t=35501
User avatar
Chameleonette
---
 
Posts: 1016
Joined: Thu Jul 25, 2013 5:22 pm
Blog: View Blog (129)

Who is online

Registered users: 3063976370, Aaronian, abrando, ABrinson27, awlee20, Awolfest, bbstuff, bellyburd, BepisBepis, Bing [Bot], braindead14118, Dogmon, Druid, eternalsky, Fircracker, Firefly212056, Gluger11, Google [Bot], Hiddendream, jake117852, john boi, JudasArtworks, Kartosa, LewdAndRude, LittleRover, luckyB, megadeth0927, mustache, Nomboy, Noonespeical, ntgtoowc, OsmiumOrchid, Packman23, Parabola0, PlayfulHowley, Rambodash, redfrog, Rexfeeney, Rocksoul, RoxyDraws, Savar, sevensix, ShinOhiXIV, SKULLOK, techtician, thicceater, Thunderus1000, TreeckoOfTime, vakrata, vampireguy6902, vixingirl, vorefan93, wartomato, Zond