Here is my first post here. My only vore themed story.So far

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Here is my first post here. My only vore themed story.So far

Postby soldier66 » Thu May 18, 2006 11:32 pm

Here it is, enjoy.
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Re: Here is my first post here. My only vore themed story.So

Postby haloronin » Fri May 19, 2006 2:01 am

nice short story..
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Re: Here is my first post here. My only vore themed story.So

Postby Eidolon » Fri May 19, 2006 5:29 am

Alright... First of all, it helps to put a little bit of information about what's IN the story, just as a courtesy; some people don't like vore with certain genders or certain creatures, so it's just polite to give people a little idea of what to expect.

Apart from that... it's a good effort. It's obvious that you did put some time and energy into it, but as a story there's a good amount of room for improvement.

I don't know if you're actually looking for critique or criticism to improve; if you are, just mention it and I'd gladly PM a suggestion or two. Otherwise, though...

Thanks for taking the time to share what you do have, and welcome to the world of posting. :P
-Toric Eidolon
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Re: Here is my first post here. My only vore themed story.So

Postby Omega » Fri May 19, 2006 9:42 am

Good Work. Lots of detail and lingering on the eating.

Might want to consider a little lead in to the actual vore, as
well as taking a little time to describe pred and victem.
As is they are complete cyphers aside from gender.

Keep up the good work. Definitly show promise.

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Re: Here is my first post here. My only vore themed story.So

Postby Umiriko » Fri May 19, 2006 3:06 pm

very nice ^_^ thanks for sharing a good read
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Postby soldier66 » Fri May 19, 2006 6:36 pm

thanks everyone, someone was going to help me improve the story, but they were to busy, so it never got looked at since I first typed it. I was going to include alot more background into the story but chose not to. I think the reason was because it would have ended up being several more pages longer.

When I get the chance I might go back and re-edit the story.

Sorry for not posting what type of vore and what it would be, I will do that in the future.
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