I need to not have this fetish anymore, so here's the plan.

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I need to not have this fetish anymore, so here's the plan.

Postby Magnificent » Tue Oct 30, 2018 6:15 pm

I apologize for the histrionic nature of this post, but as I have a handful of watchers and a some dozens of favorites on the things I have uploaded to this site, it feels appropriate that I announce what I plan to do going forward. If you want the tl;dr, I’m not going to be a part of this site anymore, but I need some housekeeping done beforehand.

First, an explanation. Over the last few days, I’ve taken an inventory of my life and found that vore has had an adverse negative affect on it. I’m in my twenties now and have been masturbating to this shit since I was twelve. It has, pun intended, consumed my life. I used to never associate that with being negative though, I just accepted it as an unchangeable aspect of my character. I don’t want to do that anymore, and I don’t believe that a fetish is an unbreakable shackle on my life. I want to be free of vore. I want to live a life where I no longer possess these desires.

Why? Well, the seeds where planted about a year ago when that news story broke of that dude whose body was found inside a python. At the time, being disconnected from the situation, and having this fetish skewing my worldview, I found the story to be exhilarating. In that moment, the prospect of vore seemed actually tangible for the first time, and so, in that moment, I fetishized a real person’s death. Though I now recognize how immoral it was to do that, at the time, I did not. That’s the problem.

Reflecting on that moment in the last few days, I began probing the once unquestioned belief that I deserve to live. An actual person is now dead forever and my go to thought was to masturbate to it. That act should exempt others from being legally culpable for murdering me. I felt as though I relinquished my humanity then. When you’ve spent almost a decade sexualizing one of the most painful and humiliating deaths imaginable, it’s hard to feel as though you don’t deserve worse.

For the first time in many years I hate myself. I might go into therapy, I might get a new job, I might not. All I know for sure is that I need to make a change and excising this mental abscess called vorarephilia seems like a good start. I deactivated my deviantart account and sent the request to furaffinity to have that account deleted as well. I’ve debated removing everything on this account as well but that doesn’t seem fair to those that liked it. I will say this, I disown everything that I’ve written or made with daz3d for this website. The stuff in the “Things I requested.” Isn’t my art to begin with (though it was made for me), but everything else in “Writing” and “DAZ3D” was crafted by me and I put it in a de facto public domain.

Deleting those accounts and renouncing the garbage I’ve made was the easy part. The hard part comes with two things, both related to discord. About a week ago I made a discord group for snake vore. Obviously, I don’t want it anymore, but I can’t leave the server without deleting since I’m the owner, so… it needs a new owner. I’ll transfer the ownership to whomever wants it. There’s barely any people on there but maybe you can do more with it than I could.

The second, harder part is what to do with this guy I’ve spent the last five months roleplaying with. We met on shamchat back in May and have continued our RP on and off on discord since. Vore is a key theme between our characters and I can no longer support doing that with him. While there is more to the story of what we’re doing than the vore aspects, it’s such a prominent part that I’m not sure if he’d be willing to go on without those moments in. The prospect of discontinuing our session after so long is heartbreaking, but if it’s needed as part of my ripping off the bandaid process than so be it. My only question is how to broach the subject…

Anyway, that’s my thoughts on this matter. This was a decision made after many long hours of deliberation. It’ll feel good, I think, once this nonsense is finally out of my life and I can move on from it. This panging will go away in time.
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Re: I need to not have this fetish anymore, so here's the pl

Postby someguy94 » Tue Oct 30, 2018 6:26 pm

It's good that you're questioning some of the morals around vore so that you understand / come to terms with it better. The only thing I'd say, is it's hard to disassociate a fetish which has become engrained with your sexual preferences. There are things like cognitive behavioural therapy, but I do think you shouldn't be extremely hard on yourself. You weren't fantasising over the death of another person, you were fantasising over a concept that you've sexualised which, when not actually applied in real life, isn't really doing much harm as it is a fantasy.

It is possible to have a normal and healthy sexual relationship with another person whilst embracing the aspects you enjoy about vore. I'm not trying to persuade you to stick with vore, I just think about my own experiences where I tried to rid myself of it and I feel happier nowadays now that I'm no longer ashamed of it.

In any case, good luck with it all and I hope you get what you're looking for.
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Re: I need to not have this fetish anymore, so here's the pl

Postby Aleph-Null » Tue Oct 30, 2018 6:35 pm

Magnificent wrote:The second, harder part is what to do with this guy I’ve spent the last five months roleplaying with. We met on shamchat back in May and have continued our RP on and off on discord since. Vore is a key theme between our characters and I can no longer support doing that with him. While there is more to the story of what we’re doing than the vore aspects, it’s such a prominent part that I’m not sure if he’d be willing to go on without those moments in. The prospect of discontinuing our session after so long is heartbreaking, but if it’s needed as part of my ripping off the bandaid process than so be it. My only question is how to broach the subject…

It sounds like you have a solid plan for everything but the above.

I'm not sure your exact feelings about the situation but, in my experience, friendships made through anonymous fetish communities are heartbreaking to call off, not because they are related to the fetish, but because the person is your friend. In other words, explain the situation to him, and hopefully you guys could keep being friends without the vore stuff attached to the friendship. Maybe you guys could do some RPG stuff on roll 20, or some other non-fetish RP community/site.

In any case, best of wishes.
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Re: I need to not have this fetish anymore, so here's the pl

Postby SamuelOrona » Tue Oct 30, 2018 6:37 pm

I went through something similar, I was going through a period where I decided not to produce underage content any more, and I deleted most of my giantess stories. About a year later, I changed my mind and realized I could still write underage stories that are appropriate for minors.

That still doesn’t change the fact that I deleted some good stories. If you go through with this, all I’m saying is you’ll probably be back in a couple of years, maybe even sooner, so my advice is to think this through.

My belief is that vore is an intrinsic part of us, and it is something about ourselves we can’t change.
I'm a writer/artist interested in making non-fatal giantess vore comics
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Re: I need to not have this fetish anymore, so here's the pl

Postby Magnificent » Tue Oct 30, 2018 6:43 pm

Aleph-Null wrote:I'm not sure your exact feelings about the situation but, in my experience, friendships made through anonymous fetish communities are heartbreaking to call off, not because they are related to the fetish, but because the person is your friend. In other words, explain the situation to him, and hopefully you guys could keep being friends without the vore stuff attached to the friendship. Maybe you guys could do some RPG stuff on roll 20, or some other non-fetish RP community/site.

The only times we've spoken OOC has been in relation to scheduling for the RP. We've never interacted on any basis besides the specific RP we're doing. The issue is that our RP is long. Every turn, for a while, got gradually longer than the last. At one point we were sending each other 7-8 paragraph responses. The intimacy between us was entirely expressed in our characters and vore was a fundamental connection between them. I'm not sure, even if he agreed to remove the vore going forward, that it would even be worth it to continue. It just wouldn't be the same. Going along as we have, however, would be no less than detrimental to my psyche. This situation sucks.
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Re: I need to not have this fetish anymore, so here's the pl

Postby Verilo » Tue Oct 30, 2018 8:34 pm

Your story sounds a bit like mine, only I'd be the guy you're RPing with. I realized after having gone through a break up with my ex that what really introduced (and perhaps endeared) me to her in the first place wasn't something normal but something that I found sexually stimulating. Sure, we had a whole slew of good times and sometimes I can't help but wonder if I'm healthier without her or if I could've been a better person and we'd still be together, but in the present, I just have to believe that a big part of what I liked about her was this thing. Without that - and as shameful as it is to admit - she would've just been another face in the crowd.

Relationships founded on fetishes aren't healthy*. It starts and ends with this whole "what do I want" mentality, and when it's done, it's hard to cope with viewing another human being like that. It's fun while it lasts, but then you just feel really scummy afterward. Just tell him, "sorry, but I feel like I need to change some things in my life. It's not you, it's me." He'll probably be thick as pig shit seeing as you just sprung this on him, but explain that you're no longer interested in the subject and that it's nothing to do with him. If all you've ever had was this, then letting go of that is the same as letting go of him.

Personally speaking, I was curious about a certain thing and wanted to engage with something else. She was the only person in my actual life that even showed any signs of being "different" and that's what led me to her. When she got tired of the stupid stuff I wanted to do, I started coming to the realization that I was largely bored with who she was. She had a fantastic personality and I loved spending time with her (she said the same about me), but once those "different" fruits were gone, she started appearing more and more the "same". After that, she just wasn't special anymore.

Just tear off the bandaid.

*Relationships where the pursuit of sexual gratification of any kind is a defining factor is unhealthy. That's why so many people seem to fall out of love after having sex. They always say "after we did it, all the magic in our relationship went away." Once having achieved their goals, they look at the rest of their lives and it just doesn't have the same excitement as reaching for those goals.
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Re: I need to not have this fetish anymore, so here's the pl

Postby AnotherAnon » Tue Oct 30, 2018 9:24 pm

Personally I think you may be taking things a bit too seriously, though if you feel it's having a negative impact on your life, then it is the responsible thing to do to cut it out.

Vore's great, makes me feel good, and despite knowing how fucked up it is, I accept that. I'm not ashamed of it. But everyone's different I guess, clearly you've gone through some mental discovery that has ended up with you feeling disturbed about the whole thing. For me, not so much. I'm not some sort of addict where I can't stop thinking it about it, or sacrifice stuff just to masturbate, it's just an add-on to my life that brings me some pleasure.

It sucks that guy died via snake, and I will admit that yes, it was a bit of a turn on that "it could happen to ME", but... That doesn't disturb me, because I know that if I had been there with him, I would have done everything in my power to save him. I wouldn't compromise someone else's REAL life for a fetish. Heck, perhaps I would compromise my OWN, I don't know, but personally I think I'm too afraid of real death to take the plunge were I given the chance (though I digress).

In summary, unless your fetish is having a negative impact on your life outside of the fetish, I see no reason to try and cut it out.
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Re: I need to not have this fetish anymore, so here's the pl

Postby Erratic » Tue Oct 30, 2018 10:50 pm

I've had periods where I've been able to shift my kinks around (ended only because relationships changed and I was able to shift back). Maybe find an adjacent kink that doesn't involve a death scenario? Figure out what you like about vore and see if anything else share components of that? I imagine it's easier that way than trying to go completely normal/vanilla.
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Re: I need to not have this fetish anymore, so here's the pl

Postby Jayezox » Wed Oct 31, 2018 7:12 am

All I have to say is this is a big step forward and I wish you the best. Don't let anyone discourage you cutting ties with vore. It seems harmless to most, but the truth is it is abnormal and I think there are ways to fix it if it is harmful. I might let this fetish go to if I think it means I will live a better life, but I have bigger problems to tackle including one problem that isn't my fault before I do that. I would like to help you through it, but a fellow vorarephile isn't the best way to go about doing that so all I can say is you have my support and you made the right call.
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Re: I need to not have this fetish anymore, so here's the pl

Postby CrimsonFangX666 » Wed Oct 31, 2018 12:26 pm

I've tried and failed to distance myself from Eka's Portal entirely. Carving out the wound, as it were, only for it to come right back. Like I could regenerate but not be whole anymore. Until I started seeing Vore the same way I see porn. Art. Vore is art. Porn is art. YES I know how that sounds, but to me, it worked. I disassociated Vore with Sex. I heard about the real life instance with the snake, and I managed to keep myself from thinking "I wonder what it felt like to be swallowed". For about five minutes. Then I was curious. What did it feel like up until he realized his fate was sealed? What thoughts were running through his head? The biggest one though... Did he have anyone that would miss him, or was he a random "nobody"? See... my moral compass runs firmly in the GREY area. The fact that he's now dead and gone, and would likely be a pile of snake excrement if the snake hadn't been killed, is horrible to me. BUT... I also realize that where he's from, even here in America, snakes CAN get that big. Snakes can get big enough to eat people. Some snakes anyway. Anacondas, some pythons and some boas. If they have a healthy enough life, they can get MASSIVE. I still see Vore, the fetish parts of it, as highly sexual. I will never find digestion, scat, or anything to do with death as sexual. Unless it's a ghost, ghoul, or anime zombie that was purposefully made to look hot as hell. Yes, I read Aces works, such as Little Lamia in the Big City, and there is in fact death in that story. I don't sexualize it. I just read it like it's a part of the story.

BACK TO THE TOPIC AT HAND... as many of us are saying, I wish you the best. If people try to discourage you, be firm. Don't back down, no matter what they say or do.
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Re: I need to not have this fetish anymore, so here's the pl

Postby Loranna » Wed Oct 31, 2018 12:29 pm

Verilo wrote:. . .

Relationships founded on fetishes aren't healthy*. It starts and ends with this whole "what do I want" mentality, and when it's done, it's hard to cope with viewing another human being like that. It's fun while it lasts, but then you just feel really scummy afterward. Just tell him, "sorry, but I feel like I need to change some things in my life. It's not you, it's me." He'll probably be thick as pig shit seeing as you just sprung this on him, but explain that you're no longer interested in the subject and that it's nothing to do with him. If all you've ever had was this, then letting go of that is the same as letting go of him.

.. .

*Relationships where the pursuit of sexual gratification of any kind is a defining factor is unhealthy. That's why so many people seem to fall out of love after having sex. They always say "after we did it, all the magic in our relationship went away." Once having achieved their goals, they look at the rest of their lives and it just doesn't have the same excitement as reaching for those goals.


Just responding to this particular point, but - I've several relationships that started due to this fetish, which have evolved to lasting friendships online. And plenty that started due to this fetish, and ended after two or three exchanges of posts. For the former, the mutual interest in the fetish led to conversations about other topics of which we shared interests, which led to a lasting friendship. And for the latter . . . well, those led to further writing practice, at least.

This may or may not apply to the OP's particular case, and whatever their situation is, I offer my sincere hopes that they're able to find what it is they're looking for. Hopefully this post will help - or at least, not tangle things up even more.

All my best,

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Re: I need to not have this fetish anymore, so here's the pl

Postby sweetladyamy » Wed Oct 31, 2018 3:25 pm

I will definitely second the stated fact that vorarephilia is not something that can just be excised, believe me, I've fucking tried.

On the note of the guy that got eaten by a python, to be fair, I'm one of those that only thought about it for a short time before moving on; I guess I'm lucky in that regard because it didn't even arouse me.

Ultimately, do as you will, but just remember that it's not a disease or a mental illness, it's a character quip, a quirk, and if it is causing you to have a more negative outlook on things, then yeah, therapy is a great idea. Consult some cannabis.
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Re: I need to not have this fetish anymore, so here's the pl

Postby Speedyblupi » Wed Oct 31, 2018 7:03 pm

"That act should exempt others from being legally culpable for murdering me."

No it should not. Don't be ridiculous. You did nothing to harm that man.

You're being excessively paranoid about this, and that will only make the problem worse. If you convince yourself that your paraphilia is so awful and that you need to be "cured" of it, it is likely to cause you self-esteem issues or even psychological harm in the long term, as sexual attraction is extremely difficult to impossible to change - we've seen how supposed "gay conversion therapy" has traumatised hundreds of people.

Just be confident in your morality. Know that what goes on inside your head doesn't cause harm outside of it unless you let it.

If it causes you this much stress, it would probably be better for you to leave online vore communities, but you simply have to accept that you are the way you are in your head.

Just explain your situation to the guy you've been RPing with. If he's a reasonable person he'll understand, and if he doesn't, he's a dick. You seem to be far too worried about hurting other people when you're not hurting them at all.

I don't know if it will work for others, but I'm happy with my life, and I got there by accepting that I am the way I am, the world is the way it is, but I can just try to do enough to fit in and support myself while spending the rest of the time enjoying myself. We're here on this earth for a lifetime in the bodies we were born in, with whatever messed up hormones and brain wiring we've got. It's usually far easier to make the best of what we've got than to try to change it with drugs or "therapy". Just remember that most of the people in the world either don't need or don't deserve your concern, so all you have to worry about is not inciting the mob, which you're not going to do if you keep the things they don't want to hear inside your own head.

It seems like you hate yourself for no good reason. You seem to be a good person, and hopefully acknowledging that can be a start to hating yourself a little less.
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Re: I need to not have this fetish anymore, so here's the pl

Postby Bradleymiddler » Wed Oct 31, 2018 8:12 pm

You are being histrionic, imho. And as abnormal as it is, vore is probably so deeply written into one's psyche you can never remove it no matter what. As hard as I try to get off to 'normal' material, I can never do it.
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Re: I need to not have this fetish anymore, so here's the pl

Postby Aleph-Null » Wed Oct 31, 2018 8:24 pm

Bradleymiddler wrote:You are being histrionic, imho. And as abnormal as it is, vore is probably so deeply written into one's psyche you can never remove it no matter what. As hard as I try to get off to 'normal' material, I can never do it.

Well, that's you.

I have taken some rather lengthy breaks from vore with no issues, and I am confident I could leave it behind if need be.
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Re: I need to not have this fetish anymore, so here's the pl

Postby Bradleymiddler » Wed Oct 31, 2018 8:29 pm

Aleph-Null wrote:
Bradleymiddler wrote:You are being histrionic, imho. And as abnormal as it is, vore is probably so deeply written into one's psyche you can never remove it no matter what. As hard as I try to get off to 'normal' material, I can never do it.

Well, that's you.

I have taken some rather lengthy breaks from vore with no issues, and I am confident I could leave it behind if need be.


Well, that's me, yes. Pretty much all my sexual fantasies going back as far as I can remember involve vore, and I have never had sexual interest completely disconnected from vore. This is all my sexuality ever will be, so any talk of 'leaving' the fetish is incomprehensibly disturbing and alien.

In other words, for me abandoning vore is basically abandoning all sexuality. Not a small thing to do. And effectively impossible for me, since I still have the pubescent hormone storm thing going.
Last edited by Bradleymiddler on Wed Oct 31, 2018 8:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: I need to not have this fetish anymore, so here's the pl

Postby tqueensway » Wed Oct 31, 2018 8:39 pm

Morality is not an objective truth but rather a cultural construct as processed by an individual.

Pleasuring oneself to dark thoughts is ultimately a harmless act. It's enacting dark ideas that's more troublesome.
Curious about a roleplay or chat? viewtopic.php?f=31&t=35926 ^.~
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Re: I need to not have this fetish anymore, so here's the pl

Postby SamuelOrona » Wed Oct 31, 2018 8:40 pm

Bradleymiddler wrote:
Aleph-Null wrote:
Bradleymiddler wrote:You are being histrionic, imho. And as abnormal as it is, vore is probably so deeply written into one's psyche you can never remove it no matter what. As hard as I try to get off to 'normal' material, I can never do it.

Well, that's you.

I have taken some rather lengthy breaks from vore with no issues, and I am confident I could leave it behind if need be.


Well, that's me, yes. Pretty much all my sexual fantasies going back as far as I can remember involve vore, and I have never had sexual interest completely disconnected from vore. This is all my sexuality ever will be, so any talk of 'leaving' the fetish is incomprehensibly disturbing and alien.

In other words, for me abandoning vore is basically abandoning all sexuality. Not a small thing to do. And effectively impossible for me, since I still have the pubescent hormone storm thing going.


I’m the same way, being shrunk and swallowed by a giantess is the only thing that makes me tick.
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Re: I need to not have this fetish anymore, so here's the pl

Postby sweetladyamy » Wed Oct 31, 2018 11:52 pm

Speedyblupi wrote:...we've seen how supposed "gay conversion therapy" has traumatized hundreds of people...


Same can be said about trans conversion therapy, or forceful religious indoctrination via torture.
Anyone that supports such, deserves merciless retaliation.

(several people) wrote:...vore is about the only thing I can get off to; it's not the worst thing in the world...


I agree, and even I don't have many erotic fantasies that don't involve vore (sometimes I can but it's the exception not the rule).
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Re: I need to not have this fetish anymore, so here's the pl

Postby Verilo » Thu Nov 01, 2018 12:05 am

sweetladyamy wrote:
Speedyblupi wrote:...we've seen how supposed "gay conversion therapy" has traumatized hundreds of people...


Same can be said about trans conversion therapy, or forceful religious indoctrination via torture.
Anyone that supports such, deserves merciless retaliation.


So worldly.

People like that deserve forgiveness. You don't return evil with evil.
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