The scenario fixated me, and I would obsess over the idea of being food for some creature. That was a fantasy I'd engage with to explore some surreal scenarios. My fixation with getting eaten came with fear too, because I was also bothered at the thought being trapped and helpless! The fear of being a victim who cannot be saved from a big bad monster was too much for me. Still, I tried forgetting my fear and eventually just accepted that I will always feel conflicted about my obsession.
Later on I browsed a textbook while in school and in there I saw a display with the anatomy of an alimentary canal in a body, and finding that stimulated me. I think that was my first look at the organs that process food, and it really boosted my fixation about being ingested. Fantasies and feelings grew in me and I felt aroused. I think that might've been the first stimulation to arouse me. It was bizarre because I did not know what all this meant! At that time I was also trying to own my personal sexuality and thinking of what it means, those experiences then felt new. Really, I was lost about how to live with these feelings.
Some time passes on and I become a nerdy teenager. One day I'm online browsing fan-art of some characters and by chance found some material where one is eating another and my heart jumps at that discovery. I froze and felt the same rush I had before, but much stronger. I was convinced I've found something major and I wanted more. While searching for more I noticed a pattern about that scenario and it was that those who shared content focusing on it and those who gave feedback would repeat a word in their discussion - "vore." I got curious about that word and what it's supposed to mean. So I made a trip to Wikipedia and learned. Honestly, after studying myself for a while I'm thinking my focus leans more into endosomatophilia than vore, but I'm just not sure!
