Nature of Things

[voremonger]

"THANK YOU", he says, looking at the signature. He traces a finger along it, nodding and pretending to read it. He holds it across his chest with folded arms. "THANK YOU, I shall cherish it always! I shall post it where I can always see it."

And like that, with all the positive vibes given off by his simple earnestness, he mucks it all up by pinning it up just above a particularly lurid picture of a naked woman spreading her legs for the camera.

"Oh", he exclaims suddenly. "We're here! This is great, now I can practice landing again!"

He focuses on his little device. He is determined that this time he will not embarrass himself with any more mistakes. His eyes narrow and he falls silent, his concentration impeccable as the ship enters the atmosphere and descends steadily and safely. As the ship touches down gently, he turns and looks at Sarah with a vacuous look on his face and a smile on his lips.

"See, I'm not too bad of a pilot. I know I make mistakes sometimes still, but more I was distracted by you, because you are so pretty. But you see now, I can do it, and I do it well. Now I will open the opening and let you walk out to your world."

He presses a button and watches. There is a mechanical grinding of gears shuddering in protest, then nothing. A perplexed look appears on his face. He presses the button again with the same result--funny noises but the boarding ramp does not descend.

"Must be jammed", he mumbles as he presses it again, and again. He sits and thinks for a while, then slaps his hand against his head. "You know what? I forgot to set the ship's legs down, so the butt of the ship now sits on the floor of the world. Let me fix."

As the ship lifts off of the ground and the landing gear descends, he offers a defense of "I was distracted".

[Fyr3]

She braced for impact when he landed this time, expecting a much worse crash, she only sighed when they were safely landed "Geez...I hope this is worth it...and I have at least a day before filming..." she then simply waited for the hatch to open.

[voremonger]

As the fishman lowers his ship on its landing gear, the hatch opens and settles down onto the surface of the planet. The captain crawls through the area and slips outside. He immediately gets to work.

Activating a switch, the cargo door opens and he reaches in to grab a large box about two feet wide. He rips the box open, revealing a spherical robot. The lights are off and it appears dead.

"Your friends sent this ahead of you. They said you'd know what to do with it, whatever it is."

As if suddenly realizing that they were no longer back at the hangar, the captain turns to look around them. They sit on a small, pebbly beach. The water belongs to a small pond, and all around is lush, thick vegetation.

A cacophony on noises from all kinds of creatures emanates from the foliage all around them. Many of the noises sound positively unfriendly. The captain looks around with wide eyes, making a strange sound like a whistle.

"Wow! This looks very dangerous. Well, I'll leave you to it then!"

He opens his arms wide, looking directly at Sarah. He seems to be expecting a hug.

[Fyr3]

Sarah giggled a little, getting the small robot and her stuff before saying "Yea, it's very dangerous. I won't lie." she said before awkwardly hugging him and saying "It's kind of why I got angry so easily, I...hope I can see you again." she said her nervousness about the reality here causing her to let that one slip before realizing what she'd said and just saying "There we're friends now. And uh, try to learn human writing. There's a lot of money in it when you can use it well." before looking around with how the set up was "Can I use your cargo hold for a couple minutes along?" hoping for a safe place to change out of her oil soaked clothing.

[voremonger]

The pilot is pleased as a pig in shit. He awkwardly takes a little longer than he should with the hug, either from an excess of joy or lack of experience with human interaction.

"Of course you can use my hold! You can have anything I have!"

He waits for a second, watching Sarah with interest and more than a bit of curiosity. As if suddenly remembering that she added the word 'alone', he slowly sidles along. He waves to her several times before disappearing into the brush.

[Fyr3]

She quickly changed into a clean set of clothing, making sure it was well within dress code before emerging from the hold and saying to him "You might want to run away from the planet now, I'm going where it definitely isn't safe. And I do need you and the ship out of the shot before I start filming." she sighed nervously examining the sphere they'd sent her way, she was told it'd be a camerawoman and now she was worried about whatever else they may have withheld. But she decided to get clear of the ship, and start taking a couple measurements on things like temperature and whatnot before she'd start filming.

[voremonger]

Upon examining the sphere, a whirring sound kicks in. A set of lights slowly activates, one after the other. As the last light flickers to life, the sphere takes on a life of its own.

The metallic sphere floats free of the packaging. It hovers about five feet above the ground. In the center of the sphere is a glass lens roughly three inches in diameter. A wan red light spreads out from the center of the lens.

The ball turns around slowly. The red light aim at everything as it slowly spins around, scanning the entire surroundings. At last it comes full circle and directs itself to Sarah.

"Hello. I'm Carol, your videographer. I'll be recording your interactions on this world as well as directing you on what you need to do. It's as simple as that. Do you have any questions?"

[Fyr3]

She wasn't surprised it was a robot, although she was a bit surprised it had a non robotic name, "Uh, two right now Carol, where are we supposed to start filming? and will you be giving me my queue for the...finale? I do uh, want to get this wrapped up as quickly as possible." she said shuffling a little nervously, already aware of what was to come later but still glad she was on a solid planet that wasn't likely to crash and explode.

[voremonger]

"In answer to your first question, there is a large vernal pool where the frogs are, ahem, 'getting it on'. I'll be able to lead you there if you just follow the hovercam here.

"As for the 'finale', as you put it, I guess that depends on a couple of factors. If the frogs are feeling peckish, it may well preempt things. I guess it depends on how tasty you look to them."

The adds this last part snarkily. The combination of a female voice, the way she references the device, and her attitude all lend credence to the idea that Sarah is conversing with a living human being on the other end of this speaker.

"If none of the frogs decides to invite you for dinner before we're ready, then it will be up to the boss. He's producing and directing this documentary, so he decides when you will get your special close up in front of the camera."

[Fyr3]

She sighed "Alright, lead the way to where we start filming and give me a cue when to be ready. I wasn't exactly given very clear instructions, but lets get this done." she said trying to steady her nerves, knowing just how dangerous what they wanted her to do was. Still a little eager for her paycheck, and very eager to go back home, home she managed to calm herself thinking about that. Maybe animal documentaries weren't for her, then again as long as these guys keep up there end of the bargain she can change career paths so maybe it wont be too bad.

[voremonger]

The hovercam leads a path through the woods. There are many strange noises coming from unseen predators lurking all around here. Many of them may even be big enough to turn Sarah into their personal snack. It's uncertain if the instruments on this device are good enough to detect any such dangers, and if they do have them, then they aren't sharing that information.

It does not take long before the sound of croaking is heard. A little more, and the croaking fills the air. The sounds seem to come from all over right ahead. Then, almost as if a door had opened, the area clears out. There is a clearing, in the middle of which is a large pool of water. It's probably about as big as a city block, and it is loaded with frogs. They vary in size, anywhere from as small as a single bed to as large as a car.

Many of them are busy mating, hopping on top of each other. Some appear to have already finished and are looking for a bite to eat. And some of them have decided that the other frogs look good enough for both. One such frog already sports a pair of frog's legs protruding from his mouth. The legs kick backward at times in protest. The other frog simply squeezes his eyes shut and takes another swallow, sending the doomed frog a little further inside.

"Oooh! That's a great shot! Sarah, get over there now! I want you standing next to him to get a size comparison. Maybe you can open his mouth a little so we can get a better view of his meal, too."

[Fyr3]

"Alright." she said before trotting over next to it, hoping things shouldn't be too bad. Before remembering she's supposed to commentate the whole thing "Hello, I'm Sarah Maaru, and this feller here is an Orythmium giant frog normally docile this is their mating season, where the warm humid weather makes them both frisky and dangerous. and If I can get it to open it's mouth here, you'll see why." she would say before trying to hop on the frog and attempting to coax open it's mouth, for a reason she didn't quite understand, but she went with it trying to harmlessly open it's mouth for the camera.

[voremonger]

The frog resists. He pulls away, ferociously protecting its meal. The meal, meanwhile, flexes its legs occasionally. The large frog stares at Sarah, not caring for this intruder. Ultimately the frog turns and hops away.

"Ok, that didn't go quite as planned. That's ok, though. We'll get a better shot later. Right now let's see about those two frogs mating over there. Go up next to them and let's add a little commentary. Just mention stuff like the frogs getting in a mating frenzy in the late spring when the vernal pools fill with water."

[Fyr3]

She nodded, as she approached the pair a little awkwardly before saying as if the camera were her teleprompter. She'd say "Here we have a mating pair of these guys. They tend to get whipped up into a mating frenzy around this time of year as the vernal pools fill with water. Now as you can see the Orythmium giant frog has no fear of humans, and during other times of year see us as too large to consider a meal leaving them generally very docile. However this time of year it's hard to tell if its activities like these or perhaps the extra hormones that make these generally gentle giants consider a possible human snack."

[voremonger]

There is no warning as Sarah is suddenly knocked to the ground. As she falls to her belly, there is a disquieting interlude of a couple seconds. She barely gets a chance to compose herself before a shadow is cast on the ground around her, shaped ominously like the head of a frog.

Sarah is pinned to the ground. Her entire body shakes from the furious assault of her attacker. His body is pressed right up against her. The cold, wet, slimy skin oozes onto her clothing a strange secretion. The offensive stench of swampwater hangs heavy in the air. His mouth rests just above her head, the soft flesh at the underside of his mouth cushioning the back of her head. Sarah's body shakes as if he's trying to throttle her to pieces.

"Ooh, how fascinating! There is so much competition for a mate that this big guy here thinks she's a viable option. Maybe he's just trying to release some pent up energy."

It is with these words that the awkward realization comes--this frog is attempting to mate with her. It may be out of confusion or desperation, but he is clinging onto her back and pistoning behind her. Occasionally a poking may be felt, but thankfully for Sarah her clothes offer her a defense.

"Keep narrating! We need this footage!", admonishes the voice on the other end of the camera's speaker.

[Fyr3]

Sarah was glad she wore her toughest pants to this, although figuring she'd be an idiot to dress in any other way for a place like this. She managed to get some form of composure. Before saying "This is another example of the hazzards related to the frogs at this time of year, between the frenzy of their desire to mate and the competition they face." she blushed "Sometimes they will look to a similar sized species for a possible alternative. This is also a good time to point out that these guys are heavy and their skin is very slick due to a thick mucus membrane, I don't think I could push him away if I wanted to. If you're ever caught in this situation, the only choice you'll have is to wait until the frog realizes its not working. And trying to scorn it may provoke an attack." the only thing managing to keep her focused was the fact that she was aware if she'd botched it they would probably leave her here.

[voremonger]

The frog persisted for a little while longer, then stopped. He simply sat there, atop Sarah's back as if pondering what to do. Ultimately, it hopped off her back after deciding that he would get no such gratification from her.

But the frog was not completely done with her just yet.

Turning back around to face Sarah, the frog stared her in the eye. He blinked once, then twice, giving no clue as to what thoughts were running through his small brain.

At last, leaning in, he grabbed Sarah's head in his mouth. He pulled back, bringing Sarah to her knees. His mouth opened again as he took in more of her, to just past her shoulders. He held her there for a while, then repositioned her. A few more seconds passed, and then he released her. The frog sat there, staring at her.

"Huh...why didn't he eat her? Did he figure that she's too big? Nah, she should fit in there. Maybe he doesn't like the taste of her clothes? Yeah, let's try ditching the clothes. Work it into your commentary, then see if you can get him to open his mouth for you. Maybe you can give him a taste."

[Fyr3]

Sarah sighed, her heart pounding before managing to collect herself as she swallowed hard "A-alright, that's just one of several examples of the aggressive behavior related to their mating frenzy. Now the purpose of my visit is to properly explore all of them, so to you folks at home, I'm sure the editing team will be censoring a good portion of this part." leaving out the i hope, as she started to strip down as instructed, and trying to get the frogs interest as she said "Now they don't have teeth, I'm not sure if you could see the scratch on the camera. But I can tell you their tongues are plentifully sticky to catch a human, now they don't seem to like the flavor of clothing or perhaps this boy here is a little shy about unfamiliar food, but we're about to find out."

[voremonger]

The frog watches Sarah intently as she strips down with the express purpose of making herself more palatable to him. Partway through, his mouth opens slightly as if he is about to seize her, but he waits and watches her. As the last piece of clothing is removed to reveal Sarah's bare body, he hops up a little closer, as if seeing her slightly differently now. He opens his mouth and...

Sarah feels a wet slap at the back of her neck. She is suddenly pulled backward. It appears that her striptease has caught the eye of more than one hungry frog. As Sarah falls to the ground, she gets a momentary glimpse of another frog, roughly the same size as the other one, opening his mouth wide before descending on her. He quickly takes her head and shoulders into his mouth and lifts up.

"Don't stop now, Sarah! We need you to keep narrating so we can hear the perspective of the frog's food!"

[Fyr3]

She'd noticed he'd noticed and tried her best to commentate "As you can see, the frogs are smart enough to realize what they don't li-ahhh" as she got pulled into the other frogs mouth panting and panicking for a second just barely able to hear the camerawoman's instruction "This is terrifying! it's slimey and sticky and I know where I'm going! This is why you stay away from these frogs at this time of year, right here folks!" trying her best to narrate, half screaming through it.