Fallout: Voracious - Interactive Story Discussion

[Aces]

This is just a general discussion thread for my new interactive story, Fallout: Voracious!

Alert me about any problems or inconsistencies or just comment on the story.

http://aryion.com/iss/page.php?page=1&story=587

[TrustFall]

While thumbing through your story, I noticed that you looped back the story after choosing to kill Jessica. The words that follow immediately afterward are as follows:

"You don't know how long until Jessica recovers,"

Call me crazy, but I don't think Jessica is going to be able to recover from being killed.

[Aces]

While thumbing through your story, I noticed that you looped back the story after choosing to kill Jessica. The words that follow immediately afterward are as follows:

"You don't know how long until Jessica recovers,"

Call me crazy, but I don't think Jessica is going to be able to recover from being killed.

Thanks for catching that. I mistakenly added two "unconscious" inserts and something is wrong with the Interactive Story code, so I couldn't delete it. Fortunately I just re-purposed them. However I know two of them had that mistake. I missed the other one. I'll correct it.

[TrustFall]

Thanks for catching that. I mistakenly added two "unconscious" inserts and something is wrong with the Interactive Story code, so I couldn't delete it. Fortunately I just re-purposed them. However I know two of them had that mistake. I missed the other one. I'll correct it.

I just figured if you were a stickler for detail, you'd want to patch up those tiny little missed details. No-one's perfect, after all.

I didn't really see anything else as I, uh, 'read' the story, but I'll poke around again soon.

[vorelectric]

Hey mate. Really interested in your interactive here and I hope that it takes off soon!

Before that happens though, I'd like to point out something I spotted here: http://aryion.com/iss/page.php?page=31&story=587

This is the page "Keep your mouth shut" in the "Girl" gender path, but Jessica still states "If you're a good boy, then..."

Shouldn't that be "Girl" instead? I'm sorry if I am being rude by pointing this out here mate.

[Aces]

Hey mate. Really interested in your interactive here and I hope that it takes off soon!

Before that happens though, I'd like to point out something I spotted here: http://aryion.com/iss/page.php?page=31&story=587

This is the page "Keep your mouth shut" in the "Girl" gender path, but Jessica still states "If you're a good [i/]boy,[i] then..."

Shouldn't that be "Girl" instead? I'm sorry if I am being rude by pointing this out here mate.

Not at all rude! I correct errors both grammatical and plotline. I've made the corrections.

[VigorousJazzHands]

Loving the story, looking forward to seeing it grow.

Just noticed one small mistake here: http://aryion.com/iss/page.php?story=587&page=36

(You won't get past the guards outside if you don't let escort you.")

I'm assuming that's supposed to be "let me escort you."

A tiny error but I figured I'd point it out anyway since that's what this is here for.

[Aces]

Loving the story, looking forward to seeing it grow.

Just noticed one small mistake here: http://aryion.com/iss/page.php?story=587&page=36

(You won't get past the guards outside if you don't let escort you.")

I'm assuming that's supposed to be "let me escort you."

A tiny error but I figured I'd point it out anyway since that's what this is here for.

Fixed!

[vorelectric]

Quick question,

If we make a page in the interactive, are we responsible to make a partner page for the opposite gender?

Also while I'm at it, AND TO BE CLEAR I AM ASKING FOR STORY PURPOSES,

Are there/Will there be rivals/characters in the story that only like the MC as a certain gender? This applies to both predators (Preferring only male prey over female prey for example) and romance-able characters. After all, Fallout may be a rather ridiculous game franchise at times, but the people are still human. Some of them might prefer hot dogs over tacos if you get what I mean.

(Sorry to anyone I may have offended somehow with that question, but as a writer this is something I would like to know)

[Aces]

Quick question,

If we make a page in the interactive, are we responsible to make a partner page for the opposite gender?

Also while I'm at it, AND TO BE CLEAR I AM ASKING FOR STORY PURPOSES,

Are there/Will there be rivals/characters in the story that only like the MC as a certain gender? This applies to both predators (Preferring only male prey over female prey for example) and romance-able characters. After all, Fallout may be a rather ridiculous game franchise at times, but the people are still human. Some of them might prefer hot dogs over tacos if you get what I mean.

(Sorry to anyone I may have offended somehow with that question, but as a writer this is something I would like to know)

Not really, no. I copy over the stuff if it makes sense on the same gender, but really, the different genders causes the stories to diverge after some points. For example, if you swallow Jessica and get caught by the guard while wearing her uniform, if you're a girl, the guard falsely thinks you're Jessica. If you're a guy, he tries to shoot you dead.

You are not responsible for copying over chapters to the opposite gender. Do it if you wish but it is not required at all, and in some circumstances, might not make sense.

[voryure]

In the Writer's rules you say that the entrance is on the west side of the lake but google maps shows it on the east, which is consistent with latter info. Also, in "Roles reversed" after "Strangle her to death!" the Refuge worries Jessica will eat him when she wake up I assume this is an artifact.

[Aces]

In the Writer's rules you say that the entrance is on the west side of the lake but google maps shows it on the east, which is consistent with latter info. Also, in "Roles reversed" after "Strangle her to death!" the Refuge worries Jessica will eat him when she wake up I assume this is an artifact.

Can you link me to the page where Jessica incorrectly states this?

I fixed the rules page.

[voryure]

Here you go.

http://aryion.com/iss/page.php?page=88&story=587
and
http://aryion.com/iss/page.php?page=50&story=587

[Aces]

Fixed.

[PlasmaTech225]

Would love to see some gay pairings, but it still seems like a major WIP