Ravenous - The Daily Life of a New Pred

[03082024]

[After she finishes the hour and a half of focused digestion and starts to take it easy for a bit.] - I think it was between this option and immediately here, depending on whether or not Hazel would say to herself 'well, I'll take thirty seconds to check' and wind up taking the time to read the whole thing. There's also the possibility or Hazel going through the communications while she works, but that's not going to happen this time around when she's still so unused to the whole killing people thing.

[I'm proud of you baby. You're dealing with your new reality very well and you've done something amazing for your first deliberate hunt!] - Willow is also distinctly angry about what happened, but that's not towards Hazel, it's towards Harmony for doing something that Willow would probably know put Hazel into actual danger. She's not showing any of this in front of Hazel, though, and while she shouldn't have needed to take the risk of trying to contain five people who she physically can't release, Willow's still proud of Hazel for managing to actually pull it off with no outside assistance. However...

[Confused. She can't understand why Willow didn't respond differently or focus on a separate aspect.] - Hazel was expecting a 'so, you just killed five people.' talk which she was hoping would help her properly unpack things that she's suddenly having a lot of time to think about with not much else to do but think while proceeding with the closing phases of exactly what it is she's thinking about. Instead she got a 'yay, you just killed five people!' conversation, which, while encouraging, is somewhat uncomfortable to have when Hazel's not really approaching this from the same direction Willow is.

And now for the pondering phase!

[No matter how I feel about what I did, I'm going to have to do it again, and sooner rather than later. I don't want to prepare myself for that, but I should.] - So, a slightly less intense version of 08142024's third one. Essentially, Hazel's going to be acknowledging a pair of things that she's been trying but refusing to concretize for quite a while. She's going to be fully admitting to herself that not only is she going to need to kill people consistently, but she's going to need to do it often enough that she can't fully rely on finding enough that she actually considers to deserve to die. Which would lead to a decision that when she can't find anyone who she can actually feel proud about getting rid of, she's going to have to be willing to eat people she thinks are mostly innocent, and, even if she cries over it, she can't let herself actually regret doing it. This whole thing can definitely lead down into the same arc as 08142024's version, though.

[Jennifer still hasn't even been gone for two days, and I was the one who ate her. What am I supposed to think about that!?] - Hazel's already done some work processing what happened there, but that entire day was just a rush of events that was too overwhelming for Hazel to try to approach it with a somewhat clearer head. I think it wouldn't take very long at all, when Hazel's making an explicit effort to think about things more objectively, to realize that Jennifer shouldn't be taken to have faked her friendship just because she said something hurtful to Hazel while Hazel was in the process of digesting her. This could lead to Hazel getting emotional all over again about what happened, although she's already made a commitment not to hate herself about it. (Uh, it is possible that most of what I'm describing here has already happened, and I just forgot that it was something that was actually written out and not just something I've previously imagined the likely course of. Apologies if that's the case.)

[One way or another, I'm going to need to make preparations about how to actually get Jane safely dead.] - It might be reading Hope's messages that gets Hazel working on this part. She's already decided that she'll have to be willing to do terrible things in order to put Jane down, and that if she's willing to do that, she's also perfectly willing to use means ranging from 'seen as cheating' to 'illegal, but Jane would be the only witness'. Now's the time when she's making more concrete plans, like actually figuring out whether or not it would be possible to mortally injure Jane while Hazel's in the process of swallowing her for her free shot. It would have to be somewhere without cameras... like inside someone's house, maybe.

[GrayLotus]

Alright, got a couple of write-ins figured out.

[No matter how I feel about what I did, I'm going to have to do it again, and sooner rather than later. I don't want to prepare myself for that, but I should.] - I'm happy with how this is phrased and framed, so I'll throw in with it. Hazel's got plenty to think about in regards to her newfound needs as a Pred, and now's a great time to do so. With the pressure from Jane, Hazel's going to be eating plenty more people in the near future, and at least some of them won't be targets she can justify with her current code. With the threat to her family, she can't afford to shut down or stop eating people either, so getting a bit more used to her new normal and the necessity of what she's going to have to do is an important step.

[Hope isn't who I thought she was for all these years. I don't think I can forgive her for what she's done, but there's more to her than I'd realised. What happens between us once Jane's dealt with?] - A pretty long-term idea here. Hazel has been forced to realise that she really didn't understand Hope. Not just that she's much smarter than previously thought, but also the vulnerability that's she's shown. They're stuck working together until Jane's dealt with one way or another, but Hazel would benefit from giving some thought to how she feels about Hope now, given how dramatically her perception has shifted over the last day. Friendship is pretty unlikely, given their history, but getting closer to a decision on how they would interact after the current crisis, even agreeing to not interact again, is an interesting prospect to me. It'll help Hazel as well, to have a clearer idea of how she feels about Hope now.

I can't really think of a third write-in, so I'll leave this space empty for now. I might think of something else, but I'm not terribly optimistic.

Forgot to mention this earlier, but I think this model for time-skipping worked pretty well. I was expecting it to be framed more as Hope thinking back to what happened to her earlier in the day, but I liked how it was handled. Speeding through things with a quick description of the scene as needed and hitting the highlights of interactions seems to work nicely for these situations.
I liked the back and forth with Jane and Hope, too. Really interesting to see how Hope handles it firsthand, with how she's constantly sending verbal jabs at Jane and adjusting her approach to maintain some control over the conversation. A real push and pull between them, with Jane showing that she's definitely able to push back and see through at least some parts of Hope's plans, and just throw a wrench in things by being her typical volatile self.

[phoneuser1992]

Alright, I had wanted the best I could to wait until I had input from multiple people before poking and verifying my understanding of what each party wanted to see. Sorry for leaving you hanging for so long 08142024. Due to a need to wait for confirmation that I've got each part right and leaving open the possible adjustments that may need to be made, I'm leaving voting open a little longer and if need must be I'll extend the writing deadline, possibly take this week as that bye week and deal with the backlog noted from adjusting Digestive Power. Let's dig into this.

[I feel... good... about having rid the world of the slut Adeline, even now in the calm of my home away from all the madness. Should... that worry me or empower me?] - Alright. So, as I understand this option, the heart and soul of this is picking over the shock and wonder that she actually doesn't feel bad about one of her prey. Poking and prodding at it, possibly with great gingerness and a bit of deep concern what might leap at her as she investigates it. Which fits Hazel's strong moral character, as her a priori stance would be to conclude out of hand that it should absolutely worry her that she feels good about devouring someone. The nuance built into it, is that this is a legitimate question which can be answered either way as the author (me) intends and Hazel, despite her a priori stance that causes her to go at the question so carefully, is honest enough to be asking the question with the integrity of changing her stance after thinking on it if she finds reason to do so. This could lead either to Hazel holding herself more tightly that every life is precious, or it could lead her to confront directly to herself that there are things she honestly believes result in a forfeit of the right to live. Possibly both, as she might decide that Adeline wasn't quite at where the line OUGHT to be despite being close enough to prove conclusively to herself that there IS that line and it doesn't take a JANE to get there. Is this a fair representation of the heart and possibilities of this option?

*

[Hope... wants to do WHAT to neutralize Elizabeth!? There are way easier ways to commit suicide!] - From the surrounding comments, I come to conclude that this option is also intended to lead to Hazel agreeing to go along with Hope's frankly crazy plan. I'm not saying it can't be the good kind of crazy, but it certainly looks like an excellent mixture of a pair of tropes... Too Dumb To Live and Bullying The Dragon. Hope is a bit of a Dangerously Genre Savvy girl though, and recognizes what sort of story this is and how things work lol. And Hazel, in this option, is doing some really deep weighing of such factors against each other. Read the entire message from Hope on screen, give Hazel's interaction with a lot of it in pieces, show that Hazel rereads it in her considerations. Emphasize the fear of Elizabeth (puppy is what Hazel thought the Queen's intensity made Jane's look like in comparison, but do remember that Jane is a 'snake' who is most scary in very different ways than headlong intensity. It's as much a contrast of their deadly aspects as an elevation of the Queen.) Possibly expand on that difference and let Hazel prod at the question of who she's actually more scared of so far, regardless of actual differences in skill level. And finally, Hazel takes in and really dwells on how the plan is all risks for Hope but all rewards for Hazel and allows it to be decisive and to shift her opinion of Hope pretty strongly. Do I accurately read an intention to move towards Hope as Hazel's friend from this? Is this summary accurate?

*

[I realized it last night, but... I really am going to have to become a monster to survive aren't I? I'm already half way there, but the road only grows darker from here...] - Nice arcing, let things get worse before they improve. Bonus points for being framed in a way that Hazel would say it. As I'm understanding this, the intent here isn't necessarily a full Pred devour all that moves monstrousity like some characters could be easily painted or just outright are, but rather is framed as the way that Hazel is self talking her way to forcing herself to do it and push past her mental blocks to build a solid 'hunting mentality' that she'll later learn to cut off. She accepts (possibly more like ignores and possibly more like assumes) that she's going to end up eating people that don't deserve it and, more importantly to this option, recognizes the monster that it makes her. But she'd see herself as a monster just eating one person, so what difference does eating enough more to compete with her rivals make? She's already a monster, already halfway there, and the only difference between continuing to victory and following her conscience to, well, starve... is that she allows her rivals to WIN and that would be exceedingly bad. I'm also seeing a sort of learning curve going on behind the scenes that Hazel's not conscious of where she's unwittingly gaining the experience to know the mostly innocent from the more likely... 'deserving' is a strong word but let's use it... that helps her as she reins things back in. She'll still make mistakes and go for people that haven't done much to become lunch as she progresses, but Hazel by then has come to accept her place in the food chain and she's making sufficient effort with an acceptable rate of success to target people that she can stomach having put away in the final development. In a way, as I understand this one and 03082024's similar concept it seems like he's got a solid 'ending point' while this makes a good 'worse before better' if I were to treat them as composite for the similarity. Which if both of you are up for, I'm thinking about doing. Anything you feel I need to correct from my understanding? Are you agreeable to blending the options?

*

[No matter how I feel about what I did, I'm going to have to do it again, and sooner rather than later. I don't want to prepare myself for that, but I should.] - Should I be properly understanding this, it would likely start with Hazel taking a good and close look at what she feels like after what she did. And then she'd take in factors both intrinsic (Cravings, Feral, Starvation) and extrinsic (Jane, Elizabeth, encouragement from various loved ones) to push herself to recognize what level of need that she has. Deliberately, and with calculation. She'll absolutely still be emotional about it, but as I understand the... distinction between this option and 08142024's variation if I assume that we jump right to here, the main difference is that in his the emotional force of the need causes a very believable overcorrection due to the lack of maturity to do exactly the kind of deliberate and calculated grounding that this version has Hazel motivated to do by those factors and then doing on the spot. It's why I suggest a blending where this is the end state, I read this as the more mature 'better' for the arc as a total. I can't easily see this version growing by leaps and bounds in terms of strength as a Pred, but her mental strength and her character would be demonstrated to be on the upper limit of what the preceeding... 200 pages of main story... has to indicate and would place demands on both to do some growing from there even. And lots of things can stem from that in a lot of ways. Is this a good understanding, or am I missing something critical? Are you agreeable to blending this with the option that you noted it being similar to?

*

[Jennifer still hasn't even been gone for two days, and I was the one who ate her. What am I supposed to think about that!?] - You are describing something that she's already gone through once with Ash, but there's plenty of emotion left with regards to Jennifer to unpack. More likely at the top of Hazel's current mental list of things to unpack with regards to her digested best friend would be the jealousy that she felt towards her, having kissed her best friend's boyfriend the day that she digested her best friend, how bad of a friend she is to have sent such provocative messages and such a picture to her best friend's boyfriend the day after she died. Not one of which has even been touched in processing and link back into aspects of the actual event that led to a dead Jennifer. Any one of those would be damning enough on her conscience if Jennifer had died in a random car crash, but having been the one to eat Jennifer makes them exponentially more loaded. We could also take a look (possibly the part you were thinking about as it's where Ash got her to) that Jennifer was either being a true friend to the end and trying to give Hazel cause to not feel... AS guilty... in those last moments or insults OR Jennifer, while a true friend for years, couldn't hold to that friendship while being digested inside her friend and snapped. The later of which is the truth of the matter, but dying inside your friend tends to sour your relationship like that so I kinda think that Jennifer's outrage and 'our friendship is over' response was sensible. And perhaps that's part of what Hazel could consider... putting herself in Jennifer's shoes and imagining if Jen had been the one to Awaken how she'd have responded to being eaten. That could be an interesting thought experiment and a new way for Hazel to prod at this old aspect. I'm trying very hard not to beat any dead horses with Jennifer, but it is cyclical by nature dealing with big traumas so I'm also trying to find enough new and fresh ways to peel that thing open and to explore related aspects that haven't been processed. At any rate, have I touched on her heart of what you were after with that exposition on things left to process with Jennifer that Hazel could easily get lost thinking about for an hour or so? Or have I been too broad in shotgunning the many aspects there are to it? I welcome refining of this point as I'm inclined to do something with either this topic or Adeline but either way needs to be narrow enough to cover in 1,000 words or so and... Last section with Hope was only 4k, so reread that section, cut it in a quarter and if I don't think I can do justice in such time than I'm unlikely to try. Still, I probably could narrow it enough myself, this is extremely open ended for me to have fun with and there's aspects that Hazel could make it all the way through in that much space.

*

[One way or another, I'm going to need to make preparations about how to actually get Jane safely dead.] - Hazel just got a MAD power boost (multiple automatic level 5s, probably at least 1 automatic level 6 and enough free xp to take something from level 0 to level 5) and now she's thinking how to leverage that into a win over Jane. Well, I'd figure on this looking like weighing her trust in Harmony's assessment that Hazel should get enough stronger from just 4 (Dawn upgraded Harmony's plans!) to take out Jane with confidence if the arrogant girl follows through on her word and Hazel drawing up contingencies for if Jane DOESN'T keep her word. Possibly extremely nasty contingencies, which is where I can see Hazel considering the use of cheating or illegal methods... whereas her trust in Harmony's assessment that LESS than what she did to train would secure a W if Jane keeps her word assuring Hazel that as long as that factor remains reliable she can fight straight and get Jane good and dead. Those contingencies would get complex fast too, since Jane is an exceedingly slippery villianess to pin down if she decides that she doesn't care anymore. This could look like finding the situation in which she could force Jane to make good on her bet or look weak so that her pride won't let her do what self preservation would imply should be done or it could look like finding some way to get a massive drop on her and beat her up. It might even include a reverting to Hope's suggestion... after all, nothing in what Hazel's done required abandoning that thread, and there's honestly ways that Hazel could play it off that would make Jane appreciate throwing that first 'match' of low stakes for the higher stakes 'shot of the month' instead. But the core of this that I'm seeing is that Hazel's decided that Jane will get hit before she transfers on Friday (that's 4 days in world, Hope just ran through Tuesday at school like lightening.) Have I hit the mark for what you're after with this?

Spoiler: show

While Hazel definitely won't take the form of a Global 5, she's likely to be a psuedo Mature Pred with things exceeding and things dipping. A Global level 5 Pred would have very nearly a 100% win rate against the current Jane. It would take a Global level 7 Pred as Prey to get decent odds of escape from a Global level 5 Pred once swallowed. And Jane WILL hold to her bet unless Hazel does something stupid. Jane is the one carrying burden of proof to get strong enough to convincingly get out in my mind atm. I mean, she does have trainings lined up for exactly that reason, but... Hazel's got a fraction of the xp costs to need to hit to make Jane's hard work void. Level 8 takes 4.5 times as much experience to reach (from 0 xp) as level 6 does. Jane needs to hit level 7 global from not yet level 5 global to be safe from Hazel having finished digesting this meal... and when Hazel levels up once more than Jane needs 1 or 2 level ups to stay safe from that. Even with a higher level of potential, unless Hazel does something to let Jane feel justified in breaking her word, Jane's days are severely numbered xD.

*

[Hope isn't who I thought she was for all these years. I don't think I can forgive her for what she's done, but there's more to her than I'd realised. What happens between us once Jane's dealt with?] - If I understand this correctly, it's an exploration of the budding respect noted during the last section with Hazel at the club as well as a conscious dive into what a future after winning would look like. Assuming that Hazel has bothered to check her phone before this part... oh, right, that's built in given the votes on that part... SINCE Hazel has checked her phone before this part it is likely that the ongoing act required by the plan to defang Elizabeth as long as possible would take a big point in Hazel's considerations of her future relationship with Hope and would be what forces her to acknowledge that she's not going to be free of her anytime soon. And I think Hazel would be surprised how many qualities of the genuine Hope she actually likes. They've got a... hell of a lot of history to try to overcome, but Hazel would see that as one piece of the entire puzzle and not obsess over it at the point she's at. End of the day, Hope is way too useful to get rid of and has proven with Elizabeth that it extends beyond Jane alone. Thus the odds are that Hazel would conclude on needing to keep some sort of relationship with Hope and wanting it to be one of mutual benefit... but seeing as Hazel isn't a bully, a boss or a sadist she likely wouldn't want to continue threatening Hope to work on her behalf for long and that would mean either colleagues or friends as the options long term. Neither of which options the current Hazel would like, but what else is there... making a mess of her mind as she tries to restructure again lol. Have I strayed from the path you had in mind, or is this the way?

[GrayLotus]

[Hope isn't who I thought she was for all these years. I don't think I can forgive her for what she's done, but there's more to her than I'd realised. What happens between us once Jane's dealt with?] - If I understand this correctly, it's an exploration of the budding respect noted during the last section with Hazel at the club as well as a conscious dive into what a future after winning would look like. Assuming that Hazel has bothered to check her phone before this part... oh, right, that's built in given the votes on that part... SINCE Hazel has checked her phone before this part it is likely that the ongoing act required by the plan to defang Elizabeth as long as possible would take a big point in Hazel's considerations of her future relationship with Hope and would be what forces her to acknowledge that she's not going to be free of her anytime soon. And I think Hazel would be surprised how many qualities of the genuine Hope she actually likes. They've got a... hell of a lot of history to try to overcome, but Hazel would see that as one piece of the entire puzzle and not obsess over it at the point she's at. End of the day, Hope is way too useful to get rid of and has proven with Elizabeth that it extends beyond Jane alone. Thus the odds are that Hazel would conclude on needing to keep some sort of relationship with Hope and wanting it to be one of mutual benefit... but seeing as Hazel isn't a bully, a boss or a sadist she likely wouldn't want to continue threatening Hope to work on her behalf for long and that would mean either colleagues or friends as the options long term. Neither of which options the current Hazel would like, but what else is there... making a mess of her mind as she tries to restructure again lol. Have I strayed from the path you had in mind, or is this the way?

Yeah, that's about what I had in mind. As you said, Hazel's about to find out that Hope's set up to be an active part of her life for the foreseeable future, assuming the plan works of course, and so there's good reason to start giving real thought to how she now feels about their relationship given the flurry of revelations that have happened over the last day. Hope makes a point of concealing her true self from almost everyone, and it's only very recently that Hazel has started to learn who she actually is instead of just who she presents herself to be to get the best results. There's a lot more depth to Hope than previously believed, although considering Hazel thought Hope was a vapid hanger-on who just did what she was told by her superiors (Lily and then Jane) that's pretty much a given. There's a good bit there that Hazel can respect. Plus, Hope's being very ambitious with the plan she came up with, and this is Hazel's first look at Hope really working to her own goals. They both benefit if this works, but it's definitely Hope taking charge here, and that's going to be a whole thing to unpack. It also raises the question of how much of their antagonistic history was a result of what Hope wanted to do, as opposed to what she felt she had to do to protect herself (especially since Jane had her Awakening).

[08142024]

[I feel... good... about having rid the world of the slut Adeline, even now in the calm of my home away from all the madness. Should... that worry me or empower me?] - Alright. So, as I understand this option, the heart and soul of this is picking over the shock and wonder that she actually doesn't feel bad about one of her prey. Poking and prodding at it, possibly with great gingerness and a bit of deep concern what might leap at her as she investigates it. Which fits Hazel's strong moral character, as her a priori stance would be to conclude out of hand that it should absolutely worry her that she feels good about devouring someone. The nuance built into it, is that this is a legitimate question which can be answered either way as the author (me) intends and Hazel, despite her a priori stance that causes her to go at the question so carefully, is honest enough to be asking the question with the integrity of changing her stance after thinking on it if she finds reason to do so. This could lead either to Hazel holding herself more tightly that every life is precious, or it could lead her to confront directly to herself that there are things she honestly believes result in a forfeit of the right to live. Possibly both, as she might decide that Adeline wasn't quite at where the line OUGHT to be despite being close enough to prove conclusively to herself that there IS that line and it doesn't take a JANE to get there. Is this a fair representation of the heart and possibilities of this option?

Pretty good summary honestly. I don't have much to add or to offer beyond my original post for the option and to affirm that you've shown a solidly working understanding of the dilemma I'm seeing face Hazel for this. As much as it sucks to feel guilty about something the next day, it's what she expected. Finding one aspect where she absolutely doesn't? That makes her feel concern spike quite strongly and put off looking at her guilt to explore the LACK of guilt where she thinks there SHOULD have been some. Before diving in and seeing how things pan out, either for or against or the option for both that you added that I hadn't considered lol.

[Hope... wants to do WHAT to neutralize Elizabeth!? There are way easier ways to commit suicide!] - From the surrounding comments, I come to conclude that this option is also intended to lead to Hazel agreeing to go along with Hope's frankly crazy plan. I'm not saying it can't be the good kind of crazy, but it certainly looks like an excellent mixture of a pair of tropes... Too Dumb To Live and Bullying The Dragon. Hope is a bit of a Dangerously Genre Savvy girl though, and recognizes what sort of story this is and how things work lol. And Hazel, in this option, is doing some really deep weighing of such factors against each other. Read the entire message from Hope on screen, give Hazel's interaction with a lot of it in pieces, show that Hazel rereads it in her considerations. Emphasize the fear of Elizabeth (puppy is what Hazel thought the Queen's intensity made Jane's look like in comparison, but do remember that Jane is a 'snake' who is most scary in very different ways than headlong intensity. It's as much a contrast of their deadly aspects as an elevation of the Queen.) Possibly expand on that difference and let Hazel prod at the question of who she's actually more scared of so far, regardless of actual differences in skill level. And finally, Hazel takes in and really dwells on how the plan is all risks for Hope but all rewards for Hazel and allows it to be decisive and to shift her opinion of Hope pretty strongly. Do I accurately read an intention to move towards Hope as Hazel's friend from this? Is this summary accurate?

Yeah, that seems about right. Hazel's stunned by the audacity and the willingness to shoulder the risk that Hope is demonstrating. Doubtless Hazel wouldn't properly weigh that Hope's prepared to do this much precisely because of how clear to Hope her upcoming death is, which will make Hope seem far more positive a character in Hazel's eyes. Especially since Hope's phone call with Jacob leads me to think Hope knows that Hazel never intended to spare her. Which makes sense to me why she was desperate to get just one more day of safety and why she was unenthusiastic about the deal she got, and especially the way that she weighed Hazel up before agreeing. But Hazel definitely doesn't think Hope knows about her subterfuge there, and Hazel isn't the sort to realize how much pressure she can apply to someone else, so those aspects would be missing from her thoughts on Hope while shifting her opinion.

Yes, I'm intending to move Hope towards being Hazel's friend. She seems a good potential choice, post reform (she's not full reformed yet, but I'm projecting), for Hazel's new best friend. She needs to move on with her life after all, and that includes new friends. It's a shocking turn of events in story over all, though the word count being poured into the pair's changing relationship could easily keep it from feeling all that shocking, but the bottomline is that there's been much stranger things happen in real life. I mean, originally I was all for eating Hope, and I slowly started to grow a feeling that she'd make a good companion and foil for Hazel... so once the story felt out that Hope wasn't doomed right away I felt that it would be appropriate story beats to lean this way instead.

[I realized it last night, but... I really am going to have to become a monster to survive aren't I? I'm already half way there, but the road only grows darker from here...] - Nice arcing, let things get worse before they improve. Bonus points for being framed in a way that Hazel would say it. As I'm understanding this, the intent here isn't necessarily a full Pred devour all that moves monstrousity like some characters could be easily painted or just outright are, but rather is framed as the way that Hazel is self talking her way to forcing herself to do it and push past her mental blocks to build a solid 'hunting mentality' that she'll later learn to cut off. She accepts (possibly more like ignores and possibly more like assumes) that she's going to end up eating people that don't deserve it and, more importantly to this option, recognizes the monster that it makes her. But she'd see herself as a monster just eating one person, so what difference does eating enough more to compete with her rivals make? She's already a monster, already halfway there, and the only difference between continuing to victory and following her conscience to, well, starve... is that she allows her rivals to WIN and that would be exceedingly bad. I'm also seeing a sort of learning curve going on behind the scenes that Hazel's not conscious of where she's unwittingly gaining the experience to know the mostly innocent from the more likely... 'deserving' is a strong word but let's use it... that helps her as she reins things back in. She'll still make mistakes and go for people that haven't done much to become lunch as she progresses, but Hazel by then has come to accept her place in the food chain and she's making sufficient effort with an acceptable rate of success to target people that she can stomach having put away in the final development. In a way, as I understand this one and 03082024's similar concept it seems like he's got a solid 'ending point' while this makes a good 'worse before better' if I were to treat them as composite for the similarity. Which if both of you are up for, I'm thinking about doing. Anything you feel I need to correct from my understanding? Are you agreeable to blending the options?

Beautiful summary, and I'm on board with bundling the concepts into one if 03082024 doesn't mind. I felt similarly about then making a good flow like that when I read his version. Glad you liked the framing, I was trying my best to say it in character and from something close to the character's current viewpoint. She needs to build up a 'hunting mentality' as you called it that she can turn on and off at will... and I just can't see herself building it without constantly labelling herself a monster. Not the way she's shown herself only willing to go forth when she's feeling powerful Cravings, not with how she bullied herself for eating Jennifer, not with how she's responded to every anecdote for Pred's she's yet to hear. I also can't see her figuring out how to turn in off at will until after she's figured out how to have it always on and gets something that jars her hard enough to feel the need to cut it off as well. But with that mentality and the ability to cut it on and off when she likes, plus the... desensitivity she's gained during her worst time? She could rise back up to the description of [No matter how I feel about what I did, I'm going to have to do it again, and sooner rather than later. I don't want to prepare myself for that, but I should.] And by the rising up, I can see her phrasing it this way because she's grown far more resilient and less vulnerable. She'd be talking about something worse in saying it, but she'd still be enough more resilient and capable to go through it in this way.

[03082024]

Apologies for forgetting to post this much earlier, but yeah, no problem with blending the two options. They fit well together into a more cohesive thing, and without doing that, it's close to impossible to actually go with both. Same root, similar results, different interpretations, and a slightly different tone, so combining them results in something that feels more complete. This whole thing looks like it can definitely end up being one of the most important arcs of the entire story, so it needs to be done right, which also means that I wouldn't complain even if I took issue with other people's input, and in this case, I don't, this type of arc works a lot better with the darker side to it. I don't have any real disagreements with any of the interpretations of the other bits, either. I don't think I have anything else to add here aside from everything that's already been said, though.

[phoneuser1992]

Hey crew. Been a busy time of things, sorry for updating y'all late. I'm making my way through the massive document I've got all of Hazel's story backed up on and making adjustments plus cleaning up any typoes or such on my way through. It's a lot more than I thought. I've written over 160,000 words for Hazel already, and that's discounting everything for voting options and starting the OP at Hazel playing cards with Jennifer... so that figure blows my mind. That's absolutely the size of a novel. That's longer than most novels actually, though as much as twice the size can be found if it were compared to top size tomes like the books in the Wheel of Time. I'm checking everything for consistency, doing belated editting of all sorts, detailing out and fixing any problems that have come smacking around with regards to the system, paying special attention to fix the sections where addressing the updates with the system means something needs to be more specially editted (Hazel and Arya at the track, Jane on the bus, Hazel meeting Jane, whereever the heck Harmony was acting like Hazel could possibly come close to finishing digesting 4 people in 24 hours instead of plotting on that taking at least 2 days, Jane texting Elizabeth and so on. There's still more because I'm steadily finding more junk I should update as I go through and as I work on making everything do what I want it to do instead of doing whatever it feels like doing. I've definitely found myself the victim of scale creep here lol) and then I'll start copy pasting the updates in once I've made some good progress. I'm around page 20 out of 209 with my formatting (single spaced, times new roman, font size 10) and mostly got there over two sessions of sitting down and reading through while steadily fixing things as I carry forward. Once I finish the backlog, I'll work on the next section for Hazel and I'll try to cover a good hefty amount for it since it will be the Great Return Segment. I've got enough voting details to keep it running up until well after Jacob arrives if I choose to after all, and that would be Hazel awake for 3-4 hours with stuff happening for much of it.

In other news, I'm working 7 days a week until I get my vacation for the holidays, so this month is staying busy already. And nothing will get done while I'm on said vacation. All my stuff is on my personal computer (desktop) and I'll be traveling. I'm not breaking down my desktop and bringing it with me just so I can work on this for you guys, sorry. Especially over spending time with my fam lol. Basically, with the surprising scale of what I'm working on at the moment and the fact that I've gained the data to actually do a significant amount of reworking the alpha sections of the system at this junction (and... I'd like to do so before I have to redo so) I'll simply say that I'm going to put this on a hiatus type status until after the New Years. Don't be shy about reminding me you love it or can't wait to see it again because I will be on and will see the reminders and motivations, but I'm not likely to reply until I start updating every single segment with corrections, adjustments, basic editing and make my way back to the front of this thing. By which point I should have finished assimilating all the factors, odds and ends that I've already hit the point of having the data for and will have a prototype for the portions of story that I... don't even have prototypes for because I didn't realize until after page 100 I needed to solve that problem (I.E., rate of birth to combat the higher death rate from Preds, the rate of weight loss and, more importantly, the rate of experience loss in a Pred experiencing weight loss)

So, until next year, this is me signing off and hoping everyone will be patient and ready to throw down votes for Hazel when I return!