Traces

[Trace]

Sacrament

It's time...

The choices were made months ago, my Sisters pairing off to get their bellies filled with babies in readiness for the warm seasons to come. While they ripened over the cold months, I was left empty, if not without comfort. Each day, their hands on my skin, words of adulation and envy whispered in my ear. For true, I envied them in kind, relishing each moment I could spend with them outside of the temple proper. Watching them grow and change, celebrating and basking in the warmth of a future my part of which would come and go, all too soon.

Small solaces.

A silvery band snaps around my throat, casting a strange, dim glow against the stones of the cathedral whenever it catches the light from the high windows. It fits snuggly against my skin, not quite choking me.

Perfect.

My father's hands touch the nape of my neck as he attaches the lead, a delicate chain of shimmering links binding us together in a bond as frail as farewell...

As I mastered my body in preparation, we began to drift apart. I don't know if I could ever have said precisely when it seemed to start, but over time there just seemed to be less and less time for me among my people. As they slowly turned away, their smiles turning from adoration to lamentation, I withdrew deeper into the winding chambers and halls of the cathedral. It was easier that way...easier for me to focus on my training, dancing alone amongst the shadows or feeling the hands of my instructors as they showed me how to hold my body and still my soul.

They, too, faded from my presence once they were no longer...needed...

He leads me to the boundary line, the great stone arch stretching far up and over us, crowned in a soft, ghostly white. All along it's length were graven the stories of our people, an indellible record of ourselves. The how and the why of us. Just a few steps further, now...

"...don't be afraid."

I don't know if the small, warm smile I offer him will be of any comfort, but it is the only thing I have to give now.

He seems so sad, behind that proud old smile. When he looks at me that way, I wonder if I shouldn't worry. But I don't. Months ago, a choice was made, and now I make my own.

I am not afraid.

"It's all right, Papa."

I'd come here before, after sunset, to listen to the stones in the sanctuary. It was not forbidden, exactly, but I think it would have made the temple guardians fretful if they'd known. They're afraid...they don't know what's beyond the threshold. I guess I didn't either, but that didn't matter. I knew what I was for, and it lay beyond. I could not imagine...not passing through.

I remembered listening to the elders talking about the turning of the years. The wheel of days, months, seasons...coming and going slow and fine like the great mills after the harvest. Talking about how we were like wheat in the mills of the gods, and things like that. The softness of time, and the brevity of our lives. The struggle to find purpose and create worth.

To live.

To grow.

To die.

This, then, would be my worth. To be the one to pass beyond the border of our little world, to face what waited there, in the thick darkness of the sanctuary. To go, never to return, so that the shadows would give back the sun. The light of my little life would slake their thirst for another generation, and my people would be safe.

I walk forward, taking the leash from my father's hand as I tread beyond the reach of his kindness and protection. He turns to leave, returning to protect those he can from what he can...beasts and hunger, storm and draught.

There is no sound here, save for that which I have brought. The whisper of slipper and gown, the steady flow of my breath. At length, darkness gives way to light again, though I know it comes from no sun that has ever graced my eyes before. I know the temple grounds, and I know that it is passing sunset. Yet the strange, tall windows set into the flat black walls of this place glow with vibrant color that scatters off me and back, filling the room with strange little stars in the thousand hues of shattered light.

Before me now is a small bowl on a pedestal, and a long, flat plane. Like a mirror laid out accross the ground. In it's reflection, there is no color...only another starry expanse.

Noone spoke of this...but I think I know what to do.

Lashing myself to the pedestal, I bow my head in reverence, taking up the bowl and kneeling to dip it in the pool. The strange water flows like liquid night, cool and oily as it stains my fingers and ripples into the vessel. Then I fill myself from it, swallowing the contents in one long, steady draught. The smell of it fills my nostrils like a fog, coating my lungs as thickly as it coats my throat. Heady and sweet, and cool at first. The thickening weight in my belly grows warm as harvest cider as I place the bowl back where it belongs.

I watch the ripples play across the stars for a moment, the echos of my disturbance. Time passes, and it grows...difficult to focus. Everything seems thick and distant. I can't tell if the ripples I'm seeing are mine, or...something else's.

Fragments of moments flash in me. The water heaves slowly, pouring off tangles of heavy flesh, glistening tendrils carrying the night sky in their wake as they reach for me. I can feel my heart throbbing in my chest, in my head, in -

The tight, wet warmth around my throat. Tugging at my wrists. I can remember my Sisters touching me, teaching me to love and celebrate -

Falling into the sky. The chain snaps, scattering glittering bits everywhere, and I hang suspended in a web of flesh. The Presence all around and burrowing within me...seeping in and out of my skin, a distant heart beating like thunder that -

Convulses, my belly heaving, something hot pouring up from my throat and running down, pale white drops falling like pearls into the pool below. I am made to dance in my god's embrace, the creature manipulating me like a doll, guiding me through the steps and poses as though it were one of the temple tutors. It feels like forever, all the days I knew and would never know. Hail and Harvest, Hope and Home, warm as -

Wasn't it warm a moment ago? I feel so -

- Cold, spreading from my core as something...gives. There's heavy a splash below, a mound of soft whiteness sinking slowly. Something deep and soft in my bones. Feel an arm pull away, so smoothly, and watch it fall. Strange. I thought my blood was red.

Flesh and bone tumble, pale and glossy, crashing into the pool and spreading out like foam against the shore.

Oh.

It lifts me high, one last time, stretching out what's left of me into an exultant skyward leap. I can feel warmth pouring from my eyes like tears as the sky starts to spin back beyond the reach of my lifeless arm, and I know -

The cold falls away with the sky, and I can see myself flying among the stars, tumbling down into their searing heat, and -

- I -

...

[Hestia042]

I enjoyed reading this very much. I reminded me of Anne Rice, quite a bit actually. Thank you for sharing !
~Hestia~

[Trace]

It's dawn when you catch the scent. The sky is a dark, rich purple, brightening and warming from behind the your little home. In it's shadow, something sweet and salt, borne on the cool night air, wafting up to meet you. Tantalizing, your mouth wetting in anticipation, the hollow ache inside you waking with need. It's been too long. It has always been too long...

Shifting your weight on your bones, you rise, stretching away the dull, aching torpor in your limbs, warming them like the dawn, and set out into a world full of life. Full of Other, swarming with endless tracks and traces, scents and signs and sounds and colors and confusions.

But there's only one that you want. One thing you need to get closer to, needing to take that scent on your tongue like you need the air in your lungs and the blood in your veins. So you pluck it's thread from your senses, and follow. Follow 'til you find, 'round each crook and corner, despairing when you lose it at a crossing or amidst the throng, only to find it again with a thrill of anticipatory joy and relief.

And then you see it. And it sees you, the creature's eyes captivated by your gaze as you are captivated by it's. You can see their breath quicken in their breast as they brace to flee, inviting you to follow. The hollow in your belly grinds in agony to be so taunted, propelling you forward. Soon...so soon...never soon enough...

Your body begins to ache and burn, your limbs hot with exertion as the dance grows long. You can hear the others screaming and singing, calling to each other, getting the word out at each frantic twist and turn, knowing you for what you are and what you are about to do. Some celebrate. Some cower. But they mean nothing to you. Not today.

And then it is time. You can taste their breath on the wind as they pant and gasp, looking at you again with those fretful eyes. Your heart pangs with sympathy, even as the core of you throbs with agonizing, impatient want. Your love for them swells as you strike, taking them into your embrace, desperate to show them what they mean to you.

They writhe, body straining and sliding sensuously in your grip, telling you of their strength, their needs and wants. They are hale and good and clean as you press your mouth to their throat, taking in the taste of them so close now.

In time, their squirming stops, their body snuggled up limply against you as they relent, acquiescing to your needs. A swell of relief and gratitude flows through your veins as you move to take them home, to keep them safe from the others, from anything that might take them from you.

The sun is setting again, the sky darkening back down to velvet as you settle in with them to make them a part of you, of your life. To encompass their power with your own, and to taste, just a little, of all the things you yourself, alone, can never be...to be filled and fulfilled, just like that...sweet and soft and perfect and whole...

...for just a little while...

[Hestia042]

<3