I want to start writing vore, what do you think of this?

[Angles]

Hey guys! I'm interested in writing vore, however I don't know if i have the chops. I thought I'd ask before I request a galley. Please let me know what you think of this quick draft of a story I wrote tonight!

It's m/m anal vore, with size difference and it's non fatal.

I hope it' s not too cringy!

Spoiler: show

It's a normal night for you and your boyfriend, filled with your nomal sexual escapades. However, today after you pull your erect cock out of his now cum filled rectum, he turns around and looks at you with a mischeivious grin. When you ask him why, he explains how today, when visiting a local sex toy shop, he managed to pick up a shrink ray. You immediately blush with embarrasment, as you've always secretly wanted to explore his body. When you tell him this, his grin widens, and he tells you in his dirty voice how much he wants you to go inside his freshly sodomized butthole. You blush even harder at this thought, and stutter out a "yes" through the intense horniness you feel. He turns over and opens his dresser, revealing a shrink ray gun. "Are you ready?" he asks. You nod, almost unable to contain your excitement. He points it at you and pulls the trigger. You feel yourself get smaller and smaller, until finally you're little over one inch tall.

Upon seeing this, your boyfriend's eyes widen. He grabs your naked body ever so gently, and lies down on his back, placing you at the base of his flaccid cock. "Maybe you want to play with this first?" he asks. You start attempting to move his foreskin, rolling it back halfway to reveal his purple cock head. It's positively massive at your stature, and you're mesmerised. You lick it all over, touching every crevice of his giant penis. The more you touch it the more it grows. In a burst of pure libido, you slide your hand into his cockslit. It's so warm and slippery inside, and you know one day you'll need to go even further with it. Now's not the time though, because he's grabbing you up for the main event.

Your boyfriend places you right next to his now massive butt cheeks. You're so excited, your tiny cock is leaking pre everywhere. He slowly pulls back his two buttocks to reveal his anus, glistening with cum. It's hard to imagine that just a few minutes ago it was filled with your penis, yet now the butthole is just your size. You decide to get closer to it. You can see it's been loosened by tonight's fun. You're so turned on by the proximity to his pucker, and you want to see every little detail. You just have to touch and lick every fold and crevice, making him quver uncontrollably. It's just breathtaking to see his private hole from so close, and you want to see an even more private part: his rectum. You tell him you're ready, and he pushes out, dilating his anus. You can already see into his butthole, gaped somewhat from your adventures. At the moment, it looks like a fleshy cavern. You take a deep breath and hoist yourself into his body. You can't beleive you're actually inside him, and the simple thought is making you almost ejaculate. You pull yourself down, and look around the inside of his body. its breathtaking. Your semen is everywhere, coating the walls of your body. When you turn around, you can see the light of the outside illuminating it through his anus. However, he starts to close it, leaving you inside to explore. You wander about his rectum, prodding and humping everywhere, until suddenly the surroundings shift as he turns on his side. This causes his body to compress around you, squishing you from every angle with his cum soaked insides. This pushes you over the edge, and you finally cum again. You slowly relax in the confines of his body.

Soon after, you feel the walls compress, and under you, the peek of light. Your flesh ripples you and the puddle of cum lower and lower through his rectum, until you're pushed out of his anus, along with your semen from earlier, onto a towel. Your boyfriend turns around, and picks you up to wash you off. After cleaning you, he unshrinks you and you both fall asleep in each others arms.

[Slayerhero90]

It's certainly a solid beginner's go at it, but you made a wise choice in seeking opinions. Though I should note that you're cool to get a gallery no matter where your original work's at quality-wise so long as Eka can see what you got. And I don't mean to, like, discourage you from writing well so much as reassure you of your merit as an author, but one important thing to note is that, no matter the quality of your work here, you will have plenty of fans, especially if your work fills a less-catered-to niche. Again, not endorsing the act of not giving it your all.

Now, I'm gonna admit I didn't read it as thoroughly as your intended audience would because dudes really aren't my thing at all, but I can still impart some general-purpose advice based on what I saw. Feel free to listen to or ignore it at your leisure. Also, I don't wanna condescendingly explain every nuance of grammar to you and make a total ass of myself, so let me know if you need an explanation or clarification of what something I say means.

First things that come to mind are things that a lot of newer authors have problems with: limited sentence structure and vocabulary.

I'm seeing like 80-90% of these sentences invariably starting with the subject of the sentence instead of, perhaps, a dependent clause, and the majority of them being either a single independent clause, a pair of independent clauses, or an independent clause followed by a dependent clause. Mixing in some sentences made of longer chains of clauses while retaining short sentences would suit this manner of prose nicely. On the bright side, you appear to have a good grasp on the importance of focusing on active voice (but don't be afraid to use passive every now and then) and you aren't overdosing on sentence fragments.

As for the vocabulary used, it's not as limited as most new authors' vocabs are. Truthfully, it mostly seems like you're struggling with keeping your references to body parts varied, one of the bigger roadblocks when it comes to writing smut. Fixing this is an act threading of needles, a maintenance of balances. You definitely don't wanna get too clinical with your terminology but lingering too long in crudeness and slang can make it just as bland. Euphemisms can easily expand the list of terms you use for given parts and processes but using too many or making them out-of-place within the context of the scene or the sentence structure is a quick descent into tackiness. The same can be said for using more adjectives; by no means does every noun need an adjective, but appending one onto a noun you use a lot can make it feel much less overused.

I'm also observing something you may wanna work on with describing sensations. There's a lot of "you feel"s and "you can feels" in this excerpt, which I'm personally not a fan of and which definitely do not help immersion. My advice is, in almost all situations in which you find yourself making a "you sense" kind of clause, like, "You feel the walls compress", see if rewriting it as a straight-up "it happens", like "The walls compress" works better.

Those are the most glaring things to me, and again, it's way better than some of the stuff I've seen on here. I do encourage you to get that gallery and start producing, as well as suggest you take a peek at someone else's works that you think are written well, whether they be erotic or otherwise. Hell, study songs or poetry if seeing how those folk cope with the constraints of their medium interests you. That knowledge can definitely be applied to writing prose. And, if you'd like, I could give more advice on the behind-the-scenes aspects of writing that aren't so evident from just studying other folk's work.

[Angles]

Wow that is a... lot of info! Thanks! I totally agree with what you say. I'm gonna try and rectify those issues and go for a gallery. Thanks!