Steve's fate. Half-sized (Amazons), soft F/m

[spanxthanx]

I must preface this by saying praised be Terry Pratchett! I've learned a lot about creative writing from his even more creative writing. I hope you'll enjoy, it's the first chapter of a book I'm writing and it's 24 pages but there's a lot of dialogue with air in it, so it's really only about 18 pages. It's like Fantasy without the magic. The chapter is named after the POV character, the next chapter is has a different POV character.

https://drive.google.com/open?id=1IfEkv ... JEWMbVGPKj

[Wolfsage]

It was pretty good, but it had too much poop-stuff and other such disgusting things in my opinion. But it was still a good chapter and I'm looking forward to the next one.

[Tassie]

...poop-stuff and other such...

Happy I caught that note; spared. Thanks, Yin/Yang.

[Adelais]

Well, the poop-stuff didn't bother me at all because it's one of the aspects of vore that I enjoy. I really like the setting and overall concept of the mini-giantesses and female-dominated world, and I think a farm is a good place to tell that kind of story. The two main female predators are really stimulating, and I also like the references to other dangerous, female creatures like mermaids, which I hope may come up in future chapters. I also found both the one vore scene AND the story about the guy being digested by vomit very entertaining; the latter being an interesting scenario that rarely comes up.

My only fairly minor criticisms are that your paragraphs are too long and, early in the story, you somewhat overused the word "admonish." If you find a particular word coming up more than twice in a paragraph, it's often a good idea to use a synonym to break up the monotony. As for the paragraph length, I'm a long-winded writer with a penchant for compound sentences; however, the paragraph should be a tool for breaking a text into blocks that are manageable by the reader. Reading a paragraph that is too long is like drinking a whole bottle of soda at once. While it's possible, it isn't very enjoyable. Smaller paragraphs will improve the flow of the text, make it easier to keep your place while reading, and make the reader less likely to get overwhelmed and skip ahead.

Overall, I think this was a great first chapter, and I can't wait to read more. Lots of people aren't into the scat stuff, but lots of other people are, so don't be discouraged even if most of them don't leave any comments. I would, however, strongly suggest you put "scat" as one of the tags in the title or in your first post so that people who aren't into it can move along. Great job and good luck.

[Wolfsage]

Well, the poop-stuff didn't bother me at all because it's one of the aspects of vore that I enjoy.

And that's perfectly fine, I never said it was a bad story, and in fact I look forward to the next part. I merely said what I personally wasn't a fan of, cuz not only do I not like that stuff, it literally makes me feel bad, like I'm about to get sick when I read about that.
I just prefer such details to be very minor, if not flat out absent, but that is just me.
That was all.