I made this about a few days ago. I only started writing vore stories like a month ago and I would really appreciate it if you guys told me what you think!
This is actually my 2nd story.
Here's the link:
https://aryion.com/g4/view/490913
Just some CV
Forum rules
This section is for any artist, writer, animator, or any form of creation to share their work in order to receive comment to improve themselves better.
Read the rules in detail here
Read the Critiquing suggestion here
Please open only one thread per person. Detail here.
This section is for any artist, writer, animator, or any form of creation to share their work in order to receive comment to improve themselves better.
Read the rules in detail here
Read the Critiquing suggestion here
Please open only one thread per person. Detail here.
6 posts
• Page 1 of 1
Re: Just some CV
Bruh, I don't wanna alarm you, but after reading this I think... It might be a little gay.
-
Houyo - ???
- Posts: 3039
- Joined: Fri Dec 23, 2005 12:00 am
Re: Just some CV
Nah, I'm just kidding. I'm totally to tired to have proper reading comprehension right now, but you're off to a good start with your writing. Keep it up and you'll go far.
And as the only real comment I can give that isn't hollow platitudes, I liked the comment in the end about keeping him in there until november ends or something. Long term entrapment is great.
And as the only real comment I can give that isn't hollow platitudes, I liked the comment in the end about keeping him in there until november ends or something. Long term entrapment is great.
-
Houyo - ???
- Posts: 3039
- Joined: Fri Dec 23, 2005 12:00 am
Re: Just some CV
Houyo wrote:Bruh, I don't wanna alarm you, but after reading this I think... It might be a little gay.
Houyo wrote:Nah, I'm just kidding. I'm totally to tired to have proper reading comprehension right now, but you're off to a good start with your writing. Keep it up and you'll go far.
And as the only real comment I can give that isn't hollow platitudes, I liked the comment in the end about keeping him in there until november ends or something. Long term entrapment is great.
It is gay XD
And I really appreciate the positive feedback!
-
Narkotic - Been posting for a bit
- Posts: 38
- Joined: Wed May 18, 2016 9:21 am
- Location: Philippines
Re: Just some CV
Loving your stories so far. Definitely looking forwards to seeing what other stuff you come out with!
Don't worry, I don't bite.... Often!
- bighead
- Participator
- Posts: 311
- Joined: Tue May 01, 2007 11:00 pm
Re: Just some CV
Hey, thanks for sharing your story. Glad to see new storytellers and I hope you have a fun time writing new stuff.
This was a cute one. The idea works really well and easily plays into the cock vore. Sam and Derrick are a cute couple. I love how teasing and dominating Sam is. I second Houyo's comment about the remarks at the end. Very fun stuff. You put in quite a few little details that solid the story (the boxer bulge, the dick size comparisons, the change in Sam's balls size). Seriously, you're off to a great start as a writer. Definitely encourage you to keep it up!
One point I would recommend is putting in paragraph breaks, like the way you have them at the end of the story. It would just make the story more readable. But overall, nice work!
This was a cute one. The idea works really well and easily plays into the cock vore. Sam and Derrick are a cute couple. I love how teasing and dominating Sam is. I second Houyo's comment about the remarks at the end. Very fun stuff. You put in quite a few little details that solid the story (the boxer bulge, the dick size comparisons, the change in Sam's balls size). Seriously, you're off to a great start as a writer. Definitely encourage you to keep it up!
One point I would recommend is putting in paragraph breaks, like the way you have them at the end of the story. It would just make the story more readable. But overall, nice work!
-
Belloc - Somewhat familiar
- Posts: 93
- Joined: Sun Feb 14, 2016 9:33 am
6 posts
• Page 1 of 1
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: Futafan357