slapped together a pov story

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slapped together a pov story

Postby mioda0921 » Wed Nov 07, 2018 8:51 pm

https://aryion.com/g4/view/491809
i don’t think it’s anything special, but i want to stop lurking and get my thoughts written down
thoughts or suggestions on what i’m good at and what to improve?
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Re: slapped together a pov story

Postby Sazzy » Mon Nov 19, 2018 9:54 pm

Yeah, I'd fix the formatting too just to make it more easily accessible....

But damn, this is your first go at it?! This is some G shit right here. I was totally pulled in from the begin, remarkably descriptive, and the conflicting emotions between characters, I mean DAMN! I loved it!
Liberate tutemet ex inferis.
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