Writer Looking For Feedback

Are you looking for a place to post your work, hoping to receive comments, suggestions and criticisms? If so, this forum is for you! Showcase your stories, drawings, animations, and anything else you have created here. You can even upload your files directly to our site! Note: Everyone is free to share opinions of anything here. If you can't handle criticism, refrain from posting here!
Forum rules
This section is for any artist, writer, animator, or any form of creation to share their work in order to receive comment to improve themselves better.

Read the rules in detail here

Read the Critiquing suggestion here

Please open only one thread per person. Detail here.

Writer Looking For Feedback

Postby hetcomc » Sat May 04, 2019 9:31 pm

Hello, here two recent vore stories I've written. Please let me know what you think.

It was a rainy, peaceful day at the Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters. No innocents to save, no super villains or Francis’s to thwart. A well deserved day off for our heroes. The kind of day where you wouldn’t think two of the super-cutest people you would ever meet, not to mention the first LGBTQ+ couple in a superhero film (Suck it House of Mouse! Wait, they technically own me now, can I say that? Oh, who am I kidding, they’re keeping me under the Fox logo with the other R-rated filth they wouldn’t want to sully themselves with (cough, Aliens, cough). Anyway, where was I? Oh right.) would get eaten. Greetings dear reader, my name is Deadpool, and this is my vore story.
You know, of all the kinky stuff (International Women’s Day anyone? I know you all laughed at that scene.) Vanessa and I did throughout our glorious time together, we never even knew about vore. I tell you, we were missing out. Makes getting pegged or vampire teeth cunnilingus look like a garden tea party. Seriously, if fetishes were comic book movies, vore is Scott Pilgrim vs The World; not a lot of people know about it, but those that do know it's so damn awesome!
You’re probably asking yourself, “How did I discover this?” I’m glad you asked! You see, me time is a very precious thing in my life, and my favorite unicorn just wasn’t doing it for me lately. It was making me so frustrated, I even snapped at Yukio just for saying hi. I know, right! Poor thing was so worried about me, she’d never seen me so sulky. I felt awful, so I needed to rectify this mistake. I treated Yukio to lunch to make up for being so mean, and that’s when she confided in me she’d been having some romantic troubles of her own. You see, turns out Negasonic Teenage Grumpypants wasn’t giving her the affection she needed (shocker), and was looking for a way to spice things up in the bedroom. Well, I’m not about to let one of my best friends have her needs unfulfilled, so I set to work on finding a way to help. I scoured the internet looking for the perfect kink to ignite Grumpypants’s romantic spark. That’s when I discovered it: Eka’s Portal. It. Was. Glorious! I don’t think people truly value what an erogenous zone the belly can be. I saw a few drawings where people were getting it on inside the stomach, and that’s when it hit me. What a better place to work out your sexual differences than inside someone’s belly! Think about it: confined space, dark, wet, slimy, hot and steamy, it’s perfect! It’s like making love in a cramped sauna after a power outage! There’s nowhere for Grumpypants to run either, so she’ll have no choice but to change her unaffectionate ways until they get let out...or digested. Right, that was a hurdle I had to overcome. The world wouldn’t be as fun without these two, so I had to find someone who would be able to eat them and get them out without the whole melty-digesty thing happening. I should be so lucky…
“Hey Domino!”
“Want to have a lesbian threesome with Yukio and Negasonic Teenage Warhead and then eat them? I cleared it with Yukio, she’s cool with it. I know you’re super lucky and stuff, so you can get them out safely without the whole melty-digesty thing happening. Besides, people love your new redesign from the movie, they’ll love you with a big vore belly! Well, technically it’s a story, so they can’t see you, but maybe some lovely artist will do drawing of you? Stuffedbellygirl might, her art is great, and she’s just the sweetest thing. What do you say?”
And that, dear readers, is how Equestria was made. Now, I’m going to hand the rest of the story off to hetcomc, he’s better at writing the sexy bits. Enjoy!

Rain pounded hard against the windows of the school lounge. Most of the students had gone away for a field trip, with only a few professors and older students staying behind. The cool breeze of the air conditioner could be felt throughout the halls, enveloping the enormous building in a blanket of cool, sleepy air. Negasonic Teenage Warhead was reclining on a couch, her eyes glued to her phone, plowing through social media and YouTube. She had ditched her black and yellow outfit on her day off for a black crop top that exposed her toned stomach, and tight brown pants that were ripped at the knees. She was so transfixed on her phone, she didn’t hear her girlfriend Yukio come in. The cute Japanese girl was wearing blue and white striped leggings and loose fitting black t-shirt. Her light purple streaked hair was hanging undone around her lovely face. The couch wasn’t very big, but they were both small enough they didn’t crowd it as Yukio sat at her girlfriends feet. She tried to touch them, but she pulled them away.
“What do want Yukio, I’m busy.”
“Well, there’s barely anyone here, I was hoping we could get a little frisky today.”
“Sorry, not in the mood.”
“Ellie, your never in the mood! Come on, please.”
Yukio pouted, but Negasonic didn’t look up from her phone.
“Some other day.”
“What if I told you I brought Domino to play with us,” said Yukio, smiling coyly. Negasonic looked up at her girlfriend’s playful face. Domino was really hot, and she had an amazing ass.
“Okay, fine.”
Yukio took Negasonic’s hand as they headed for her room. Yukio’s heart was racing with anticipation. She opened the door to her room, plastered in anime posters, pink and purple decorations, and all manner of things cute. Domino was ready and waiting for them. In the cover of the rain, her beautiful skin was a darker, and she was already naked, lounging on Yukio’s bed. Her body was fit, with supple breasts, strong thighs, and wide hips that perfectly complimented her generous ass.
“I guess she said yes.”
“Then let’s get started.”
Domino got up to help undress the other two, but Negasonic was already hurriedly taking her clothes off, eager to get right to business. She grabbed Domino by the shoulders, turned her around, and flung her back towards the bed, her butt pointed up at her. She finished undressing and went straight to work as Yukio took her time watching, while Negasonic dove in to eat her fill. She immediately went to town on Domino’s ass, licking, kissing, nibbling, spanking, and sucking it all over.
“Geeze, don’t you want to go a little slow-OH FUCK! Wow, never mind, you’re really good at that,” Domino giggled amidst at chorus of slurping and kissing sounds. Yukio made her way over to her girlfriend, who grabbed her by the hair and pulled her down to Domino’s butt.
“Dig in. It’s really tasty,” she commanded, shoving her face into Domino’s ass. Yukio gladly obeyed, digging her tongue deep into Domino’s asshole, slurping and gulping. She tasted amazing. After a few minutes, Negasonic brought three of them to their feet for an intense, sloppy makeout session. She and Yukio were giving Domino a second hand taste of her ass, and it so delicious. The kissing went on and on, with lots of groping, nibbling, and tongues, all over their faces, lips, mouths, necks, and breasts. Saliva was practically soaking everyone by the time Negasonic reclined on the bed and ordered Yukio to eat her out. Yukio, ever the submissive, obeyed without hesitation. Domino, wasn’t about to let Yukio go without attention, and proceeded to play with and caress her feet. Her nails were the same light purple shade as her hair, and her toes tasted positively scrumptious as she sucked on them. So tasty, Domino figured now was as good a time as any to get started on eating them. She swallowed Yukio feet first, and slowly but surely made her way up, her eyes rolling back in her head as she was overwhelmed by Yukio’s taste and the sensation of her tummy filling up. Eventually, she swallowed her up completely, as Yukio waited in anticipation for Negasonic to join her in Domino’s belly. Domino had taken Yukio’s place in eating Negasonic out, which she quickly noticed. Seeing that Yukio was nowhere to be seen, and that Domino’s gut was considerably larger, she reached the logical conclusion.
“What the fuck! Did you just eat Yukio?”
“BUUURRRP! Yeah. She was sooo delicious.”
“You bitch! I’m going to kick your ass!”
Domino’s belly surged as Yukio’s came from it.
“Ellie, don’t!”
“Don’t? She fucking ate you!”
Yukio tried to plead with Negasonic to stop, but she wouldn’t listen. She kicked Domino in the chest, sending her toppling over onto her stomach, belching and moaning in agony over her full tummy being knocked around. Negasonic leaped off the bed, getting to charge up for a devastating hit, ready to shove her hand up Domino’s ass and pull Yukio out. Domino was so full and dazed, her body just relaxed on the floor, as Negasonic came down hard.
Negasonic was sucked up into Domino’s waiting asshole with the force of a rocket launch, colliding violently with Yukio as entered her stomach. Domino was in tears, reeling from the mix of ecstasy and pain, her brain going blank as a waterfall of saliva poured from her mouth, mixing with the tears streaming down her face. She lay there, occasionally convulsing with pleasure, on top of her engorged tummy. Her belly bulged and gurgled loudly away as her muscles, skin, and viscera acclimated themselves to their meal. It took several minutes before she could even talk again.
“Uuuuuggggghhh, fuck! BUUUUUUOOOOAAAARRPH! Ooooooooh, fuck me! UUUUUUUUUAAAAAAOOOOORRRP! That was amazing. BUUURRRP! I didn’t know I could eat someone like that. URRRRROOOAARRRP! Fuck, it feels so good! Ugh, fuck, so good. My belly, it's BUURRP! so big. BEEELCH! Give me just a second, tummy, and I'll lie down so you can stretch out. BURRRP! Ooooooh, fuck. It's a good thing my asshole can stretch so well. OOOORRRRP!”
Meanwhile, inside of her belly, Negasonic was coming out of her own daze. It was hot and slimy, and it smelled just like her asshole tasted. She felt the slick walls of Domino's stomach push her and Yukio together.
“Where the fuck...Yukio? Are we…”
“Yes, inside of Domino’s belly.”
“I’m getting us out if I have to rip her open!”
“No?” Yukio started to cry.
“Ellie, you may be able to get through life without any physical affection, but I can’t. I love you so much, and it hurts me that you never want to cuddle or make love to me. You treat me like a cute decoration. Please, I really want us to be together, but you have to meet my needs too. Please, Ellie. Stay here with me. She’ll let us out later. I trust Domino, she won’t digest us.”
Feeling around the dark stomach, Negasonic caressed Yukio’s face.
“I’m sorry Yukio. I love you too. I love you so much. Of course I’ll stay with you. I’ll stay here as long as you want.”
Negasonic kissed her and cuddled her close, Yukio nuzzling her face in her breasts. Domino managed to move to the bed where she stretched out to allow more room for her full tummy. No sooner did she get comfortable, when the door to Yukio’s room opened, and a familiar red clad man stood in the doorway.
“Honey, I’m home,” Deadpool announced, “GASP! Did you eat dinner without me?”
Skipping his way over to Domino, who at this point had fallen asleep, he leaned down close to belly.
“Hi Wade.”
“Hi Yukio. I’m guessing my little plan was a success?”
“It’s perfect. Thank you so much. I’ll have to thank Domino later too.”
“Be sure that you do. It was very generous of her to eat you both. Now, I’ll leave you to it. Don’t stay in there too long. I like you much better as a person than ass fat.”
“Bye Wade.”
“Bye Yukio.”
Backing away from Domino, Deadpool took out his phone, taking several pictures of Domino’s naked, engorged body, getting every angle and close up he possibly could.
“Oh, yeah, I’m totally touching myself to these later.”
Deadpool made his way out the door, but before closing it, he blew a kiss towards Domino.
“Have fun in there lovebirds. I’ll see you later.”


Robin and Ian Woods were preparing their home for their daughter’s fifth birthday party. Several of her friends, and likewise their parents, were coming over in the early afternoon for the party, and the couple was getting things ready with vigor, since they both figured she was at the right age where they could really pull out all the stops for her. Robin, her tanned skin reflecting the light of the early morning sun, was hard at work preparing her daughter’s favorite breakfast: homemade chocolate chip waffles with whipped cream, fresh strawberries, and a side of sausage. The sweet and savory smells filled the kitchen as she moved with a dance in her step, causing her long, curly brown to sway and bounce with her movements more than usual. She was wearing black leggings and a tight, black floral patterned t-shirt, both of which flaunted the curves and lines of her toned, fit body as she moved quickly and precisely around the kitchen, her tennis training shining through with each step. Ian was busy in the dining room arranging presents, scrolling through Pinterest on his phone to try and replicate a particular present tableau he thought looked really pretty. He had finished all the decorations a few days ago, and this was the last thing to prepare. His dark blue t-shirt matched his eyes, which were constantly between his phone and the presents, trying to get it to look just right. Eventually, settled on an arrangement, and took a step back. He smiled, running his fingers through his short, black hair, but it soon faded. While he was overjoyed to celebrate his daughter’s birthday, something had been weighing on his mind. He went into the kitchen, admiring his wife’s gorgeous figure as she put the finishing touches on a plate of waffles.
“What’s wrong darling?”
“There’s been something bothering you all morning, what is it?”
“Ha ha, um…,” Ian nervously laughed before letting out a short sigh, “Why a clown?” Robin perked up at her husband’s words..
“You mean the entertainment I hired for Chloe’s party, what about it?”
“Come on, honey, you know how I feel about clowns. Ever since…” Robin turned around and cut him off.
“I know, darling, I know, but believe it or not, not everyone’s afraid of clowns.” Ian shifted uncomfortably, and Robin looked at her husband with loving concern. She walked over to her husband, wrapping her arms around him above his shoulders, while he hugged her around her waist. She was only slightly shorter than Ian, even without shoes. She planted a gentle, warm kiss on his lips.
“Trust me, I interviewed her myself, she showed me her demo reel, she did a quick live demonstration, and I looked up reviews for her services; she’s amazing at what she does, and she’s such a sweet and kind person. She’s never had a single complaint from a client about scaring anyone.”
“Not one?”
“Not a single one.” Ian sighed again.
“Well, I’ll believe it when I see it.” Robin laughed.
“Well, fear not, I’ll protect you if that mean old clown tries to scare you.” Ian couldn’t help but giggle, as he pulled her close for two quick, flirty kisses, followed by an lengthy, impassioned kiss as they squeezed each other tighter.
“Good morning.” The soft, angelic voice of a little girl came from other side of the kitchen. Chloe was wearing Beauty and the Beast pajamas, her short bob cut of her father’s hair made a window to her cute face that had her mother’s brown eyes.
“Hey,” Robin rushed over and scooped her daughter up in big hug, “Good morning birthday girl! Oh, you just look so cute, I could eat you up!” Robin gave her daughter a series of kisses.
“Hey now,” Ian went over to join his beautiful girls, “you better save some for me!”
The two parents nibbled, tickled, and kissed their daughter, who was laughing and squirming in vain to get away. Eventually, they settled down, embracing each other, and Chloe felt an overabundance of love for her parents as she squeezed them both as tight as her little arms could hold them.
“Sweetie, are you ready for breakfast,” Robin asked.
“Yeah!” Chloe ran over to the counter, jumping for joy at the sight of her favorite breakfast. The family sat down to eat, enjoying each other’s company and Robin’s delicious food.

The guests had all arrived. The children were all playing in the backyard while the parents were mingling, piling their presents in the dining room and chatting away about the goings on of their lives. Robin and Ian received an excess of compliments about how cute Chloe was, which they took immense pride in. Time passed quickly, and Robin soon realized the entertainment would be showing up soon. She tapped her glass of lemonade with a spoon to get everyone’s attention.
“Okay everyone, lunch is just about ready,” she told the parents, “Let’s head outside, and the entertainment will be here soon. We’ll eat while the kids get their show, and then we can head back inside to do presents and cake.”
Ian was wearing a floral print barbecue apron that Robin had picked out for him. He didn’t mind wearing the flowers because his wife loved them so much, regardless of how the other dad’s in the group may have felt. He had spent the last few hours going back and forth between engaging with his guests and preparing lunch, which consisted of the usual cookout suspects: burgers, hotdogs, corn on the cob, cole-slaw, various chips, veggies, and dips, watermelon, and an assortment of drinks. The guests and hosts all set to digging, Ian receiving a mix of compliments about his grilling skills and choice of apron. Robin stole a quick kiss from her husband before gathering up all the children. The woman she hired had given her specific instructions on how to introduce her.
“Hey everyone, are you all having fun?” A chorus of nods and happy noises came over the children munching on their food. “Well, we have a special treat for you all, and she will arriving in 3...2...1!”
The kids were wide eyed with anticipation as a what sounded like a cannon went off in the distance, followed by pointing and cheers as what looked like a person was shooting towards the backyard through the air. Ian was gripping his grill spatula in a mix of fear and anticipation. Where was she going to land? No sooner had he thought this when out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a kiddy pool near the children. When did that get there? Did she set it up earlier? He’d been out here preparing lunch and he hadn’t noticed. The figure stretched her arms out in front of her like a diver, and he saw she was on course to hit the kiddy pool. Before he could react, before he could get a clear view of what she looked like, she dove right into the pool, her whole body disappearing, sending a great big splash of water into the air. The children cheered as the adults gasped with reverence. A few moments past, just enough to produce the slightest bit of tension, when the mystery performer leaped from the kiddy pool into several mid air somersaults and landing with the grace of a gymnast. She didn’t even look the slightest bit wet.
“Ta-dah,” She cheerfully proclaimed as the children and parents clapped and cheered while she took a graceful curtsy. She wasn’t at all what Ian expected. Her skin was as white as milk and smooth as silk. Her figure was plump and curvy, with large thighs, wide hips, a full, round bottom, a cute potbelly, and an ample bosom. Her lips, round clown nose, and shoes, were the same color as his shirt, a lovely shade of dark blue. Her clothes were the color of cotton candy, baby blue and pink, with horizontal striped tights, a leotard that half vertical stripes, half polka dots with pom-poms down the middle. Her forearms were covered by striped half sleeves with ruffles on the ends, and a polka dot cap adorned her head atop her short, pink hair. The children settled down as she spoke up.
“Hello everyone! My name is Candy the Clown, it’s so nice to meet you all. Now let’s see if I can guess who the birthday girl is.” She bent over and pointed at the various smiling faces of the children before stopping at Chloe.
“I think it’s...you.”
“Yeah,” Chloe rushed over and gave Candy a big hug, nuzzling against her squishy body, “I think you’re really pretty Ms. Candy.” Candy’s heart melted.
“Awww, you’re so sweet. You probably hear this all the time, but I could just eat you up. What’s your name sweetie?”
“Chloe. I’m 5,” she said beaming, holding up her hand to show.
“Well, tell me Chloe, do like balloon animals?”
“What’s your favorite kind of balloon animal?”
“I really like dogs!”
“Dogs it is then!” Everyone watched in awe as with incredible speed and with seemingly no air source or balloons, Candy made dozens of balloon dogs, all made of such brightly colored balloons that floated down to the ground as she finished. Before anyone could pick them up, however, Candy whistled, and everyone watched in amazement as the balloons seemed to move by themselves. They all marched to front of the group to join Candy, where they arranged themselves by color. She whistled again, and they floated up on top of each other to form pyramids. The crowd clapped in delight of such a charming display. Candy had her balloon canines perform various other tricks before whistling one last time. The balloons unfurled themselves and twisted in and amongst each other, forming a completely new shape. Everyone watched with their jaws open as the balloons came together at the end to form a large unicorn of all the different colors of the rainbow. Everyone applauded and cheered at the amazing display, as Candy hoisted up Chloe onto it’s back for a ride as it trotted around the backyard. Robin nudged her husband with her elbow.
“Well, what do you think? I told you she was amazing.”
“I don’t know what to think. I’ve never seen anything like it. How is she doing all this?”
“Oh, honey, don’t worry about it. Just pretend it’s real magic.” He looked at her with a perplexed expression, but she simply smiled and rested her head on his shoulder.
“Well, alright,” he said, kissing her. He looked back in the direction of Candy and the children, only to discover the balloon unicorn was gone, and she was now using some sort of bubble wand to make enormous bubbles, even bigger than she was. The kids were clapping and cheering as even more bubbles of all shapes and sizes filled the air, as they played with and popped them. Candy ran and leaped into one of the large bubbles, and everyone cheered and gasped as she remained inside of it floating up in the air. Wives clutched their husbands arms as she floated up into the air, about 15 feet off the ground, but looks of awe turned into gasps of horror as the bubble popped, and Candy plummeted towards the ground. It happened so fast, no one had time to react.
“Woooooooah,” Candy screamed on the way down before landing on her plump bottom and bouncing into the air again. The gasps of horror changed to those of awe once again as she bounced on her butt a few more times, the children laughing and clapping with glee at such a silly sight. However, on her final bounce, instead of going up, she went to the side, her butt colliding with the table that had all the food set up on it at just the right angle to send the food, and all of its bowls and platters soaring into the air. Everyone gasped again at the sight of the it all. Ian and Robin were dreading the mess or someone getting hurt, when to their amazement Candy righted the table, and stepped back to open her mouth wide. Moving around as to not miss anything that fell, she gulped down all the food, plates, trays, and bowls that fell back down. Her potbelly expanded greatly as she continued to swallow everything up. When the last of it was in her tummy, everyone watched in silence as she took a deep breath, and with a sound like a t-shirt cannon at a sporting event, she puffed up every plate and bowl, and every single one landed in a neat stack on the table, not a crack or dent to be seen on any of them. Her tummy was still bloated up more due to all the food that was inside of it, which she patted as she let out a cute burp. The children laughed, and everyone was soon clapping and laughing about what they had just seen, but Chloe rushed forward to see if she was okay.
“Are you alright Ms. Candy?”
“I sure am sweetie, thank you for asking.”
“You’re not hurt at all?”
“Nope, not at all” she said, twirling around to show her body was uninjured. She knelt down next to Chloe. “I’m sorry sweetie, did I worry you?” Chloe nodded. Candy embraced her in a warm hug. She brushed her hand on her cheek, and the little girl’s look of worry changed to big smile. “There’s that beautiful smile!”
“Wow, you’re so cool,” one of the little boys exclaimed.
“Yeah, can you that again,” another girl chimed in.
“Well, I could, but I’d need a volunteer from the audience. What do you say moms and dads?”
“I’ll do it,” Robin called out, raising her hand. Ian looked like he was about to pass out, but she prevented him from protesting. “I’ll be fine.”
Candy used her balloons to make seesaw like contraption, as Robin stood on end, while she went to the other. She whispered some instructions in her ears, as Ian wondered if this was all part of the act that she had been in on since the beginning.
“Okay everyone, count down with me,” she called to the children, who joined in, “3...2...1!”
Candy jumped up and landed on the other side of the seesaw, and everyone cheered and gasped as Robin flew up and over into the air, crossing her arms. Candy opened her mouth, and Robin fell right in, causing Candy’s belly to balloon outwards from such a large meal. The children and adults alike clapped and cheered the cute performer and her engorged belly, except Ian, who had never felt so conflicted in his life. He didn’t know whether he was frightened out his mind, or the most aroused he’d ever been in his life.
“Ta-dah! BUUUUUUUOOOARRRRPH! Oops, excuse me.” The children all laughed at her burp, as Candy licked her lips and rubbed her belly. Robin tasted so yummy, and she felt so nice in her belly.
“Alright everyone, count down with me again,” the children joined in once again, “3...2...1!” Candy took a deep breath, and just like the plates before, spat Robin up as she went flying through the air into the kiddy pool, disappearing into it and re-emerging moments later looking completely dry, just as Candy had done earlier. Robin had wide grin on her face and was laughing at everything that happened. She and Candy took bow to applause of everyone, as she went to rejoin the other adults. Before Ian had a chance to speak, she embraced him.
“I’m fine, darling. I’m fine.” Ian looked into his wife’s lovely eyes, and he began to feel a rush of calm come over him. They turned to look at Candy as she spoke up again.
“All right everyone, for my last act, how about a little transformation?” The children cheered in response. “Okay, then I’m going to need one more volunteer.”
“Him!” Robin called out, raising Ian’s arm, as he shot her a horrified look, but it was in vain to fight against it. Before he knew it, he was standing next to Candy, who had pulled a large pink sheet from her hat, which she then draped over him.
“Is everyone ready,” she asked to a chorus of cheers, pulling away the sheet, reveal in Ian’s place an enormous balloon, the same color as his shirt. Everyone cheered in response, but as she went to cover the balloon with the sheet it popped in a burst of pink and baby blue confetti. Everyone gasped, even Robin, who clasped her hands over her mouth. Candy gave a wide smile.
“Don’t worry everyone, I just need your help to bring him back. Can you do that?” Everyone cheered in response, Chloe in particular was eager to get her daddy back.
“Alright everyone, concentrate on really hard on bringing him back.” Chloe thought really hard about this morning, and how she loved to cuddle her daddy, and how much she wanted him to come back. She watched as the confetti on the ground moved up in the air, seeming to build on itself, forming the shape of a man. When it was all assembled, Candy snapped her fingers, and the confetti blew into her hat, and standing underneath it as it blew away, was Ian. Candy made him join her in taking a bow as Robin called out to everyone.
“Alright everyone, let’s go inside for presents and cake, but before we do, everyone say thank you to Candy!”
“Thank you,” all the children called out before making their way inside. Robin embraced her and thanked her for all that she’d done. Chloe went up to her and gave her one final hug.
“Thank you Ms. Candy!”
“Aw, you’re very welcome sweetie,” she said hugging her tightly, “Happy birthday.”
Chloe ran inside to join everyone to open her presents, but Ian stuck around.
“Excuse me, Candy?”
“Hm, what’s up?”
“How...how did you-” Candy held a finger up to his lips.
“A lady never reveals her secrets.” She held her finger her up to her own lips with a wink and a smile.
“Well, thank you very much for today. You really helped make my daughter’s birthday very special.” Candy giggled.
“Thank you! See, we’re not all scary.” Ian was a little embarrassed.
“How could you tell?”
“Call it a clown’s intuition. Hey, how about I make a balloon for you before I go?”
“Well...how about a sword?”
“Coming right up!” Candy soon inflated a bright green balloon and twisted it into the shape of a saber, which Ian took from her. Candy smiled at him, and turned to leave. Ian swung the balloon saber around a few times, and then called out to Candy.
“Hey, this won’t cut anything, will it?” Candy turned around.
“Of course not silly. It’s a balloon.” Candy made her exit, as Ian waved goodbye. As he was heading back inside, stopped at the buffet table. He hit the balloon on the table, and it connected with a light, hollow thunk. He took a deep breath and smiled, as he went inside to join the others in opening his daughter’s presents. Robin saw her husband holding the balloon saber as he entered the dining room, and she smiled at the sight. He shrugged and mouthed over the excited children: You were right. Robin mouthed back to him: I love you. Ian made his way over to Chloe as she got ready to open her first present, cuddling next to wife, both of whom were so happy that their daughter was able to have such a joyous birthday.
Last edited by hetcomc on Mon Jul 29, 2019 9:58 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Been posting for a bit
Posts: 34
Joined: Mon Jan 29, 2018 3:08 pm

Re: Two Recent Stories

Postby rugli » Sat May 04, 2019 11:12 pm

I must say I like the second story very much wouldn't mind seeming more written about it. :) :gulp:
Posts: 268
Joined: Mon Dec 24, 2012 1:39 am

Re: Two Recent Stories

Postby hetcomc » Sat May 04, 2019 11:34 pm

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.
Been posting for a bit
Posts: 34
Joined: Mon Jan 29, 2018 3:08 pm

Re: Recent Stories

Postby hetcomc » Fri May 17, 2019 9:25 pm

Here's my newest story.

​Nakia followed Shuri deep into the Wakandan labs. She’d only been here a few times before, and that could only mean one thing: new tech, and not just any kind of new one. There were many parts of the lab that were more open, that were always developing something new, improving something that already existed, but the deeper parts are where the more secretive experiments happened. They restricted to all but the most high level of personnel, or those given special clearance. On this day, she had been given that clearance by Shuri, who was eager to show off something that she’d been working on, but she wouldn’t say what. She actually seemed to be a little excited than usual this morning when she came to see her about it that morning, so whatever it was, it must have been big. Shuri hadn’t said a word since they had made their way to the restricted area. Nakia tried to break the silence.
​“I keep forgetting how deep this lab goes.” Shuri didn’t answer, she just kept marching ahead, checking some formulas and stats that Nakia couldn’t even begin to understand on her wrist hologram. She had a rather sinister looking smile as she worked through whatever was being projected. Nakia was impressed she was able to do this and walk so quickly.
​“Shuri, what are you..”
​“Just running some schematics for my next project. I already have a few prototypes under construction, but I’ll need to work out a few kinks before I move on to the initial trials.”
​“That’s not what you brought me here to show me, is it?”
​“No, of course not, what I have in store for you is already working, but after all that’s happened, I feel like we can never be too unprepared for anything ever again. That’s why I’ve got so many projects going at once. We’ll be joined by a few others as well, and they should already be there. I asked my brother if he could lend me some of the Dora Milaje for this trial.”
Nakia was stunned.
“Why would he ever agree to that?”
“It’s funny you should ask. He wouldn’t at first, but once I mentioned that this project was designed to help you, he suddenly changed his mind.”
Nakia felt the color rising in her cheeks upon hearing this and averted her gaze. Shuri slowed down and leered at her.
“Aw, what’s wrong? No need to be so embarrassed,” Shuri said laughing.
“What’s this project, anyway,” said Nakia, changing the subject.
“Something that I think is just right for someone like you. It will prove an invaluable asset to those involved with stealth or rescue missions.”
“Alright, you have my attention now,” Nakia smiled as they entered their destination. Five members of the Dora Milaje were already waiting for them.
“Okoye, what are you doing here,” the gorgeous soldier ran up and embraced her friend.
“If it means helping you, my king, and my country, there was no way I was going to say no,” Okoye watched as Shuri was occupied with something else, and whispered in Nakia’s ear, “Besides, I just want to see if this actually works,” She noticed Nakia looked confused, and smiled as she knew what they were all in store for, “I hope you didn’t eat breakfast.”
“Why would you…”
“Alright,” Shuri spoke up as she came over carrying a large wrist bracer, “Nakia, put this on.”
She did, attaching the metallic bracer to her right arm. It was black, cold, and lightweight.
“Now, Nakia, many of your missions involve either stealth or personnel transport. One of the problems you regularly face is either hiding an unconscious body, or sneaking multiple people out unnoticed. This bracer you are wearing is just the thing to help you accomplish both. Without getting too complicated, the signals sent by this alter the chemistry of your brain to allow your muscles, ligaments, and organs to simultaneously relax and become stronger to allow you transport and hide bodies internally.”
“Meaning you eat them and hide them in your stomach. Your muscles will be strong enough so that you’ll still be able to move around, and your stomach also won’t digest them. I’ve tested it before with inanimate objects, but today, we’re ready for the real thing.”
“Real thing,” Nakia looked over at Okoye, who smiled and shrugged, “No! I can’t…”
“Yes, you can, they’re going to be fine. They’re all approximately the right age and body type for those you’d be ingesting most often. Besides, you’re all willing to help your princess, right?”
The Dora Milaje all bowed their heads and gave the Wakandan salute. Nakia, however was still very nervous about all of this. Shuri could see this, and put her hands on her shoulders, hoping to comfort her.
“Listen Nakia, you’d never have to roam around at night, no more caravans, no more patrols to avoid. With this and the new stealth suit I’m working on for you, you simply fly one our ships to the designated area, run in, gulp everyone up, and run out before they even know they’re missing. When you get back to the ship, simply let out. The bracer will assist with all of this.”
Nakia’s expression softened.
“Alright, how do I work this thing?”
“Put your hand on the top of the bracer near your wrist, then slide it up and squeeze.”
Nakia did as instructed, and a purple light emanated from the bracer. Suddenly, she felt a surge of energy rush through her body. She felt like she was suddenly strong enough to lift one of the war rhinos with just one arm. Breathing heavily, taking the time to adjust her body to this new sensation, she kept as still as possible, not wanting to exert too much energy too quickly. She glanced over at the waiting soldiers, eager to serve their country, and suddenly looking very delicious, with their tight, lithe bodies and warm, soft skin.
“Alright, whenever you’re ready just…”
Before Shuri could even finish her sentence, Nakia had gulped down one of the waiting women. It happened so fast that it caught everyone off guard, even Nakia. Everyone stood in silence, staring at Nakia, who was rubbing her new large belly with curiosity and wonder. She had just swallowed a person whole, but she didn’t even feel her body weight change, or even the slightest bit full. Okoye came over and put her head next to her belly. She didn’t hear any gurgles or sounds of digestion, no screams or gasping for air. It was actually really amazing. She stood up and looked at her friend with concern.
“Are...you feeling alright?”
“Yes, I feel fine. No different than I did before I ate her. I don’t even feel her inside me. It’s really strange.”
“Well, you want to continue?”
Nakia smiled as she grabbed Okoye and proceeded to swallow her up with the same fervor as before, while Shuri watched with a devilish smile. No one noticed she was affixing a bracer to her own arm. One by one, Nakia gulped down the remaining Dora Milaje, and it was a sensation unlike anything she had ever felt. It was as though she had been swallowing whole people her whole life, because she never felt her body strain or stretch once throughout all of it. As her belly grew larger and larger, she never once felt like she was full, or even eating anything. She was taking up so much space, all of five of them curled up inside of her, but she didn’t feel even the slightest bit heavier. Her back, legs, belly, not a single one of them felt like they were straining to hold up all the extra weight that she had put away. Her belly wasn’t making any noises whatsoever. No gurgles, no rumbles, no groans. On the inside, Okoye was packed tight with her comrades, but the stomach wasn’t contracting or trying to digest them. It was hot, and a little slimy on the walls, but there were no stomach acids to be seen or felt anywhere. Nakia was so amazed by her engorged gut, she didn’t notice Shuri coming towards her from behind.
“I got to say Shuri, this is so strange, but I’m really impressed. So, how do I-”
Shuri’s mouth had lifted the massive woman above her head, her round butt sitting in her mouth. Her bracer glowed brightly as she gulped Nakia down ass first. Her mouth and throat expanded to a horrifying degree to allow for her meal’s enormous belly to fit inside. As she was gulping her down, neither woman felt any pain, though Nakia was a little bit shocked. Not long after she started, Shuri had managed to swallow her up, and stood there in awe of her gargantuan gut, which was stretching very far out in front of her, and was very appealingly round and full.
“Sorry to have to eat you as well, but I had to test and see if the bracer could accommodate the body for such a large meal, just in case you were full and needed extraction of your own,” said Shuri, proudly rubbing her belly.
“It’s fine, I just wish you had told be first,” Nakia’s spoke up from within Shuri’s big gut.
“Would you have let me go through with this if you knew I was going to eat you too? Now, how are you feeling it there? No stomach acids or discomfort?”
“No stomach acids, but I am a little cramped, if only because my own stomach is taking up a lot of space.”
“Well not to worry, I’ll have you out in…” Shuri was reaching for her bracer when it violently sparked, it’s purple glow fading in and out before disappearing completely, “Oh no.”
“Shuri, what’s wrong?”
“Oh, great Bast no.”
“What’s wrong,” the worry quickly rose in Nakia’s voice as Shuri frantically tried to reactivate the bracer to no avail.
“My bracer, it’s malfunctioned!”
“Shuri? Shuri!”
The walls of Shuri’s stomach were growing slimier and wetter with each passing second as it started to fill up with acid. Nakia began to flail and kick as best she could, but all that did was make Shuri burp due the movement inside her. Her belly began to growl and groan loudly as it began to realize just how full it really was, and it angrily got to work on beginning the process of digesting its enormous meal. Shuri slowly but surely felt the weight of the six women in her belly come over her body, as she eventually collapsed on the floor with a heavy, loud, thud. Her petite frame was no match for her being this overstuffed without the bracer. Shuri continued to belch and groan with pain and discomfort while she lay on the floor. She was completely immobile, she was too tired to even lift her arms. She barely had enough energy to think before her mind went blank due the food coma that was coming on. She was going to digest them all, and they were going to end up as fat somewhere on her body. On the bright side, she’d wake up and probably have a lot of extra curves. She’d always wanted to be thicker. Shuri lay there on the hard floor of the lab and passed out, as her body continued to digest its many occupants.

Shuri let out a gurgly, quiet burp as she opened her eyes. She felt like she’d been asleep for weeks. Even lying down, her body felt so much heavier than it did before. Had she even digested them yet? She still felt so full. Her eyes were bleary, and she tried to sit up. She could feel her belly rub against the floor as she did, and it was still very big, but nowhere near as big as before. She nearly fell over when she got to her feet. Eventually, she gained some sense of balance, moaning in a mix of pain and sleepiness.
“Oooooh, URP!, they definitely gave me indigestion,” she said as her eyesight slowly returned to her. I was then that she looked down and saw her body. The cute, small breasts she had were no longer; they were enormous and very heavy, as she was barely able to lift them. Her clothes had mostly been destroyed after her little mishap, and she was pretty much naked at this point. She struggled to remove what little scraps she could, but she barely had the strength to stand up, let alone remove any clothing. Looking past her breasts, difficult as that was, she could she her belly was still very large, though considerably smaller than before. Waddling over to where she could clearly see her reflection, she was both shocked and pleased by what she saw. Her butt and thighs were now massive and covered in a thick layer of fat. She gave her butt as hard of smack as she could, and watched it jiggle as much as her strength would allow it. She gave her belly a smack as well, and it responded by letting out a loud gurgle.
“BUUUUOOOORRRRP! Oh, sorry,” she said rubbing her belly, “I guess you’re not done digesting yet.” Shuri turned to look at herself from the side. Her heavy belly hung down to about the midpoint of her thighs and it stuck out pretty far, but it was rounder and softer than before. Poking it, it was still very hard and full, but the most of the meal had already been redistributed to her new curves. Caressing her body, she loved how her thick new form felt. She was just about to really enjoy herself when her communication bracelet went off. It was her brother, thankfully only calling via voice only mode.
“Shuri, how are things back home.”
“Oh, uh, they’re fine.”
“Really, because I just spoke to mother, and she said that no one has been able to reach you for several days.” Several days. So that’s how long it’s been.
“Um, well…”
“Shuri. The experiment. What happened?”
“Well, it went fine. At least, until, um…”
Shuri looked at her body, unable to finish the sentence, beginning to sweat nervously.
“Oh, Bast, what did I do to deserve this. Shuri, we will talk about this when I return. In the meantime, as your king, I forbid you to stay in the labs another second. You shall be confined to your room until then as well.”
“What, you’re grounding me?”
“There are much worse things I could do, Shuri.”
Shuri remained silent because she knew he was right.
“We’ll talk about this after I return. In the meantime, I’m sending some guards to bring you to your room.”
“Alright, but, can you have bring me something to cover up with?”
“Thank you.”
“Goodbye. We’ll speak later.”
Shuri felt a rush of embarrassment. She wasn’t in a state that any princess should ever be seen in. Her brother would probably not be so easy going knowing that his lover and several of his royal guard were now either body fat or still digesting. Shuri sighed as she looked at her frame again, still feeling very good about how it looked, even if the consequences were great. Her belly gurgled loudly again as she let out another belch, waiting for the arrival of the guards. Hopefully she’d finish digesting before her brother came home.
Been posting for a bit
Posts: 34
Joined: Mon Jan 29, 2018 3:08 pm

Re: Recent Stories/Looking for Feedback

Postby hetcomc » Wed Jun 05, 2019 9:32 am

Here's a new story. I'd love to hear any feedback.

Claire had been trying to settle into her role as Jurassic World Operations Manager for the past few months. Ever since she first started working as an intern for the park when she was a freshman in college, she knew that she had what it took to make sure this park was always running at maximum efficiency. Of all the students in the Bright Minds Internship program, none had performed the level that she did, outshining her superiors on more than one occasion. The parks owner and founder, Simon Masrani, hadn’t failed to notice this, and as a result appointed her as the park’s Senior Assistant Manager at the time of its opening, a role she took in stride. It was thanks to her keen sense of control and strong judgement that the park was able to open with only a few minor setbacks. Her performance had become so impressive, that when the Operations Manager position opened up.
However, she hadn’t been as prepared for it as she thought. During her other posts at the park, she had a lot of responsibilities, but never on this scale, even as the Senior Assistant Manager. Not only was there the matter of looking after the park and everyone in it, including guests, employees, and assets, which was demanding enough on its own. She also had to contend with meetings with corporate sponsors in the to convince them to fund the next big attraction or set up a store or restaurant in the park. Claire had developed a bit of a reputation as something of a fun police ice queen, but she was always able to find enjoyment in her work, even if her somewhat cold nature rubbed her co-workers the wrong way, although that enjoyment was becoming harder to come by. She’d been so busy trying to keep up with her knew schedule, eating and sleeping had fallen somewhat by the wayside, and they had reached its peak on this day.
The tropical air carried a perennial scent of summer, water, island vegetation, and the dinosaurs on its breeze. Claire, clad in her delicate white suit, which allowed plenty of breathability in the hot sun, yawned as she walked out of the control center. The park was closing up for the day, and it been a rather hectic one. A few pachycephalosaurs had managed to escape their enclosure, but thankfully ACU was able to contain them before any real damage or panic was done. The gyrospheres had experienced difficulty with their drive systems, a few other assets were sick, and it was hotter than usual that day, and the park’s medical team was practically working overtime to keep up with guests who were overheating. So much had happened, and Claire was already running on low batteries due to a lack of sleep and food. She had forgone lunch or breakfast that day, and with the guests returning to the mainland or their onsite hotel rooms, she was ready to do the same. She had her own apartment on site just in case, and while she made her way outside, the early evening sunlight bathing the park in a warm orange glow, she spotted her assistant, Zara, scrolling through her phone. The beautiful young woman, with her pale, reflective skin bouncing off the twilight sun, her long raven-black hair was tossing in the breeze. She looked at Claire with her mesmerizing hazel eyes as she turned to face her.
“Ms. Dearing, there you are.”
“Um, hello Zara, what are you doing here? I thought you were finished for the day.”
“Not quite, I was given one more task my Mr. Masrani himself: To make sure you go home, get something to eat, and a good night’s sleep.”
Claire smiled, and gave a half chuckle.
“Zara’s there’s no need for you to…”
“This comes from Mr. Masrani himself. He’s seen how the new position has taken its toll on you over the past few weeks. His exact words were:” Zara did her best impression of Mr. Masrani,” ‘I want you to make sure she gets some rest tonight, and spoon feed her if you have to.’”
There was moments pause before the two couldn’t help but giggle at Zara’s impression, after which Claire sighed.
“Well, if the boss says so, I guess I have to.”
“Good, let’s get you home then,” said Zara smiling, “By the way, did you get a look at the man they brought in to work with velociraptors? I certainly did, I’m worried he may have caught me staring.”
“Not just cute, very ruggedly handsome. Apparently he’s a retired Navy SEAL. Sounds like a man that should be right up your alley. I’ll bet he follows orders well.”
“What, you like control. He’s probably into that sort of thing.”
Claire gave Zara a playful shove, but tripped on her heels in the process. Zara managed to catch her before she fell.
“Are you alright?”
“Yes, I’m fine. I guess I do need that rest,” she said while pressed up against Zara. While she was so close, she breathed in Zara’s scent. It was very pleasing, she smelled as good as she looked, like lotion and fresh laundry. The bit of skin she felt was so smooth, like a porcelain doll. Claire suddenly realized her mouth was watering looking at her, and she could feel her stomach start to twist.
“Are you sure you’re alright?”
“Uh, yes, yes, let’s go,” Claire said quickly straightening herself up. Why did she suddenly feel so hungry being so close to Zara?

By the time they arrived, Claire was exhausted. The heels that she had been wearing certainly weren’t doing her any favors, and by the time she made her way inside, she collapsed on her bed, letting out an exhausted sigh. Zara knelt down at her feet and began to remove her shoes. Her feet were small, but she could feel how strong they were. Looking at her boss, splayed out on the bed in such a vulnerable state, it gave her a new perspective on how pretty she was. Her short, bright red hair was splayed out behind her head, creating a halo around her lovely face. She looked so cute like this. She licked her lips and bit her lower one, contemplating on whether or not she should take advantage of the situation, when Claire sat up and looked at her.
“Would you mind giving me a foot massage,” she said in soft but commanding way.
Zara’s mouth hung open as Claire rubbed her leg and foot against her. She felt very aroused by this, and it instantly became clear: she wouldn’t the one taking advantage, Claire would. Almost instantly Zara submitted to Claire’s desires as if they were her own. Claire was going to take this opportunity to use her for her pleasure, and she was going to comply with it. She removed Claire’s other shoes, and immediately set to work pleasuring her. Claire removed her white top exposing her pink tank top underneath, and lay back as Zara catered to her needs. Zara kissed her plump heels, massaging and licking them clean, giving into her submissive role. She moved her the arch and the midfoot with great vigor, indulging in the curves of her feet, moving the taut muscles, working however hard, fast, slow, or gentle Claire commanded her to. Claire shoved her toes into her mouth, which she proceeded to suck and lick as best as she could. Claire thought she was being too delicate with her, so she pushed them deeper into her mouth, causing her to violently gag.
“Are they in there too far?”
Zara shook her head. Claire pushed harder and she gagged again.
“Are you sure, little one?”
Zara nodded, and she removed her foot.
“Continue worshiping my feet. They’re still very sore,” She sat up and kissed Zara, getting a taste of her mouth and skin before laying back down. The taste was scrumptious, and it paired well with the scent she got off of her earlier. Zara worked hard to loosen every muscle of her foot, worshiping every square inch with massages and kisses. After several more minutes, Claire sat up again and pulled on Zara’s luscious hair, yanking so hard she let out a cry with a mix of pain and ecstasy. Panting and eager, she waited for more instructions.
“Be a dear Zara, and eat me out.”
Hearing Claire speak like this is something she never thought she’d experience, as she let go of her hair, She was always commanding and controlling, but she never knew if that would carry over to how she behaved in the bedroom. Claire once again reclined, while Zara lifted up her skirt, exposing the pink panties she was wearing underneath, that matched the color of her tank top. Her pussy was clean shaven, and she wasted no time digging in, slurping, kissing, sucking, and nibbling all around her pubic area. Claire was very pleased by her performance, but wanted to punish her plaything just a little bit. Crossing her legs and squeezing Zara’s head between her legs, she worked like a boa constrictor. With every breath and slurp, Zara became increasingly deprived of air, her head going blank with pleasure from the experience. Eventually, it became very hard to breath, and Claire released her. Grabbing Zara by the hair once again, she licked her lips as she pulled her towards her. Saliva was pouring from her mouth.
“Now, I believe you had orders to give me something to eat. Am I right?”
Zara sheepishly nodded.
“I think you’ll do just fine,” said Claire before she opened her mouth wide.
Zara’s world went dark as Claire proceeded to swallow her, gulping her down slowly, taking her time to savor her divine flavor. Claire felt her body expand and relax to allow her meal to enter her awaiting belly with each consecutive gulp. She was soon up to Zara’s ass, which was easily her thickest part. She took her time, going carefully to get this large piece of meat into her tummy. It was thick and strong, Zara had definitely been doing her squats. Finally getting her scrumptious ass into her gullet, all that was left was to slurp her legs down. As she was swallowing her legs, she removed Zara’s shoes, letting her bare feet caress her tongue before giving one final gulp, and Zara was completely inside of her. Her belly was enormous, sticking out to just past her knees even when she leaned back. It was full from top to bottom with her lovely meal, and her tummy wasted no time in gurgling and rumbling to prepare for digesting Zara.
“BEEEEELLLLCH! Oh, goodness, excuse me. BUUUURRRRRP! Oh my, Zara, you were delicious. Now, I think it’s time I get that good night’s sleep you wanted.
Claire spent a few minute rubbing and cuddling with her full belly before drifting off. Zara, meanwhile, felt completely at peace. Lying in the gurgling, slimy confines of Claire’s belly, she felt the stomach acid sting her bare skin as her clothes began to dissolve. The contracting of stomach walls gently rocked her body as Claire fell asleep. She was glad that she was able to be of use, pleasure, and nourishment for such a beautiful, strong woman. There, in the darkness of the stomach, she closed her eyes as sleep came for her, and Claire’s body began to work harder on digesting her own.

Claire woke up the next morning feeling refreshed and satisfied. Stretching bed, she looked down at her body and saw that her large belly was gone, and in its place were a pair of somewhat fuller looking breasts. Her belly was small enough now that her shirt could cover, and which she lifted to reveal it hadn’t really changed all that much in size. Claire was a puzzled to say the least. Was a slight breast enlargement all Zara did for her?
“I’ve got to say, this isn’t much, but I guess it’s alright. I’ll just have to buy some new bras,” she said jiggling and squeezing her new and improved breasts.
Standing up and stripping down for a shower, she realized where Zara had gone to. She had great difficulty removing her bottoms, and when she had fully undressed, she ran to the bathroom to see the results. Her eyes lit up when she saw her ass. It was massive, round, and very thick. She’d shake it and it would be a significant delay after it stopped. She gave it a hard smack, blushing and biting her lower lip upon seeing how it jiggled in response. She couldn’t take her hands off of it, continuing to spank, clap, and jiggle her ass, feeling more and more proud of it with each passing second.
“Zara, you definitely went to the right place. That new raptor trainer won’t be able to take his eyes off me. I hope he’s as handsome as you said he was.”
Claire hopped in the shower, finding it increasingly difficult to keep her hands off of her ass. Spreading her cheeks and arching her back to feel inside of her, she pleasured herself anally, using whatever means she could to stimulate herself: her hands, the hot water, and the bath lily. It didn’t take long for her to reach orgasm, as she wasn’t used to this kind of stimulation. It was such a new and exciting experience for her. She finished her shower, made sure to pick an outfit that would show off her new assets, and began the trek to the raptor breeding center. It was time to meet this new trainer, and hopefully have some fun with him as well.
Been posting for a bit
Posts: 34
Joined: Mon Jan 29, 2018 3:08 pm

Re: Recent Stories/Looking for Feedback

Postby hetcomc » Fri Jun 07, 2019 10:33 am

​Sakaar. A world of endless junk and violence, caught in its own little pocket of space and time. Where everyday its inhabitants fought for survival, whether in The Grandmaster’s Contest of Champions, to avoid the scrappers and hunters, to eat or be eaten. It was a den of debauchery where anyone who gained The Grandmaster’s favor was bestowed with immense riches and pleasures, while the rest blindly followed the bacchanal celebrations day in and day out, hoping to not get caught in the crossfire of someone else’s conflict, and so help you if you start your own. Of the many wormholes that surrounded it, not everything came through by mistake. Some warriors came from across the galaxy to prove themselves or die with glory in the Contest of Champions. Some came to revel in the many pleasures that Sakaar had to offer. Some were running from the law, and this was the only place they could. Some, like the group we’re about to meet, came to hunt. This particular group of hunters, was Zora’s Marauders.
Zora was a former member of the Xandar military, and after the attack of Ronan the Accuser, where she watched how helpless he planet was against the initial attack, losing several friends in the process, she left that life behind, and dedicated herself to a life of adventure, violence, and domination. She didn’t want to feel helpless every again, and dedicated herself to finding the toughest women in the galaxy, and convincing them to fight by her side, or killing them if they refused. She’d since amassed a crew of six of the deadliest, most beautiful women she could find, and they set out to make a name for themselves. The space pirate life was certainly lucrative, but she craved something more. That’s when she heard the rumors. She had heard rumblings of the last of the Asgardian Valkyries, who had long since believed to have been destroyed, was still alive and hiding on Sakaar. This was it. The chance to prove herself to entire galaxy. They’d subjugate the valkyrie and use her as a living sex toy, and if they lost, and least she’d die for something she believed in.
​“Will she still fly,” Zora called out.
​“Damage is minimal,” the pilot responded, “She’ll fly once we’re done here.”
​“Sounds good. We shouldn’t be too long. My intel says the valkyrie spends most of her days at the bottom of a bottle. We’ll see if she’s sober enough to fight. If not, we’ll beat her anyway, and then celebrate. I hear The Grandmaster’s orgies have to be experienced to be believed. Sound good ladies!”
​There was a chorus of cheers from the crew as they prepared to disembark.
The seven women, clad in a mix of hot pink, bright yellow clothes with splashes of black, which strategically showed the right amount of skin, stood out like fireworks amongst the sea of junk, but soon other warm bodies surrounded them. The Marauders were outnumbered, but more than ready for this. Before the leader of their attackers could even get a word out, Zora had shot him dead in the center of his head, and her crew wasted no time in drawing their swords and striking their opponents down. Before his body even hit the ground, they’d managed to kill all of them. Zora holstered her blaster, snapped her fingers, and her crew fell back in line, and they continued towards the city. Once inside, she turned to her crew.
“You know the drill ladies. Split up, find out what you can, call in if you get anything. Remember, she’s still a valkyrie, don’t try to take her down by yourself. Understood.”
“Yes ma’am,” they called in unison as they went their separate ways to find their prey.
Two of them made their way to the hub of The Contest of Champions, where onlookers could get a drink and watch the champions get ready for their next battle. After few minutes of questioning with nothing to show for it, the two met up again.
“Find out anything?”
“No, what about you?”
“Well, maybe we’re asking the wrong people,” she said, making her way to the electrified gate that separated the champions from everyone else, “Hey you! Yeah you, the pile of rocks!”
The kronan she called to turned upon hearing this, and made his way over to them.
“Hey man. How’s it going? My name is Korg, and as you pointed out, yes I am a technically a pile of rocks, although when you say it does sound a little bit mean.”
“How long have you been here?”
“Well, if you mean here talking to you, a few seconds, and if you mean here on Sakaar, I am not really sure. I’ve been here since my attempted revolution, but as you may or may not know, well, I’m assuming you don’t know since you’re asking, time passes differently here, so I can’t say for certain. Anyway, what brings you here? If you are interested, I am keen on starting another revolution, so if you had access pamphlet printing material, I would be grateful for the assistance.”
“We’re looking for the last of the valkyries,” she asked, beginning to lose patience, “Do you know where she is?”
“Sorry man, can’t say I know anyone who goes by that. Can you be more specific?”
“She’s asgardian, does that help,” the other one spoke up.
“Oh yeah, Scrapper 142,” Korg replied, nodding, “If you want to find her, your best bet is to look at one of the many bars around here. She doesn’t stick around for the contest much.”
The two women smiled at each other and turned to leave. One called in to Zora that they had the information they were looking for, but the other one was noticing the veritable menagerie of cute girls that she’d love to have her fill of during the orgy.
“Sasha, hurry up!”
“Yeah, yeah, don’t rush me.”
Korg watched the two of them leave, letting out a heavy sigh as they made their way outside. An insectoid wearing a bladed suit of armor approached him, making a series of clicks and hisses.
“Oh, hey Miek. You get your knives sharpened? Yeah, they look good.”
Miek chirped in response.
“Just some pirates looking to fight Scrapper 142. I would say that I would miss them, but I would not be telling truth.”

Elsewhere, in one of the many bars and watering holes to be found amidst the scrap heap, Brunnhilde, former member of the Valkyries currently known as Scrapper 142, was celebrating her newest big payday the best way she knew how: with a large bottle of booze. Her enormous wooden mug was filled with a particularly strong drink, but she couldn’t remember what it was called. She knew it was strong, it was tasty, and it was doing its job, which was getting her drunk. Refill after refill, she sipped, slurped, guzzled, chugged, and belched, savoring the taste of the ice cold, yet oddly tangy and fruity liquid into her ravenous gullet. Being Asgardian, her belly could hold abhorrent amounts of liquid, but she had been at this for most of the morning, and small bloated potbelly was beginning to form. She was just about to start a freshly poured mug, but she was interrupted from her booze soaked bliss by the crash of the doors opening up, and a voice calling her by a title she was trying to forget.
“Valkyrie, show yourself!”
She slowly turned around and saw the Marauders, their brightly colored clothes hurting her eyes, as she turned back around to face the bar. It was too late however, as one of them noticed her.
“Boss, there. Just like they said she’d look like.”
Zora laughed at the sight of the once noble warrior slumped over a bar reeking of liquor.
“Well, ladies, I think we may have an easy win on our hands. Ash, Sasha, be a dear and help the lady outside. I’d hate to trash such lovely establishment unnecessarily.
Her two crew members made their way over to her with a pompous stride, knocking over everyone who was standing near them. They each sat on one side of her, putting a hand on her shoulder, and reaching for their swords with the other.
“So,” the blonde one spoke up, “you going to get up, or are we going to make you.”
Brunnhilde brushed her hand against her cheek.
“Oh, your both so cute, I’d hate to damage those pretty faces,” she lazily threatened.
“Let’s not waste anymore time,” the brunette pirate scoffed, “We should just gut the bitch right here!”
She reached to draw her sword, but was cut off by a very loud rumble coming from the valkyrie’s tummy. So loud and long it was unnerving. The two pirates looked at each other wide eyed, and before they knew it, the valkyrie had smashed their heads together violently. Holding both of them by the neck, she licked her lips, and opened her mouth wide, and proceeded to swallow both up at the same time. Everyone else in the bar, including Zora and her crew, simply watched helplessly as she gulped the two girls into her hungry gut. From behind, they could see her belly start to expand at the sides, and before they knew it, they were gone. Brunnhilde slowly stood up and turned around to reveal a massive, gurgling belly that contained their two crew mates. Her belly button was popped out, revealing a navel ring that decorated it like a hunter’s trophy. Her tummy was already making a considerable amount of noise, getting to work on digesting its meal. It was pulsing and writhing as the crew could hear muffled grunts coming from inside. She drew her sword and let out a loud belch, stumbling with a tipsy swagger as she reached for her full mug.
“You all have till this is empty to surrender, or join your friends in my gut,” she said before tipping the mug up to her lips.
Zora turned to her crew.
“Alright, we-OGH!”
Before she could even finish her sentence, the empty mug sailed through air, and crashed into the side of her head, sending her to ground in a daze. She moaned in anguish as her head throbbed, barely being able to hear what was going on. All she could make out were grunts, moans, and very loud gulping sounds. For what seemed like hours, she lay there on the floor of the bar, dazed and unable to stand. As she started to regain her senses, a large shadow blocked out the light. She reached up, and horror overtook her she touched the outline of someone’s face beneath a layer of smooth, strong skin. The valkyrie had eaten them. She ate all six of her crew. The shadow moved away, and a strong hand grabbed her shirt, pulling her up on top of the massive mound of belly that stretched out in front of the valkyrie. Before she even had a chance to respond, she looked up and saw her mouth was open wide, and she was pulled into it head first. Her breath reeked of booze, and her mouth was very hot and wet. She felt her face become covered in saliva as she was pushed towards the back of her mouth, where her gullet awaited. She could hear the stomach gurgling up through the hollow chamber of her throat, which was covered in slime and saliva, but very strong, as she felt it pull her down, further and further towards Brunnhilde’s gluttonous belly. She felt the walls of the esophagus compress her body so tightly, she thought she’d pop. She felt her boobs, arms, and later her legs and feet squish against each other on the way down. When she finally arrived in the stomach, her crew were doing there best to cuddle with each other for comfort in as they were being digested, and they wasted no time bringing their captain into their embrace. The stomach walls were covered in slime, and their acids had rubbed off on everyone, and their bodies were already starting to feel softer, as they caressed each other’s slime covered shapes in the darkness of Brunnhilde’s gut. The contraction of the stomach walls brought them closer and closer together in the hot, cramped space.
“BUUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRPPPPPHHH! Oh, that was very filling, but,” she yawned deeply, “I was not ready for that big of meal. Pity I couldn’t have saved a few for later. That blonde and brunette were so tasty, and definitely the cutest. UUUUUURRRRRRRP!”
She made her way outside where her ship was parked. Even though her engorged belly, gurgling and full of seven women, was stretched out very far in front of her, her asgardian strength made movement still easy. The alcohol, however, wasn’t doing her any favors as she waddled towards her ship, nearly tripping several times. She eventually stumbled up the ramp into her spacious living quarters, where two beautiful Kree women, naked except for the leather collars around their necks, rose to greet her.
“Welcome back, mistress,” they said in unison, bowing.
“Right, good to be back, I’ve had a very long day,” Brunnhilde said, plopping down on her bed, “Now, help me digest this meal.”
Without a moment’s hesitation, the two ladies removed her clothes, which due to their enhanced strength was easy despite Brunnhilde’s considerable girth. One fetched a large bottle of oil, the other, a bottle of luscious wine, and they each set about their duties. One held the wine bottle up to Brunnhilde’s lips, and slowly poured it in as she gulped it down. The delicious liquid filled her crowded tummy up even more, as its slimy, digesting occupants were doused in a shower of wine as her tummy let out a series of happy gurgles. The other woman poured the oil over her belly, and proceeded to massage it, helping to break down the food and ease the digestion of such a large meal. When the wine bottle was empty, the one pouring it immediately set it aside and moved to help the other woman, working to massage the rest of her oil covered body. Their own bodies were covered, they used their lithe, muscular forms in tandem to pleasure their mistress, who was moaning in delight with all the attention her body was receiving. Once they had finished with the belly, they moved down to her feet, which they set to work massaging and worshipping. They each took a foot, kissing her round heels, stroking the arches, working the midfoot, and sucking on her cute toes, continuing to work as their mistress pulled her tummy away and began to pleasure herself. She was dripping wet, and worked her way as deep as she could inside herself, feeling the pressure of her full tummy on her fingers. Her girls were rubbing her feet in between their oiled up breasts, and it felt so nice and soft, only adding to the pleasure she was feeling. After a few minutes, the girls left the feet, to move on to the next phase. One retrieved a large dildo and proceeded to use it to great effect, while the other one sat on her mistresses face. These two roles they would swap every now and then, continuing on for several minutes until Brunnhilde had managed to orgasm so intensely, the contraction it created in her stomach muscles caused to her belch very loudly. After her belch finished, she lay there, her eyes crossed and tongue lazily spilled out, saliva dripping off of it. Her two girls suckled her breasts as their reward for pleasing her, as she drifted off to sleep, her engorged tummy rumbling and gurgling away at its meal.

Brunnhilde woke up the next morning, letting out a soft burp as she rose from bed, moving aside her cute playthings that were cuddled up to her. Looking down at her nude body as she stood up, she sighed, but couldn’t help but smile at what she saw. Her breasts had plumped up considerably, and she could still see a large belly sticking out from under them. She looked like she was at least nine months pregnant. Her belly was very round and soft, jiggling when she gave it a playful slap. Her breasts rested on top her belly, and they felt very heavy. She was able to hold one up, and it easily reached her mouth. She enjoyed sucking on it as she played with her new tummy. She felt back around, and her ass felt much fuller than before. Catching a glimpse of it in a mirror, she was surprise to see how fluffy and bouncy it was now. She continued to shake and play with her new body, relishing in the sensation of her new curves.
“It’s going to take a long time to work this off,” she said, reaching for a bottle of booze and taking a large swig, “URP! Although, I can’t say I mind that.”
She finished the bottle, and didn’t stop to continue to play with herself. There in the comfort of her ship, surrounded by everything she needed, Brunnhilde was happy.
Been posting for a bit
Posts: 34
Joined: Mon Jan 29, 2018 3:08 pm

Re: Recent Stories/Looking for Feedback

Postby hetcomc » Sun Jun 09, 2019 8:51 pm

​The atmosphere of the wrap party was even more joyous and celebratory than that of previous seasons, but also more melancholy. Everyone was so ecstatic to share their work with the world, but for this particular production, it would be the last time. The final season of Game of Thrones had finished production, and all of the cast and crew were equally of two minds about it. It had been a long and difficult journey, and it was finally over, but the hurdles that came with production on a scale such as this were all part of the fun. Actors were looking forward to their new projects, yet sad knowing that they wouldn’t be able to play in the land of Westeros with their friends again. The days of swinging swords, riding on dragons, and charging into battle were behind them, and it was time to move on.
​Emilia Clarke looked stunningly beautiful in her all black outfit. A black crop top, baring a generous amount of cleavage, and a tight skirt that buttoned up on the side gave a little tease of her stomach, while accentuating her shapely butt. Her shoulder length brown hair shone brightly, as did her porcelain, clear skin, while her face boar a big smile showing off her lovely, full red lips and green eyes. She was eager to thank everyone for their hard work, reuniting with costars whose characters had sadly not lived to see the conclusion. She was making her way through, the crowd of people, when a familiar voice called her name.
​Emilia turned to see her former partner in crime, Nathalie Emmanuel sprinting towards her. She was breathtakingly gorgeous, with the skin of a goddess that was positively glowing. She was wearing a loose white shirt, and a tight, high waisted black skirt. Her cute mop of curly hair was bouncing along with her every step. Being considerably taller than her, and upon throwing herself at Emilia for an embrace, she was pulled head first in between her fluffy, soft breasts with such force it nearly broke her nose. She was so caught off guard by this, she didn’t return the embrace at first, her petite body flailing against her friends crushing embrace.
​“Mmffh! Nafalie!”
​It took a few moments for her to hear the muffled cries coming from in between her breasts, but eventually she realized and loosened her grip, but still keeping Emilia nuzzled in her cleavage.
​“I’m sorry darling. I couldn’t help myself. It’s been awhile since I saw you last.”
​Emilia gasped to regain the lost oxygen, before regaining composure and returning the embrace, nuzzling against Nathalie.
​“It’s alright. I really missed you,” she said, followed by a long deep breath, “You smell so nice.”
​“Aw, thanks love. You looked so cute I couldn’t help but rush over to you.”
​Emilia managed to break away from her grip and get a good look at her.
​“Wow, you look so beautiful,” she cooed before returning to nuzzling against her, “I really missed you.”
​“I can’t believe it’s really over,” Nathalie said, finally letting her go, “I’m really going to miss going into work and seeing you. I wish I could do that for the rest of my life.”
​“Oh, I know. Me too,” she said clasping her hands.
​Emilia gave a half smile, half pout, as she gazed in Nathalie’s lovely eyes, when she felt a long, low rumble come from her stomach.
​“Hey, are you hungry? I’ve heard they really went all out for the buffet for this one.”
​“Now that you mention it, yeah, I’m absolutely starving!”
​They smiled at each other, and hand in hand made their way over to the large buffet spread, which was loaded up with all manner of cuisine. There were chefs behind the table setting out fresh sushi of all varieties, a sumptuous rainbow of fruit, various forms of chilled seafood, including oysters and crab, and the most eye catching of all, a veritable smorgasbord of desserts, ranging from cakes and trifles, to chocolate covered strawberries and flan. The two friends wasted no time in filling up a plate, and immediately all conversation ceased as they proceeded to devour their food. They each tried to take a good mix of everything, tasting every flavor that the experience had to offer. Aside from occasional giggling and moaning in escstacy from the wonderful taste of the food, over the next half hour, they continued to gulp more and more food into their seemingly insatiable tummies, which only seemed to growl louder and louder the more they ate, demanding to be filled up more.
​After a half hour of stuffing their bellies, they each received a rude awakening on how much they’d actually been stuffing themselves. When they finished yet another plate, they stood up to return to the buffet, when a violent snapping sound came from near Emilia’s waste. Two of the buttons on the side of her skirt had snapped off, and shot clear across the room, nearly hitting one the staff in the face when they flew past him. Emilia looked down at her stomach in awe to realize that she looked nearly seven months pregnant. Her stomach was rock hard and gurgling loudly, and her belly button was stretched very tight. She cradled her tummy, letting out a long, low belch that tasted of all the food she just ate. Nathalie started to laugh at the spectacle of her friend’s bloated tummy popping her buttons, but it was soon cut short by the sound of ripping. Nathalie felt horror grip her as she realized the back of her skirt had ripped open, revealing her bright yellow thong underwear for all to see. She quickly sat down, and lifted up her skirt to reveal that she was sporting an enormous bloated belly of her own. She moaned softly as she rubbed it, feeling ashamed of the state she’d managed to put herself.
​“UURRRRRRRRRRP! Oh, gosh, I’m so stuffed. I can’t believe I ate that much,” she said, massaging her belly in a futile attempt to break down her meal, “I can’t believe I tore my skirt.”
​All the while she was lamenting her fullness, Emilia was beginning to realize she still had room left. Her tummy growled loudly in protest that it wasn’t satisfied yet, and as she couldn’t help but notice how cute Nathalie looked all bloated and stuffed. She ran her fingers up and down her own belly, fingering her taut belly button as she gazed at her, not long after which, her mouth started watering, and she realized what she was hungry for. She took a hard gulp as she started wide eyed at her fiend, moaning in pain while she massaged her full tummy, her salivation being driven out of control. Saliva was pooling up in her mouth, and was starting to leak out the corners or her mouth, opening it up, she took a deep breath as licked her lips and swallowed again. She couldn’t take her eyes off of Nathalie, her warm light brown skin and lovely figure and face were impossible to look away from. She knew what she had to do, but how to do it.
​“Milly? Are you okay?”
​No answer as Nathalie looked into her friend’s gaze.
​“Um...Milly? You’re staring at me?”
​Emilia seemingly snapped to life, as she leaned forward and rubbed her friend’s overstuffed belly, kissing her gently on the lips, getting her first taste, and it was absolutely delightful, so soft and so sweet.
​“Come with me,” said taking her by the hand, leading her away to a secluded spot away from the crowds.
​Nathalie was struggling to cover her butt as she followed her, and was slightly taken aback when Emilia lifted up her shirt and started to kiss her belly.
​“Milly, what are you-,” Emilia hushed her up with a kiss.
​“Ssshh,” she whispered in her ear, “Let’s have some fun.”
​She returned to her belly, showering it with kisses. Nathalie’s hesitation dissipated as she felt a wave of pleasure come over with all the attention she was receiving. Emilia spent the next several minutes worshiping her belly, licking, kissing, and massaging it until Nathalie’s eyes were rolling back in her head with pleasure. Emilia’s touch was so firm, yet loving, and she couldn’t get enough of it. Emilia stood up and kissed her deeply, rubbing her own full belly against her saliva covered belly, and it felt simply divine. Emilia nibbled on her neck as she moaned loudly, which sparked a sexual fervor in Emilia, who flipped her around, and proceeded to devour her ass. The rip in her skirt had created the perfect window to her ass, and it was voluptuous, smooth, and fluffy to the touch. She moved her thong out of the way and dug into her ass, slurping and gulping away at it’s thick, delicious mass. She was eating it with such fervor, Nathalie’s knees were shaking, and she had to brace herself against the wall to keep from falling over. She was beginning to be worried that Emilia was going to disappear up her ass if she pushed any further, but eventually, she subsided, and she nearly collapsed on a nearby chair. Emilia wasted no time in moving on to her next body part of choice: Nathalie’s cute feet. She removed her high heels, and immediately set to work worshipping her feet. Nathalie’s feet were sore from all the walking she’d done that day, so she was extremely grateful for this. She arched her back, and rubbed her overstuffed belly with one hand, and her pussy with the other, biting her lower lip as the sensation of Emilia caressing, massaging, and kissing her feet. Her toes curled as Emilia ran her tongue up and down the arch of her foot, before kissing her heel. She sucked on her toes, running her tongue and fingers in between them. The taste was too much to handle, her moans were making her feel even hungrier, and her belly ached to be stuffed even more. She had to have her now.
​Emilia opened her mouth wide, and swallowed up both Nathalie’s feet. She tasted so amazing, and she wasted no time in continuing to gulp her down, slurping her lovely legs down into her gut. Her juicy ass was next as she worked hard to get it down, but oh so yummy. Her throat expanded and contracted to pull her meal deeper and deeper until it reached her gut. She tasted so good that she couldn’t stop. Nathalie was so overcome by pleasure, she didn’t even realize what was going on, until she had been all but completely swallowed up, with only her upper torso left to gulp down.
​“Milly, what are you-GUULPH,” her words were cut off as Emilia gave one final giant gulp, which sent the rest of her into Emilia’s tummy. It was so hot and slimy inside, and her own overstuffed belly made it even more cramped. She was immersed in a slimy sludge of all the food that Emilia had previously eaten, and the acids that were already breaking that food down were stinging her body. The walls of the stomach squished her body into a ball, as it set to work on digesting it’s newest meal. She was being tossed and turned by the stomach walls, covering her in more and more digesting food, which she knew that soon she was going to be as well. She felt Emilia slap her belly as she let out a loud burp. She started to kick and squirm in a futile attempt to escape.
​“BUUUURRRRPH! Oh my gosh. BEEEEEELLLLLLCH! Ugh, fuck, that was amazing! UUUUUUUOOOOOAAAAAARRRP! Nathalie, you tasted absolutely divine,” she said cuddling her engorged belly, “Oh, you made me so big. It feels so amazing, having you squirm around in my tummy. URP! Oh, gosh, don’t struggle too much, you’ll give me indigestion.
​She let out a long yawn, followed by another belch.
​“Well, love, what do you say we go home and get some sleep. I’ve got a lot of digesting to do.”
​Emilia managed to stand up, and made her way home, all the way rubbing her enormous, gurgling gut while Nathalie sat curled up inside with it’s slimy, sloshy contents, feeling the stomach walls and acids rock her to sleep as her body grew softer and softer.
​The sunlight shown harshly into Emilia’s bedroom early that morning. She yawned and stretched, blinking as she sat up in bed. She’d slept in the nude last night, falling asleep almost immediately as she hit the bed, as eating Nathalie had taken quite a toll on her. She plopped back down on the bed, and immediately noticed that something was different. She scooted her head against the backboard, and felt that her feet were much farther down the bed. She stood up and it was clear, she had gained several inches in height. She could tell by the way her eyes weren’t at the level they normally were. She smiled, feeling very empowered. She looked down at her body to see what other changes were made as a result of her large meal, and she was blown away by what she saw. Her modestly sized breasts were now modestly sized no longer, now they were engorged, full breasts that she could barely cup in her hands. They had to be double-d cups at the very least. Heading to the bathroom to check herself out in the mirror, her face lit up when she saw her reflection.
​“Nathalie, you’re the best friend ever,” she squealed, giggling, her new curves bouncing with her giddiness, “Not only did you make me taller, but, oh, these curves are amazing! Nice and thick,” she said slapping her new, plumped up ass.
​Her ass was jiggly and juicy, and she’d keep playing with it if it weren’t for all the other new curves. Her belly looked like it did after she had finished stuffing herself with all the buffet food, but instead of being hard, it was soft and squishy, and felt very sensitive to the touch. Her thighs had thickened up considerably, adding much needed support to her new ass. Emilia hopped in the shower, letting the hot water caress her new body as she washed herself. She was overjoyed at her new look, and she was beginning to get hungry for breakfast.
​“I really can’t thank you enough, Nathalie. Not only were you delicious, but you went to all the right places. Mmmmm,” she ran her hands over her round potbelly, “I could definitely go for another meal like that again. Hmmm...I wonder what Lena is doing today?”
Been posting for a bit
Posts: 34
Joined: Mon Jan 29, 2018 3:08 pm

Re: Recent Stories/Looking for Feedback

Postby hetcomc » Wed Jul 17, 2019 11:05 am

Here's my newest story. Any feedback would be appreciated.

“You want to...what,” Terrance said, struggling to fight back the confusion in his voice, his face looking exceedingly puzzled in the soft glow of the candlelight.
It was his girlfriend Elle’s birthday, and he had been planning a romantic dinner for two for the past several months. He had learned how to cook oven fried chicken, her favorite food, from her mother’s own recipe, working as hard as he could to get it just right. He had bought all of the ingredients for the main course and sides a few days ago without her knowledge, and he had taken off work that day to make sure everything was perfect: cooking the food, cleaning their apartment. All the ingredients were in place for a romantic candlelight dinner, and certainly started out that way. When Elle got home, she was overwhelmed with joy upon seeing her gorgeous boyfriend illuminated in the soft glow of the candles. His handsome face smiling, standing tall while wearing the red and black shirt that she always liked how it looked on him. He was holding a bouquet of orange tulips, her favorite flower, and she could smell the chicken coming from the kitchen, which smelled just like how her mother made it. She practically leapt into his arms, giving him a long, loving kiss. He lead her into the kitchen, placing some of the tulips in a vase on the table, and they sat down to eat, enjoying each other’s company and the delicious food. Barely a word was spoken until Terrance brought out dessert. Elle was curious if he’d be willing to try something new in the bedroom for her birthday, something she’d been meaning to tell him about for a long time. She seemed really nervous about it, and he could tell that she was worried and struggling to find words to say what she wanted. He calmingly took her hand, she took a deep breath, and she told him what she had kept pent inside for so long. It was a role play request, unlike any he could have ever imagined.
“I said I want to be eaten.”
“Eaten...by me?”
“No, by another girl. I’ve had this fantasy for so long. Ever since I can remember I’ve loved the idea of being inside of another girls belly while my lover laments me getting gobbled up.”
“I’m sorry, I’m not really sure what it is you’re asking me to do,” Terrance was visibly becoming more and more puzzled.
“Never mind,” Elle said looking away and standing up, rushing off to the bedroom, “I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
She sounded very upset, so Terrance stood up and followed her into the bedroom, and sat beside her.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” he said, putting his arm around her with one arm and holding her hand with the other, “Why not start at the beginning? What did you say this was called?”
She didn’t answer.
“Come on, honey. I really want to do this for you it will make you happy. I just want a better idea of what it is you want me to do.”
She looked at him, her eyes glistening as she squeezed his hand tightly.
“You promise you won’t freak out?”
“I promise.”
She took a deep breath and looked him directly in the eyes, and she could see that he was telling the truth. She faintly smiled as she spoke up again.
“I have a fetish called vore. I’ve been fascinated by eating and being eaten ever since I was a kid. Watching cartoons or movies where girls would get gobbled up by monsters or animals, it always made me feel funny, and when I got older, I found out why. I love the idea of being in the belly of another woman. I love the idea of surrendering to someone so much that they swallow you whole, and you are committed to digesting inside of them, becoming fat on their body for your lover to worship and admire, all the while lamenting that you’ve submitted yourself to someone else.”
There was a long silence as Terrance processed everything that he had just heard. Elle fidgeted while she waited for him to respond. He finally spoke up after what seemed like several minutes.
“Okay,” he said, trying his best to sound reassuring and calm, “What can I do to make this fantasy come true?”
Elle smiled.
“I want you to find someone who would be willing to ‘eat’ me, and then you worship her body as I’m being ‘digested.’ Please, can you do this for me?”
“Of course,” he said without hesitation.
Elle hugged him tightly.
“Oh, babe, your the best! Thank you so much!”
Terrance returned her embrace and kissed her on the top of her head, sitting there and trying to figure out what exactly he’d gotten himself into.

Terrance sat at his desk at work, unable to concentrate on anything. His mind kept wandering back to his girlfriend’s request. He wasn’t sure how he was going to accomplish that. In the few days since she’d told him about this, he had since looked up the kind of things that would be involved in this kind of role play. He hadn’t found much that would be of any use, especially in the way of finding someone to take part in such a thing.
As the day went on, he thought more and more about how he was going to keep his promise. He couldn’t just hit up a local club and start asking around if anyone would be willing to “eat” his girlfriend, though not in the way anyone would first think. Then, it him. There’s bound to be some sort of escort service or something like that would let him hire a girl for something like this. It might be a little expensive, but it’d be a lot easier than any of the alternatives. That night, while Elle was sleeping, he scoured the web looking or any kind of service that could be offered, sending out messages to any and all that he could in hopes of hearing back from them. A few days passed, and there was no response from any of them, but he didn’t give up. The days continued to pass until he got a response, but not the kind that he was expecting. A woman who worked as a freelance escort had seen one of his many queries, and decided to help him out.
“Hey, I saw your posting regarding the vore fantasy. You must be pretty desperate, I’m seeing it all over the place.”
“I’m trying to fulfill my girlfriend’s fantasy. I’d say that I’m more determined than desperate. Would you be willing to help me out?”
“I hope so. I don’t do that sort of thing myself, but a friend of mine in the same line of work does, and she’s a little harder to get hold of. Her name’s Anika, and she’s really, really good at what she does. Vore is something of a specialty of hers. I let her know about, and she’s interested, so just contact her whenever you’re ready.”
“Thank you so much! I really appreciate this.”
“You’re welcome. I hope it goes well for you.”

Terrance didn’t waste any time in contacting her, and was delighted by her swift response. She had sent over a few pictures of herself as well. She was Indian, with light brown skin and a slightly round face. Her eyes were dark brown, and she looked back at him from the photos with a deep, seductive gaze. She had an athletic build that was very well toned, her breasts looked like they were B cups, and her ass looked nice and tight. She was exotic and stunningly beautiful, to say the least.
“My friend told me about you. Like what you see,” she wrote to him.
“I feel a little embarrassed saying this, but yes. You’re beautiful!”
“Aw, thank you! She said you wanted me to eat your girlfriend, is that right?”
“Yes. I’m still not quite sure about this vore thing, but if it will make her happy, then yes, that’s what I want.”
“Oh, so she’s willing prey! This’ll be fun! I’d be more than happy to help you fulfill her fantasy. Before I send you an invoice, tell me what she wants, and then I’ll tell you some ground rules.”
“Okay. She wants for you to eat her, and then worship your belly while she’s, digesting, so to speak.”
“I see, digestion makes things easier on my end. After I’ve eaten her, do you want me to me more dominant or submissive?”
“Ha, I thought so. She’s usually more dominant in bed, right?”
“Yeah, how could you tell?”
“Years of experience. Anyway, I’ll send you an invoice, and once I’ve received payment confirmation, we can agree on a date.”
“Okay, sounds great! Thank you so much for this.”
“Of course. I look forward to my meal.”
Terrance smiled nervously as he stared at their chat. This was all just roleplay, but for some reason he couldn’t shake this nagging feeling. She reacted so casually to the idea of eating and digesting someone. How many times has she done this? Has she ever gotten too carried away, he thought, as his mind wandered to stories of cannibals, killing people and cooking their flesh. Shaking his head, he tried to put those thoughts out of his mind, figuring he was worrying too much. He could easily overpower he if she tried anything too violent, and there’s probably a safe word or something, just like he used in bed with Elle. It’ll be fine, he thought, it’ll be fine.

The day of Anika’s arrival was upon them. He hadn’t told her what was going to happen, it was going to be a surprise. He had made sure to dress comfortably for the event, wearing a black pair of gym shorts and a red t-shirt. Elle didn’t know Anika was coming. Anika seemed very nice in her correspondence, so he wasn’t sure what kind of person she’d be when they met face to face. Elle was at work, and he was waiting anxiously for Anika to show up. The hours passed at an agonizingly slow pace. No matter what, he couldn’t help but feel so nervous about what was coming. He paced endlessly around their apartment, struggling to keep his thoughts straight. Never before had Elle ever given a hint of wanting to do anything with another girl, and even if she did, this certainly isn’t what he pictured.
Terrance went to the bathroom to splash some water on his face and cool off. In the midst of rinsing his face when he barely heard the doorbell ring. He hurriedly dried off and rushed to the door. He was struggling to keep his breath from getting too rapid, all the while his heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest. He opened the door, and there she stood. Anika was wearing light blue leggings and a pink tank top, the bright colors catching him a little off guard. She was about the same height as him, about 5’10.” He gulped hard all the while drinking her beauty in.
“Terrance,” she spoke up.
“Oh, uh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to stare,” he said, feeling the color rising in his cheeks, “Please come in,” he stepped aside to let her in.
“Thank you.”
“Oh here, I can take things,” he said, taking her purse, as well as a small tote bag she was carrying, “I’ll put them in the bathroom, make yourself comfortable.”
“Okay, thank you,” she walked into the living room, taking in the surroundings, “I like your apartment.”
“Thanks,” he called from the bathroom, re-emerging a moment later, “We’ve lived here for 2 years, so it’s been through some redecoration.”
He once again found it nearly impossible to take his eyes off of her as she was draped seductively over his couch.
“Do you like my outfit?”
“What? Uh, yes, yes I do.”
“Thanks. You didn’t make any outfit requests, so I thought you wouldn’t mind this one. My clients rarely do. I do like wearing brighter colors when I work. It makes me feel so much more energetic. I need all the energy I can get after a big meal.”
“Yeah, I guess that makes sense,” he said, not thinking much of it, still trying his best not to leer at her.
“Hey, don’t be shy, come sit by me.”
Anika scooted over and patted the cushion next to her. Terrance sheepishly got up and sat next to her. Even though they were about the same height, he felt dwarfed by her. Anika exuded a powerful, sexual presence that was almost suffocatingly attractive for him. She cuddled up next to him and placed her arm around him squeezing him in, and her stomach growled. He darted a quick glance down towards her belly, and quickly darted his eyes back forward, but she saw him avert his gaze, and she leaned closer and nibbled on his ear. Terrance suddenly lost all control as his penis went erect, and he moaned out loud. Elle liked to tease him this way as well, but there was something so much more, for lack of a better word, predatory about Anika’s little bites. He could tell she liked his response as she moved to his neck and bit harder, sucking and kissing on it as if to drain his blood. She giggled as he tried to recoil and sink into the cushions to escape, but it was useless. She could smell the sweat that was building up on his body, and she found it quite cute how he was reacting. She cuddled even closer and whispered directly into his ear, her sexy voice with a hint of accent reverberating through his whole body.
“I’m really hungry,” she said, as her stomach rumbled low in agreement, “and you’re very tasty. I might just eat you instead.”
Terrance was breathing very heavily, and Anika could feel his heart racing. She grinned and giggled in his ear, and it grew even louder.
“You’re a real cutie, you know that. I know you only paid for me to eat your girlfriend, but I’d be down for having some extra fun afterwards if you want, no extra charge. What do you say?”
“I...I...I…” he gulped hard, his breathing becoming more rapid, “well...AGH!”
He yelled in surprise as she bit his neck again, harder this time, before letting out another long, pleasurable moan. He was completely at her mercy, and he loved it.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” she said, leaning back, as Terrance let out a sigh of relief.
“She’ll...she’ll be home soon,” he said, nearly gasping to regain his breath control again.
Anika stood up and stretched overhead, making sure he got a good look at her toned, round ass.
“Alright. Just call her in here when you’re ready for me,” her tummy rumbled once again as she licked her lips, “in the meantime, I’ll freshen up in the bathroom. Where is it?”
Terrance pointed, his arm shaking from all the excitement he was feeling.
“Thanks sweetie,” she giggled in a frisky way, heading for the bathroom, once again knowing full well he was watching her gorgeous ass as it swung side to side with each step.
Terrance lost track of time as he sat on the couch, dazed and aroused about what had just happened, but also puzzled by the way she was talking. How was this roleplay going to work? That duffle bag was so small, maybe just enough space for some overnight toiletries. She didn’t have any prosthetics or toys or...anything besides her purse. What was she going to do once the roleplay started? Was she just going to use one of their pillows to simulate her having eaten Elle? He was lost in his own headspace, but soon came crashing down to Earth when he heard the front door open.
“Honey, are you home?”
He didn’t respond, as he heard the unmistakable clanks and clinks of Elle putting her things down on the entrance table. He slowly stood up.
“Hey babe,” he called back, somehow managing not to stutter over his excitement.
“Oh, there you are,” he could hear her taking off her shoes, “I was swamped at work today, I barely had a moment to rest.”
“I see. Hey, I’m in the living room, can you come here for a second.”
A few moments later, she appeared. Her cute bob of light brown hair shown in the late afternoon sunlight. Her green eyes looking at him lovingly behind her glasses.
“What’s up?”
Terrance stood completely still and didn’t say a word.
“Honey, what’s wrong,” she said stepping closer.
Terrance smiled faintly.
“Babe, what is it? You’re starting to scare me,” she took another step towards him, and took a deep breath, noticing Anika coming in silently out of the corner of his eye.
“Happy Birthday,” he said softly, briefly directing his gaze behind Elle.
She looked a little confused at first, and then it clicked. He’d found someone to fulfill her fantasy, and it was happening right now. A wide, gleeful smile slowly came over her face as the realization dawned on her, and she turned around just in time to see Anika closing in on her. The gorgeous Indian woman was standing eye to eye with the cute blonde before she could say anything. She stood a few inches taller than Elle, and she caressed her shoulders, licking her lips. Anika squeezed her arms tightly and opened her mouth, but something was off. Her mouth kept opening wider and wider as both Elle and Terrance watched in shock at what she was doing. This was supposed to be roleplay. Nothing more than a fantasy, but the wider her mouth opened, it quickly dawned on the that something very different was happening than what either of them was expecting. Elle pulled her arms towards her chest as Anika pulled her into her gaping maw, saliva oozing from it down her chin and dribbling to her breasts.
Elle took a deep breath as she was yanked forward, her head being engulfed inside of her mouth, where it was hot, steamy, and drenched in saliva. She felt an overwhelming sense of euphoria take of her body as Anika took a deep breath to prepare for another gulp. Elle furiously kicked at her shoes to take them off, reaching down and unbuttoning her jeans and reaching in to feel how wet she was, and she started masturbating, pleasuring herself relentlessly as Anika swallowed again, this time taking her in up to her chest, her breasts feeling squished against Anika’s tongue, who proceeded to lick them and relish in their taste. Her head had made its way down Anika’s waiting gullet, tightly packed in her esophagus as she felt the strength of her muscles squeeze her ever downwards into her belly. Terrance, meanwhile, had collapsed to the ground, his knees giving out from the shock. He was at once terrified and enkindled by what he saw, as his throbbing erection threatened to rise once again, but the part that felt fear was still too dominant. Anika did not relent in swallowing Elle, as after another deep breath, she swallowed her up to her midriff, and Elle could feel her mind going blank as her eyes rolled back in her head, the blood rushing to her brain as her head entered Anika’s stomach. She was so dazed from the euphoria that her masturbation had all but ceased, having barely any control over her motor functions any more. Anika kept swallowing her up more and more, she felt herself fill out her stomach, while Terrance watched it from the outside as Anika’s shirt rode up to reveal her once toned stomach was now round and continuing to expand as she gobbled up Elle. Having hoisted her into the air, Anika let her mouth slowly control Elle sliding down into her belly. She took her time, letting Terrance observe his girlfriend disappear inch by inch into her distending belly, until finally, she gave once last heavy gulp, and Elle’s feet went into her mouth, and he watched as the final outlines of his girlfriend in her throat disappeared. She was resting inside of her now enormous tummy, and he still was trying to process what had happened.
“Mmmmm,” Anika said rubbing her tummy and licking her lips, her face and parts of her chest covered in saliva, “She was delicious! BUUUOOORRRRP! Such a lovely meal. UUUURRRP! Now, then, Terrance?”
He didn’t respond.
“Terrance,” she said in a loud and firm manner, which seemed to snap him out of his trance.
“I believe you are to worship my belly now, is that correct,” she cooed, patting it.
“I-I, um, y-yes.”
“Then what are you wanting for. Don’t you want to make your girlfriend happy,” he nodded, “Don’t you want to please me?”
He nodded again.
“More than anything,” his terror subsiding to give way to submissive desire.
Anika smiled as he slowly leaned forward and crawled on all fours towards her. Before long, he was on his knees in front of her, caressing her engorged belly, rubbing and kissing it. He rested his head against it, and he listened to the loud gurgling and sloshing sounds of it working to digest it’s meal. He could feel Elle’s body inside as he felt it. Inside of Anika’s belly, Elle was removing her clothes. She wanted to feel Anika’s stomach on all of her body. It had been filling up with stomach acids, and the slimy walls were contracting and jostling her around, working to coat her body with acid and soften her up for digestion. Elle smiled and curled up in a ball, feeling calmed by the smooth rocking motions of the stomach. Terrance on the outside continued to worship Anika’s belly until she moved to sit down on the couch, after which Terrance obediently follow her. Before she sat down, she looked at him, and commanded him to remove her clothes, as well as his own. Terrance obeyed, removing her leggings and panties most of the way before she sat down, pulling them all the way off. He removed her shirt and undid her bra and set them aside before removing his own clothes, revealing that his throbbing erection had returned from before. Anika smiled upon seeing it.
“I see you’re excited. Do you like seeing me this way,” she said, rubbing her belly.
“Yes, I do.”
“Come here.”
He approached meekly and she grabbed a hold of his cock, pulsing with his blood that was racing through his body.
“Go to my purse and get a condom.”
He nodded feverishly, rushing off to the bathroom, appearing again a few moments later with the condom in hand.
“Put it on then come lie down on the couch,” she said, standing up to make room for him.
He obeyed without hesitation once again, and afterwards, she straddled him, her engorged belly smothering him. He continued kissing it as best he could under its gurgling heft as he listened to the sounds of digestion that made him feel even harder. Anika gracefully slid onto his cock, though the pressure from being so full had caused her to become even tighter than usual. Terrance, slowly being deprived of oxygen due to being crushed under the belly, moaned loudly as he felt his cock make its way inside of her. Using all of his strength, he kept her belly aloft as she rode him hard. By holding up her belly, she was able to move much easier, putting less strain on the rest of her body as she continued to move up and down, feeling him fill her up with each downward thrust. Sex after a big meal wasn’t something she engaged in often as it could give her indigestion, but Terrance was doing an amazing job of keeping her belly steady as she enjoyed herself. Moving harder and faster with each successive movement, Terrance felt his arms burning as he worked as hard as he could to keep her belly up, all the while struggling not to blow his load too early. If he let go, he’d be crushed by her belly, and she might not let him up. A wicked grin covered Anika’s face as she moaned with pleasure, knowing full well what was going through his head. This feeling of power was filling her with energy and ecstasy as she continued to ride him as hard as she could, until Terrance cried out in pain.
“I can’t hold in any longer,” he screamed as he shot a hot load of cum into the condom.
Anika moaned loudly, reaching climax and asserting her dominance with a loud orgasmic moan combined with a long belch. Terrance had crashed out, smothered under her tummy, which she leaned forward and rested on, catching her breath. Terrance could barely breathe as he felt the movement of her stomach, rumbling and gurgling away at its meal. He wasn’t sure if he was feeling Anika’s stomach digest or Elle moving around, or both, but he liked it, being dominated by such a big belly. Anika eventually stood up and order him to do the same.
“Come with me, I’d like you to clean me off. I’m covered in saliva and sweat.”
He nodded, still dazed from the sex and lack of oxygen, following her to the bathroom. She ordered him to fetch the small tote bag, which contained some soap, lotions, and shampoo. He set to work, slowly but surely as his mind was coming to, rinsing down Anika and her gut off with the detachable showerhead. He worked hard to make sure he massaged her belly, rubbing every inch of her body down with soap to get her clean. Anika simply smiled as he obediently pampered, her occasionally burping as her meal was digested more and more. Inside of her tummy, Elle’s body had grown very soft, the stomach acids having burned away all of her clothes. She was immersed in the slime and digestive juices, and was struggling to keep her eyes open. Terrance’s hard work in steadying Anika’s belly had prevented her from breaking down too much or too fast, but the stomach hadn’t halted in its job. She knew that by this time tomorrow, she’d be nothing but fat on Anika’s body. She finally had her prey fantasy fulfilled, but never did she ever think it would come true like this. She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep as she felt the stomach walls rock her back and forth, a smile on her face.
After he had finished rinsing her off, Anika ordered Terrance to clean himself off as she dried herself, which he did so very quickly. She was pleased with how responsive and obedient he was being to her orders. Throwing him a towel and watching him dry off as he got out the shower, she patted her gurgling tummy, licking her lips as she admired his body. He really was very cute. She’d never quite experienced anything like this on one of her jobs before, and she liked it. Having someone pamper her after her meals, someone who was cute and had the stamina to play with her.
“Terrance,” she sweetly asked.
He timidly looked at her.
She walked towards him, pinning him to the wall with her belly, and beckoning him to lean forward. He did, and she kissed him passionately, a reward for his obedience.
“Let’s go to bed. I have a lot more digesting to do.”
“Okay. Come with me.”
She backed away to let him move, and she grabbed his arm as he lead her to the bedroom. He pulled the covers back on the bed, and she laid down to make herself comfortable. She patted the space next to her, and he climbed into bed with her, cuddling close to her. The two fell asleep quickly, each one knowing that this was the start of something special , as the sounds of Anika’s gurgling belly drifted off into the night.
Been posting for a bit
Posts: 34
Joined: Mon Jan 29, 2018 3:08 pm

Return to Work to be shared!

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: pervside380