Hello, I have been a long time lurker of this site, and relatively recently started posting some vore stories. Most of them starring my OC Linda Tritz, a MILF Ostrich with a very voracious appetite. Please give them a read, I'd love to have some feedback on them:
With Neighbors Like These... 7.0k words
Anniversary Meal 8.2k words
A Typical Christmas for the Tritz 3.1k words
Linda Tritz's Many Meals
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This section is for any artist, writer, animator, or any form of creation to share their work in order to receive comment to improve themselves better.
Read the rules in detail here
Read the Critiquing suggestion here
Please open only one thread per person. Detail here.
11 posts
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Re: Linda Tritz's Many Meals
I don't think I've ever seen a story about an ostrich.
I will most definitely give these a read when I get a chance.
I will most definitely give these a read when I get a chance.
- Tassie
- Participator
- Posts: 246
- Joined: Thu Mar 13, 2014 12:05 am
Re: Linda Tritz's Many Meals
I know revision can seem like a monolith, but it's an important part of the craft and essential to overcoming our bad writing instincts. Your writing has a predilection toward filler words, and the best thing for that is taking out the pruning shears and getting to work. Or you can hire or coerce an editor to do it for you.
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TheWildeWood - Been posting for a bit
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- Joined: Thu Aug 15, 2019 6:28 am
Re: Linda Tritz's Many Meals
You had me at 'MILF Ostrich' ...and i was not disappointed I definitely like Linda, and as someone with an ostrich OC myself i definitely dig the unusual (and underappreciated) species choice. Will have to watch in hopes of more
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unicorn - Intermediate Vorarephile
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- Location: Greenland
Re: Linda Tritz's Many Meals
TheWildeWood wrote:I know revision can seem like a monolith, but it's an important part of the craft and essential to overcoming our bad writing instincts. Your writing has a predilection toward filler words, and the best thing for that is taking out the pruning shears and getting to work. Or you can hire or coerce an editor to do it for you.
I had been worried that I spend too much time with the plot before the vore. For example I had considered splitting up Neighbors into two parts, splitting it up after Linda had eaten Margaret. If only Anniversary Meal were so easy, I can only guess how intimidating reading a 8k+ OC fic is. That and wanting to get a fic done in time for the season is why the Christmas fic is 'only' 3k long. I'll definitely try to trim the fat on those filler words.
unicorn wrote:You had me at 'MILF Ostrich' ...and i was not disappointed I definitely like Linda, and as someone with an ostrich OC myself i definitely dig the unusual (and underappreciated) species choice. Will have to watch in hopes of more
Thank you very much! I have plenty of ideas for Linda's adventures, just need to get them down on paper.
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ObsidianSphinx - New to the forum
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- Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2020 4:09 am
Re: Linda Tritz's Many Meals
ObsidianSphinx wrote:I had been worried that I spend too much time with the plot before the vore. For example I had considered splitting up Neighbors into two parts, splitting it up after Linda had eaten Margaret. If only Anniversary Meal were so easy, I can only guess how intimidating reading a 8k+ OC fic is. That and wanting to get a fic done in time for the season is why the Christmas fic is 'only' 3k long. I'll definitely try to trim the fat on those filler words.
Don't worry about length, worry about content. If a story requires length, just put in chapter/section markers so people can easily find their way back to their spot if they have to leave the text. And please don't worry about putting plot first, there are all sorts of people on this site, with all sorts of interests, and I know a section of that audience likes a well written story before the "climax". Most of all, write for yourself, you'll be the one spending the most time with your work, you should enjoy it.
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TheWildeWood - Been posting for a bit
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- Joined: Thu Aug 15, 2019 6:28 am
Re: Linda Tritz's Many Meals
After some reading time, the characters were well detailed and the action was easy to follow.
I love the idea of an ostrich character, and I was really looking forward to seeing how you used them; reading was enthralling in that they were so refreshingly different from anything I think I've ever read, but then too, it was hard for me to get into the characters' heads because of the domination issue. I guess that really isn't my thing, sorry.
I think all the best advice was already covered, and for me to harp on condensing stories would be hypocritical, so I'll just say, they were well written.
Very few mistakes or grammar errors, easy to follow, easy to feel.
I love the idea of an ostrich character, and I was really looking forward to seeing how you used them; reading was enthralling in that they were so refreshingly different from anything I think I've ever read, but then too, it was hard for me to get into the characters' heads because of the domination issue. I guess that really isn't my thing, sorry.
I think all the best advice was already covered, and for me to harp on condensing stories would be hypocritical, so I'll just say, they were well written.
Very few mistakes or grammar errors, easy to follow, easy to feel.
- Tassie
- Participator
- Posts: 246
- Joined: Thu Mar 13, 2014 12:05 am
Re: Linda Tritz's Many Meals
I have never seen anyone try their hand at an ostrich. You got some good ideas and great skills to execute those ideas. Well done!
- UtagawaAki
- New to the forum
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Mon Nov 23, 2020 9:09 pm
Re: Linda Tritz's Many Meals
New story today, Hard Boiled Chicken Detective. 7.0k word story, and direct sequel to Anniversary Meal.
A Detective is hired to find Randy and Weslie Anderson, a young couple who disappeared abruptly and without a trace. Will his gut feelings save him, or will he be a gut feeling?
A little experimental with this one; First person POV, and featuring Cooking Vore. Felt the POV fitting with a detective character, and a good way to explore the world and Linda Tritz from an outsider perspective. Cooking Vore isn't usually my taste but it's not a turn-off either, hopefully I've done it justice for you who do enjoy a fine-cooked vore.
A Detective is hired to find Randy and Weslie Anderson, a young couple who disappeared abruptly and without a trace. Will his gut feelings save him, or will he be a gut feeling?
A little experimental with this one; First person POV, and featuring Cooking Vore. Felt the POV fitting with a detective character, and a good way to explore the world and Linda Tritz from an outsider perspective. Cooking Vore isn't usually my taste but it's not a turn-off either, hopefully I've done it justice for you who do enjoy a fine-cooked vore.
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ObsidianSphinx - New to the forum
- Posts: 5
- Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2020 4:09 am
Re: Linda Tritz's Many Meals
Eating the Client
Adelphie gets called to The Restless Roost P.I. office, but she wasn't told what exactly for beyond that they found information on her missing brother and his wife. While it should be good news, she can't help but feel a sense of dread as she walks inside...
A short story this time at 2.8k words, it's an epilogue expansion to the previous story that I felt worked a little better on it's own.
Adelphie gets called to The Restless Roost P.I. office, but she wasn't told what exactly for beyond that they found information on her missing brother and his wife. While it should be good news, she can't help but feel a sense of dread as she walks inside...
A short story this time at 2.8k words, it's an epilogue expansion to the previous story that I felt worked a little better on it's own.
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ObsidianSphinx - New to the forum
- Posts: 5
- Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2020 4:09 am
Re: Linda Tritz's Many Meals
Got a handful of stories I'm still working on, but for now I've bought a commission of Linda Tritz from TwistedPersona. I'm so happy with how he brought her to life, she just looks so good!
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ObsidianSphinx - New to the forum
- Posts: 5
- Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2020 4:09 am
11 posts
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