For those Wary of male profiles, does player gender matter?

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Re: For those Wary of male profiles, does player gender matt

Postby Randomdude5 » Wed Mar 03, 2021 9:38 pm

hernextmeal wrote:
It... might actually make things worse for male pred characters. The largest demographics into male preds are gay men and straight women. There's a reason most people typically follow "don't ask, don't tell" when RPing.


I guess I am the exception to that rule. I am a straight male who loves m/f and I have been called gay more than once on other sites and harassed because "Females are the best preds"
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.
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Re: For those Wary of male profiles, does player gender matt

Postby KnightleyPaine » Thu Mar 04, 2021 12:17 am

hernextmeal wrote:
coop500 wrote:OP Post


It... might actually make things worse for male pred characters. The largest demographics into male preds are gay men and straight women. There's a reason most people typically follow "don't ask, don't tell" when ERPing.

You're saying if OP specifically for herself decides it, it makes things bad for male preds? How? She's not parading here for everyone to be forced to label themselves, this is just about her figuring her own target audience for herself alone. She's looking if irl sex/gender can matter, whether someone can accept her male character on basis of her female player, and whether it's enough to outweigh her personal concerns of discomfort over revealing herself. And that is a fair conversation, because I actually know of someone who would accept that. This has nothing to do with anyone else.

Also, as someone to whom it matters, don't ask don't tell can go fuck itself with a rusty spork. You know what it looks like when it doesn't matter? It means people play with each other no matter what is behind the screen, whether it is known or not, it just makes knowing redundant in theory, but transparency has absolutely no effect on it. If it matters to someone, me for instance, and someone requires me to accept deception or obscurity stuffed down my throat, at that point I reserve the right to reject them as a person well before I reject them over any personal preferences of attraction and sexuality.
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Re: For those Wary of male profiles, does player gender matt

Postby Artemis » Thu Mar 04, 2021 1:02 am

Rumor wrote:Apologies, but those are the terms used on this site and others. Our chatroom has a "Herm Partner" preference slider while Flist has herm, male-herm, shemale, c-boy, and transgender as all listed genders, so those are the terms I am familiar with and I'm not aware of any others. If there is more correct terminology for describing someone who physically has both male and female bits, then I'd like to know.


So like, here's the deal with porn terminology. While none of these terms are terrible slurs that should never be used in any context, most of them (with the exception of transgender) are vulgar. You shouldn't use them in non-porn contexts for the same reason you don't talk about deep throating someone's cock in a non-porn context. Some people might enjoy casual use of vulgar language to describe themselves, but... a lot of people would prefer a degree of separation there. I sure know I cringed halfway out of my skin when a stranger called me a loli because I happen to be a very short, small woman. So generally speaking, it's approximately okay to use these terms when referring to fictional characters in an appropriately adult context, but you should probably never use them to describe a real person in any context unless you have some reason to believe they appreciate it.

The more respectful term you're looking for is intersex, which is also the medical term.
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Re: For those Wary of male profiles, does player gender matt

Postby Rumor » Thu Mar 04, 2021 11:47 am

Yeah, those definitely aren't terms I really use outside of this site or Flist and, even when off either site, it's 99.9% of the time in discussion with people from either site or on similar topics. Intersex works, but it's too general for identifying the physical sex of the non-standard options since it doesn't tell you if the individual is a female with male bits or a male with female bits all the varieties in between. Especially when some people might be totally into some of those varieties but otherwise squicked out by others. In my case, any non-male with male bits is frequently a turn off whereas a male with female bits... mmmm, well... never played with one to be honest. Nothing comes off as off-putting at a glance, maybe a little unusual, but don't have the experience there to say for sure. And characters with no bits at all aren't a problem for me.

Either way, point being, me expressing a dislike for "intersex characters" would be a bit disingenuous since it's not true for all variations of intersex. I get the value of the term being polite, but it's not really precise enough for the nature of this site. Though "intersex partner" would probably work better than "herm partner" on the chatroom sliders if that's the only one we're getting.
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Re: For those Wary of male profiles, does player gender matt

Postby BusinessAsUsual » Thu Mar 04, 2021 12:04 pm

Fair enough. So long as you understand the difference between talking about it here in regards to characters preference and actually calling the players themselves stuff like that, that's all that really matters. The overall subject kind of lends itself to conflating the two, so I had to see if there was a distinction in what you were saying.

Glad to see that you were willing to hear me out and not judge too hard.
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Re: For those Wary of male profiles, does player gender matt

Postby Vennaya » Sun Mar 28, 2021 1:21 am

I honestly couldn't care what you are in real life, when it comes to RPing with you. That being said, i usually prefer a players gender to go unsaid or unstated. I like the mystery. Let me imagine you as a roleplaying parrot on the other side of that keyboard! >:3

However, for me atleast, Males involved with vore kinda icks me, so i'm almost exclusively on the F/F Spectrum of things. It's not an offense taken at your character, just personal preference.

However that being said i will admit, there does seem to be a bit of a stereotype of male characters usually having clingy, creepy or rude players, especially male human characters. Or any other kind of negative connotation. For some odd reason it seems male characters are the most likely to just ignore your sliders and ask for a scene anyway, and may attempt to give you a sad face when you say no in what i can only assume be an attempt at guilt tripping. I've seen this a few times, but it is rare. It's a stereotype, of course, so its rarely actually true...but well, you know what they say, it only takes a few bad apples to spoil the bunch, and some people have been on the RP chatroom for the better part of a decade or more, and such views may be coloured or skewed. This preconception could just of easily applied to female characters if it happened that way.

Still, like i say, its a stereotype so its pretty easy to get around. Just be friendly, and considerate of other players and then others will know that you are friendly and considerate, and treat you as the rule rather than the exception.
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Re: For those Wary of male profiles, does player gender matt

Postby AudreyIIthePlant » Tue May 18, 2021 1:03 pm

I havnt done any Rping on the the site yet, but Even as a male I dont care about the partners gender, as long as they have fun I have fun :D
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Re: For those Wary of male profiles, does player gender matt

Postby Anastasia » Fri Oct 01, 2021 8:13 am

I love playing male predators and will take prey of any gender if they like a cruel sadist and play fear well :) To me, a male predator is more natural, then being on a foxy or wolfess, my personal preference. I won’t/don’t give any hint I’m female in RL…I don’t care about their RL gender. Also intimacy is very rare in my rp’s, so never have to worry about that. I play predators….not Dom’s or Masters or Daddies, or those more bonding power exchange roles. It’s much better than it used to be…the newer generation of rp’ers seem to know this is not the place for RL hookups or internet lovers, or whatever.
But seems most agenda is they’re not worried about RL gender, and to those who it does matter, I will respect that and not disclose…and it’ll be up to them if they wish to continue.
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