Need some friendly advice about chat...?

[coop500]

Alright um.... So I am a little shy about posting my own threads, so I hope this will go okay. And I also hope this will end up starting some nice convos and give friendly advice to anyone that needs it out there.

For starters, I wanted to ask what you all suggest to do about the greeting problem.... I have been role-playing for at least two years, I always read profiles and once a rp starts I rarely ever have trouble. There is just one issue... I can't for the life of me come up with a better approach and greeting then saying "hello" and "how are you today" or "good morning". Now I personally don't see why this is so hated on, it's polite, friendly and actually treating the other person as a person instead of another piece of vore meat.

Opinions aside, my question is.... What's better? How do you guys approach the people who hate the above? Or get put off by it? I want to come off as a player who has some skill, proper know how and manners, but everytime I try something different it sounds worse then my normal thing.

I see profiles a lot that say don't approach me this way, but very few tell me any hint on how I should approach, so I am looking for any advice from you guys saying how to fix this.

Now onto my second thing and really, this is just a annoyance but..... Have any of you in the Roleplay Room, see someone post a Open post and right after to whisper to them asking if it's alright to approach, a person who obviously didn't ask posted just seconds after you having already approached said person in character in the open. You see, even if you posted first, you did so in a whisper and it was OOC asking if it's okay to approach, thus usually the Open poster gives the non-asker the right away. Now this happens to me a lot, like at least once a day, sometimes more and it kind of saddening because it feels the community is punishing you for being polite.

Now I am sure some of you will not agree with me by how I feel, which is fine, but my question is.... Should I just continue doing things the way I am and just take the losses, or is it just more expected to barge in unless the poster actually requests to be whispered?

I thank you all who reads this and wish you a good day! And I hope this was the right place to ask.

[pudgepire]

Honestly, I don't care for hanging greetings or people asking for how I am. It sounds bitchy or jaded, but I know that they don't really care about it at all.

I can't even count the number of times someone has asked and I've said something like "Really tired" or "Feeling kinda down" or something like that and the other person has just said "cool. wanna rp." so it's really just put a bad taste in my mouth for greetings like that. I don't like pointless small-talk. I want people to get to the point, and in turn, I do the same. I prefer greetings to be along the lines of "Hello. I hope this isn't a bother, but I was looking over your character and found *x-interesting traits that the individual liked* and noticed that we both liked *y-kinks*. If you weren't busy and found my character to suit your fancy, I was wondering if you'd like to play?" Basically, I like greeting and request for scene in the same post if there aren't any questions. Vague compliments about my character make me extremely uncomfortable (such as "What lovely horns" or "such a nice tail" "Very beautiful").

For the second issue, I avoid the Roleplay Room because I'm very particular and not very good with open RP/don't really like to RP in public very much. But I think that, despite what you doing being the most polite thing to do, a lot of people there just want to RP with anybody. I can't really say for sure since I don't hang out there. I really do think that most of what goes on there is just assuming that everyone wants to play with anybody if they post (open) at the end of their post. I dunno. If you are getting RP at all, maybe just keep doing what you're doing and being polite.

[Delet932b4sk]

I can't lend a lot of discussion to the matter of actually initiating RP, given that I don't, as a rule, preferring to wait to be approached. However, I will say I also don't really appreciate small talk, whether in real life or in the chat, less because I know the person doesn't care and more because I just find it really awkward when we both know what we're there for. I would probably like people on there a lot more if they were more direct, and nothing spoils my mood to play with a person like an in-character approach or one that's just some lame compliment that really doesn't mean anything. As well, I've never gotten a compliment about the way my profile was written, or its content, but lots of adoration if I pick an enticing picture, and lots of people who out themselves as never having bothered to read the whole thing to start with, unintentionally. That gets people shut down pretty fast.

I used to use the Roleplay Room a lot, but I would recommend dropping it. Roleplay there tends to take a significant drop in quality in general, which is pretty much my last word on it, unless you like public, group roleplay.

What you're doing is probably fine. If I had to give any advice it would be to drop the greetings, if only because quite a few people are, in fact (myself included), the type of people who don't appreciate it any more online than in real life, and both come across as disingenuous even if you intend them sincerely--that's just the world we live in, in my eyes.

[Softkitty]

Okay, this is a bit of a pickle, but at the same time, I can relate to some parts of it.

I personally do not like the whole 'hello' and 'how are you' messages, but for a bit of a different reason. When I get on one of my characters that is 'liked' in chat, I tend to get three to five people messaging me 'hello' and then I have to greet them all back 'Hello there.' Then each one of them hits me with 'how are you' and I have to say, 'Good and you?' And with chat spam filter... just leads to tedium. You could almost copy paste a response to it. I never really jump on anyone for it, but it does give me a internal sigh. Mostly because then I get the whole 'looking to play?' message from each of them, and it bums me out to have to tell 4 no and 1 yes. A person who messages me 'Hello there, how are you? Was curious if you might wanna play?' all in one message... instant love. Simple, one post response back if I am interested or not. Chopping them up into three questions to get a no, that just kinda makes me feel bad... silly as it sounds.

As for the public approach thing, THAT I completely understand. People, IMO, tend to view rp room chat as canon in some way shape or form a lot of times, and if someone approaches... then in character, it would seem strange to ignore them. Now that does not mean anything if they post up a '((please whisper first))' and someone approaches without doing it. A lot of times when I am playing in public, which is rare nowadays... >.< sadly... I do play first come first serve. But a lot of times if more than one want to join, and it is okay with all partners... then a group rp can be fun. After all... even if I nom someone, got other places I can put the rest. ^_-_^

But all in all, do not feel bad for not being able to come up with some way to greet someone. A simple 'Hey there! Like your character, was curious if you might like mine?' can really win you points, more so if YOU have an idea for a scene and do not rely on them to come up with something. But as far as a simple greeting, unless their profile says 'do not message me like ______' then message them how you want. And if they get mad... they are not really worth your time, no matter how pretty a picture is. Roleplay is fun, not a chore... roleplay is for both parties, not just for them or you.

Be awesome, simple life rule.

[DragonsFTW]

Like said before, the main problem with those 'Hi, how are you?' posts is that you get these as stock greeting all the time. Some people even use it as an excuse to start a conversation, and expect you to carry it from there, bringing no ideas or anything like that forward. I prefer it when a person opens up with bringing their ideas forward. 'Hiya, looking for a roleplay? I have a few ideas.' is an approach i like far better. At least it helps speed things up some, instead of the arbitrary stock greetings that drag on forever.

[Artemis]

I always assumed that people went to the roleplay room strictly because they didn't want to see OOC chatter.

Like... If that's true your attempts at being polite would actually come across as quite rude to them. Someone enters a room to escape the OOC, posts something marked as "Open for you to RP" and gets an OOC whisper instead.

My advice is just to avoid using OOC in the Roleplay Room whenever you can, as that's what the room is designed for. The Vore Room and The Library cater more to the "Whisper First" crowd.


Oh, and hopping into a conversation in the vore room or OOC room is probably a better and more satisfying way to make friends. Small Talk comes off as really disingenuous when given to someone you don't know.

[maraudingmarauder]

Small Talk comes off as really disingenuous when given to someone you don't know.

That's basically it.

I tend to hang out in the vore room when I'm actually on, and chatter in public a lot, and three million "hi" "how are you" "want to rp" messages... after a while, that sequence gets old. Some people are far more comfortable getting to know people via general chitchat first. Or at least have something to say right off the bat, or a setting in mind, or something so we're not just two characters in a featureless void.

If someone posts in public and has open to approach set, they're putting themselves out there and making a setting, they're probably more comfortable with leaping straight to the IC stuff and skipping the smalltalk. If you're selling what they're buying, jump in!

[coop500]

Oh my, I did not expect so many detailed responses.

While I already knew some of the reasons why people hate the how are yous the better explaination behind it besides don't do it or you will be ignored helps quite a bit in understanding the problem. However you all may should remember, unlike you I barely get whispered to because my pred characters are pretty much the bottom of the majority preference barrel, so I never personally experienced being whispered to more then once a day and can go weeks actually without a whisper. So I didn't really understand before the problem.

So in that case, as one helpful post suggested, I will see about putting a request to play all in the same post. How does... Hmm.... "Greetings there, good morning (or whatever time it is) I was reading your profile and was wondering, would you be by any chance interested in a roleplay? " sound? Then I assume after that we can discuss contents and story. I usually always have a little idea planned after reading the profile, usually tangling into the character's lifestyle so it makes sense.

Now onto the RP room.... Interesting, I was wondering if it was just more expected to barge in, it just seemed so rude lol, and well some of you said you don't bother with the RP room but I personally have met some decent roleplayers and had some enjoyable times. I admit it can be stressful though and I do prefer whispers, because more then once I had my problems with the public. (Prey stealers anyone? )

So I have came to the conclusion that.... I don't know yet lol, I may just try to base it off the situation, after reading the profile if most of our likes and dislikes match then I will just approach but if some things are questionable, like Endo is a huge need for me and a lot of times people say it depends on their mood or partner, that to me makes it seem I should ask, or be stuck in a situation where the prey wants to be digested and I am not comfortable doing that, you see?

[Rendezvore]

Pretty much agree with everyone else. The same old stock greetings without any context or follow-up included in the initial post is very off-putting. And trying to juggle multiple whispers is difficult and annoying. It's like trying to get several people at once to tell the punchline of individual knock-knock jokes, amiright? While I try not to flat out ignore anyone, I do tend to roll my eyes while waiting for them to finally get to the point.

Consider, also, how long it takes to discuss a scene, preferences, personal kinks, what you use to RP, and exchanging contact info. That's where most of your time should be spent because even after all that you could still end up being incompatible. So, what we really need to see first hand is how you write a proposal. If your greeting is just a couple words without capitalization, punctuation, and no follow-up, then that is all we have to go by in terms of your writing ability and how serious your intentions are.

Now I personally don't see why this is so hated on, it's polite, friendly and actually treating the other person as a person instead of another piece of vore meat.

Except, it's kind of the opposite. Would you respond to a Seeking Partner forum post with a PM saying "hello" and nothing else...?
If someone is LFRP then they probably set aside some free time to discuss RP, so try to give them that much of your respect and don't waste time with small talk unless the other person offers it. Once you've established that you are both compatible and begin working on a scene, conversations and joking around will come naturally as partnerships and friendships form.

"Greetings there, good morning (or whatever time it is) I was reading your profile and was wondering, would you be by any chance interested in a roleplay? "

You would have my full attention. You sound intelligent, literate, and worth responding to. I would at least want to see what kinds of ideas you had in mind.

[coop500]

"Greetings there, good morning (or whatever time it is) I was reading your profile and was wondering, would you be by any chance interested in a roleplay? "

You would have my full attention. You sound intelligent, literate, and worth responding to. I would at least want to see what kinds of ideas you had in mind.

I hope this doesn't come off as rude, but I am disregarding the majority of your post for this, mainly because I already have read seven other times why people hate the greeting, just seems..... Parden the pun, regurgitated information.

However I am glad to hear my alternative does sound better to you, thank you for that. I will probably be using variations of that instead.

[Jswrighting]

When I want to start a Roleplay with someone I always start OOC. IC is just frustrating (and a whole other topic) to me and I will usually turn them down. Anyway, for me, a simple "Hello" is all I need to start a conversation.
I have never had any problems with just saying hi. So my advice is just be yourself when introducing, because its much harder to be playing a character all the time than just being that character after a situation has been decided.

[Rumor]

Reading all this makes me feel like my approach strategy has been off the mark (and considering my luck lately, I have to be doing something wrong). I've been refraining from jumping right in to asking in the first message since, well, it felt a bit... rushed? Like, I don't care about the person or something. So, kinda rude feeling, hence I'd break it up into the usual Greeting > How is > Request RP messages. Yet, at the same time, that was starting to feel a bit... formulaic and mechanical, sorta. So... maybe I should try some of these more one-message approaches to get everything onto the table first and see if that works better for me?

That and figure out how to make my profiles seem less intimidating, since some friends of mine pointed out that they kinda are. Or at least my main one is...

[LucifersChef]

I am really delighted to see some explanations here of peoples dislike of 'how are you' and 'hello'. I couldn't for the life of me fathom why. But the things said here make lots of sense.