I experience discomfort in endo scenarios :C

[rbrtlo]

I've done more than a bit of roleplaying, and I think it's fair to say I've been around the block. If you run through one of those infamous preference lists common to the seeking thread, it's likely that I've once indulged someone or myself in exploring each list-item you will read, (sans the ones that violate my norm values) and more often more than once.

Through that long, complicated, and squishy journey, I've come to realize that roleplay scenarios that include elements of willing vore, non-fatal vore, and endosomaphilia (beyond its implicit involvement in all vore) discomfit me.

I've enjoyed many of these scenarios--I've often had fun writing them. But something hangs over them that prompts my revulsion response. The sensation is connected in my brain to that of smelling decomposing garbage--there is an immediate, thin, impossibly-sweet scent that you can almost taste, surrounded by a thick trunk of vomitsmell. Endo scenarios to me carry that same, slim vein of impossible sweetness, and that same disgusting aura.

The result is a lingering, cloying, disturbing sensation that has each time lasted for days. For up to a week after, memories of the roleplay have often resurfaced in my head and troubled me, even when doing unrelated things.

After perhaps 3 or 4 separate instances of this experience, each carrying different intensity, I stopped accepting scenarios involving those elements. It wasn't until the last time that I realized these weren't isolated incidents and that I began to meditate on the situation.

I'm going to mention here that all of my endo-y experiences have been as prey, I usually roleplay as prey and have more fun in that role. Moving on.

From journeys inward (pun unintended, but delightfully resonant) and a lot of introspection, I've gathered so far that I feel this way because endo scenarios involve extolling the predator. The pred does a symbolic leap away from being a person. I struggle to label what this leap is toward. Not a person, not a landscape, not a god--something in-between perhaps. But that leap is where my brain starts to crawl, and--egh! Isn't that weird?

I'm not driving toward a final point here. If you like these things, that's great, if not, I don't care. I don't need advice, I know not to do it again, and maybe 3-4 times was a lot to figure it out but w/e, learning is organic and yadda yadda.

But if you've had a similar experience, you aren't alone! You could share your feelings about it if it'd make you feel better, and I want to know how other people feel about this stuff. And if you want to add some loosely justified and ultimately un-verifiable theory about why these feelings might arise, feel free! I like exploring the possibilities for the sake of it from time to time.

That's all my thoughts about that for now, thanks for reading.

[Reverie]

...So if I'm reading this correctly, you're asking for people to complain about endo on the endo board?

[rbrtlo]

...So if I'm reading this correctly, you're asking for people to complain about endo on the endo board?

You have not read this correctly

I'm describing my experience with endo, and I'm curious about the experiences of others. I'm not asking for people to complain about it!

If anyone posts 'yo, endo sucks!' I'll be like, 'what do you mean, have you even tried it?'

Also! I posted this on the endo board because the endo board is for all things endo! This is a thing endo!

To you and everyone, I ask, please don't read this as an attack on endosoma. This is my personal, historical reaction to it, and I want to know if others have had similar (or different!) experiences. No hate pls.

[XDDX]

http://carraroebouncingcastles.com/obstacle-courses/

There is your pred =p

[TreFix]

you should totally try some more fetishes your not accustomed to and record your excruciating psychological experiences

But if you've had a similar experience, you aren't alone! You could share your feelings about it if it'd make you feel better, and I want to know how other people feel about this stuff. And if you want to add some loosely justified and ultimately un-verifiable theory about why these feelings might arise, feel free! I like exploring the possibilities for the sake of it from time to time.

I don't think your gonna get many post here of that nature, because the folk who read endo fourms are

...usually into endo
(who here thought this thread was gonna be about finding n' posting endo in which the pred or prey is in discomfort ?)

[coop500]

you should totally try some more fetishes your not accustomed to and record your excruciating psychological experiences

But if you've had a similar experience, you aren't alone! You could share your feelings about it if it'd make you feel better, and I want to know how other people feel about this stuff. And if you want to add some loosely justified and ultimately un-verifiable theory about why these feelings might arise, feel free! I like exploring the possibilities for the sake of it from time to time.

I don't think your gonna get many post here of that nature, because the folk who read endo fourms are

...usually into endo
(who here thought this thread was gonna be about finding n' posting endo in which the pred or prey is in discomfort ?)

I thought that too when I read the title but then it definitely wasn't that lol.

I don't know what to say.... I never had that feeling besides with digestion and fatal stuff, then I have a sick and discomforting feeling. But with endo, willing or not always made me feel happy and giddy.

[rbrtlo]

you should totally try some more fetishes your not accustomed to and record your excruciating psychological experiences

Maybe I will, I think I could make it an interesting read.

I don't think your gonna get many post here of that nature, because the folk who read endo fourms are

...usually into endo

Every new post, regardless of the board it is posted in, reaches the new post area on the front page and is seen by everyone. I don't think many actually reach conversations by tunnelling through the board index. At any rate, even if this is unusual for this board, I feel my post is properly sorted. :p

http://carraroebouncingcastles.com/obstacle-courses/

There is your pred =p

...that actually describes my feelings pretty well, haha. Maybe I should edit my original post--"the pred takes a symbolic leap... not a person, not a landscape, not a god, and not a bouncehouse--but something in-between."

I don't know what to say.... I never had that feeling besides with digestion and fatal stuff, then I have a sick and discomforting feeling. But with endo, willing or not always made me feel happy and giddy.

You know, I recognize that giddiness in this situation, I've felt it too--but I think I'm uncomfortable with it and don't like it. That's the 'sweet' part that I mentioned in my original post. For me, it feels too sweet and makes my brain feel bad. >>

[Sideromelane]

I get the same thing whenever anyone tries to treat me as prey - it's deeply unpleasant and sets off all my negatives. I guess it's probably not an uncommon thing, depending on your preferences, certainly some of the extreme freakouts people regularly have on the forums about stuff they think no-one should be into would indicate that that revulsion is a common response to stuff people are not into.

[rbrtlo]

I get the same thing whenever anyone tries to treat me as prey - it's deeply unpleasant and sets off all my negatives. I guess it's probably not an uncommon thing, depending on your preferences, certainly some of the extreme freakouts people regularly have on the forums about stuff they think no-one should be into would indicate that that revulsion is a common response to stuff people are not into.

I think you're right--I'm very aware of all those threads saying 'how does anyone like this thing? This is so gross, I hate it!' I've always thought that aort of thing was very dumb and self-centered.

But it's likely that the posters of those threads feel the same thing I have, and just react to it with a... less than reasonable response.

[Kanosint]

...So if I'm reading this correctly, you're asking for people to complain about endo on the endo board?

Nay, this is actually quite an interesting topic and I'm glad I checked it out.

The OP seems to be liking endo a lot, but feels physically ill when writing about is.


To OP: have you experienced the same when predding as endo? What if it's tight endo, so the prey really isn't as much of an 'explorer', so to speak, and instead it'd be more like a cosy hug?

[rbrtlo]

To OP: have you experienced the same when predding as endo? What if it's tight endo, so the prey really isn't as much of an 'explorer', so to speak, and instead it'd be more like a cosy hug?

Actually I've not roleplayed as pred in an endo scenario yet, I'd noticed that as a hole in the puzzle when first conceiving of this topic.
But if I play it out in my head, I still get the same crawling sensation in my skull.

It just occurred to me that I don't like the terminability or interminability of endo scenes--the prey is either trapped forever or eventually let out. Something about that bothers me.

Even when I play fatal scenes, I don't deal with disposal, and I never think about it. I think that has something to do with it. I'm going to let the idea digest for a little, the thinking is beginning to strain me.


Thank you for dealing with the topic as I wrote it, by the way. I hadn't expected people to interpret my motives as incendiary, even though I can see where that feeling comes from.

[YourWhiteMage]

Hi I have never experienced such stuff with endo myself. I find it to be absolutely awesome. I actually found it to be a solution to all my problems with vore that made me feel unquiet. I mean that seems to be the feeling of discomfort that accompanies preferences. In any case, I had a very similar when it came to any vore I first found when I realized other people liked this stuff as well. I like macro/micro and that was how I first encountered the material. But all the stuff with digestion and fatality gave me the same feeling. It was sick to me. I hated it. I felt ashamed for liking parts of it. Hard vore stuff gave me an even more visceral reaction. That was an easily identifiable dislike. But it wasn't until I eventually found endo and non-fatal material a few months later that I found what I like and where I belong. You see the other material would give stuff I liked, and more than I wanted. I also liked being able to see food digesting around me despite not wanting to be digested so, yeah. That is why the situation felt bitter-sweet. After I found endo and non-fatal and knew I could get stuff I actually liked and people would RP it. That changed though and I simply stuck to those situations. Fatality causes revulsion if not worse generally.

Now that is the closest I can say to your feeling. My feelings on fatality are not entirely the same however. Depending on the situation and how it is handled, the lasting effects you described I definitely get, but with a very different emotion. When say somebody tries to justify the preds actions with fatality, or cover it up, or make the law uncaring, it pokes my sense of morality. If the prey is particularly vulnerable or weak, and the pred knows what it is doing and is remorseless, this feeling builds up. You see these situations spark my ire at the injustice of the situation. I can be sent into a rage for days about these fictional situations. which is kinda messed up. I get it. It is silly because fictional. I get the same way with real life injustice. Like the string of cops murdering people and getting out of even trials. That stuff still pisses me off. But it is fictional I should calm down. But yeah I get super pissed. That is why I have in my preferences non-fatal only and stuff. Sure willing can stop the rage cause it doesn't ping my moral center as bad. but the pred usually doesn't care about the prey, which pings my moral center. So yeah I draw a hard line with that stuff. I generally don't share this because I don't want anyone on here feeling guilty for what they like. Honestly I don't get pissed at people for wanting to RP fatal situations with me or think any less of the people who like that stuff. some are my friends. However I do get super annoyed at people not reading my profile and preferences. I also do complain alot about people not properly tagging stuff because I do get this way. This is why people set boundaries.

I hope this related enough to the topic. Sorry for rambling.