The News Girl (Main Story Finished) Updated 7/5/17

Are you looking for a place to post your work, hoping to receive comments, suggestions and criticisms? If so, this forum is for you! Showcase your stories, drawings, animations, and anything else you have created here. You can even upload your files directly to our site! Note: Everyone is free to share opinions of anything here. If you can't handle criticism, refrain from posting here!
Forum rules
This section is for any artist, writer, animator, or any form of creation to share their work in order to receive comment to improve themselves better.

Read the rules in detail here

Read the Critiquing suggestion here

Please open only one thread per person. Detail here.

The News Girl (Main Story Finished) Updated 7/5/17

Postby NeyNey » Sat Sep 19, 2015 1:11 am

Hi!

I have been a long time lurker, but I have started a story I thought I'd share. It's currently in a film script format, as I have been imagining it as more of a comic. Although, I think it's still readable and should be easy enough to read.

If any artist would like to work with me on creating some artwork for this story let me know. I wouldn't mind looking into getting some commissions done for bits of this story too.

The story currently contains: Digestion, Pre-Vore M/F and F/M, Burping/Farting, Full F/M and M/F vore, Light Sexual elements.

Update 7/5/17 - Ok the story is completed now. I will possibly go back through the whole thing in awhile and tidying some things up and I'll do more bio's and maybe even have some reference pictures for how I was imagining some of the characters. Those would just be existing photos and stuff though as I can't draw.

Update 7/2/17 - It's probably heading towards finishing soon. I never meant this story to go on this long, it was initially meant to be a short sequence/story. I'm unsure of how exactly to wrap it up, but have a few ideas for a conclusion. So yeah, if you have liked this story, thanks for reading and I'll hopefully update again soon which may be the final end.

Thanks.

Matt

Age: 26
Build: Fit/Average
Looks/Style: Nothing too distinctive, slightly scruffy hair, dirty blonde.
Occupation: Nurse at hospital.
Other: Slightly a loner.

Samantha

Age: 27
Build: Slender/Average
Looks/Style: Not a girly girl, blonde, hair done but a bit messy usually, pretty but ever so slightly boyish.
Occupation: Electronic store clerk
Other: Smoker

Esther

Age: 29
Build: Average
Looks/Style: Professional news presenter, casual wear outside, brunette faint blonde streaks.
Occupation: News Reader/News person
Other: Enjoys swallowing people regularly, fun person, nice.

Amanda

Age: 30
Build: Petite
Looks/Style: Brunette, jeans, company shirt.
Occupation: Recruiter for a meal company

Katie

Age: 25
Build: Slender, but slightly fuller overall than Sam.
Looks/Style: Girly, wearing dress, soft material headband, 1960's inspired possibly, chestnut hair.

Dave

Age: 28
Build: Strong, heavier and more muscly than Matt
Looks/Style: Dark hair, handsome.

Mel

Age: 29
Build: Slender
Looks/Style: Naked, being digested
Other: Sister of Matt

Paul

Age: 30
Build: Average, a little thicker
Looks: Jacket, white shirt, popped collar, black spiked hair.
Other: Cocky/A bit annoying personality

Milly

Age: 28
Build: Average
Looks: Asian, creamy dress with only one shoulder covered.
Other: Caring, friendly, joker.
Attachments
The News Girl.pdf
7/5/17 Story Finished
(101.06 KiB) Downloaded 272 times
Last edited by NeyNey on Sun Jun 16, 2019 12:00 am, edited 29 times in total.
Want to see me from a new perspective?
User avatar
NeyNey
Somewhat familiar
 
Posts: 90
Joined: Sun Jun 04, 2006 11:00 pm

Re: News Girl

Postby NeyNey » Mon Sep 21, 2015 2:24 am

Probably wasn't the best OP, anyway, if someone does have any comments though. This is basically a first draft as I mentioned..
Last edited by NeyNey on Sun Jun 16, 2019 12:00 am, edited 1 time in total.
Want to see me from a new perspective?
User avatar
NeyNey
Somewhat familiar
 
Posts: 90
Joined: Sun Jun 04, 2006 11:00 pm

Re: News Girl

Postby Fidel2323 » Mon Sep 21, 2015 12:08 pm

Great Worldbuilding there. I want this to be contiued :D
User avatar
Fidel2323
Advanced Vorarephile
 
Posts: 920
Joined: Sun May 13, 2007 11:00 pm
Location: Germany

Re: News Girl

Postby NeyNey » Tue Sep 22, 2015 10:35 pm

Thanks, I'll hopefully add to it soonish!
Last edited by NeyNey on Sun Jun 16, 2019 12:01 am, edited 1 time in total.
Want to see me from a new perspective?
User avatar
NeyNey
Somewhat familiar
 
Posts: 90
Joined: Sun Jun 04, 2006 11:00 pm

Re: The News Girl

Postby Geomiror » Tue Sep 29, 2015 4:38 am

Your thoughts affect my studies very seriously.
Geomiror
New to the forum
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Sep 29, 2015 4:23 am

Re: The News Girl

Postby NeyNey » Tue Jan 05, 2016 6:56 pm

I started doing an update on this story. Heres some more, I should be adding more to it soon. Download in the first post!
Last edited by NeyNey on Sun Jun 16, 2019 12:01 am, edited 1 time in total.
Want to see me from a new perspective?
User avatar
NeyNey
Somewhat familiar
 
Posts: 90
Joined: Sun Jun 04, 2006 11:00 pm

Re: The News Girl

Postby californasun » Wed Jan 06, 2016 7:09 am

Seems interesting hopefully a female is eaten with some painful digestion. I like the world building but how does vore work? Is their reformation, or does society not care about people being digested to death. Sam says shes eaten 6, but then that girl in the hospital could of been charged if she digested all the way.
Good so far
californasun
Somewhat familiar
 
Posts: 70
Joined: Sat Mar 02, 2013 12:50 am

Re: The News Girl

Postby NeyNey » Wed Jan 06, 2016 7:46 am

Hi thanks for reading it.

It is established that there are laws that deal with the age of people engaging in vore, along with having to have consent. Some people want to be digested and people like Sam are willing to oblige. There was also the recruiter trying to find meals for people who want to vore someone. There are people who don't like vore in the world too!

I'll refine the earlier sections as I go too probably. I have imagined it from a comic perspective as well, so it's maybe not as descriptive in the text and I have gone with a film style script for the format.
Last edited by NeyNey on Sun Jun 16, 2019 12:01 am, edited 1 time in total.
Want to see me from a new perspective?
User avatar
NeyNey
Somewhat familiar
 
Posts: 90
Joined: Sun Jun 04, 2006 11:00 pm

Re: The News Girl

Postby californasun » Wed Jan 06, 2016 7:50 am

Oh its good, I probably just missed it. Do people reform, and is digestion painful? Thats generally how my stories go so I was just wondering
californasun
Somewhat familiar
 
Posts: 70
Joined: Sat Mar 02, 2013 12:50 am

Re: The News Girl

Postby NeyNey » Wed Jan 06, 2016 7:59 am

They don't reform, it's a semi realistic world!
Last edited by NeyNey on Sun Jun 16, 2019 12:02 am, edited 1 time in total.
Want to see me from a new perspective?
User avatar
NeyNey
Somewhat familiar
 
Posts: 90
Joined: Sun Jun 04, 2006 11:00 pm

Re: The News Girl

Postby californasun » Wed Jan 06, 2016 8:08 am

Very well. Hope to see a latina on the menu
californasun
Somewhat familiar
 
Posts: 70
Joined: Sat Mar 02, 2013 12:50 am

Re: The News Girl (Story in Progress)

Postby NeyNey » Mon Jan 11, 2016 6:48 pm

Updated. File in first post!
Last edited by NeyNey on Sun Jun 16, 2019 12:02 am, edited 1 time in total.
Want to see me from a new perspective?
User avatar
NeyNey
Somewhat familiar
 
Posts: 90
Joined: Sun Jun 04, 2006 11:00 pm

Re: The News Girl (Story in Progress) Updated 01/11/16

Postby NeyNey » Sun Jan 24, 2016 8:24 pm

Added some descriptions in OP.

An update to the PDF will be coming soon, it'll include the first major vore scene.
Last edited by NeyNey on Sun Jun 16, 2019 12:03 am, edited 2 times in total.
Want to see me from a new perspective?
User avatar
NeyNey
Somewhat familiar
 
Posts: 90
Joined: Sun Jun 04, 2006 11:00 pm

Re: The News Girl (Story in Progress) Updated 01/11/16

Postby Emperor_Palpatine » Mon Jan 25, 2016 7:01 am

I like Milly. Can't wait to see what happens with her.
http://aryion.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=31&t=15662 /RP preferences

Walk in the room and I know they all know man
If they don't know, put on a little show
User avatar
Emperor_Palpatine
Heavy user
 
Posts: 37786
Joined: Sat Nov 22, 2008 12:00 am

Re: The News Girl (Story in Progress) Updated 01/27/16

Postby NeyNey » Tue Jan 26, 2016 6:40 pm

Okay, the PDF has now been updated. It includes the first major vore scene like I mentioned before. Hope people like it.

Thanks Emperor! I'll come back to those characters at some point for sure!
Last edited by NeyNey on Sun Jun 16, 2019 12:03 am, edited 1 time in total.
Want to see me from a new perspective?
User avatar
NeyNey
Somewhat familiar
 
Posts: 90
Joined: Sun Jun 04, 2006 11:00 pm

Re: The News Girl (Story in Progress) Updated 01/27/16

Postby GameOfPickles » Tue Feb 09, 2016 2:23 pm

I think this is great so far! The world you have created is interesting. It is a little odd to think about the relatives of someone who chooses to be eaten and the aftermath. It's basically like letting someone murder someone else and letting them get away with it. How would you like to meet the guy who ate your sister? It's weird to think about, but I suppose that's the nature of vore. Anyways, great work! Hope it continues.
User avatar
GameOfPickles
Somewhat familiar
 
Posts: 105
Joined: Sat Apr 26, 2014 3:38 am

Re: The News Girl (Story in Progress) Updated 01/27/16

Postby NeyNey » Wed Feb 10, 2016 3:26 am

Glad you liked it so far. Yeah, the whole thing with some people wanting to be eaten and the impacts it could have is fun to imagine and play with. How'd you like the scenes with Esther?

EDIT: PDF has been re-uploaded, I have made some small fixes!

Also, if any artist would like to work with me on creating some artwork for this story let me know. I may also look into doing some commissions for bits of this story as well, but probably not for awhile.
Last edited by NeyNey on Sun Jun 16, 2019 12:04 am, edited 1 time in total.
Want to see me from a new perspective?
User avatar
NeyNey
Somewhat familiar
 
Posts: 90
Joined: Sun Jun 04, 2006 11:00 pm

Re: The News Girl (Story in Progress) Updated 01/27/16

Postby GameOfPickles » Thu Feb 11, 2016 4:19 pm

I really liked the scene with Esther! Specifically, I liked the detail you gave where She likes to hold in the air for her meals until she can't help but burp it out.
User avatar
GameOfPickles
Somewhat familiar
 
Posts: 105
Joined: Sat Apr 26, 2014 3:38 am

Re: The News Girl (Story in Progress) Updated 01/27/16

Postby NeyNey » Wed Mar 23, 2016 2:43 am

Updated the file. Not a ton of new stuff, I've been thinking about where to take it lately and its been a bit slow.

I think I have some ideas now though! ;)
Last edited by NeyNey on Sun Jun 16, 2019 12:05 am, edited 1 time in total.
Want to see me from a new perspective?
User avatar
NeyNey
Somewhat familiar
 
Posts: 90
Joined: Sun Jun 04, 2006 11:00 pm

Re: The News Girl (Story in Progress) Updated 03/23/16

Postby GameOfPickles » Sat Mar 26, 2016 11:17 am

I still like the world you have built here. I'm interested in seeing what your ideas are. :D
User avatar
GameOfPickles
Somewhat familiar
 
Posts: 105
Joined: Sat Apr 26, 2014 3:38 am

Next

Return to Work to be shared!