Kink shaming

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Kink shaming

Postby Mecho » Tue Jun 04, 2019 9:24 am

It happens quite often that friends on the internet or IRL say to me that they want to keep the vore kink a secret because they are afraid of being judged. Well, I get that you don't want to put vore pics in your mothers face or things in that nature. But this is different. Like some of them are REALLY scared by the idea that someone by accident would find out.

The thing is, I know many people who isn't into vore who know about my interest. Not because I tell them (Or, some of the people I really trust) but more because I don't care if they figure it out. They talk open about the things they like, and so do I. Every single one of them that knows about the vore thing has either no f*cks to give, and the other half has been like "Hey, cool. Do you like this also? Have you seen this scen? Do you like this character?" But not a single one has ever give a negative reaction.

So, for the question. Have you ever been kink shamed IRL? How was your experienc? How did the said person find out your vore fashination? How did you respond/react? Feel free to share all them experiences.
Last edited by Mecho on Tue Jun 04, 2019 7:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Kink shaming

Postby linkever » Tue Jun 04, 2019 9:51 am

Mecho wrote:It happens quite often that friends on the internet or IRL say to me that they want to ceep the vore kink a secret because they are afraid of being judged. Well, I get that you don't want to put vore pics in your mothers face or things in that nature. But this is different. Like some of them are REALLY scared by the idea that someone by accident would find out.

The thing is, I know many people who isn't into vore who know about my interest. Not because I tell them (Or, some of the people I really trust) but more because I don't care if they figure it out. They talk open about the things they like, and so do I. Every single one of them that knows about the vore thing has either no f*cks to give, and the other half has been like "Hey, cool. Do you like this also? Have you seen this scen? Do you like this character?" But not a single one has ever give a negative reaction.

So, for the question. Have you ever been kink shamed IRL? How was your experienc? How did the said person find out your vore fashination? How did you respond/react? Feel free to share all them experiences.


Never intentionally be kink-shamed in rl. Seems like where I live, vore=cannibalism and those who like it are views as criminal or mentally deranged and in need to go to a mental hospital. When I hear any anything about vore in rl, the discussion is the same as in pedophilia snd the like.
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Re: Kink shaming

Postby Nekiame » Tue Jun 04, 2019 10:18 am

Well, I've not been kink-shamed IRL, at least not for vore. Potentionally for being a furry, but most people just seem to look at me weirdly for it and act like "You do you." but I would not want people I'm not Close to Learning of my vore interest, cause im worried they'll Think of me in the wrong way cause they missunderstand what vore is. I remember seeing a video where a talkshow brought up an vore animation made in SFM or what it's called using pony-models. People where shocked and disgusted, and I felt horrible cause it feels like it puts such a weird view on it the way it was portrayed.
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Re: Kink shaming

Postby Devourerita » Tue Jun 04, 2019 10:33 am

Nekiame wrote:I remember seeing a video where a talkshow brought up an vore animation made in SFM or what it's called using pony-models. People where shocked and disgusted, and I felt horrible cause it feels like it puts such a weird view on it the way it was portrayed.


I remember this, and it wasn't just a normal animation, it was anal vore, so even worst. And they didn't even censor the name of the animator, but they both showed it and pronounced it. I hope he didn't get all the classic disgusted reactions and insults, even if I don't like either mlp or anal vore
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Re: Kink shaming

Postby Mecho » Tue Jun 04, 2019 10:36 am

Devourerita wrote:
Nekiame wrote:I remember seeing a video where a talkshow brought up an vore animation made in SFM or what it's called using pony-models. People where shocked and disgusted, and I felt horrible cause it feels like it puts such a weird view on it the way it was portrayed.


I remember this, and it wasn't just a normal animation, it was anal vore, so even worst. And they didn't even censor the name of the animator, but they both showed it and pronounced it. I hope he didn't get all the classic disgusted reactions and insults, even if I don't like either mlp or anal vore


Link please? I Really want to see it >.>
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Re: Kink shaming

Postby again__again » Tue Jun 04, 2019 10:40 am

i have no real interest in sharing my kinks with anyone i know, unless its someone i'm already in a relationship with, and even then its ground i would tread lightly. I dont think i've ever been directly kink-shamed myself, but i have been in a few group chats with online friends, who have once or twice brought up the topic of vore, but solely as something to ridicule or be disgusted by. so that's definitely been annoying and made me even less likely to be open about my fetish with anyone.
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Re: Kink shaming

Postby ZeBourgeoisie » Tue Jun 04, 2019 10:50 am

I saw some of my own art in one of those "DeviantArt is fucking weird" videos before. And I wouldn't be surprised if there are more videos of that ilk that have my art featured in them. I don't care. Vore is weird to most people, hell, vore can feel weird to ME sometimes. Those 'cringe' videos, in my opinion, are just an evolution of the boyish inclination to gawk at icky things. Poking at a dead possum and poking into a fetish community you aren't part of are done for similar 'wow look at this it's GROSS LOL' reasons.

It's not a big deal.
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Re: Kink shaming

Postby Devourerita » Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:51 am

Mecho wrote:
Devourerita wrote:
Nekiame wrote:I remember seeing a video where a talkshow brought up an vore animation made in SFM or what it's called using pony-models. People where shocked and disgusted, and I felt horrible cause it feels like it puts such a weird view on it the way it was portrayed.


I remember this, and it wasn't just a normal animation, it was anal vore, so even worst. And they didn't even censor the name of the animator, but they both showed it and pronounced it. I hope he didn't get all the classic disgusted reactions and insults, even if I don't like either mlp or anal vore


Link please? I Really want to see it >.>


I was going to find it and send it there, but I can't seem to find it. I remember that the anal vore was done with the prey being shot out from a cannon. I'm also pretty sure the pred was a female blue pony with a wizard hat, but I don't remember much else
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Re: Kink shaming

Postby Nekiame » Tue Jun 04, 2019 12:05 pm

Mecho wrote:Link please? I Really want to see it >.>

https://aryion.com/g4/view/397875
This is the link to the animation itself, however I am unable to find the link to the talkshow that showed it. There is a link to it in the comments, but the video have been taken down, so unsure where one can find it now.
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Re: Kink shaming

Postby KnightleyPaine » Tue Jun 04, 2019 12:38 pm

IMHO:

1.) If it's a kink, it doesn't belong in public. Before starting to see yourself as potential victim for who you are because we are all persecuted little snowflakes, be considerate first. Parading around with an 'milf hunter' T-shirt might feel harmless and seem funny if you're a frat-boy and all your friends are frat-boys, but maybe save it for the late night frat party rather than walking through the park and cause an abrupt case of a 6 y/o needing an explanation from their grandmother. If they do not have to go out of their way to figure, or it wasn't an accident, you're the problem.

2.) It's okay to laugh, but only okay take it as far as you would with the person in question anyways. It's a kink, not some feature that your being is tied to like Communism to Marx, and that's assuming Marx can be reliably pegged as finding that to be his defining thing. Catch a buddy's porn mag because he forgot to hide it? Worth a chuckle. It's funny in a juvenile fashion but at the end of the day, what joke is he at the expense of? That he likes sex? Sacre Bleu hon hon, the extraordinariness of it all. Same with any kink which is intrinsically tied to such a topic, people just have them, it's something to be naturally ashamed about, it's just spotting someone's uncovered ass and pointing it out. Maybe your buddy will be close enough to give you a hard time without issue, just like you haven't been living down how you never seem to find the glasses you've literally just shifted up on your head, or maybe your sister will include it in crude jokes between you, no different from how you also remember that time she wet the bed in elementary school. But if it's taken further and they need to judge who you are based on it alone, that's more their personality issue than yours.

3.) Kinks are weird. That's just a thing. There's some ridicule to vore, and some ridicule to weird shit, but it usually tends to only come up if you weird up other people's space. DeviantArt? Wasn't really made with fetishes in mind, but it got cancered up by people, so fair game. Furries and bronies? Flooded their content extremely visibly everywhere in an unsolicited manner within a very short period, 100% fair game 100% of the time (though in many cases escalated needlessly due to drama). Shadman? Pokes around in public, bloody hilarious, fair game and the absolute mad lad thrives on it.

4.) Persistent and malicious individuals in your life that choose to directly judge you aside, the general public is more about the handling and the reaction. I feel the furry vs 4chan era is a good lesson here, it thrives off reactions, and if you tie it to your identity and choose it as the hill to die on like it matters that greatly, or manage to make it worse, that's what stirs the drama pot. Is it right? No, but I'm as capable of unmaking all malice off the face of the earth as the next guy. So yeah, persistent and malicious individuals exist, and there's nothing weird about worrying about giving them a sore spot to pick on if you as a person aren't good at confrontation or prefer avoiding it, that's both reasonable and practical.

5.) You get to be ridiculed to whatever level you choose to be ridiculous. If you rob a store, the police gets to treat you as a robber. If you go around dressed as a clown with a no-hawk, you get to be responded to as a person dressed as a clown with a no-hawk. If you have your dick out in a kindergarten, you get to be treated as inappropriate. Don't want to be treated as inappropriate? Don't act inappropriate, whether due to neglect or on purpose.

6.) It's still part of you though, and that's okay. People have kinks. It's like a pornhub search history, it's a small event when sighted compared to the humdrum of everyday life, but you always kind of knew it was there in the first place, and just get to momentarily chuckle that it featured a disproportionate amount of content involving obese dark-skinned chicks.


In short, you only need to be afraid about it as far as the situation would inconvenience you, but please do keep it appropriate, if not necessarily a secret (but keeping it one isn't wrong either, it's all up to you).


As for me personally, I've kept it separate from the rest of my public life. As I do with the fact that I've neglected the dishes yesterday as a person living alone. I'm mildly, but not deeply ashamed of either even though I don't have to be, but I don't require it to be a surface for potential discussion about either, and why would I bring either up anyways? Though if I ever did, I have at least some awareness of my level of exposure or how much effort has gone to obscuring it and the potential reactions it may garner and am proportionately ready to deal with it.


As a tangent, what I understand less is the actual presence of kink-shaming in here. It's gotten better I feel, but there's also that coy, cravenly passive aggressive kind. You know, 'why is it that so many people like what they do instead of what I prefer?'
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Re: Kink shaming

Postby Doku » Tue Jun 04, 2019 12:54 pm

Mecho wrote:So, for the question. Have you ever been kink shamed IRL? How was your experienc? How did the said person find out your vore fashination? How did you respond/react? Feel free to share all them experiences.


No, because I generally do not share this interest in a fetish with the physical world. It has no place there, and I keep my material to private entertainment, and as long as I have my way, that is all it will ever be. A private fascination in horrific drawn art and text based RP I keep to myself.

On this topic Generally:
KnightleyPaine wrote:1.) If it's a kink, it doesn't belong in public. Before starting to see yourself as potential victim for who you are because we are all persecuted little snowflakes, be considerate first. Parading around with an 'milf hunter' T-shirt might feel harmless and seem funny if you're a frat-boy and all your friends are frat-boys, but maybe save it for the late night frat party rather than walking through the park and cause an abrupt case of a 6 y/o needing an explanation from their grandmother. If they do not have to go out of their way to figure, or it wasn't an accident, you're the problem.


Agreed. I might phrase it slightly differently, but basically: This is a fetish, and one that cannot be performed safely in the real world, so it does not belong in daily life. It's not banter at the water cooler at the office. It's not fit for drinking games at the frat house. It's something that is conducted privately in private settings, and kept private. There are reasons that professional dominatrixes keep their clients private, and a lot of that is because fetishes are generally best kept private, and have no business in the public context. When one throws fetishes out into public contexts (Whether something innocuous like a foot fetish or something more extreme like auto-erotic asphyxiation), one is pushing that fetish into the faces of people who may have no context for it, and/or may be extremely uncomfortable with it. Their reaction, if negative, is 99% of the time not kink shaming. It's natural, normal and utterly unsurprising.

"Kink Shaming" as a term is something that we usually coin within open kink environments such as the chats here or F-List, where people are participating anonymously in RP/Art sharing of kink art generally acceptable to that community. The Shaming relates to attitudes that certain subcategories of the fetish or associated fetishes don't 'belong' and shaming members of an already shared community for not fitting one's personal tastes in that fetish.

That's very different from some random coworker getting a vore fetish thrust into their life when they're neither prepared nor comfortable with it. Their reaction is really not surprising, and should be expected. This is why one is best served to keep this to the vore community and leave it there.
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Re: Kink shaming

Postby EnderDracolich » Tue Jun 04, 2019 1:15 pm

Mecho wrote:So, for the question. Have you ever been kink shamed IRL? How was your experienc? How did the said person find out your vore fashination? How did you respond/react? Feel free to share all them experiences.


No, but I am terrified of being found out, because I know I would be.

I know, because one of my IRL best friends went on an hour long rant about Vore being as bad as pedophilia one day without me ever even bringing up the topic.
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Re: Kink shaming

Postby 157and493 » Tue Jun 04, 2019 6:27 pm

The problem with me is that I do not really care about what others think of me as long as it is the truth, and since I like vore so much I have it everywhere. I have a vore themed home screen on my phone, I use vore themed usernames for websites I visit (except this one because that would be too on the nose), etc. It would to someone wearing a “Game Of Thrones” shirt while walking down the street, you could easily tell they enjoyed game of thrones, the only difference is that vore has a sexual nature to it so it makes people feel uncomfortable often.

To answer the question though, I have never been directly shamed for liking vore, but people have politely asked me to be less open about it.
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Re: Kink shaming

Postby nutritious » Tue Jun 04, 2019 7:44 pm

I dont need peoples acknowledgement for what I am into. To quote the dude, judgements are just other peoples oppinion. There are cases out there that are borderline ridiculous with Quentin Tarantinos foot fetish which seems to get exploited once again in his last movie. Vore is niche and should stay niche. I would not appreciate vore getting somehow mainstream. The moment everybody seems to be cool with vore would feel like a big betrayal.
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Re: Kink shaming

Postby Tetrahedra » Tue Jun 04, 2019 8:17 pm

A friend of mine is always really open about her sex life, tells me about her weird sexual exploits, kinks, etc. and sometimes gets curious about what I'm into but god I'd rather die than anyone find out lmfao. I've been tempted, and sometimes I feel like I'd really like having someone who i could talk to about this kind of thing, but at the end of the day it just isn't worth it. My friend group has brought it up before and they usually just call it weird or fucked up and move on, and while I'm pretty confident they'd still be just as good of friends to me if they found out, it's still a concept that makes me nervous.
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Re: Kink shaming

Postby HoodMisaki » Tue Jun 04, 2019 8:36 pm

I don't let anyone know about my kink because when people bring it up in conversation or on videos, theirs always someone- or multiple people- who take it to the extreme, like making death threats. Same thing with how some people genuinely want all furrys or bronys to die because they are shamed so hard by memes. I already hate myself enough for being into it, i don't need the same hatred from other people. Sorry if my english is bad.
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Re: Kink shaming

Postby kagamichan » Tue Jun 04, 2019 8:40 pm

I had an experience like this, but not directed at me.

Basically, I was having a gathering with a group of friends, and one just randomly started ranting about furries and various fetishes, including vore. This person acted like anyone who could like such a thing is a truly deranged person. They didn't know I was into vore, but situations like this are one of the reasons I would choose not to tell anyone I didn't already know was cool with it, or why I choose to keep any vore works I make on this site only. ^^;

I don't really need people to know about it, although it does feel nice to have someone to talk to about these topics that normies would consider weird.
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Re: Kink shaming

Postby sweetladyamy » Tue Jun 04, 2019 9:01 pm

For liking trans girls, being attracted to their femininity and their beauty? Yeah, both indirectly and directly though much more of the former than the latter. For vore? No, not really...

It isn't like I keep it a secret, but I also don't parade it like Pride Colors (Pride Month should really just be Pride-all time but that's me being anti Neo Capitalist), so not everyone knows about my fetishes either (well, vore anyway-it is quite obvious that I am a lipstick fetishist).
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Re: Kink shaming

Postby cranberryknights1 » Wed Jun 05, 2019 12:30 am

I have never dealt with kink shaming but when I was younger and in school I was more shy or afraid of people finding out about my vore fantasies but now I don't really care too much. I mean I don't go around telling everyone cause I am a pretty private person and its not peoples business what turns me on or what my fantasies are but at the same time if people around me found out it would be a little embarrassing but not that big a deal for me either. Sexual interactions and fantasies are personal and intimate no matter what so its not like I would feel like a weirdo if people knew what I liked. As the OP mentioned I would not want my own mother or family to find out and that would be more embarrassing but honestly IRL if strangers judged me harshly for what I am turned on by I would just ignore them and if people I considered friends did that I would not be friends with them anymore. Just got no time for negative people who bring you down and no reason to keep that energy in my life. My GF knows everything about me and the feeling of acceptance and friendship I get from her made me realize how unimportant the opinion of strangers or even your peers are when it comes to them expressing judgment and hate towards you.
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Re: Kink shaming

Postby R_U_Snacksize » Wed Jun 05, 2019 4:18 am

When some wanna be alpha guys tried to "put me in my place" about not liking what they did I simply told them that if I liked it, it was not a kink nor fetish and was instead normal and healthy. If I did not like it then it was abnormal, unhealthy, unstable and disgusting. All said with a smile. That pretty much ended that conversation and since then none of them have said anything to me about what I like or don't like sexually. If you are interested in what they like but I don't it is they like getting completely trashed and then having drunk sex while I do not get drunk and want to actually remember and enjoy activities. Never let anyone put you down for what you like or don't like.
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