Unable to enjoy own content and commissions

[PyrZero72]

As I am sure many people can attest to, it can often be difficult to find vore content that appeals to your personal tastes, so I did what everyone told me to do and created my own content, however despite creating the exact content that I wanted to see I was unable to “enjoy” if you know what I mean.
At first I figured the reason I was unable to enjoy this content was precisely because I was the one who created it, the only way I could rationalize it might be to compare it to how game developers hate playing their own games since they have spent so much time developing them that they are sick of them by the time they are completed.

Either way I thought a solution to this problem would be to commission artists to draw the scenarios I want to see for me, but I have commissioned several artists at this point and while I absolutely love and respect the art they have created for me, I am not able to get turned on by it no matter how hard I try.

Does anyone know how to solve this problem because it is really starting to frustrate me.

[cassie]

Yeah absolutely, I get the same feeling sometimes. I feel a bit guilty about it thinking that I should be enjoying my own work. Am I not drawing exactly what I want to see?

My guess is that, if I'm drawing something myself, then I am not being surprised by it.

I believe that uncertainty is an important part of the creative process. Perhaps I am supposed to struggle. The best I can do is experiment more. Have you tried experimenting?

[Cardi]

This is an incredibly interesting subject, let me share my thoughts: I had a somewhat similar experience.

I've always drawn my porn and I always enjoyed it very much. The only exception to this is my latest work: https://aryion.com/g4/view/873174 .

"It doesn't make any sense, I should be super turned on by it! It meets all my standards!" I thought to myself, so I came up with three theories about why I can't enjoy it even though it should be perfect for me.

1) It's just a bad drawing
This is the first thing I thought of, but it can't be, as I've done worst drawings in the past, but I still enjoyed them.

2) I worked too much on it and I can't enjoy it without thinking about the effort it took
Neither can this be the case, as I have put much more effort into other artwork than I have done in the past and enjoyed those.

3) The drawing was specifically made for being posted online
I think that this is the most likely out of the three. You need to know that the only difference between this artwork and the others I did in the past is that I never shared my work before. It was all just for my pleasure. I think knowing that people will see, therefore judge, my work doesn't allow me to enjoy it.

I will have to learn to allow myself to do and enjoy what I like even if people will judge me. I'll have to overcome this fear and I hope you can somewhat relate to this.

(Also, English isn't my first language, so I hope you get the point of what I said)

[rugli]

Yeah absolutely, I get the same feeling sometimes. I feel a bit guilty about it thinking that I should be enjoying my own work. Am I not drawing exactly what I want to see?

My guess is that, if I'm drawing something myself, then[b] I am not being surprised by it.[/b]

I believe that uncertainty is an important part of the creative process. Perhaps I am supposed to struggle. The best I can do is experiment more. Have you tried experimenting?

The bold part is the biggest reason why I haven't bothered with creating much if anything myself.

[Rat_Guy]

The way most of my writing comes to me is that I come up with scenarios based on the pictures that I keep in my library, pictures made by other artists. These scenarios can become pretty intricate, and I feel like the best thing to do is write them down, so I do, but I find that the actual finished story doesn't appeal to me in the same way that the imagined scenario did. This is fine for me though, the imagined scenario still lives in my head and the appeal doesn't diminish, and I like writing for entirely different reasons. So my answer is yes: my own content does not excite me, but also, this isn't a problem for me, so I unfortunately don't have any solutions for you. I might suggest maybe next time you get a commission include fewer details in your description to the artist, give them room to put their own spin on the project, maybe what you really want is to be surprised?

[Taumos]

This is an incredibly interesting subject, let me share my thoughts: I had a somewhat similar experience.

I've always drawn my porn and I always enjoyed it very much. The only exception to this is my latest work: https://aryion.com/g4/view/873174 .

"It doesn't make any sense, I should be super turned on by it! It meets all my standards!" I thought to myself, so I came up with three theories about why I can't enjoy it even though it should be perfect for me.

1) It's just a bad drawing
This is the first thing I thought of, but it can't be, as I've done worst drawings in the past, but I still enjoyed them.

2) I worked too much on it and I can't enjoy it without thinking about the effort it took
Neither can this be the case, as I have put much more effort into other artwork than I have done in the past and enjoyed those.

3) The drawing was specifically made for being posted online
I think that this is the most likely out of the three. You need to know that the only difference between this artwork and the others I did in the past is that I never shared my work before. It was all just for my pleasure. I think knowing that people will see, therefore judge, my work doesn't allow me to enjoy it.

I will have to learn to allow myself to do and enjoy what I like even if people will judge me. I'll have to overcome this fear and I hope you can somewhat relate to this.

(Also, English isn't my first language, so I hope you get the point of what I said)

Absolutely this is it. Most of what Ive drawn personally so far was stuff I felt like drawing, and I love those pictures as flawed as they might be. Its not so much the same with requests or anything I exclusively made for others, even if I would normally like it.

[MasterMage13]

I'm the same way. I don't... "use"... my own writing. In fact after I click save for the last time and close the file and upload it, I pretty much never read it again. Which goes for any fiction I write, not just this stuff. I think if I was an actor, I would be one of those actors who couldn't watch his own movies. Or if I wrote screenplays I wouldn't go see the play or movie. If I were to write a sequel to something, I'd go back and re-read what I had written before for consistency, but other than that, I don't read my own work after it's published. It's like a task has been completed and I don't want to think about it anymore. Or, I don't want to re-read something that has been published and then think about how I wish I had done it differently; which I do do anyway, I'm always second guessing myself.

As far as this kind of work goes, I think, I look at my own work differently than I do the work of others. When I am working on and reading over and editing my own stuff I have to look at it in a more technical way. How's the grammar, how's the consistency, re-read this over and over and make sure it makes sense, re-write it so that it sounds better, cut out this run-on or fragment, add more detail, take away some detail etc. It's a different experience than consuming someone else's content.

That's not to say that I don't get anything out of writing my own stories. I do. I find that the act of coming up with and writing down the story is erotic, it is a turn on, I try to think, if it's something that I am enjoying then someone else will enjoy it too. But re-reading it afterwards doesn't do much for me.

[TeaTiffs]

That's basically what happens to me when I make vore content. I've been told by lots of friends and fans that I make some top notch content, but it does literally nothing for me, even if most of my content is specifically catered to me. I already know other people will enjoy it, but it just feels weird I don't feel the same way about my own art. Maybe it's specifically because I made it, so I just see it in a different way.

[ReigntheWeremunk]

While I like a lot of vore content on here, i felt the same way, like right now i'm on a chip and dale binge and i never seen them, at least as preds, here so i decided to draw some myself so, i guess do it yourself, at least if you don't have friends/money for someone to make it for you

[DevourerOfLolis]

Question, and I understand if you don't want to answer because it's too personal. But how often to you "enjoy" yourself? Once a day? A week?

[TheKawaiiCommie]

I regard my own works mostly as measures of my skill progression, but there are a few I like to re-read from time to time. Definitely prefer being surprised by others' works.

[corna89]

sounds like a sensitivity/exposure problem.
When I first got into porn, I could just see a naked girl and that was enough.....after 15 years me tastes have definitely gotten more niche and extreme....it's like a drug addiction....the more you use, the more you want.

I'd reccomend taking a break, like for a few months

[Mecho]

Ah yes. I can relate with you. Being desensitized is truly a thing where your brain needs more to get something out from it.
I draw vore...Like, a LOT. Hours and hours of every week and can feel this. I was way more vorny/horny before being a creator. Still can get a kick out of my own drawings
at times. But it's a rare thing nowadays. It's more about drawing in general when you focus on art things like perspectives, details, anatomy and such more then "Oh fuck. Sexy!"
Art from other artists is way more fun for me

Why you don't feel the enjoyment of commissioned art is impossible to know and maybe you just have a phase of overal low sex drive?

Also. It's easy to push one self and make assumption that something should be in a certain way, or that we should act/do certain things.
Sometimes it's just nice to let it go and accept it. Go with something like "Oh, i'm not feeling horny right now. That's okey" And do something else.

When we push ourself our brain can go into this sort of prestation mood and being horny can suddenly feel like an obligation. Something we NEED to be.
That in itself can make the sex drive go away even more and you have a vicious cirble of not horny ---> I SHOULD be horny ---> Less horny ---> I should do better!

[ReigntheWeremunk]

i get a kick out of my own drawings, though others made, is better for me

[TW]

Having been around... for a long time. I can say that liking your own work comes down to mindset. Are you making something to fulfill your fantasy? Then it should bring you enjoyment. While you may know what is going to happen, it does come with your brain centers firing off that its pleasurable. While some of my stuff doesn't have the same affect anymore, (over exposure is a thing) I still enjoy it and find enjoyment on it.

As for commissions, not all of them float my boat. However I do enjoy writing stories for others and the pay is helpful (we all have bills). So if you don't find enjoyment in all of your commissions, that is pretty common.

As some mentioned, you can take some time off, let your brain cool and then come back. The effect will be quite interesting.

[skorm]

000

[RedInstead]

As I am sure many people can attest to, it can often be difficult to find vore content that appeals to your personal tastes, so I did what everyone told me to do and created my own content, however despite creating the exact content that I wanted to see I was unable to “enjoy” if you know what I mean.
At first I figured the reason I was unable to enjoy this content was precisely because I was the one who created it, the only way I could rationalize it might be to compare it to how game developers hate playing their own games since they have spent so much time developing them that they are sick of them by the time they are completed.

Either way I thought a solution to this problem would be to commission artists to draw the scenarios I want to see for me, but I have commissioned several artists at this point and while I absolutely love and respect the art they have created for me, I am not able to get turned on by it no matter how hard I try.

Does anyone know how to solve this problem because it is really starting to frustrate me.

I mean for me it's kind of like the punchline to your own joke... It's a whole lot harder to get the same enjoyment out of it when you can explain what makes it work

Give it some time, walk away from it a bit, come back and it might hit you over the head the way you wanted it to

[alockwood1]

Depends on the day of the week.

To be honest, I tend to take out what some might call the "sexy" parts because, either I feel that describing the swallowing process doesn't add to the story, or because it triggers my own "excitement" and thus I can't write anyways..... perhaps both. Of course, might also because I'm thinking about how to rate the content over on other sites, and don't want to have to rate it really high.

[tfwnogiantgf]

This is somewhat related to the points of expectations and overexposure that some people brought up, but

One thing I've learned in writing classes is, "the first draft of a story is always the furthest from the image in your head". Oftentimes when people first have an idea for a story (vorey or otherwise), it seems really exciting.. But then when you put it on paper and figure out the details, it's just impossible to live up to that mental image the author built. Oftentimes, when actually putting it on paper, they realize there were plot holes or gaps they didn't realize when building the story in their brain.

At that point, the usual advice other writers give is to write a second draft and improve on it, and every draft will get closer to the mental image. Until the author can accept it's "good enough".

I'm not sure the same can apply to other forms of creativity, but sometimes writing by the "seat of my pants", with no plan or outline, leads to me enjoying the process - even if the end result might be a little messy. Maybe quick freehand doodles would be the equivalent?

[TETRO]

I don't tend to have this problem. In fact, I tend to work with more passion on my writing when I'm "excited" by it. Although, sometimes it can become a distraction from actually getting the writing done. I do occasionally go back to certain things I made a long time ago and still get some enjoyment out of them, especially if I've forgotten a lot about what I made.