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Ramblings on roleplay etiquette

Posted by MaxTwenty 5 years ago


Right, so. It's not like I go looking very often and none of these things bug me to the point of like "GAWD why can't people just think I mean srsly" or anything like that. Still, there are a handful of things I've wondered about for a very long time now that I'd really like some kind of feedback on. That said, I've gotten plenty of instilled and reactive feedback already, so today we'll do something a little different for a blog; I'll ramble about my points first and *then* you can respond. (It's funny because this is actually the intended purpose see what I did there)

Firstly, sliders and pref lists. They're there to create a quick glimpse of what a player is into or a character is capable of. I understand, absolutely, the frustration that comes from someone reading the quick glimpse or even foregoing that entirely and then jumping to "Hi, how are you, can we do a ub roleplay please" with varying grammar quality and politeness. Where I'd like to put the breakpoint is on lines in profiles that 'punish' someone for jumping to the sliders before reading the rest of the profile. These can vary in severity, most of them just being goofs, but setting the few caustic examples aside, why exactly are you surprised or upset when people look at the quick guide before deciding to invest time in reading the profile? It's a challenge of all writing to get people to read it in the first place, and then meet or exceed expectations. With this blog, for example, I'm relying on the title, my name, the first few lines, and your current state (hopefully bored and with free time) to get you to read. Not everyone who sees it is going to spend their limited time clicking and reading. Some people might even avoid it based on any or all of those aspects. A profile is not immune to this necessary discrimination. A slider section is a quick and easy way to see if you're going to be compatible with someone kink-wise in a roleplay on a fetish chat. It's an advertisement. Whether you like the comparison or not, it's analogous the physical assets on a body. If someone stares at boobs first, say, in a place made for sexual bonds rather than intellectual, complaining about it seems a tad misplaced.

For that matter, the image used in a profile is also there - and you know it's there - to flaunt and attract on a purely seductive level. Intellectual attraction doesn't enter into it, meaning some people will act without the restraint that comes from intellectual appreciation. I'm not going to get into a rant here about people 'borrowing' images. Firstly, I don't have anything particularly negative to say about it. Secondly, it's the internet, I can't stop it and trying to would be counterproductive. But you *know* when you're putting up a particularly sexy image that you're going to attract more people, not all of whom are going to be interested in your mind. By making a comparison to meatspace in the above paragraph, we're heading into uncomfortable territory now, aren't we? No, I'm not excusing them for looking at the image and sliders only before approaching, but this is something that's going to happen. Flaunting grabs attention. Not all attention is desirable. This is immutable truth, applicable to any *kind* of flaunting, not just erotic; although that happens to be one of the most telling and effective. I don't claim to have a solution for that, as it would be forming one solution to 'fix' the entire world, but seriously. Don't tell me it wasn't expected.

I've seen this across various sites, not just here, F-list being one of the more major. No, I'm not complaining here about F-list, or 'everywhere'. If there's a complaint it's about here, but it seems to be more widespread than just coming from any one place. (You'll notice I'm leaving out F-list specific complaints like "Why is saying hi a sin" and such.) So let's tie it all together in a nice little bow with discussion questions:

-Why have profiles become acceptable places (not rules-wise, but culture-wise) to issue blanket statements to anyone reading, particularly "Fuck off if you didn't read" comments?
-Why do people expect their (potentially sprawling) profiles to be read by people in a fetish chat before any kind of kink compatibility is established?
-Bonus question: If you are someone who looks at the image and sliders, skips the profile text, and approaches, I'm declaring a safe zone in the comments section of this blog, and for that matter feel free to PM instead if you don't want to reveal yourself - Why?
Comment on Ramblings on roleplay etiquette


Posted by blooberbloob 5 years ago Report

The person's profile may be more detailed, and may specifically say "Do not just say hi and expect me to just rp" or something. I received a pm a month or two ago and the person was rping, and I did not know they were until after a while. I do not just rp. I have to be in the mood to rp. I think it's just the matter if info being missed when no one looks at the rest of the profile.

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Posted by Houyo 5 years ago Report

On the one hand, it can be annoying and people probably get fed up with annoying people. But then again going off and doing something annoying yourself by making a hostile profile doesn't really solve the issue.

Some people are just lame and you can't always save everybody.

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