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A little something (Rant and personal feelings)

Posted by MinunChaos73 6 years ago


Yeah, in regards to the last blog thing, I have yet to really write. I have a good story or two in mind but honestly, I been feeling a little down as of late. For those that don't want to hear this sort of thing, go ahead and leave if you wish.

Honestly, at this point in my life, I just hate myself. I wish to be more social with others only to find myself being drawn away by doubt regardless and my core reason for this is that I often feel disconnected with the world, having no wifi, no job, having hardly any contact with anyone does make it quite hard to have interests that are up to date nor can I purchase games or watch what everyone is watching and whatnot. It just deeply impacts anyone I would believe, not sure. Maybe some people are better than me and all. Aside from that excuse, I sometimes wonder if I really do have friends, ones made out of pity or because they had to. Well, aside from a few buddies I met online, I just feel like a ghost sometimes.

Now, I assure anyone that reads this that I do not intend to harm myself due to these conflicting feelings I have. It is my problem and as my belief, I will try to fix it one way or another. Aside from the wish of getting a job, getting a place of my own and whatnot, I wish to pursue becoming an artist too. I mean, I have a drawing kit that I bought two years ago and some sketch pencils but there is no space for me to do begin sketching and working. Although, I am heavily inspired by some of the wonderful artists I have found and at least got to know so hopefully that dream will still be there.

Anyway, I feel a little better for getting this sort of thing off my chest and hopefully I will finally get out of this phase of doubt and uncertainty soon. And to those that I talk to sometimes, I will try better to come and talk to you more often. I mean, I feel bad enough that I have like 30+ on Skype and don't talk to anyone there and on the chat, I shall try there too.
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