I don't know what I need, I'm constantly depressed/hating my work, my interest is dying..fuck.
I'm in tears, I don't know anymore..

But I'm still here, hating most of what I've been drawing.

After thinking on it more today, I realize I still heavily dislike coloring. Learning it, doing it, watching others do it, it just truly doesn't excite me and is ruining my love of drawing. The lines though, that's what gets my heart pumping and rejuvenates me. It's what I pay attention to in a drawing and I think I'll just primarily be doing monochromatic works from now on.

Still no focus and a severe lack of interest with art.
Is it the apartment? My position when drawing? Gah..that time of the month for me.

Just wanted to update on my comic idea with all of the drafts of the main characters thus far. I'll post more on the story and final drafts soon.
The main characters:
From left to right(Cassius/Julius/Mateo'/Balanos)
Zodomedrig cens.jpg
The goddesses:
Goddess of the sea official.jpg
Goddess of the sea:
(Froja)
99_Fangs_goddess_drafts2.jpg
Main villain:
(Zodomedrig)
Illustration2.jpg

Another thing contributing to my disinterest with vore lately could be a lack of cute male preds. I barely have any in my gallery, and I need to change that.
So for the future, I may do some vore with these select characters:
307698.jpg
tumblr_okvp38tXmw1tajwofo1_540.gif
ggxrd-Sin.png
315506.jpg
Which cute male pred would ya'll like to see?

What the fuck am I doing?
Why am I comparing myself/trying to be like these vore artsits? NONE of them are how I want my style to become, I know this. I know my real aspirations and goals.
I need to remember what truly got ME excited to draw, only then can I see this as not a competition but for my own benefit.
Takayuki Takeya:
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/cd/00/2b/cd002bcb56857ba0a693c1a01c5fcfaf.jpg
Philippe Druillet:
http://illustratorslounge.com/wp-content/uploads/philippe-druillet-02.png
Moebius:
http://www.williamstout.com/news/journal/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Moebius29.jpg
Yoshitaka Amano:
...
[ Continued ... ]

So how do ya'll keep composed and focused on illustrations? My mind is always racing to do something new and losing interest very fast, especially if it revolves around sitting at this desk drawing. Since I STILL just don't enjoy coloring, once I get past the inking phase, my brain just loathes the coloring phase and calls it quits, ready to jump to the next thing. How do ya'll do it?

I think on a whole, I just need guidance with my art. I’ve been debating on going back to school or at least moving to an area that has more artists/ art jobs to help find that guidance.

I’d love to become a professional in Japan (hell it would give me a reason to actually start using these books to learn Japanese), but maybe that’s just wishful thinking.

So, let’s say I started livestreaming my doodling sessions again..

would any of ya’ll be interested?