3 out of 5 stars

I can't say this is my best stay ever, considering the stink of the monster's belly in which I'm currently digesting. But, really, you can't beat the price. This is the perfec t vacation spot for lovers on a budget, for sure.

The decor could be a little more upscale as well. The photos on the website definitely fudge a few things. What they don't fudge, though, is the size and taste of the locals' breasts. Yes, they really do lactate moonshine.

The ladies who run this cozy little bed and breakfast put a lot of work into it, but sadly, you won't be seeing the inside of their bellies. No, you'll be digested for millenia by the eldritch being resting beneath the boards of their cozy little inn, which definitely knocks off a star in my book. And here I thought I'd be witnessing the internal distillery first hand.

Still, if you're looking for some sexy hicks to get cozy with before you're chewed up by the many mouths of G'Thal , you're heading to the right place--but buyer beware to the rest of you.