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[a horse girl's adventure]
willing vore, willing digestion
Late at night, Amber had decided to sneak out in order to visit her favorite horse Dash in the local stable. She'd been crying in the stable with the large, black, stallion, stroking the horse's neck. This was the last night she'd have with Dash, before moving away to the city where her father had gotten a new job.
She didn't want to go away, but what choice did she have? She'd spend the night crying, petting the black horse and feeding

A Horsegirl's Adventure

Uploaded: 9 months ago

Owner: furrster090

Tags: Oral Vore Horse M/F Horse Vore Willing Pred Human Prey Horse Pred melting digestion Implied Absorption melty digestion Willing prey willing digestion melty-gooey digestion

Amber doesn't want to leave her horse, luckily the stalion seems to have a plan that suits both of them.
Featuring willing vore and willing digestion
 

crankzzz - 1 month ago

What a hidden gem.

MarcDioceco - 8 months ago

At least she is happy with her fate ^^

PhantomWolf - 9 months ago

AH! I see well then the lack of world building can be sacrificed if that's your intention. It's not something I'd do but to each their own. I still recommend describing the prey a bit more, helps the reader better enjoy the story. Other than that, you're welcome! Keep working on your potential!

furrster090 - 9 months ago

Heya! First off, thank you so much for your support, it's truly appreciated. To clear up a bit, there is a specific reason why I didn't really go into detail too much about the plot or what Amber looks like; I intend quick bites to be quicker stories, more to the point with the vore and less focus on the world it's in.

I'm still trying to find my way with this, and writing in general, so again your thoughts are greatly appreciated.

PhantomWolf - 9 months ago

First, you have potential, you truly do. Vast potential! I did enjoy this story, it was cute and endearing. I've long thought horses were underused preds, and I'm happy you're showing them some appreciation ^_^ You had a few spelling hiccups; ('teethe' instead of 'teeth' and 'feat' instead of 'feet') there were some other grammar and spelling hiccups as well. I recommend you look into the free version of Grammarly, it'll be a big help. You could have done a bit more emphasis on world-building. For example; in the setting, it's obvious you keep a horse in a horse stable but is the stable at a farm? At the county fair? etc. Also "moving to the city" but where are they now? You could've also taken some time to describe what Amber looks like. All we know about her is that she's a girl who loves her horse. Is she tall? Is she short? Is she skinny? Is she Rubenesque? Is she buxom? Is she slender? What clothing is she wearing? What's her race/ethnicity? Including her hair color, eye color, etc. Please take this with a grain of salt, I tried to my tone polite and optimistic :). Like I said you have potential, so keep doing what you're doing. *Thumbs up*

[One night stand]
Oral, willing vore, digestion, masturbation
“c’mon, won’t you join us?” Said Rebecca to her sister Abigail, “alright, why not?” Abigail sheepishly replies. The three bunny sisters, Rebecca, Abigail and Jessica had spend the night out and met up with a handsome looking fox, who invited them over to his house. Abigail, being a bit of a shy and introverted, already wasn’t too keen going out, let alone go to a strangers house. Convinced by

One-night Stand

Uploaded: 9 months ago

Owner: furrster090

Tags: Oral Vore Snake Digestion Bunny M/F writing Masturbation Head First Snake Vore Snake Pred masturbating melting digestion melty digestion Willing prey willing digestion masturbating prey

Rebecca, Abigail and Jessica hook up with a fox after a night out. While Rebecca, Jessica and the fox head to the bedroom, Abigail has her own fun with the fox's snake.
Featuring willing vore and willing digestion

Read about Rebecca’s story here: https://aryion.com/g4/view/659663
Read about Jessica’s story here: https://aryion.com/g4/view/660613 

Bitter - 6 months ago

Snake preds, willing prey, and soft digestion are a winning combination. I don't have much to add over NightRoller's comment, so just take some words of encouragement that I look forward to what you submit in the future.

NightRoller - 9 months ago

Glad to be of assistance (and glad the assistance is helpful for you!), I'll check out both of those and PM you some of the more frequent errors I find in them.
For sure, the more solid the writing, the easier it is for a reader to enjoy a piece, and the only way you can improve quickly is by reading a lot and writing a lot (and seeking feedback can boost that improvement rate as being watchful for some errors becomes second nature)!

furrster090 - 9 months ago

Heya! Thanks for the long and detailed review! I'm indeed a starting writer and I have to say I can see where you're coming from. This is the second piece I ever wrote, so it's still rough around the edges. I've been trying to get better at spending time and effort on both the grammar and the sentencing; I'm not nearly there yet but I'd like to ask you to read either my latest "horse girl's Adventure", or "midnight walk at the beach" in hopes of showing some contrast of developments I've made based on self reflection.

I'm not sure of you'd be willing to, but if you could send me the nitpicks in a PM I'd really appreciate it so I know more specifically where to improve in the way of grammar and flow of story, but this is already a huge help!

NightRoller - 9 months ago

Hmm...
Besides the interesting choice of being written in the present tense rather than the past tense (which tends to be a choice of those with less experience writing, most of the time), this story has quite a few grammatical errors, such as runon sentences, missed capitalization, using apostrophes in the incorrect places, and possibly others I didn't notice.
The good content (the *meat* of the story) was decent and tended to have fewer errors, I noticed. However, the infodump at the start of the story wasn't very smooth and felt like a slog. I can say from experience, you want your story to be as decent in the non-vore parts as you can so that those who give the non-vore parts a chance to read can enjoy spending their time doing so.
I'm certainly not going to be nitpicking anything because this is fantasy, but a significant detail I noticed was that Abigail "saw" a "thin, clear liquid", which shouldn't be possible considering the liquid is *clear*. Even if it's not dark inside the snake, this really took me out of the immersion of the story. Another detail: snakes don't "unhinge" their jaws, so their jaws are never out of place (look it up, it's actually quite fascinating).

Lastly, as a fellow writer, I want to leave you with a couple of the stories I have written with snake vore (both are mostly or completely grammatically correct and lacking content errors): "Painful Pleasure" (slightly old, painful digestion but willing) and "Almost... Survived (Eaten in the Everglades)" (this one's good enough I occasionally use it for fantasizing myself). Neither is part of a series, so it's easy to jump into either.