My first story in english. I'm sorry for every bad mistake, still I asked for help to correct it but everyone could feel free to show me my mistakes.
This story is about Anna and Crisis but here is Anna the protagonist. ^-^
I'll list some corrections here then,
No wait.... that'll be too rude and make me look like a sonofa bee-hatch <.< >.>
I could email you with my notes?
You may list it here, however I think it wouldn't be enough room. ^-^
You could email me, it is just a lot of years ago, since I had my school english. Maybe you could explain me, what a sonofa bee-hatch is...
Maybe next stories could be in better english.
Anyway, thanks. :-)
hmm, I actually study english in college/university/WHAT EVER it's called over there >:3
sonofa bee-hatch is my way of saying so of a bitch without actually typing that ;D
I'll list it tomorrow, gotta go in 5 mins, kay?
I loved it a lot ! You did a great job on capturing Anna and Crisis's character.
Dumb human.. he quite asked for it XD
Thank you a lot for writting this ! ;)
kay, here's the list with my corrections then n.n got a minute? I'll do this over several days, why will become clear as you see the length of this post XDDDD
first line: live -> life, less should be little and remove the comma after little, cigaret is with 1 t last time I checked
"Crisis giggles and sprays water from the nearby river on anna"
next line, have should be has, no comma for to find, "wherever anna tries to hide", possibilities (no y), peacEfull, for her self.
You figure the point out that you destroyed my WONDERFUL dream? <- no english, better english, and what I think you're trying to say: "You do understand that you ruined my WONDERFULL dream?"
next: move should be moved, "just so that you can find me" would be better.
"Anna try all to throw an angry look on Crisis "<- "Anna tries to throw Crisis an angry look, but...." "is ignoring..." also, it might be wise to replace she by Crisis
"Crisis waits some seconds before turning around and starts to go, off course thinking that Anna would follow her"
she just want only ONE cigarette. <- "all she wants is just ONE cigaret"
"Her mood moves to an angry state as she just has to think about the little TV Crisis has eaten last time."
"Anna moves away to avoid Crisis. Whatever she will have found, it doesn
blah, I'll email it to you, since I see the board didn't even got two thirds of my post o.O
email please? ^^;;;
edit: I just write here, not to make to much comments. Can you write me a PM? It would be easier than talk in the commentarea.
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Posted by Anonymous 19 years ago Report
I'll list some corrections here then, No wait.... that'll be too rude and make me look like a sonofa bee-hatch <.< >.> I could email you with my notes?
Posted by Anonymous 19 years ago Report
second note, I do like the story though ^.^ quite funny
Posted by Veridicus 19 years ago Report
You may list it here, however I think it wouldn't be enough room. ^-^ You could email me, it is just a lot of years ago, since I had my school english. Maybe you could explain me, what a sonofa bee-hatch is... Maybe next stories could be in better english. Anyway, thanks. :-)
Posted by Anonymous 19 years ago Report
hmm, I actually study english in college/university/WHAT EVER it's called over there >:3 sonofa bee-hatch is my way of saying so of a bitch without actually typing that ;D I'll list it tomorrow, gotta go in 5 mins, kay?
Posted by Eidolon 19 years ago Report
...'M very sorry about kinda dropping the ball on this. u.u
Posted by Karbo 19 years ago Report
I loved it a lot ! You did a great job on capturing Anna and Crisis's character. Dumb human.. he quite asked for it XD Thank you a lot for writting this ! ;)
Posted by Anonymous 19 years ago Report
kay, here's the list with my corrections then n.n got a minute? I'll do this over several days, why will become clear as you see the length of this post XDDDD first line: live -> life, less should be little and remove the comma after little, cigaret is with 1 t last time I checked "Crisis giggles and sprays water from the nearby river on anna" next line, have should be has, no comma for to find, "wherever anna tries to hide", possibilities (no y), peacEfull, for her self. You figure the point out that you destroyed my WONDERFUL dream? <- no english, better english, and what I think you're trying to say: "You do understand that you ruined my WONDERFULL dream?" next: move should be moved, "just so that you can find me" would be better. "Anna try all to throw an angry look on Crisis "<- "Anna tries to throw Crisis an angry look, but...." "is ignoring..." also, it might be wise to replace she by Crisis "Crisis waits some seconds before turning around and starts to go, off course thinking that Anna would follow her" she just want only ONE cigarette. <- "all she wants is just ONE cigaret" "Her mood moves to an angry state as she just has to think about the little TV Crisis has eaten last time." "Anna moves away to avoid Crisis. Whatever she will have found, it doesn
Posted by Anonymous 19 years ago Report
blah, I'll email it to you, since I see the board didn't even got two thirds of my post o.O email please? ^^;;; edit: I just write here, not to make to much comments. Can you write me a PM? It would be easier than talk in the commentarea.
Posted by Zoekin 19 years ago Report
I liked this story a lot! It's always great to see more of Anna. She's one of my favourite Naga. Very well done! Thanks for sharing.