Steaking a Claim
by Misterebony
For Star_Sage
 
Zana Arcuna was busy as usual. Her simple burger joint had expanded to being a full fledged steakhouse, and she served everything from classic burgers to fancy steaks of all kinds, even seafood and salads! But for the beautiful Lioness, that meant a lot more work and a lot less social time. Already, her boyfriend Xell had left her, and her massive increase in funds was sparked by a decrease in friends.
 
But no matter for her. She had her fellow chefs, and that was plenty for her. Besides, her special... talent... did make any kind of long lasting relationship somewhat harder. No matter anyway, Xell was long gone, and she had a lot of work to do.
 
At least, she THOUGHT he was goen from her life.
 
****************
 
In truth, the handsome grey wolf never forgot about Zana. His love for her only grew, but when he saw how big and successful she was getting, he stepped aside so he would not inteerfere. He was a wreck ever since he left her, and was determined to get back into her life.
 
Tonight would be the night he would. He had bought her a lovely necklace, and a couiple tickets to a music show in town, and he was determined to have her back in his life.
 
He smiled as he saw the steakhopuse, much larger than the old hamburger joint used to be, and jam packed as always. He sighed as he realized he might not get to see her. But he was hoping chance might be kind today.
 
Carefully, he snuck towards the back entrance, his gifts in hand. he chuckled some, hoping Zana would have him again, rekindling their old relationship. But he would never know unless he tried.
 
But as he opened the door into the rear kitchens, he was disspointed to find it empty. it was nothing knew, cinsidering how the meat was acquired in the resturaunt.
 
Not like the typical store bought meat either. Most of it was actually furries who got turned into food. Xell himself had been a burger for Zana many times, each time a wonderful experience... other than the first part, which was a little disorienting. There were several ways she did the transformation too, including a steam roller to roll out furry dough and a press for squishing them flat.
 
But her favorite was a toonsmack hammer. It was easily able to flatten things into patties or material for cakes. But it could also change shape with the right settings. Zana and Xell used it on several occasions for private use, but it was mostly used for the resturaunt. It was suprising she had not seen it though... maybe she gave it up.No matter, he was not here to be food or to make it. he was here to ask Zana back. Xell set the necklace on the table with a card he picked out. He chuckleld some, hoping it would work to bruing her back into his life. Carefully he backed up to see it.
 
But as he did, he bumped into a rack behind him. he then felt a throbbing pain. He looked down to see tghat a mallet had hit his foot. Thankfuly it was not the toonsmack hammer, but it still hurt!
 
"Dmanit!" he said. "I just try to get back in my girl's life... and I got a hammer falling on my foot like it is a steak!"
 
Xellfelt it some... but then felt something else. Something he felt before. Somethat that started as the hammer hanging above himcame loose.
 
THe toonsmack. In a flash, he was flattened right then and there, but not into aburger patty. When the hammer fell of of Xell, the form that remained looked something like a large strip steak Xell grumbled as he realized what happened.
 
"Well... at least Zana will see my gift, I hope..." He sighs, waiting for Zana to come. Sadly, it is not her who shows up first.
 
"Damnit... why do all the romantic couples show up on the same day! Another order for a strip steak special!" THe fur says. it is clearly another lioness, but definately not Zana. As she leans down and picks Xell up, he tries to speak. But no luuck thwere, all he can do is watch! He screams in his mind that this cannot be happening, but yet it is. But what happens next is even worse.
 
"What's this?" The chef says, eyeing the present and card. "Why... it's marked, for my lioness! Awwww.... someone loves me!" Xell couldn't believe it as he fell into a frying pan! "But... who is my secret admirer?" She opened the card and went wide eyed. "Why.... it's Zana's old boyfriend! WHo would have thought she had the hots for me!" She dqanced about the kitchen as she put on the necklace. "I feel inspired! THis will be the best steak dinner ever!"
 
Xell screamed out in his mind as a mallet was smashed into hios form. He offed and owed in his mind as this occured, salt and pepper added to him. He started to weep as onions came on next, as well as fresh garlic. It was clear he was going to be a steak dinner for someone. He wimpered as he was flipped in the pan, groaning as he heard the chef singing happily. All he had done to try and get Zabna back had just gone wrong.
 
Now he would be dinner for a nameless party.
 
***************************
 
After awhile, Xell moaned as he was brought out on a large tray with some potatoes and vesggies for a dinner for someone. THe chef who made the meal was celebrating her new boyfriend, or so she thought. With a smile, she brought the steak dinner to a pair of deer.
 
"Oh great." Xell thought to himself, by now very upset. "Add insult to injury. I lose my girl because of an accident, and now I am going to be dinner for my favorite kind of meat. Great."
 
Xell groaned as the two lovers saw the yummy steak, and got tyheir knives and some A-1 sauce. THey poured the sauce over the wolf steak, and bvegan to carve it.
 
"Oh my.... this is the best steak I have ever had! Tastes like wolf meat!" THe doe said, chewing into a part of it.
 
"I agree, so tender, so juicy... I swear this is the best ever!" THe buck said, kissing his mate and sipping some wine. Xell groaned some as he was slowly carved by the two deer. Damnit, they should be on his plate, NOT the other way around! At least it still felt good to be eaten, so that was something.
 
"Boy, will Zana be pissed when she learns her old boyfirend is dating one of the chefs." THe doe said. "even left her a gift!"
 
Well, that didn't last long. Xell was just relieved when he was finally all eaten up.
 
*****************************
 
When he reformed after a bit, He saw Zana standing there. he shook his head as she looked at him, and began to walk out, trying his best to aviod the gaze of the clearly ditzy chef.
 
"Note to self: NEVER, EVER, try and rekindle a relationship. Especially with a magical...."
 
But he got to say no more as Zana came over, squishing him flat with the hammer, laughing some. As it came off, showing his pattied fornm, he was clearly upset.
 
"Never mind. Seems I have no choice." he sighed and went with it for now.... wether he wanted to or not.
 
 
 
THE END.... IN ABOUT 50 YEARS.