Uploaded: 15 years ago
Views: 3,449
File size: 41.50 KiB
MIME Type: application/msword
Comments: 26
Favorites: 22
Tags: writing
“Subway Stationâ€, a short story with a dark ending that concludes what happens when one acts like something they are not. I decided to be blunt with this story. I noticed that my longer and more detailed stories tend to intimidate many viewers. Why? I have the slightest clue. Hopefully this story attracts a number of creative and constructive comments. If not, I guess it’s back to the drawing board – so many people do not understand that writing a piece of work is not easy, it’s like drawing or painting, it takes time and dedication.
The idea of the story came to mind when I watched the MARTA incident that occurred in which a young woman (she was twenty five years of age) intimidated an elderly woman and no came to help. It angered me, but it gave me a story idea and here it is. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. More short stories on the way. If there are any errors, please email them to me. I will be happy to check them out and make corrections if possible.
Here’s the video url of what I’m talking about. This is a public transportation I normally take to commute to work, college, and home…so this wasn’t anything out of the usual.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NZtGz_7WI0
Please login to post a comment.
Posted by Jacquelope 15 years ago Report
“Yo, yo, yo, yo! Did ya' hur me in dis place. I be talkin' to yo too baby bitch!” That kind of gave me pause. That's not exactly how I envision a gangster talking... but other than that, wow. That was scary. I would have pissed myself, too, especially after seeing her getting coughed back up. “I'm freezing…I need clothing…I need daddy, mommy, and daddy.” Now that chilled me as it reminds me a lot of a scene from Apocalypse Zero.
You swung for the fence and cleared it. Well done!
Posted by Gentle_Grounds 15 years ago Report
Yeah, I'm not too much into the gangster culture. That dialog is what I have heard from teens and young adults when talking to one another. I see them everywhere I go as I'm in Atlanta.
Posted by KlinKitty 15 years ago Report
Very nice! Could have done without the regurgitation though (if only because I dislike gory stuff), but I love the idea of people getting devoured in public like that.
Posted by Gentle_Grounds 15 years ago Report
Thanks. I kept other fetishes in mind as well.
Posted by Gentle_Grounds 15 years ago Report
Thanks man.
Posted by Tsavo 15 years ago Report
O_O *Backs away slowly*
Gore isn't exactly my thing, but it was a nicely done story regardless.
Posted by Gentle_Grounds 15 years ago Report
Thanks. I have to admit, the gore part made me pause for a minute. But, I know somewhere there's someone who loved it.
Posted by Jacquelope 15 years ago Report
Regurgitation is good, sometimes you have to mix it up a bit. I appreciate a little diversity in vore and vore outcomes, probably because I see it as horror and not erotica.
Posted by Fidel2323 15 years ago Report
wow, that was excellent written, really great.
I drop to my knees to praise an Author who can write such a masterpiece...
Posted by Gentle_Grounds 15 years ago Report
Wow, thanks for the great compliment.
Posted by Fidel2323 15 years ago Report
it would be longer, if my english would be better ^^"
i can read it, but write it...
Posted by AtmosRobot 15 years ago Report
I read this and you previous story (can't remember the title, but it was the one with the heartless dick in it) and I must say that you present extremely vivid imagery in your writing. Very enjoyable.
Posted by Gentle_Grounds 15 years ago Report
Thanks. Was it, "Unbelievable" or "Prankster"?
Posted by AtmosRobot 15 years ago Report
It was Prankster. I'll have to go through and read more of your works, though. I generally just read and pay little attention to who wrote the stories, so I may have read a few of yours and not remember them. :?
But, yeah, you definitely have a way with words.
Posted by Gentle_Grounds 15 years ago Report
Thanks.
Posted by French_snack 15 years ago Report
Great story. Kim's words at the end were chilling. You pulled it off with great effect.
Posted by Gentle_Grounds 15 years ago Report
Thanks, French_Snack, coming from you that means a lot.
Posted by Grogg 15 years ago Report
Twas a good Tale of the Public area based Yarn.
Me Gives it the Thumbs up!
Posted by Gentle_Grounds 15 years ago Report
Lol. Thanks.
Posted by Tai223236 15 years ago Report
Very engaging story, and good to see regurgitation for once. I was surprised she didn't come out as a digested goo, but a great story none the less. :)
Posted by Gentle_Grounds 15 years ago Report
Thanks.
Posted by IGA 15 years ago Report
very good story. Im so jealous of your writing skills. And i agree with tai223236, regurtation is rarely seen and, pretty damn interesting.
Posted by etrius 15 years ago Report
.......wow.......that was a very good story.....brutal........but good ...........
Posted by etrius 14 years ago Report
i almost cried the second time i read it....... its just so cruel that not exactly this but things like this actually happen people get hurt and no one helps....sometimes i want to cry due to how horrible it is
Posted by Gentle_Grounds 14 years ago Report
Indeed. We live in a rough world, but it's life.