"Abuse"
By Gentle_Grounds -- Report
A woman is abused by her husband. She eventually snaps, and fights back.
A woman is abused by her husband. She eventually snaps, and fights back.
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Posted by French_snack 16 years ago Report
You're unstoppable!
This may be one of your best, although the quality of your stories is always high. Simple, in a way, with short and basic sentences and words - yet powerfully moving (no doubt in part because of it). It lends a feel of tragically ordinary reality to it. There's something truly ghastly in the contrast between the man's public image, and the hidden, domestic hell he inflicts on her. The end is particularly effective, in terms of the feelings it brings out, reinforced by that simple image of the bird. Hope risen - and shown to be illusory. No escape, indeed, except in the most dreadful way. The bird has taken flight only a sense. It's not seen flying off; it's simply "gone".
Great work. I don't know what a female reader would make of it, but coming from a male writer it strikes me as all the more impressive.
Posted by Gentle_Grounds 16 years ago Report
Thanks. Hopefully, my professor will like it as well.
Posted by Gentle_Grounds 16 years ago Report
Good news, I received the paper, and I was given a perfect score.
Posted by French_snack 16 years ago Report
I'm not surprised; you deserved it. Well done! :)
Posted by Gentle_Grounds 16 years ago Report
Thanks.
Posted by Pippy1989 16 years ago Report
Wow. The ending was intense.
I didn't like it. Women who are abused rarely act as portrayed in this (in my experience). If they know the pred is weak, as weak as she claims to think he is, they run. I won't say this was a bad story, because it wasn't. The words, images, sentences were incredible. It was the overall image that was flawed to me. Maybe I'm just cynical, but the woman was portrayed as horribly weak and, for lack of a better word, stupid. I do want to say that I'm impressed by your snapshot from a writing standpoint.
Posted by Gentle_Grounds 16 years ago Report
Thank you for your concern and opinion of this story. I was taken back a few steps as the first I read, "I didn't like it." But, it's good that you're honest. That is what I have asked from my audience, and that is what I receive.
While I do agree that not all women are like this, I assure you that some women are like this. It's not so much of acting stupid. It's much of being afraid, and the fear of being alone. I wouldn't go as far as saying, 'stupid', because, in these cases it's psychological issues they're experiencing.
Take for example, some of the women from Muslim families in the Middle East, and how they take the abuse from their husbands. These women neither complain, leave, or even fight back at times. Some women do stay with abusive spouses. There are stories (sources) that can tell you that when researched. And you have said it yourself, "in my experience". I would NEVER post a story as being symbolic for an entire group.
Posted by Pippy1989 16 years ago Report
You're 1000% right. I was looking at it from MY viewpoint. Not from another culture. Re-reading it makes it a little clearer to me. It's not one of my favourites, but I still can't get over some of the images you write. You and I both know you're a fabulous writer, and I don't want you to think I'm being negative. :) Thanks for the new perspective I've gained from this comment. :)
Posted by Gentle_Grounds 16 years ago Report
In addition, the narrator didn't know her husband was weak until she snapped, and her fighting back was merely a dream. Possibly, she wanted to fight back, but was afraid of the consequences. Sometimes we, as humans desire to overcome things that we may very well become dominant over, but are held back only by fear of the "what if".