Good choice for first person perspective. I like the way we're gradually brought into the nature of their relationship, as we're not immediately aware (if we haven't looked at the tags) that Lucienne is a real vampire. The discovery goes well with the fact that Calli herself seems uncertain of the nature of the feelings which link her to Lucienne. We're drawn into the meandering thoughts and feelings of the narrator. Her perspective at the end is interesting, and leaves us with something to think about.
As a story that "can be enjoyed by everyone, regardless of gender" (as you put it on the forum), I'd say (speaking as a male reader) that it's a definite success.
*blush* thank you! I worried a bit about going into a bit too much detail just a little too late, so I'm glad that it was more of a gradual shift. Normally, I use first person points of view to help focus my writing instead of letting it wander, but some characters have a wandering mind, especially in odd situations like this.
I'm definitely glad that this is a story that can be enjoyed by at least one male out there. :3
Posted by French_snack 14 years ago Report
Good choice for first person perspective. I like the way we're gradually brought into the nature of their relationship, as we're not immediately aware (if we haven't looked at the tags) that Lucienne is a real vampire. The discovery goes well with the fact that Calli herself seems uncertain of the nature of the feelings which link her to Lucienne. We're drawn into the meandering thoughts and feelings of the narrator. Her perspective at the end is interesting, and leaves us with something to think about.
As a story that "can be enjoyed by everyone, regardless of gender" (as you put it on the forum), I'd say (speaking as a male reader) that it's a definite success.
Posted by Mirukani 14 years ago Report
*blush* thank you! I worried a bit about going into a bit too much detail just a little too late, so I'm glad that it was more of a gradual shift. Normally, I use first person points of view to help focus my writing instead of letting it wander, but some characters have a wandering mind, especially in odd situations like this.
I'm definitely glad that this is a story that can be enjoyed by at least one male out there. :3